"No, not in the least. But after Grant moved out, I was an emotional mess. I felt lost, bewildered, defeated. As if I"d suddenly been blinded, with no idea where I was or how to find my way out. It took weeks-no, months-to come to grips with the situation. I"m a different person now. The years have given me perspective. I can understand better what happened and why Grant was attracted to Tiffany."
"Sounds as if you"re making excuses for him."
"Does it?"
"Yes."
She looked down at the ground and moved the dirt around with the toe of her shoe. Maybe she was was making excuses for Grant; if so, it was probably because he"d recognized how wrong he"d been and told her so, over and over. "Grant"s sorry about it now.... I mentioned before that he wants us to get back together. He had roses delivered to the hotel." making excuses for Grant; if so, it was probably because he"d recognized how wrong he"d been and told her so, over and over. "Grant"s sorry about it now.... I mentioned before that he wants us to get back together. He had roses delivered to the hotel."
"Here in Vegas?"
She nodded. "They were in the room waiting for us. He wanted to apologize because we had a small argument over the phone last night."
"About me, I suspect."
"If you must know, he was horrified that I"d taken off with you."
"He"s right. It was a risky thing to do."
"Are you dangerous, Max?"
He didn"t answer.
"Is Max your real name?"
"It is. Max Scranton. My friends find it ironic-the Mad Max thing. But I"ve been Max my whole life." He hesitated and leaned back against the bike, stretched out his legs and crossed his arms. "Kate used to call me-" He didn"t finish the sentence.
"Does it hurt to talk about her?"
He looked away. "What you told me yesterday is true. It does get easier. I didn"t think that was possible."
"How much longer will you continue to run?" she asked. She wouldn"t have been nearly as forward if he hadn"t been curious about her and Grant.
"Is that what I"m doing? Running away from the pain?" The question didn"t appear to offend him.
She nodded. "Actually, I think I would"ve pulled up roots and left Seattle if not for Andrew and Annie." It occurred to her that he might have children. "Did you and Kate have a family?"
Anguish came and went in his eyes so quickly that Bethanne wondered if she"d imagined it. "A daughter. Katherine was born with a rare genetic disease. She died when she was eleven. Since we both carried the gene, we decided not to have any more children. After Katherine it was just the two of us. Then...Kate was gone, too. I didn"t deal well with that. I blamed myself for a long time." He spoke with his gaze on the lights of the city below. "I buried myself in a bottle for the first year. I don"t know what would"ve happened to me if it wasn"t for Rooster and my brother. Fortunately, Luke stepped in to take over the business. Otherwise, I would"ve lost it, along with everything else. In a way I think that"s what I wanted. Maybe what I deserved. Death robbed me of the two people I loved most. Nothing else mattered. I think I wanted to die myself. Death would be easier than living with the pain." He paused and inhaled deeply. "Then Rooster took control. He refused to let me slowly kill myself. I"m grateful now, but, trust me, at the time I much preferred the idea of drinking myself to death."
Max had lost so much. His daughter and then his wife.
"I don"t talk about Katherine," he murmured, staring into the night sky. "Not with anyone." He looked decidedly uncomfortable. "You...unnerve me, Bethanne. I don"t know how else to describe it-and I don"t like it. Feeling vulnerable is something I avoid. I don"t understand what makes you different."
Bethanne didn"t understand it, either. She placed her hand on his forearm and felt him tense. "Why did you come looking for me?" she asked.
He snorted softly as if he wished he knew the answer himself. "The thing is, I"m not sure why I wanted to see you again. All I knew was that I...needed to."
Still sitting, he held out his arms, and she leaned into his embrace. He held her close. Bethanne tucked her head beneath his chin and released a slow, thoughtful sigh.
A hundred questions chased one another in her mind, but she couldn"t ask a single one. After what seemed like a very long time, he reluctantly let her go.
"You feel like you belong in my arms," he whispered.
Bethanne wanted to tell him she felt the same way, but she couldn"t afford to encourage this relationship. Over the past six years she"d dated, but no one had affected her the way this man did. Instead, she looked up at him, and his dark eyes held hers.
She shook her head. "No, don"t..."
"Don"t?"
"You"re going to kiss me. Aren"t you?"
He frowned.
"I"m flattered, don"t get me wrong-but my life"s complicated. I took this trip with my mother-in-law and Annie because I needed time to sort through some things."
"Whether to reunite with your ex-husband."
"Like I said, my life"s complicated...and I can"t...I won"t get involved with you."
He grinned.
"This isn"t funny! My life is-"
"Complicated," he finished for her. "Yeah, I know. It"s just a kiss, Bethanne."
"I know." She felt foolish for acting as though it was something more. "But the way I feel..." She didn"t finish, wasn"t even sure she should. She"d just told him how attractive she found him.
He seemed to realize what she meant. "Got it. It"s time I took you back to the hotel."
"Right." She didn"t want to leave, but it was for the best and clearly he recognized that, too.
He placed the helmet on his head and climbed on the bike. Bethanne did the same. Instead of circling her arms around him the way she had previously, she simply gripped the sides of his leather jacket. If he noticed, he didn"t mention it. In her two times on the bike, she"d learned quite a bit about motorcycles. As they rode, her body automatically adjusted to the curves and turns.
The reverse journey, back into the city, seemed to take ten times longer. When they reached the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, he pulled into the parking area, where the valets a.s.sisted drivers. He waited for her to climb off first.
She removed the helmet and handed it to him. Her throat clogged with tears as she struggled to speak. She wouldn"t see him again, and while she knew that was the only responsible option, it saddened her. Finally, she decided on a simple "Thank you."
He nodded without looking at her.
Turning away, she entered the casino and was startled by the surge of loud music.
Tired now and discouraged, Bethanne hurried toward the elevator. She was standing in the lobby when she saw Rooster making his way toward her.
"Where"s Max?" he asked, obviously surprised to find her alone. He held a beer bottle in one hand.
She shrugged. "I don"t know. He dropped me off and left."
Rooster frowned and took a swallow of his beer. "He just dropped you off?"
She hoped Max"s friend would give her some insight into him. "We went up to a hill where we could look at the city and talked for a while."
Rooster led her away from the crowd and into one of the bars. "Let me buy you a beer."
"Thanks, but I"m not much of a beer drinker."
"Order whatever you want," he said. He found them a table and raised his hand to get the attention of the waitress.
"I prefer red wine."
He grinned at that.
"There"s nothing wrong with red wine," she said.
"Nothing whatsoever. You might ask Max about that the next time you see him."
Bethanne doubted she"d have the opportunity.
The waitress came for their order and quickly returned with another beer for Rooster and a gla.s.s of merlot for Bethanne. Actually, she was glad she"d run into Max"s friend.
"He nearly tore this town apart looking for you," Rooster commented. He leaned toward her, his elbows propped on the table.
By contrast Max had made it sound as if he"d tracked her down without much effort. "Did he tell you why it was so important to find me?"
"No."
"Where are Willie and Skunk?" She shouldn"t ask questions. What she should do was drink her wine, thank Rooster and go up to bed.
"They took off on their own when they got tired of racing from one casino to the next. Can"t say I blame them."
"I don"t think Max is all that pleased he found me."
"Don"t be so sure."
"Frankly, I"m not sure of anything, including how I feel." She thought for a moment. "I guess I"m sad, mostly." Still, she felt honored that their brief time together had such a strong impact on him. It"d been the same for her, but the timing was all wrong. The situation, too. She tasted her wine, then held the gla.s.s by its stem. For some reason, she felt an urge to explain. "I can"t get involved with Max," she said. "I just can"t. Not right now. I have responsibilities, decisions to make, and I need a clear mind."
"You sound like Max."
"How?"
"At every casino he said he didn"t need a woman messing with his mind. He said he wasn"t going to let a woman make him stupid."
"What does that mean?"
"h.e.l.l if I know. You"ll have to ask him. All day, casino after casino, he kept saying he needed his head examined and yet he kept searching. I asked him what was so special about you, and he wouldn"t answer. He didn"t stop until he found you and I don"t think he would have, either."
Despite herself, she smiled. "When he hugged me, he said I...belonged in his arms."
"You hugged? That"s all?" Rooster sounded incredulous.
"That"s all."
"He hasn"t touched another woman since Kate died. You"ve obviously had a powerful effect on him."
She sipped her wine while she tried to make sense of all this. "He"ll be fine." Taking her business card from her purse, she handed it to Rooster. "Give this to him and tell him to call me when he"s ready." By then she would have reached her own decision regarding Grant. She"d know what she wanted. With time and distance she"d be able to think, to put her history with Grant and this new attraction in perspective. If she went back to Grant, she"d inform Max-provided she even heard from him again. If not...
Rooster put the card in his pocket and frowned at her. "You sure you want to do this?"
She nodded. "I"m sure."
And she was.
Thirteen.
Bethanne was putting on eye makeup when Annie, dressed in her pj"s, stumbled into the bathroom bleary-eyed, her hair a tangled mess.
"Did you have fun last night?" Bethanne asked. She"d lain awake a long time and heard Annie tiptoe into the room around three that morning. In fact, Bethanne doubted she"d slept more than a couple of hours the entire night. She"d been thinking of Max and their conversation. She couldn"t help wondering what might have happened if she"d let him kiss her. Well, it was too late to question that now.
"I had a blast," Annie said as she ran a brush through her hair. "Would it be all right if you and Grandma did your own thing today?"
"Are you seeing Jason again?"
"That"s okay, isn"t it? I met his parents. They"re with him and his sister is, too. Apparently, a cousin of his got married yesterday afternoon. We hung out with his sister most of the night."
"Sure. That"s fine."
"I"m meeting his parents for breakfast. Why don"t you come with us?"
"Thanks, I will. But I don"t want you to stay out as late tonight, okay? We"re leaving in the morning."
"I won"t, I promise."
Annie dressed quickly in cotton capris and a tank top, and put on minimal makeup. Oh, the benefits of being in your twenties! Not that middle age didn"t have its compensations...
When Bethanne had finished her own makeup, her mother-in-law was sitting on the end of the bed waiting. "You ready for breakfast, Ruth?" she asked. "We"ve been invited to join Annie"s friend Jason and his family."
"More than ready." Ruth reached for her purse and together they left the room. They spent a delightful hour with Jason and his extended family, all of them friendly and outgoing people, then walked the Strip, visiting one casino after another. They rode the gondola at the Venetian and shopped at Caesars Palace, then ate lunch at Wolfgang Puck"s restaurant. Ruth"s energy surpa.s.sed Bethanne"s. Her mother-in-law might be attending her fiftieth cla.s.s reunion, but she was physically fit and mentally alert. And And she"d had a good night"s sleep, unlike Bethanne. she"d had a good night"s sleep, unlike Bethanne.
"I have to admit I"m enjoying this more than I would Mount Rushmore," Ruth told her as she set her fork down. "I"m feeling lucky. Would you mind if I went back to the hotel and gave Vanna a chance to return my money?"
"Of course. You do what you want. This is your trip."
Ruth looked unsure. "But I want you to enjoy yourself, too." She paused. "Annie certainly seems to be having a good time."