Chapter 403: The Greatest Distance
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
With s.h.i.+vering hands, Li Lei pulled her into an embrace.
“Xiao Ling…” His voice trailed as he pleaded with her. “Will you leave with me? I beg of you, I can’t live without you…” His voice was so hoa.r.s.e, he barely sounded like himself anymore.
Tears welled up in Xia Ling’s eyes, and the tears that she had held in just now came gus.h.i.+ng out. However, she restrained herself and shook her head. “Li Lei, I can’t leave. I can’t…” What if the curse came true because she left? She had lived for two lifetimes and believed in the superst.i.tions and powers of the heavens more than anyone else. So, how could she possibly put her lover’s life at such risk? She would very much rather see him live a peaceful life, even if it meant keeping a distance from him.
“I know that you left with him in order to save me. But I’m fine now. I’m standing before you well and alive, why won’t you come with me?!” Li Lei had both hands on her shoulders and was in utter desperation. “Imperial can afford to pay for the termination fees of the contract, but I can afford it too. Xiao Ling, come back to me, please.”
This was the very first time Xia Ling had heard him speak in such a tone; it ripped her heart into pieces. She never knew that she could hurt this much when she saw him in pain.
But, how could she accede to his request?
“Li Lei, this isn’t about money.” Xia Ling hardened her heart and decided to make him give up all hope of her return. She spoke slowly, “I… I’m willing to be with Pei Ziheng. There was no coercion involved, we… couldn’t resist ourselves, that’s how we ended up in bed together.”
“Nonsense!” He growled like an injured beast.
Suppressing the pain in her heart, Xia Ling mustered the courage to look him in the eye. “Li Lei, it’s true.”
Each word was uttered so slowly, she could feel the pain creeping up at her with every breath. “Actually, I’ve always liked him. I’ve been liking him even before I fell for you. But I didn’t want to be his mistress, I wanted a relations.h.i.+p where we stood on equal grounds, which was why I avoided him and went with you instead. You… were always his subst.i.tute.”
These words hid more truth than it revealed.
She could not tell him that her love for Pei Ziheng had faded over the years, and the only feeling she had left for him was fear. She was afraid of Pei Ziheng, afraid that she would end up in his luxurious but tormenting cage.
It was a fact that she wanted a pure and equal relations.h.i.+p, but the person who had given it to her was the man standing before her, not the other man. With Li Lei, she was carefree and at ease, like soaking in a bathtub under the warm glow of the sun. She had fallen in love with him and was all ready to spend the rest of her life with this man. It was a pity that it all ended way too soon…
She had not had the chance to tell him that she loved him.
“Subst.i.tute…?” Li Leo’s hands had fallen off her shoulders. He took a few steps back and was caught in utter disbelief. “Xiao Ling, you’ve always seen me this way?”
“Yes.” She clenched her jaw and forced the word out. “The days of loneliness were too hard to bear, that was why I couldn’t help but lean into your every embrace. But the other day when we were at the cliff, it hit me — if I died, I would never have the chance to be with Ziheng again. Hence, I told myself that if I survived, I would return to his side.”
She deliberately said the name “Ziheng” with affection.
In her past life, she had spoken his name too many times in affection and admiration. This time, it was all too easy for her to do it again.
Li Lei’s expression was even more awful than before.
Xia Ling felt as if her heart had gone numb from breaking too many times. The only way she could cope was to think of herself as an empty sh.e.l.l, an actress who was doing nothing more than reading her lines. “So, I’ve been with Ziheng since that incident. As for saving you, it was simply out of convenience. Li Lei, I hope you get this clear — I’m not getting together with him just to save you, don’t put yourself too high up on a pedestal.”
She said it all in one breath, afraid that she would not be able to go on if she took a pause.
“I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it!” He glared at her with bloodshot eyes. “You’re just lying to me, aren’t you? How could you possibly fall for a monster like him? Do you know how much of a womanizer he is and how much he disrespects love? Ye Xingling, you’re out of your mind! He doesn’t even treat his woman as human beings! Are you saying you’re willing to be his plaything, ready to be tossed aside once he’s sick of you?! I’m telling you, I’ve investigated him. He…”
“That’s enough!” Xia Ling cut him off agitatedly. His words were harsh enough to hurt her. “Li Lei, you know what?! I don’t need you to tell me what sort of person Ziheng is! You don’t understand! That’s between him and me! I’m more than happy to be with him! I don’t need your opinion!”
Her screams were partly feigned, but an outlet for the immense pain she was in as well. The relations.h.i.+p she had with Pei Ziheng was like an infected wound that could never heal — it hurt unbearably even with the slightest of touch.
Li Lei smiled out of anger. “Ye Xingling, I love you so much. I even put my life on the line to save you. And now you’re telling me that you want to be with that man?! Ye Xingling, you’re heartless!”
“That’s not for you to care!” She did not want their last moments together to be spent like this, hurling hurtful words at each other. But Li Lei’s comments were like a knife to her heart, and she couldn’t help but retaliate. “Li Lei, no matter how bad Pei Ziheng is, he’s a million times better than you! I like him as it is! No, I love him. You hear that? I love him!”
Li Lei was being tormented as well. “Ye Xingling, I never knew you were into BDSM. If this is your style, I can satisfy you as well!” A storm was raging inside him, and the words that escaped him were increasingly vile.
She looked away for a split second and forced herself to look up at him again. “I don’t need your concern! No matter how much he’s torturing and humiliating me, I’m more than willing to take it! Li Lei, please save yourself some dignity and stop bothering me!”
With that, she turned around and dashed out of the corridor.
She ran down flights of stairs like she was running for her life, and the echo of her footsteps reverberated behind her so loudly that they seemed to be mocking her selfishness and cowardice.
When she finally dashed out of the building, she was greeted by the faint glow of dawn.
In her field of vision, the two security officers on duty were chatting merrily, while a middle-aged man was handing a piping hot bun to his wife, who was busy sweeping the pavement. Meanwhile, Xia Ling stood there all alone. Regardless of the pain she had gone through, this world was oblivious to it, remaining as joyful as ever.
Drained of all her energy, she staggered along.
She did not know how many steps she had taken — probably just two to three, and possibly a dozen — before she saw a car parked on the other side of the street. It was a luxurious black car, none other than Pei Ziheng’s Rolls-Royce.
Xia Ling halted in her tracks and did not approach it. She stood and watched.
Pei Ziheng had several of these cars, and he would get the chauffeur to drive her around sometimes. If the car were here so early in the morning, did it mean that Pei Ziheng wanted her home early after she pulled an all-nighter recording her song?