_Just_. Ha! sure some powerful sympathy directs Us both-- _Enter_ CONSTABLE _with_ Son.
What is thy name?
_Son_. My name is Tom Jenkins--_alias_ have I none-- Though orphan"d, and without a friend!
_Just_. Thy parents?
_Son_. My father dwelt in Rochester--and was, As I have heard--a fishmonger--no more."
_Puff_. What, sir, do you leave out the account of your birth, parentage, and education?
_Son_ They have settled it so, sir, here.
_Puff_. Oh! oh!
"_Lady_. How loudly nature whispers to my heart Had he no other name?
_Son_. I"ve seen a bill Of his sign"d Tomkins, creditor.
_Just_. This does indeed confirm each circ.u.mstance The gipsy told!--Prepare!
_Son_. I do.
_Just_. No orphan, nor without a friend art thou--I am thy father; here"s thy mother; there Thy uncle--this thy first cousin, and those Are all your near relations!
_Lady_. O ecstasy of bliss!
_Son_. O most unlook"d for happiness!
_Just_. O wonderful event! [_They faint alternately in each other"s arms_.]"
_Puff_. There, you see, relationship, like murder, will out.
"_Just_. Now let"s revive--else were this joy too much! But come--and we"ll unfold the rest within; And thou, my boy, must needs want rest and food. Hence may each orphan hope, as chance directs, To find a father--where he least expects!
[_Exeunt_.]"
_Puff_. What do you think of that?
_Dang_. One of the finest discovery-scenes I ever saw!-- Why, this under-plot would have made a tragedy itself.
_Sneer_. Ay! or a comedy either.
_Puff_. And keeps quite clear you see of the other.
"_Enter_ SCENEMEN, _taking away the seats_."
_Puff_. The scene remains, does it?
_Sceneman_. Yes, sir.
_Puff_. You are to leave one chair, you know.--But it is always awkward in a tragedy, to have your fellows coming in in your play-house liveries to remove things.--I wish that could be managed better.--So now for my mysterious yeoman.
"_Enter_ BEEFEATER.
_Beef_. Perdition catch my soul, but I do love thee."
_Sneer_. Haven"t I heard that line before?
_Puff_. No, I fancy not.--Where, pray?
_Dang_. Yes, I think there is something like it in Oth.e.l.lo.
_Puff_. Gad! now you put me in mind on"t, I believe there is--but that"s of no consequence; all that can be said is, that two people happened to hit upon the same thought--and Shakspeare made use of it first, that"s all.
_Sneer_. Very true.
_Puff_. Now, sir, your soliloquy--but speak more to the pit, if you please--the soliloquy always to the pit, that"s a rule.
"_Beef_. Though hopeless love finds comfort in despair, It never can endure a rival"s bliss! But soft--I am observed.
[_Exit_.]"
_Dang_. That"s a very short soliloquy.
_Puff_. Yes--but it would have been a great deal longer if he had not been observed.
_Sneer_. A most sentimental Beefeater that, Mr. Puff!
_Puff_. Hark"ee--I would not have you be too sure that he is a Beefeater.
_Sneer_. What, a hero in disguise?
_Puff_. No matter--I only give you a hint. But now for my princ.i.p.al character. Here he comes--Lord Burleigh in person!
Pray, gentlemen, step this way--softly--I only hope the Lord High Treasurer is perfect--if he is but perfect!
"_Enter_ LORD BURLEIGH, _goes slowly to a chair, and sits._"
_Sneer_. Mr. Puff!
_Puff_. Hush!--Vastly well, sir! vastly well! a most interesting gravity.
_Dang_. What, isn"t he to speak at all?
_Puff_. Egad, I thought you"d ask me that!--Yes, it is a very likely thing--that a minister in his situation, with the whole affairs of the nation on his head, should have time to talk!--But hush! or you"ll put him out.
_Sneer_. Put him out; how the plague can that be, if he"s not going to say anything?
_Puff_. There"s the reason! why, his part is to think; and how the plague do you imagine he can think if you keep talking?
_Dang_. That"s very true, upon my word!
"LORD BURLEIGH _comes forward, shakes his head, and exit_."
_Sneer_. He is very perfect indeed! Now, pray what did he mean by that?
_Puff_. You don"t take it?
_Sneer_. No, I don"t, upon my soul.
_Puff_. Why, by that shake of the head, he gave you to understand that even though they had more justice in their cause, and wisdom in their measures--yet, if there was not a greater spirit shown on the part of the people, the country would at last fall a sacrifice to the hostile ambition of the Spanish monarchy.
_Sneer_. The devil! did he mean all that by shaking his head?
_Puff_. Every word of it--if he shook his head as I taught him.
_Dang_. Ah! there certainly is a vast deal to be done on the stage by dumb show and expressions of face; and a judicious author knows how much he may trust to it.
_Sneer_. Oh, here are some of our old acquaintance.
"_Enter_ SIR CHRISTOPHER HATTON _and_ SIR WALTER RALEIGH.
_Sir Christ_. My niece and your niece too! By Heaven!
there"s witchcraft in"t.--He could not else Have gain"d their hearts.--But see where they approach Some horrid purpose lowering on their brows!
_Sir Walt_. Let us withdraw and mark them. [_They withdraw_.]"
_Sneer_. What is all this?
_Puff_. Ah! here has been more pruning!--but the fact is, these two young ladies are also in love with Don Whiskerandos.-- Now, gentlemen, this scene goes entirely for what we call situation and stage effect, by which the greatest applause may be obtained, without the a.s.sistance of language, sentiment, or character: pray mark!
"_Enter the two_ NIECES.
_1st Niece_. Ellena here! She is his scorn as much as I-- that is Some comfort still !"
_Puff_. O dear, madam, you are not to say that to her face!
--Aside, ma"am, aside.--The whole scene is to be aside.
"_1st Niece_. She is his scorn as much as I--that is Some comfort still. [_Aside_.]
_2nd Niece_. I know he prizes not Pollina"s love; But Tilburina lords it o"er his heart. [_Aside_.]
_1st Niece_. But see the proud destroyer of my peace.
Revenge is all the good I"ve left. [_Aside_.]
_2nd Niece_. He comes, the false disturber of my quiet. Now vengeance do thy worst. [_Aside_.]
_Enter_ DON FEROLO WHISKERANDOS.
_Whisk_. O hateful liberty--if thus in vain I seek my Tilburina!
_Both Nieces_. And ever shalt!
SIR CHRISTOPHER HATTON _and_ SIR WALTER RALEIGH _come forward_.
_Sir Christ. and Sir Walt_. Hold! we will avenge you.
_Whisk_. Hold _you_--or see your nieces bleed! [_The two_ NIECES _draw their two daggers to strike_ WHISKERANDOS: _the two_ UNCLES _at the instant, with their two swords drawn, catch their two_ NIECES" _arms, and turn the points of their swords to_ WHISKERANDOS, _who immediately draws two daggers, and holds them to the two_ NIECES" _bosoms_.]"
_Puff._ There"s situation for you! there"s an heroic group!
--You see the ladies can"t stab Whiskerandos--he durst not strike them, for fear of their uncles--the uncles durst not kill him, because of their nieces.--I have them all at a dead lock!--for every one of them is afraid to let go first.
_Sneer._ Why, then they must stand there for ever!
_Puff._ So they would, if I hadn"t a very fine contrivance for"t.--Now mind-- "_Enter_ BEEFEATER, _with his halbert_.
_Beef._ In the queen"s name I charge you all to drop Your swords and daggers!
[_They drop their swords and daggers_."]
_Sneer._ That is a contrivance indeed!
_Puff._ Ay--in the queen"s name.
_Sir Christ._ Come, niece!
_Sir Walt._ Come, niece! [_Exeunt with the two_ NIECES.]
_Whisk._ What"s he, who bids us thus renounce our guard?
_Beef._ Thou must do more--renounce thy love!
_Whisk._ Thou liest--base Beefeater!
_Beef._ Ha! h.e.l.l! the lie! By Heaven thou"st roused the lion in my heart! Off, yeoman"s habit!--base disguise! off! off!
[_Discovers himself by throwing off his upper dress, and appearing in a very fine waistcoat._] Am I a Beefeater now? Or beams my crest as terrible as when In Biscay"s Bay I took thy captive sloop?"
_Puff._ There, egad! he comes out to be the very captain of the privateer who had taken Whiskerandos prisoner--and was himself an old lover of Tilburina"s.
_Dang._ Admirably managed, indeed!
_Puff._ Now, stand out of their way.