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I reached over and shut the ringing alarm clock off.
I was already awake but I could not get up. I feel weak. As usual, Allen did not let me sleep last night, we had a couple of rounds.
As a matter of fact, I"m getting used to it. Allen is a monster on bed. We do it almost every night, every morning, or anytime he wants to. Sometimes, my body already gets worn out. I do not have the same strength as he does – he can just throw me onto the bed, put me to a bending position, and lift me up above him without any difficulty.
I can"t really say that he"s forcing me to do it, because most of the time, I like it, too. G.o.d knows how much I love this man lying beside me. And if that"s the only way I can feel that he needs me, I"d do it slick as a whistle.
I peeked at him beside me - he"s sleeping like a baby. It is obvious that he"s wagged out, too. I covered myself with the blanket and lifted myself up to see him more clearly. His thin, pinkish lips are slightly opened.
My husband is really handsome, especially when he"s asleep - well, that"s the only time he"s not angry. Whenever he"s in a black mood or drunk in alcohol, he would look scary. I miss the old him, especially his bright face, even if he shows no reaction at all, at least he"s not flaring up.
Suddenly, I stiffened when he slightly opened his eyes. He looked at me for a second before he turned his eyes away from me. “What are you looking at?”
I just dropped my gaze and returned to bed. He seems to be irritated with me again. When the wrinkles on his forehead softened and he seemed to be sleeping again, I turned sideways and hugged him.
I rested my head on his firm chest and listened to his heartbeat. I checked if he will push me away like he always does when I embrace him, but surprisingly, he did not; he stayed still. Maybe he"s too tired that he had no energy to push me away. So, I decided to use this opportunity to hug him longer. I can"t do this when he"s awake.
I just kept my arms around him until I realized that I needed to get up to prepare him some breakfast. I slowly got up from bed so I would not wake him up and sat on the bedside for a while. My legs were aching, but I had to move. I picked up our clothes which were scattered on the floor, and then went to the bathroom to take a bath.
“Vannie, help me on this.”
I stopped was.h.i.+ng the dishes and went towards Allen to help him fix his necktie. He seems to be in good mood now because he called me in my nickname. Perhaps he had a good sleep.
“What do you want to eat later?” I asked him while I"m fixing his necktie. “I"ll cook.”
“I will not be having dinner here.”
I suddenly felt sad. He always doesn"t join me in meals. “Why?”
“I have a dinner meeting.”
“I see. What time will you be coming home?”
“I don"t know. And please, can you stop asking questions?!”
I just kept my mouth shut and didn"t speak anymore. I finished fixing his tie and ironed out some wrinkled pleats on his long-sleeved polo with my hands. I felt that he was staring at me as I stroked my hands on his sleeves. I know my husband well. I know what his looks mean and I know that he"s planning to do something again.
And I was right.
He pulled my hair upright, which made me look up. He buried his face to my neck and started kissing and sucking that part. Before I can push him away, he has already carried me to sit on the dresser. He has quickly pulled me out of my clothes. He grasped my right breast with one hand.
“Allen, you are going to be late.” I reminded him to stop him from what he was doing.
“Just shut up. You"re my slave remember?”
I just closed my eyes hard and allowed him to do what he wanted.
I"m getting my clothes on while Allen was rus.h.i.+ng to b.u.t.ton up his polo.
I approached him to help close the b.u.t.tons of his polo because he"s already going to be late for work, but he just shook my hands and shaved me off.
“I will do it. Just bring my laptop to the car.”
I just obeyed. I took the laptop bag from his work desk and headed onto the car. Just after a while, he has also gone outside the house. I waited for him beside his car. I wanted to make sure he"s all set to leave.
I noticed that he looked uneasy fixing his necktie as he walked near the car. I just felt pity on him. This big man doesn"t know how to fix his necktie properly.
“Let me do it.” I said.
He let me do it and then suddenly looked up. “Make it fast. I"m already late.” He frowned again.
I nodded and immediately fixed his necktie. He"s starting to be impatient again, as if it"s my fault why he"s almost late – obviously, it"s his! I reminded him a couple of times that he might be late for work, but he just won"t listen, and instead, he just continued to what he wanted.
“Please be careful on your driving.” I reminded him while I"m fixing his polo - yes, it appeared to be crumpled again. He seemed to be in a hurry to wear it that he didn"t notice the slight pleats on its sleeves.
He pushed my hands away on the fret, “Of course I will.”
Then, he opened the car door and reminded me, “Do not leave the house. And do not let anyone come in.”
I just bowed down. Every morning, he always says that. It has already even nailed down in my head, including the strict tone of his voice. There wouldn"t be any change, would there? When will he kiss me on the forehead and tell me "I love you" before he goes to work?
I watched him as he left. I even waved him goodbye, but I am not sure if he saw it. Or maybe he did, but he just really didn"t care about it. As soon as his car turned on the street corner, I immediately returned back inside the gate.
“Vanessa…”
I was stunned for a few seconds. It"s impossible that it was Allen who called me because he already left. I turned around. I found my eyes staring at a familiar man standing outside our house. I want to tell myself that I was just hallucinating, but no.
It"s really him!
I know him well, even if he looks a bit mature now and even if he grew a beard on the side of his face. His shoulders also got broader, but his aura remained the same. I felt like being knocked down by a feather! What is he doing here?!
I was about to close the gate right at that instant so he could not enter, but he deemed strong and he was able to push it open. I stepped backwards, but he pulled my waist towards him and embraced me tightly. My whole body literally stiffened. I felt gooseb.u.mps!
I softly peeked outside to make sure that Allen is not anywhere around. Then, I used all my energy to push him away but he didn"t let go of me.
“Zian!” I was in panic, “What do you think you"re doing? Why are you here?!”
He suddenly separated me from him, but remained holding me on my shoulders. He gave me a confused look and said, “That"s not the reaction I expect from you. Are you not happy to see me?”
I was stunned to his question that I wasn"t able to answer; I just frowned. Happy? How can I be happy if the man in front of me now is the reason my husband is angrier than a one armed paper hanger?
“What are you doing here? And how did you know where I live?” I changed the topic. I guess I don"t need to answer his question. I just want to know what he"s doing here and how he knew where we live.
“That"s not important. Come with me. I"ll take you away from here.”
“W-what? are you crazy?!”
After that happening, Zian and I never met and talked again. We"ve lost connection with each other. I already forgot about him. Based from what I know, he already went to America after he was released from a two-week imprisonment. Then all of a sudden, he would appear here in front of our house telling me to come with him? It has already been a year! Why did he suddenly turn up now?
I"m upset. He"s putting the situation in dire straits. I"m working my way to gain my husband"s trust and love back. But now that he showed up again, our situation will be worse.
“I know your situation with Allen. I know that he"s hurting you, so come with me now, Vannie.”
What he said wasn"t an offer – it was a demand. Why does he sound so sure that I will come with him?
I removed his grip on me. “What are you talking about? Allen is not hurting me. We"re living happily together!”
“Come on, you don"t need to make stories, Vannie. Leila told me everything.”
I tsk-ed in dismay. I regret telling my cousin everything. I know that she could be a blabbermouth – she may even be the responsible person for telling Zian where we live. How could she! Of all people, why tell Zian! As if she didn"t know what happened.
I was surprised when Zian suddenly pulled me to go out of the gate, “Let"s go.”
I gripped my free hand on the bars so he couldn"t pull me out straight. “No, no, Zian! I will not leave with you! I don"t know what Leila told you, but no, I won"t come with you! So please…” I pushed him away, “Get out of here, my husband might see you!”
“I won"t leave without you Vanessa. I"ve been enduring this for too long – trying to give this the silent treatment and not interfere. But I can no longer take the fact of him, hurting you. That a.s.shole! You don"t deserve that kind of man.”
“What are you saying?! I told you that he is not hurting me! Get out of here, please! I"m begging you!"
“Then how would you explain that?” He pointed on the bruise on the side of my lip.
I know that I"m already caught, but I still tried to lie. I dumped his finger and said, “That"s nothing.”
“Ugh, Vanessa!” He bobbled his hair, showing me much annoyance.
“If only I knew that this is what he would do to you, I wouldn"t have let you go back to him.”
My senses got me to step back as he moved his body closer to mine. “And didn"t you miss me? Because I really missed you so much.”
Before I could even answer, he has already gotten hold of my face and touched my lips.
One person immediately entered my brain – Allen.
He"ll surely kill me when he finds out! I wanted to push Zian away! I swear I wanted to! But my body was stunned, especially when his mouth started moving. From being bulged, I just found myself shutting off my eyes tight-lipped. G.o.d, why is he doing this!
I panicked when I heard the sound of an approaching vehicle.
NO, NO, this can"t be happening! Tears started gleaming around my eyes as I felt so afraid and anxious. I can feel my heart beating so fast! I know who is coming. We are the only ones who live in this street. G.o.d, I"m scared. I"m scared of what my husband could do to Zian… And to me.
Everything happened so fast! It was a bolt from the blue seeing Zian gone in front of me and already lying helplessly on the road with blood on his lips.
“Allen, no! Stop!” I ran towards Allen to stop him before he could smash Zian"s face again, but he just pulled his arm back and pushed me away. “What? Will you defend this man again, huh?!” He shouted at me. I was taken aback because his eyes were fuming in anger. He scared me out of my wits!
Then, he turned back to Zian and kicked him right on his core. My senses only got me to cover my mouth. It"s like everything flashed back. It was almost the same to what he did when he caught Zian and I in the act before.
He pulled Zian on his collar and then straight up, “YOU, SON OF A b.i.t.c.h! YOU ARE SUCH A THICK FACE SHOWING UP HERE AGAIN! WHEN WILL YOU LEAVE MY WIFE ALONE?!"
Zian spitted blood once and then glanced fiercely at Allen. “Never. And I"ll make sure that this time, I"d take her away from you!”
Because of that, Allen got triggered and punched Zian again. I clenched my hair and sat on the floor. Oh, come on, Zian! Why do you need to shoot back?!
“YOU, SON OF A b.i.t.c.h! I WILL KILL YOU!” Allen yelled as he was over Zian, continuously smas.h.i.+ng him all over his face.
I ran towards them and pulled Allen away before he could skin Zian alive.
“ZIAN, PLEASE! GET OUT OF HERE!” I begged, not because I"m taking his side or something, but because I"m just afraid of what my husband was capable of doing. Allen was going off the deep end. I can feel his entire body trembling and his eyes also already turned red.
Good thing Zian conformed to what I said. He almost crawled back to his car that was parked in front of our house. I am so worried! I wanted to see him leave just to make sure he could still drive properly, but Allen took hold of my hair and pulled me into the house.
He shut the door and my expectations transpired – his palm flashed onto my cheek. I hurled down the couch because of his stern slap. My tears even spontaneously stopped from dripping. I turned blank and stunned to what happened.
He bunted all the throw pillows and kicked the center table in full strength. All the gla.s.ses shattered into pieces, including a huge vase and some figurines placed there. I covered my ears to the intensity of its noise. I felt my chest tighten up. I started feeling dreadful that I had to breathe through my mouth as I felt like I"m running out of air.
Allen yelled in anger and wobbly sat on the chair. He grasped his hair. I can see his arms shaking, like he is going to explode soon. I can also hear him catching his breath.
“Bulls.h.i.+t! I REALLY DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO YOU ANYMORE, VANESSA! WHY ARE YOU NOT FOLLOWING MY ORDERS?” He asked, foaming at the mouth.
I gathered all my strength, ran to him, and knelt before him. I want to explain to him what really happened and I know that he will understand everything after knowing the truth.
I held his hands, “Allen I swear, I do not really know how he knew where we live.”
I know that it"s definitely the big question puzzling him now. How has Zian come here? We immediately moved to another city after that incident. No one else knows where we live except for our families. And I know that it"s Leila who told Zian where we live.
I waited for his response, but he just stared on another direction. I can still see on his face how mad he was. “Please, believe me this time.” I added.
He suddenly s.h.i.+fted his gaze on me. His eyes were filled with anger and hatred. He pulled me on the arm upright. “HOW COULD I BELIEVE YOU IF WHAT YOU ONLY KNOW IS TO CHEAT ON ME?!”
I looked down and bowed my head, and my tears started falling again. I thought… I thought he"d understand.
“NOW TELL ME THE TRUTH, VANESSA…” He squeezed my arm more tightly. I yelled and tried to break from his grip because of the pain, as if I was going to have another bruise.
"HAS THAT MOTHERf.u.c.kER ALWAYS BEEN HERE IN OUR HOUSE WHENEVER I"M NOT AROUND?! AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING, HUH?!"
“W-what? No! In fact, I was surprised to see him earlier.”
He grasped my arm even tighter. “Allen, please stop! You"re hurting me!”
“YES, I WILL REALLY HURT YOU! YOU"RE REALLY A b.i.t.c.h! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WILL RUN OUT OF MEN! AND YOU TWO WERE EVEN KISSING ON THE ROAD! WHY, CAN"T YOU TWO RESIST YOUR ITCH?! YOU WERE THAT EXCITED OF EACH OTHER, HUH?!"
My tears fell down to the extreme pain of his words. I can"t believe those words came out of my husband"s own mouth. I looked up to keep my tears from falling and to breathe better.
“GOOD THING I HAVE LEFT SOMETHING THAT I NEEDED TO GO BACK HOME. BECAUSE IF NOT, SOMETHING HORRIBLE MIGHT BID ME WELCOME! WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DOING WITH YOUR OTHER MAN IF I DIDN"T GO BACK HERE, HUH?!"
I closed my eyes hard. “N-nothing! Please let go of me, I"m not doing anything wrong.” I said in my defense in the middle of my sobs.
Of course, I really did nothing wrong, Zian just suddenly showed up here in our house.
“NOTHING?! FVCK VANESSA! I SAW YOU KISSING! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES! NOW YOU WILL TELL ME THAT YOU WERE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG?! DO YOU THINK I"M THAT STUPID?!"
“He was the one who kissed me!” I answered relentlessly.
“BULLs.h.i.+T! WHY DID YOU ALLOW HIM THEN?!”
I gasped in a deep breath. I do not know what to tell him anymore just so he could understand. I"m tired of explaining and defending myself again and again. He"s my husband. And if there"s anybody who should understand and be on my side, it should be him.
Why couldn"t he believe me? Was it because I committed one mistake in the past and betrayed him that he could not trust me again? Is it hard for him trust anymore? Is that it?
I shouted again when he started to pull my hair. He whispered in my ear in gritted teeth, “I SWEAR TO YOU, I WILL KILL THAT MAN! I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST TO GET THAT MAN GO BACK TO JAIL!”
“Allen, stop! Just forget it!”
“No! And what does "he"ll take you away from me" mean?! Are you two planning on something? And you"ll leave me for that f.u.c.king a.s.shole?"
I was about to answer when he suddenly yelled again, “And you think I will allow that to happen?! Try me! You"re only mine, Vanessa! Do you understand? You are only mine!”
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