Chapter 169 Jianan, I Love You (1)
In the large single room, only Su Jianan stayed.
She bit her finger and sat on the bed, feeling unsure like never before.
Thinking about what Su Yicheng said, she got the feeling that Lu Boyan still cared about her.
In this case, why did he do that before? First, she ignored her, and then quarreled with her for no reason whatsoever. He agreed to divorce and told her to go right away… He looked like he couldn’t wait for her to go as far as possible.
She once suspected that she had done something wrong, or upset him in the past, so she swallowed her pride to ask him, but he gave a bitter reply.
Since he didn’t want to see her again, why did he bother to come to her?
“Mr. Lu stayed beside your bed until it was past three o’clock in the morning. He has been soaking a towel to help you cool down the entire time, and then he wiped the sweat on your forehead and fed you with water. It was the first time I’ve ever seen a man so thoughtful…”
The nurse’s words suddenly came to Su Jianan’s mind, and her mind turned even more chaotic. She buried her head on her knees and held her hands tightly on the back of her head, like an ostrich that ran away from reality.
At this time, the door of the ward was pushed open, and the familiar footsteps were getting closer…
Su Jianan’s body suddenly froze, and she suddenly wanted to maintain this position, never looked up, and never faced the reality.
Lu Boyan did not give her such an opportunity.
He went to the bedside and called her. “Jianan.”
Perhaps because of having stayed up the previous night, his voice was a little hoa.r.s.e.
Su Jianan remembered that when she woke up in the morning, Lu Boyan’s first action was to feel the temperature on her forehead.
When he placed his warm and dry palm on her forehead, she found out that she was especially missing the feeling of being taken care of.
That was a feeling completely different from receiving Su Yicheng’s care. Su Yicheng’s care made her feel warm, while Lu Boyan’s care brought her a subtle sweetness and satisfaction.
When she left home that morning, she thought she could calmly accept the facts and face the divorce. Just as she had promised herself before the marriage, she must not be greedy because once in the matrimony with Lu Boyan was enough.
Now she knew that she was greedy and wanted more.
After only half a year, Lu Boyan had made her develop too many bad habits. She had become very dependent on him. When she encountered difficulties, she wanted him to stay with her. She wanted to share the joys and sorrows in life and work with him. She even wanted to share the rest of her life with him.
But before she got married, she wanted independence. She wanted a life as if she were not married yet, and she would never bother Lu Yanyan, lest he should be bored of her.
It turned out that she overestimated herself.
Su Yicheng was right because she must face and solve this matter in the end.
Thinking of this, Su Jianan finally looked up to Lu Boyan.
She wanted to smile and say h.e.l.lo to Lu Boyan as if nothing had happened.
But she couldn’t do it. Lu Boyan’s eyes were so deep and complicated that they seemed to hide thousands of emotions she could not understand.
She couldn’t smile or tell a single word. She just remembered the lightning and thunder on the mountain, and the moment she fell off the steep slope…
She thought that she could no longer see Lu Boyan, and she could not tell Lu Boyan that she loved him anymore.
At that time, because of Lu Boyan, she had such a strong desire to survive. She wanted to survive and tell Lu Boyan everything, but now when Lu Boyan was right in front of her, she could not say a word.
She was afraid to see Lu Boyan’s condescending expression, fearing that he would not care about the feeling that she had hidden for more than 10 years.
Out of nowhere, Su Jianan suddenly felt wronged and wanted to cry.
Lu Boyan watched her long thick eyelashes fluttering gently, his heart trembled slightly, and he reached out and stroked Su Jianan’s cheek…
Su Jianan felt the temperature of his palm so familiar, and his movements were so cautious, just like when he used to hold her cheek to kiss her.
Her eyes suddenly became warm, she blinked subconsciously and cast down her eyes to hide the layer of mist on her eyes.
She pushed away Lu Boyan’s hands to show that she was still angry with him. “Go away, don’t touch me!”
Lu Boyan grabbed her shoulders and took her into his arms. She couldn’t even react, let alone refuse him.
Su Jianan was taken into Lu Boyan’s arms deeply.
In her memory, Lu Boyan never held her so hard, as if she would disappear in the next second and only in this way could he make her stay.
“Jianan, I am sorry.” Lu Boyan apologized, perhaps because of the hoa.r.s.eness, his voice sounded even lower than usual. “I should not drive you away, and let you come to this dangerous place.”
“…” Su Jianan’s eyes turned sore.
She had not seen Lu Boyan so humble. He was a big shot in the business circle and no one rejected to what he said. People would only follow his will. When had he apologized to others like this?
However, she really came here and almost died because of him.
“Chen Xuanxuan followed you and took those photos. I know that nothing happened between you and Jiang Shaokai that night.” He said.
“But you still didn’t trust me?” Su Jianan was really angry and tried hard to push Lu Boyan away. “Are you waiting for me to admit that I like Jiang Shaokai and use that excuse to divorce me?” Even if I didn’t propose a divorce that night, you would still do it yourself in a few days, right? Lu Boyan, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d!
“How much do you really hate me? How tired are you of our fake marriage so you let Shen Yuechuan make such a lame excuse about going out of the way to me? When I proposed a divorce, you must be very happy, right?”
The more she said, the more wronged she felt. Su Jianan’s eyes became redder and redder, but she just didn’t let her tears fall. She played tough and rubbed her eyes again and again until the corner of her eyes turned red as well.
Lu Boyan clung to her hand and did not let it go no matter how hard she tried to break free from him. He said, “Jianan, I can explain that.”
Su Jianan looked at him with a pair of red eyes. “I have asked you many times. Did I do something wrong to make your act so weird? But you didn’t say anything, you just quarreled with me, said that I had another man, and drove me away… Are you finally willing to tell me now?”
She smiled and instantly turned into the unyielding heroine of some soap opera. “I don’t want you to explain!”
When she finished, she again tried to get rid of Lu Boyan’s hand. However, Lu Boyan would not let her, so she had to try harder. In the end, she found that her sleeves were stained with blood.
It was scarlet red and undried blood. It could not have belonged to her.
She grabbed Lu Boyan’s hand to see it. As expected, his palm had been cut and had been cut at more than one place. Some of them were deep and some shallow, some were long and some short. Blood was oozing out of his palm.
“How did you get hurt?” She finally stopped struggling and just calmly looked at Lu Boyan and asked, “Why are you hurt?”
Lu Boyan did not care about her problem and raised his lips slightly. “Jianan, you still care about me, right?”
Go to h.e.l.l!
Su Jianan pushed away Lu Boyan to show her anger. However, he soon grasped her hand again and hurriedly added, “If you listen to me explaining, I will tell you how I got hurt.”
Su Jianan compromised a little. “You have to deal with the wound first.”
“No, I don’t.” Lu Boyan suddenly became as stubborn as a child. “Jianan, there are some things that I should have told you long ago.”
He looked a bit strange and Su Jianan wrinkled her pretty brows. “What do you want to say to me?”
Considering for a moment, Lu Boyan finally answered in a low voice, “Jianan, on the first day of our marriage, I knew that you had someone in your heart.”
“…” Su Jianan’s heartbeat suddenly missed a beat. She stared at Lu Boyan unconsciously and tensely, and she was afraid that Lu Boyan’s following words would reveal the biggest secret in her heart.
“I thought you loved Jiang Shaokai.” Lu Boyan’s smile on his lips looked more like a self-deprecation one. “During the past six to seven years, except for your brother, Jiang Shaokai has been the only man around you. So, I thought that the person you love is him.”
“…” Su Jianan commented in her heart. Who said that you could only love a man around you?
“Do you still remember the night before we got the marriage certificate, I told you that our marriage lasted only two years? You looked happy at that time. Later, you always talked about divorce sometimes and reminded me again and again that we would divorce two years later.” Lu Boyan looked at Su Jianan, and his deep eyes grew cold. “Jianan, do you know that for several times, I almost could not control myself to choke you?”
“…” Su Jianan rubbed her neck, unconsciously drew herself away from Lu Boyan—He was abusive, and now she knew that.
“Some things happened a few days ago and I lost confidence in our marriage. You asked me why I became so strange, it’s not that I didn’t want to answer you, but I couldn’t.”
Or, Lu Boyan could not answer Su Jianan for the time being.
“So that’s why you suddenly asked me if I loved Jiang Shaokai that night?”
“The night before, Jiang Shaokai sent you back. You were drunk and told me not to touch you, and you said that Jiang Shaokai could. The next day I received your photo at the door of the bar. Chen Xuanxuan got the right angle. In the photo, you and Jiang Shaokai looked like an intimate couple.” He looked at Su Jianan and said one word at a time, “Jianan, I was only jealousy of him.”
Su Jianan, as if she couldn’t understand Lu Boyan’s words, looked at him dazed.
A few seconds later, after she made sure that she had not misheard him, her heart raced unprecedentedly fast, as if it were about to jump out of her chest.
In the past, she also teased Lu Boyan with a similar question, wait? Husband, did you feel jealous because of me?
Every time Lu Boyan would admit straightforwardly and ask her what to do in a meaningful way. “I am jealous, what are you going to do?”
She only took this as a verbal war between them. She wanted to make things difficult for Lu Boyan, then, he also did not accept defeat and threw the hot potato back to her.
She never thought that Lu Boyan was telling the truth, and never dared to think that Lu Boyan would be jealous because of her.
However, every time she brought up Jiang Shaokai’s name, intentionally or unintentionally, Lu Boyan indeed would become unhappy. Last time in the supermarket, he was even so childish as to stop her from buying snacks that Jiang Shaokai liked.
In fact, if she thought about it carefully, she would find those signs way earlier.
But she had no confidence in herself, even now when he had told her in person, she still had to confirm what she heard—
“You…” Her voice was full of uncertainty, and her heart rate now was almost an odometer breaker. “Why do you have to envy Jiang Shaokai?” You know that there’s nothing between us.”
“Even so, I still envy him.” Lu Boyan said, “During the four years in college, you started to understand a lot of things. But the person beside you was him. You took cla.s.ses and done experiments together, and even had meals together.”
Su Jianan’s eyes slowly became doubtful. “How do you know so clearly? When I was in college, you were still abroad.”
“But I knew everything that happened to you at home.” Lu Boyan was not joking.
“You had someone watched over me.” Su Jianan shook her head in disbelief. “Why did you do that?”
“Jianan.” Lu Boyan looked at Su Jianan, and word by word, he uttered clearly, “I love you.”