"I shall be very glad to come," Elsie answered. "It is so long since I have talked with any one so motherly as you are." As she spoke her lips quivered. They both knew that the loss of a mother leaves a void which can only be filled up in heaven, and perhaps the first treasure restored to us there will be the unspeakable gift of a mother"s love.
"I have never had a daughter," said Mrs. Beaton, with a slight trembling in her voice. "When Meta Neale came I sometimes caught a glimpse of what a daughter might be."
The room was growing darker, but Elsie felt rather than saw the swift look of pain which swept across Andrew"s face. She felt in her mind, magnetically, the feeling that was in his. It came to her all at once--that sudden, strange intuition which reveals to us the deep places in other people"s lives.
He, too, had caught a glimpse of what a daughter might have been to his mother. He had seen how lovely his life might have grown if he could have won Meta. But that vision had been sternly put away from him; neither in this life nor the next would she belong to him.
It was worse than a loss, Elsie thought. It was "the devotion to something afar" from his own sphere--a longing for the light of a star that had never shone into his world at all. He was not grieving for a gift given and taken away, but for a treasure which had never for an instant come within his reach. She went away in the gathering dusk with a heart full of sympathy. Had the "vanished hand" guided her into the path of his solitary life that she might shed a ray of brightness there?
Miss Saxon was waiting for her with an anxious face. Some people had called and left cards--friends who had lived once near her old neighbourhood. Elsie felt very little interest in them now; her mind was full of new feelings; she did not care to talk over bygone days. "I don"t want to begin visiting," she said. "I am so busy, Miss Saxon! In this life of mine there is so much to do--is there not?"
CHAPTER VII
_MRS. PENN_
"I have a boy of five years old, His face is fair and fresh to see, His limbs are cast in beauty"s mould, And dearly he loves me."
--WORDSWORTH.
Three days went by, and then Elsie bent her steps to Wardour Street again. Andrew Beaton was in his old place behind the counter, but his face did not look any brighter than usual.
"No answer yet, Miss Kilner," he said. "My mother is worried about the matter. She thinks that we have neglected a duty. I am glad you have come. She is too much alone."
Elsie found the old lady sitting dejectedly in her little parlour, but she brightened at the sight of her visitor.
"We have heard nothing," she began. "And yet the notice has been in all the papers. Mrs. Penn was always a newspaper reader; nothing escaped her eyes. I am beginning to fear that she is dead."
"We mustn"t imagine evils," Elsie replied.
"But if she is dead, one doesn"t know what may have happened to the boy!
Mrs. Penn had friends and relatives, but would they be likely to look after him? That"s what I have said to Andrew a dozen times at least."
She took off her spectacles with fingers that trembled a little, and put her work into an old-fashioned basket with a crimson lining. Elsie had gentle ways with old people, knowing instinctively how to soothe them with touch and voice. She poured out tea, and hovered round Mrs. Beaton with little attentions which were like caresses.
Andrew, coming in with his quiet step, gave Miss Kilner a look and a word of grat.i.tude.
If you set out to do a good deed, you may do a hundred small kindnesses on the way. Elsie"s quest seemed very likely to prove fruitless, but in the seeking she was scattering flowers as she went along. Andrew, who sometimes found his life sadly commonplace, picked up a blossom or two, and wore them thankfully. The street, the shop, and the parlour were all touched and beautified by these little graces which a woman like Elsie bestows spontaneously.
It was a pleasant tea-drinking in the London parlour, although the sun could send in only a slanting beam or two.
They had, all three, talked themselves into a hopeful mood. In their brightened fancy Jamie was already found, and they were beginning to arrange his future destiny. Elsie proceeded to state her views on the education of boys; but, as she had never had any boys to educate, those views were rather vague. Mrs. Beaton expressed a wish that he could be turned into a blue-coat boy; his curly golden head was so pretty that it was almost a sin to cover it with a cap, and he would soon grow used to being without one. Andrew hoped that he wouldn"t be spoiled, and made into a milksop, and suggested that he ought to be taught a useful trade as soon as possible.
Elsie had other ideas; she wanted him to be sent to college.
Mrs. Beaton said it would be a shame to set him to work too early; he was only a little more than five years old. Both women thought that Andrew was too severe in his notions about boys.
Andrew thought that many a good lad was spoilt because he had lacked a man"s control.
Elsie thought that many a dear little fellow was half-brutalised because he had lacked a woman"s influence.
Mrs. Beaton then felt that it was her turn to make a remark, but no one ever heard the words of wisdom which were about to issue from her lips.
Quite suddenly, with unusual noise, the parlour door was flung open, and a woman rushed into the room.
Andrew started to his feet. Elsie, who had just taken up the teapot, set it down again upon the table. Mrs. Beaton pushed back her cap-ribbons with both hands, and uttered a little shriek.
"It"s Mrs. Penn!" she cried. "Oh, Mrs. Penn, it is you, isn"t it? And you"re gone clean out of your mind, aren"t you? Oh, dear! oh, dear!"
"Yes," answered the intruder distractedly, "it is me. And I"m gone clean out of my mind."
"We don"t want you without your mind," said Andrew, grown suddenly discourteous. "If you are mad you ought not to have come. Don"t you see that you have given my mother a terrible shock?"
"Don"t be unkind, Mr. Beaton!" exclaimed Elsie, in a tone of reproof.
"Of course Mrs. Penn has come to bring us some news. Oh, Mrs. Penn," she added, losing dignity and self-control all at once, "do speak one word and tell us what has become of Jamie!"
For a moment it seemed as if Mrs. Penn had no power to comply with this simple request. She stood gaping at them all; then, suddenly flinging up her hands with a despairing gesture, she panted out, "Lost!"
Mrs. Beaton sank back in her chair with eyes closed. Andrew bent over his mother, holding a smelling-bottle to her nostrils, and murmuring rea.s.suring words. Elsie was very pale.
The old lady recovered herself, sat up, and said, rather feebly, that there was nothing the matter. Andrew, somewhat relieved, darted an angry glance at Mrs. Penn.
"Pray sit down, Mrs. Penn," he said, "and let me beg you to be composed.
Perhaps a cup of tea may steady your nerves."
Elsie poured out the tea at once, and handed it kindly to the poor shaken woman, whose distress was very genuine.
"The _Daily Telegraph_ told me to come here. That"s why I came," she whimpered at last. "But no one seems glad to see me," she added tearfully.
Andrew felt a pang of self-reproach.
"We are very glad," he said promptly. "If I was rude I hope you will pardon me. But mother can"t stand a shock, and you came upon us rather suddenly, you see."
"I"m so unhappy," poor Mrs. Penn replied. "I daresay I don"t seem a bit like myself. I lost him nine weeks ago."
Elsie gave a little exclamation of dismay. Had the guidance of the vanished hand led only to a disappointment like this?
"I wish you had told us sooner," said Andrew, trying to suppress his indignation.
"The weeks have gone by like a whirlwind, and my head"s been in a mist ever since I lost him," Mrs. Penn declared, wiping her eyes.
"Are you sure that your head wasn"t in a mist before you lost him?"
asked Mrs. Beaton, with unwonted sternness.
Something in the tone of the questioner led Elsie to examine Mrs. Penn with closer attention. She was a woman of sixty, who had evidently been healthy and active in her earlier days, and ought to have been strong and capable still. But there was a redness of the eyes, and a certain pink puffiness of the whole countenance which had a suspicious look.
"My health hasn"t been good lately," she said, in her whimpering voice.