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“You"re an a.s.shole, that"s why she"s mad at you.”
“You"re an a.s.shole, too!” Allen said, blaming his friend, Marco, while pouring some brandy on a gla.s.s filled with ice. “I told you not to tell her, so she won"t worry."
“Wow! You"re pinning it on me now, huh? Sir Perez asked me where you are. Of course, I"ll give him an answer. How would I know it"s your wife that"s asking?"
Allen could only shake his head for having too many thoughts in his mind – he"s with a heavy heart. Then, he drank the alcohol on the gla.s.s straight. His forehead wrinkled as he felt the keen burn on his tongue and throat.
“What, did she start a fight with you?”
The reason he called him to their house for a drink right then was to somehow forget his fight with his wife earlier, but it seemed like he would still end up talking about it to his good friend and new business partner, Marco.
“What"s wrong? Did you two fight? She"s angry, isn"t she?” He insisted. Allen just sighed, and then he nodded as he sipped another gla.s.s of alcohol straight. “Tsk, tsk, tsk!” His friend reacted while shaking his head. “Just let her be. Girls are usually like that. They"re paranoid. Let her cool down first. Maybe she just missed you, or maybe she"s just sad. Give her an intense s.e.x! You"ll see, she will forget all of her problems with you." He wanted to laugh to his friend"s advice. He felt aggravated that even during such situations – that he"s down in the dumps – still, his friend, Marco, couldn"t talk about anything else but s.e.x. It"s not that easy anyway. s.e.x the problem away? He knew his wife was not like that. He wouldn"t get away with their problem that way. Vanessa even seemed out cold the last time they did it. What more if they would do that right now? His wife might not even sleep with him. He stood up from the high stool of their mini bar and took another bottle of alcohol from the wine rack. “You seem to really be in an uphill climb, huh? How many bottles of alcohol have you already tossed off? It looks like you don"t want me to go home alive.” His friend said, almost howling, as Allen came back to sit next to him. Allen kept silent and didn"t speak anymore. He just put some ice cubes on the gla.s.s, opened a new bottle, and poured some more alcohol on his gla.s.s. Indeed, he was in deep waters! He was p.i.s.sed off because of his wife"s att.i.tude. She"s doubting him, when in fact, he wasn"t doing anything wrong! She"s mistaken about him and she even yelled at him! She was acting like she didn"t even commit a mistake before! He didn"t expect that it will bring them to such kind of situation. He thought that they will be building a better relations.h.i.+p now that he has already settled his unfinished business with his ex-girlfriend. He thought that when he gets back to Manila, they could start anew. But no. It was as though he had done something worse. Overthinking was giving him a headache! He really didn"t expect that his wife would blow up to what he did. He thought it was a good move, but it turned out to be the opposite! Yes, he knew that he was guilty somehow, but not as much as what Vanessa was accusing him of doing. His mistake was not telling her – not telling her that he followed Lauren in Madrid to talk to her. *** He was excited to go home that day. It"s not a joke to be separated from his wife for a week. He was not used to having no Vanessa preparing the food that he eats, caring for him, arranging the clothes that he wears, and the one who"s on his side when he sleeps. He badly wanted to go home! But he didn"t expect to see his ex-girlfriend while he was on the queue on the airport. Yes, he was surprised to see her again after a few years. But if he was still affected? No. He knew to himself that he had no more feelings towards her. He already knew the woman he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
Actually, he had second thoughts about whether or not to talk to his ex-girlfriend. But in his mind, he knew he had to fix what"s broken the soonest possible. He didn"t want any trouble. He just wanted to finish everything.
He wanted his marriage life to be well. He wanted to give himself to his wife wholly. He knew that he couldn"t do that if there"s a part of him that"s broken. So after seeing his ex-girlfriend on the airport that day, he thought of it as an opportunity to make things right. He couldn"t just refuse it, could he? So, he followed her to Madrid to talk to her, to fix things, and to finish everything between them. That should be the last. After which, everything should be on their proper places.
A few days after the news broke out about his fixed marriage setup with another woman, Lauren broke up with him. It was very difficult for him to forget what happened that day. He can still remember how he begged that woman not to leave him. He almost knelt down on his knees! And that hurt – it hurts to be left by the only woman that he loved because he needed to be married to somebody else.
But he had no choice! If he could just leave with Lauren, so that they wouldn"t be separated anymore, he would. But then he couldn"t. He needed to marry another woman - the woman that"s intended for him.
He knew that Lauren was hurt with what happened. They didn"t see nor speak to each other again after that event. The woman didn"t even send him a message before leaving the country. But he still hoped that someday, she will come back to him; that even on the day of his wedding with Vanessa, he still hoped that the woman will return and they will be together again. The day of his wedding came, but there were no signs of Lauren.
Hence, when they met at the airport? At the back of his mind he knew that he needed to talk to her. He wanted to make sure that everything"s well between them. Formally. In such way, he could totally move on. They could start all over again – him and his wife.
That was what he took care of when he was in Madrid and not what his wife accused him of – that he was with another woman. He settled his "unfinished business" – if that"s what it"s called - with the woman he once loved. Because he wanted to give the whole of himself to his wife.
He and Lauren are good friends now. She"s already happy, and he is, too. And that"s one of the signs that they have already moved on and that both of them have let go of the past. Well, he"s now ready. He can give his attention to Vanessa – in full.
“You"re already wool-gathering, I think you"re already drunk.” His drinking buddy suddenly muttered, which brought him back to his sanity. He just wrinkled his forehead as he tossed off another gla.s.s. The taste of his drink was almost vapid as the ice cubes started melting inside. He"s been lost to himself for quite a while.
“Why didn"t you just invite me to a bar instead of here? It"s so boring! I have no one else to talk to. I have nothing else to see.” Marco said wearily.
Allen just shook his head. Was he so lame that his friend felt bored to death accompanying him? What could he do, he"s just feeling so troubled.
“I just don"t wanna go out. I might get too drunk and go home late.” He stalled in excuse.
“Oh, c"mon!” His friend showed a not-so-convinced reaction. “What"s new?! I"m the one who always bring you here when you"re drunk. Your wife"s already used to my face! Good thing she never doubted me, eh?" He humorously said.
Allen cursed him while he stroked his temples. He wasn"t sure if it"s the alcohol, or it"s just the problems he"s dealing with about their marriage.
“What? C"mon! Let"s go! I can still drive.”
He threw his friend a bad look again. He already knew the situation between them, but he still had the guts to invite him outside.
“No.” He answered. “Vannie might leave the house, I need to watch her out.”
“At last! The truth came out! You"re scared!” Marco laughed out loud.
Marco suddenly scoffed to what he said. Those words spitted out from his big mouth irrepressibly. On the other hand, Allen just rolled his eyes to his friend when he realized that he was just making captive of him. He didn"t deny, though. After all, that"s what he really felt.
His wife"s anger earlier was different. He saw her that mad only at that time. What"s worse was that he even raced anger with her – he yelled at her and broke some things. It made him feel irate because she"s suspecting him; she was dominated with a dirty mind when in fact, he didn"t do anything wrong! He was even trying to sort things out in their relations.h.i.+p and this was all that he"d reap. He knew how livid Vanessa was with him. As she showed him earlier - when she lost control of herself to extreme anger – he knew that she could possibly leave.
“Just talk to her.” Marco advised in a serious tone. “It will all be okay. It"s just a simple matter compared to what happened to the both of you before. Just be honest with her. Tell her that you just talked to Lauren.”
“Tsk, she doesn"t have to know.” He responded without turning his head around. He really didn"t want to because he knew that he wasn"t guilty. He didn"t do anything wrong. It"s enough that he already settled the issues between him and Lauren.
“Well, it"s up to you. But for sure, that won"t help. How about Lauren, how is she?”
“She"s fine. She"s happy."
“Ah. Tell her to meet us while she"s here in the Philippines.”
“Tss. Why don"t you tell her yourself?”
“Why won"t you, too? I thought you two are already okay? Don"t tell me you"re still affected when you see her?"
He sneered, “You"re such an a.s.shole! I"m not affected. We"re fine now.”
“Aahhh, I knew it…” Allen"s forehead suddenly wrinkled when he saw his friend stroking his chin as if he was up to something again. “It"s Vanessa again, isn"t it? Okay, fine. Don"t talk to Lauren anymore. Vannie might find out and you"ll be dead again."
He cursed him in a low voice, “Blabbermouth! You drunk?”
“Bulls.h.i.+t, how will I get drunk? You finished all bottles!”
He immediately s.h.i.+fted his eyes to the bottles of alcohol, and then to their gla.s.ses. And yes, it"s true. He just noticed that he drank all bottles of alcohol. Was his friend playing him?
“You know what? You"re funny! Before, you don"t like her. But now, you don"t want to let her go. And it"s a miracle that you get shaken by her! You"re scared, aren"t you? She"s already resisting you. You"re dead. If you won"t treat her well, she will leave you! She will go back to Zian." Marco openly and directly stated as if he didn"t mind how Allen will feel. He even laughed to what he just said.
“One more…” Allen threatened.
Why does he need to mention their a.s.shole friend - his old friend - in their conversation? He"s flaring up when he hears that name! And what was Marco saying that his wife will leave him again for Zian? Vanessa will not do that to him.
“I"m serious. She"ll leave you. She did that before, right? She can do it again."
He tightened his grip on the gla.s.s he"s holding that it almost crushed. “I won"t let that happen.” He promised himself while his eyes locked somewhere afar.
“You told me she"s mad at you. You already knew she"s angry and you still raced anger with her, too."
He bowed his head. He"s feeling down again. “I don"t know. She"s not like that before.”
Well, it"s true that before, most of the time, he had always hurt and beaten up his wife. But, never was there a time that she fought back like she did earlier. She even pointed fingers at him! His ego was bruised.
“Obviously, she"s afraid of you before.”
He s.h.i.+fted his gaze to his friend who was beside him and looked at him badly. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing. You were gone for a long time, right? For sure, she thought about and realized so many things. She might have lost interest in you. Maybe she"s pushed into her limits… Or she"s PMS-ing that"s why she"s hot-tempered… Or maybe she"s pregnant?"
They both froze when they heard footsteps.
His wife suddenly came. She seemed surprised when she saw them having a drink at the mini bar. She knew that he was not used to bringing a visitor to their house. They were even drinking. She just looked at them for a second and went straight to the kitchen. She bowed her head down, as if she suddenly felt embarra.s.sed.
On the other hand, Marco suddenly straightened up on the bar stool. He cleared his throat, “Uhm, good evening!” He greeted Vanessa.
Allen peeked at his wife to see how she would react. She just half-smiled at Marco. He felt a little bit happy somehow, because even if his wife looked anxious and sad – her eyes swollen from nonstop crying - she wasn"t rude to his friend. He married an angel.
He just watched Vanessa as she poured some water from the pitcher, until she left and went back to their room. She still wore the dress that he gave. Perhaps, she fell asleep and wasn"t able to change.
Suddenly, he noticed that his friend"s neck was slipping beside him; his eyes were staring at his wife.
“She just ignored you?” He seemed to be teasing again. “But really, Vanessa"s getting hotter. Well-suited with you, was it?”
He wanted to punch his friend because of what he said. “You lay one finger on her and I"ll break your face.”
He wasn"t threatening. He was telling the truth.
Marco sneered as he drank the remaining alcohol on his gla.s.s. “Easy, man. What do you think of me, Zian the second?” Then he laughed at his own statement. “Oh, by the way, speaking of your ‘old friend" …” He even mocked quotation marks in the air using his fingers. “… Have you heard about Zian?”
Allen rolled his eyes and sighed, as if he was saying "you mentioned that devil again". “Should I give a d.a.m.n?” He said.
“Maybe you just don"t know yet.”
“What? Is he dead?”
Marco just laughed. “Not yet. But he"s definitely out of your lives. He"s back to New York. For good.”
A smile of success drew on Allen"s lips.
“What about the engagement party? How was it? Where was it held? At Lauren"s house?”
And suddenly, his smile faded away because of his friend"s question. He sternly brushed his hair up.
That party! If only he can, he wouldn"t want to remember anything about that night. That"s what was driving his wife up the wall – the f*ckin" watch that he left in Lauren"s bathroom! He really forgot about the watch after he took it off to wash his hands. And because of that, his wife has been overthinking.
He remained clueless as to how Vanessa knew about the watch. It kept him wondering why his wife suddenly went looking for it. He didn"t even know that he left it at Lauren"s house.
He"s p.i.s.sed off that"s why he raised his voice at his wife earlier. He didn"t expect that she will suspect him of something like that – sleeping with his ex. Oh, come on! His wife didn"t know how much he"s longing for her body. Almost three weeks and no making out? He"s almost withered!
“Hey!” Marco suddenly nudged him. “I"m asking!”
He just breathed a deep one. “Yes, the party was held in their house. The party went fine.” Then, he suddenly noticed his friend taking out his cellphone from his pocket, so he sneered, “What, is she looking for you already?” He asked, and then poured more brandy on his gla.s.s.
Marco quickly stood up from the bar stool. He drank the remaining alcohol on his gla.s.s straight, which obviously showed that he"s in a rush. “I need to go. Mariel is already calling me.” These were the only words that he said, and then went straight to the door of the house. He hadn"t even said thanks for the alcohol that he drank.
Allen just watched his friend leave until he was gone. In his mind he thought, "Look at that one, he liked teasing me about being afraid of Vanessa, but look who"s talking! He"s the one that"s under! One call and he goes home right away?"
He stroked his forehead. He no longer have a drinking buddy. He was left alone. Great.
He didn"t want to booze alone, so he decided to stop. He just finished his last gla.s.s, stood up, and then placed it on the sink. But the effect of the alcohol was too strong that he suddenly felt dizzy. Good thing that he got a hold on the mini bar when he lost his balance.
It seems like he needs to take a rest as what happened tonight is very exhausting. Moreover, alcohol is not enough to escape from all of his thoughts.
When Allen entered their room, he immediately saw his wife sleeping like a baby. She was laying down on her stomach while her hands embraced a pillow. She has also changed her clothes and was already wearing silky blue PJs and a loose white top – all completely wrapped! Where"s the old Vanessa who always wore a thin dress every time they sleep?
Loneliness grew his sensations. Again, his wife"s not in a good mood. Obviously, she"s very mad at him. What would he expect?
He just cleaned up the broken lamp shade that were shattered on the floor, and then went straight into the shower room to take a bath. He knew that his wife didn"t like him to sleep beside her with a scent like that of an alcohol.
When he got out of the shower room, he saw Vanessa laying down on the same position. She didn"t even move. He only shook his head and laid down on the bed. He seemed to be hit by the spirit of the alcohol, but far from feeling sleepy. Then, he peeked at his wife who was sleeping deeply on his left. He thought about it for several times before he turned around and brushed her hair with his fingers.
“Vannie…” He whispered.
He never received any response. She looked like in a really deep sleep. He just came closer and softly embraced his wife. He laid one arm on her back and whispered to her, “Van… Wake up, talk to me.”
But he didn"t like the response given by his wife – she sternly pushed his arm away, then moved at the edge of the bed.
He ticked off! He wanted to break loose and pull her back, but he calmed himself down. He can"t blame her for acting like that. She"s mad and she"s avoiding him. He just moved away from her and turned his back to Vanessa.
He couldn"t sleep. He"s still wide awake because of the problem that he has been thinking about.
He thought that everything will be all right – totally. He even took comfort when he came home from Madrid because it felt like one thorn from the past was off his chest. But he couldn"t deny that he was a little nervous knowing that Vanessa has been worried about him – well, obviously. He told her he"ll be gone for only a week, but s.h.i.+t, it took him almost what? Three weeks! It"s not that easy to talk to an ex, though. He needed a perfect timing and a lot of courage.
He would"ve called Vanessa that time to tell her that their business meeting in Barcelona would be extended, so he couldn"t go home soon. But his plan was already ruined before it even started.
His cellphone almost went out of order because of the huge volume of calls and texts from his wife. She already found out that he went to Madrid, but he didn"t know how. Then, it deemed more difficult for him to tell Vanessa. He knew that she"s already overthinking and she might even do something to herself. Or maybe she would run away, and G.o.d, he didn"t want that to happen! Hence, he decided not to let her know.
Yes, he knew it was wrong, but still, he didn"t plan to tell his wife everything. He has already ended things between him and Lauren and that should be enough. He would only tell Vanessa that he had some work to take care of - which was true. He knew she would understand him.
But sh*t, his plans twirled upside down. All the excitement that he felt – the longing to see his wife again – vanished. When he arrived in the Philippines was the only time he read the message from his wife saying that she left and went to her parents" house. He remembered how he felt weak at the knees. He knew that his wife was heavy-hearted. He was very confident that his wife will not leave, but he was wrong. He then went out of sorts.
He still chose to go home. He took risk thinking that Vanessa might have changed her mind not to leave their house anymore. She promised him that she won"t, but when he got home, there was no wife that bid him welcome. He wanted to get mad because he was hoping to see Vanessa there, but he tried to understand. She got bored – that was what"s written on the note she left on the refrigerator and in their room.
Even though he was all worn out from his trip and was also feeling sick, he still followed her at her parents" house in Fort Bonifacio. He will bring her home.
The moment he saw his wife, he suddenly became anxious. The trace of anger and displeasure can be perceived in her eyes. He wanted make it up to her, but she fought and yelled at him. He didn"t expect that att.i.tude from Vanessa. She greeted him with shouting and he felt under the weather at the same time – he seemed to be losing strength. He felt so weak – maybe because of his long, tiring trip and overthinking.
He suddenly woke up when he heard the door opened. He didn"t notice that he already fell asleep thinking about what happened over and over again. Squinting his eyes, he immediately looked at Vanessa behind him. Sleepiness abandoned him as soon as he saw his wife out of bed. He panicked and stood up.
It took him seconds to realize that his wife was just at their room"s balcony. She"s just unwinding. He thought she already left.
“Vannie, you can"t sleep?” He asked his wife softly.
Stupid question. Why did he even ask? Who could sleep well after what happened.
“Van…” He called his wife once more, but she still ignored him and her eyes were locked far away.
He put both of his hands on top of the bal.u.s.trade. He felt the cold, breezy air on his face. A few more strokes of the wind went through before he thought of speaking. They needed to sort things out.
“I"m sorry…” He said softly without looking at Vanessa who was just in a mere span from him.
But as he was expecting, his wife still ignored him. She turned her back at him, as if she didn"t hear anything. He closed his eyes hard. He gripped his hair as he was starting to tick off. He followed Vanessa and pulled her on the arm. She stopped, but she still didn"t look at him, as if she didn"t like to see him.
“I said I"m sorry…” He muttered, preventing his voice from cracking. “Okay, look. I just followed her in Madrid because I wanted to talk to her. That"s all. So please, stop thinking too much. I"m not cheating on you, Vanessa.”
His wife remained indifferent. He was losing patience, so he pulled her on both shoulders and forced her to face him. She avoided his gaze, as if she didn"t care about what he was saying.
“Are you listening? I"m sorry. Please just hear me out. About the watch… Don"t think that I slept with her, because I didn"t. She just invited me to a party at her house.” He explained, but Vanessa still ignored him.
He shook his wife"s shoulders, causing her to finally look at him.
“Sorry…” He said again with a worried face.
G.o.d knows how sincere he was right at that moment. What else should he do? Kneel down?
Vanessa stared at him straight in the eyes and said, “Okay…” She responded very casually and frugally.
She removed his hands and went into the room. She left him alone at the veranda. He was left aching. His chest felt tight. He wanted to break loose! He wanted to break the gla.s.s door! His wife already said ‘okay‘, but he"s not convinced!
‘Okay‘? ‘That"s it? It was like Vanessa didn"t really mean it. It seemed like she was just forced to answer because she"s getting fed up with him, just so to end all of his coaxing. Just like that. It also looked like she didn"t care about his explain anymore. Didn"t she want to hear his side?
The way she delivered that word – so cold, no life.
He sternly wiped his face with both of his hands in frustration, then put them on the top of bal.u.s.trade. He gripped his hair. One of the things that he can"t do right then aside from explaining – to court his angry wife.
He"s getting p.i.s.sed off! Will their relations.h.i.+p be going back to the same, old routine? He felt like there"s no good result to what he did. His wife went off the deep end and that cut him like a serrated knife!
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