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THIS CHAPTER IS WRITTEN IN 3RD PERSON POINT OF VIEW
Allen sat on a long chair made of old wood. Irritated, he sternly combed his hair with his hands.
He"s p.i.s.sed off with himself. Why couldn"t he be a sweet husband to her? Simply letting her take medication already gave him a hard time. He even hurled the medicine box towards her when he could"ve just handed it to her nicely. For him, their situation has been a tough row to hoe. He really didn"t know how to live through.
Sometimes he wants to take care of Vanessa, but it is slim and none that he could show her some concern. Because every time he looks at her, he could only antic.i.p.ate the unfaithfulness of his wife. This is also the reason why he couldn"t look into Vannie"s eyes straight - it"s not only because he feels uncomfortable, but because he might lose control of himself and hurt her again. He"s trying to hold it back, but every time Vannie adds up to her mistake, he automatically blacks out. The past harks back unto him that he couldn"t stop himself from battering his wife down.
Maybe it has already been a year ago, but for Allen, it seems just a recent turn of events – he can"t move on. Because every pa.s.sing day that he sees his wife, everything that happened gets down to bra.s.s tacks. The past torments him, even to his dreams. He feels like he"d lose sanity! It"s a good thing that at dawn, Vanessa isn"t awakened by his nightmares and half-sleeps. It haunts him like crazy! And it kills him!
He wants to show his wife compa.s.sion, but he could not. Because for him, what he"s suffering from is all the worse – he was betrayed! He thought that it"s okay that Zian double-crossed the line - he, who"s been his friend for almost five years. He can forget about that. But to be betrayed by his own wife? That"s a different story. What"s even worse is that his ego was hurt! He seems to feel so little of himself, thinking that somehow, he could have come short. Maybe he"s the one at fault.
He completely understands Vanessa – she wanted to be loved. He"s actually working on his feelings towards Vannie even if he has not fully gotten over with Lauren yet. All he"s asking, is for Vanessa to wait. Is that too much to ask? The truth is, Vanessa isn"t difficult to love – she"s kind and caring. But Allen wants to be sure of his feelings before he would show Vannie some affection. He wants to move on and forget everything about his past relations.h.i.+p first, because he doesn"t want to hurt and give Vanessa false hope.
He has already fallen in love, but he thinks it"s already too late.
***
One cold night some time in December, he was waiting for Vanessa to come home. He didn"t know where she was as she didn"t tell him where she would go. He also never asked his wife about her plans, because for him, she had her personal life and he should stay out of it. Moreover, he trusted his wife big time. Before.
Everything stalled clear in his memory.
It was already dawn, but Vanessa wasn"t home yet. He called Leila for several times to check, but she also didn"t know where Vannie was. He decided to go to Zian"s place that time for some beer, as it looked like Vanessa wasn"t coming home that night.
BULLSH*T!
It was the most rattling decision he ever made. He saw it in his own eyes! He saw his wife on the bed with his friend. They were both naked. What"s worse? Vanessa was the one on top.
It felt like his whole being had fallen apart to what he saw. He didn"t expect to feel such an extreme kind of pain. T"was severe! He blacked out. The demon must have taken over him when he went towards Zian and beat him to death. s.h.i.+t, he wanted to kill him! He wanted to break his bones into pieces and to smash his face intensely until n.o.body could recognize him anymore.
He didn"t stop beating his friend. He also didn"t hear the loud screams of Vanessa. He totally lost control of himself at that time. He wouldn"t stop until Zian"s not dead. d.a.m.n it, he couldn"t accept what happened. It felt like the whole world went against him! He looked like a fool. He didn"t know a single d.a.m.n thing! He trusted his wife. He trusted his friend! Just because he couldn"t fall in love with Vanessa that easily, she already decided to betray him? That"s not fair. No words were ever enough to describe how hurt Allen"s ego was… and until now.
The woman he married, who he respected, was screwed by another man.
That night, he didn"t know how they managed to go home. That was the first time he hit his wife. He slapped her on the face and banged her all night. He was so lost that he didn"t know what he was doing.
The anger in his heart flew off the handle. He"s really quite unsure if there was still room for mercy, forgiveness, and love. He wanted to show Vanessa that he"s better; way, way better than Zian. He wanted his wife to know that if it"s only s.e.x that she wanted, f.u.c.k, he could do better! His admiration for her lowered at the boom – he lost all respect for her. He couldn"t believe that such an innocent soul from a n.o.ble and wealthy family could do such a thing. She"s nothing but a s.l.u.t, a b.i.t.c.h, and a bed warmer.
He attempted to leave her several times, but he couldn"t do it because they"re married. Deep inside, he doesn"t want to put an end on their relations.h.i.+p just like that. Besides, even if he doesn"t show it, Vanessa has a special place in his heart. She has become a part of him. If he"d lose her, he won"t feel complete, like there"s something missing.
***
“Allen…”
He was suddenly brought back to the reality when he felt Vanessa"s presence behind him. He turned around to look at her. She has already dressed up in a rose-colored underwear – the color suits her perfectly. It boosted up her light complexion. Then, his eyes lowered down to the medicine box she was holding.
“Come here. Let me treat your wounds.” Vanessa said.
He didn"t say a word. He just s.h.i.+fted his gaze in front of him as he pulled another cigarette stick and lighted it. He puffed smoke as if Vanessa wasn"t anywhere near. His wife sat beside him, but he chose not to mind her.
“Let me see…” Vanessa reached for his face, but he fended her hand off. “Tsk! What the h.e.l.l! Can"t you see I"m smoking?!” He said as he raised the cigarette he was holding.
“How can I cure your wounds if you won"t show them to me?” His wife reasoned out. He looked at her fiercely before he responded, “Did I tell you to cure them? Just leave! I don"t want you here!” He snapped. He was beginning to lose his temper again.
He heard his wife sigh very deeply. It surprised him when she stood up and was ready to leave. He pulled her hand to stop her, “Van…” He took a deep breath. “Fine! Treat my wounds.” He gave up, and then he threw the cigarette away outside the balcony. He felt upset as he has not puffed the stick even to half.
He watched his wife as she poured on the medication to the cotton ball. He can"t avoid to notice her angelic face – his wife is beautiful. Men would easily take interest in her. Her face looks so innocent, as if she could never go mad.
Vanessa lifted her head up and their eyes met. He immediately avoided her gaze. “Tsk, make it fast, will you?!” He took the pungent vibe that he felt into snapping.
“O-ouch!” He warded his face off the cotton ball as it dumped onto one of his wounds. “d.a.m.n it, do it slowly!” He complained.
Vanessa immediately blew off his wound, “S-sorry… Please stop cursing me.” And then she slowly dumped the cotton ball on Allen"s wounds. His wife has become light-handed and gentle, so he didn"t feel any pain anymore as she cured him.
A couple of minutes already pa.s.sed, so he started to feel impatient. He also felt uncomfortable as their faces were so close to each other. He can"t help it - he"s feeling lascivious of his wife"s red lips. He"s been looking at them for a long time and Vanessa might have noticed it already. There"s a part of his mind which tells him to kiss her.
“Tsk, is it done yet?” He said in defense when Vanessa caught him looking at her.
“I will be done soon. You have so many bruises.” She responded right away.
“Blame your other man!” He said as he rolled his eyes.
He quietly looked at Vanessa and she showed no reaction to what he said. She just remained silent. Then again, jealousy hit him. He never felt envious like that before, even if some men would check her wife out. But he couldn"t understand why now, he already ticks off on just hearing Vannie"s cellphone ring.
“Why didn"t you fight back?” Vanessa asked in a casual manner.
He couldn"t answer. Everything that Zian told him in the parking lot came back to him.
***
Zian told him about his past with Vanessa – how she loved him so tenderly, how she was so kind and caring, and how she took care of him sweetly.
Instead of fighting back, Allen felt like he was knocked by the Antarctic ice sideways. Jealousy and greed consumed his whole being - all because he was the one who"s supposed to experience all those attention and treatment from Vanessa. He has grown sick and tired of the things that he"s enduring. It felt like killing Zian wouldn"t be enough.
He felt hatred all the more when Zian said that he"d marry Vannie if there would be a chance. d.a.m.n it! He was broken into pieces! He didn"t know how to handle and who to blame all the pain he"s been keeping inside – Zian or his wife.
***
“It"s done.”
Then he turned his eyes to Vanessa. He breathed deeply and said, “Good.”
He moved his face away and lighted out another cigarette stick. He thought Vanessa would be going back inside, but no, she stayed sitting down beside him. He felt conscious and awkward that he wanted to tell her to leave.
“Allen…” After quite a while of being silent, his wife called him.
He puffed a smoke before he responded. “What?”
“U-uhm… About yester–”
“Stop.” He interrupted, not letting his wife finish. He already knew what she was going to say.
“Not now, Vanessa. I don"t want to talk about it. I"m already fed up. Please let me take a break from everything.” He said.
He didn"t hear a word from Vannie aside from breathing deeply several times.
“Allen…” She called his attention again.
“Tsk, I SAID I DON"T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT VANESSA!“
“No, I-it"s not that.” She wearily responded.
He lifted his head up to breathe properly. “Then what?”
“Allen…
…I"m leaving.”
He stiffened at his seat. His senses got him to stop smoking as he was startled. He s.h.i.+fted his eyes to Vanessa. Did he hear it correctly? His wife"s leaving?
“W-what?!” He haltingly asked.
He watched his wife lean on the chair and breathed deeply, as if she was having a very difficult time in telling him what she wanted to say.
“Uhm… I will be going home. I want to celebrate my birthday there. I plan to invite my old friends because I really miss them already. Also… Uhm… I want to stay with Mom first.”
Allen could do nothing but bow his head down – he felt down in the dumps. He didn"t even notice that the cigarette he was holding already fell off the floor. He felt extremely frustrated. He"s hurt. Why does it look like his wife wasn"t asking for permission? It seems like everything is already planned out.
One more thing that added up to his grief was the fact that Vanessa wanted to celebrate her birthday in the residence of the Perez. Doesn"t she want to be with him on her birthday? She said that she is planning to invite her old friends. Does it mean that she wants to be with them more than she wants to stay with him?
He irately stood up from where he was sitting. “Fine! It"s you call! That"s what you really want, don"t you?!” He said in a brave front.
He went back inside and left his wife on the balcony. He buried himself on the bed. He"s upset! He feels like his wife doesn"t care about him, like she didn"t even ask if he has some plans for her upcoming birthday. She wants to be with her friends instead of celebrating with him. Tsk! And then again, jealousy hit him. Something"s weird; it beats him, but he wants Vanessa all for himself - all of her time and attention solely for him.
Then, he noticed Vanessa pa.s.sing by. He quietly looked at her as she headed towards the door to go outside the room. Dam it, all the more that he felt distressed! His wife didn"t even mind him - she just went outside straight. She didn"t even ask him again if he agrees on her plan about celebrating her birthday on the mansion of the Perez.
He got up from the bed and sat on the edge of it. He stroked his hair into a slovenly mess. What"s up with his wife?! She doesn"t care about him. The last time he checked, Vanessa is still his slave! Then his eyes locked on the medicine box on the floor. He suddenly thought of something. He didn"t like it, but he wanted to give it a try.
He stood up and picked the medicine box up, and then he went downstairs to the kitchen. He saw Vanessa slicing off the onions. She was about to cook some food. He tried to act normally and went straight to the fridge to get some water. Then, he came near his wife.
“T-take this.” He ordered as he extended his palm with a medicine on it, and then he handed her the gla.s.s of water.
He looked in a different direction when he noticed his wife staring at him. Maybe she was in complete surprise to what he did. She didn"t say a word and just reached over and took the medicine and gla.s.s of water from him.
He shoved off all second thoughts and embraced Vanessa from behind - just as how he planned it. He felt that his wife stiffened, maybe because she was stunned. But he didn"t mind. He buried his face on Vannie"s neck. He could perfectly smell her sweet scent - she smelled like a baby. Then, he buried his face much deeper.
“Van…
…I want you to spend your birthday with me.“
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