As Stella grew calmer she had a growing perception of this truth. He no longer indulged in vague, half-sincere predictions of disaster. His aspect was that of a man who was looking at fate.
A cold dread began to creep over her. What was in prospect? Was he, not Henry Muir, to lose everything? After all, he was her father, her protector, her only hope for the future. As reason found chance to be heard, she saw how senseless was her revolt at him. She could not go on ignoring him any longer. Perhaps it would be best to hear what he had to say.
This feeling was intensified by her mother, who at last came in and said, in a weak, half-desperate way, "Stella, there is no use of your going on in this style any longer. Distressed and worried as I am, I can see that we can"t help matters now by just wringing our hands.
Your father says we must leave as early as possible to-morrow. I can"t do everything to get ready. I"m so unnerved I can scarcely stand now.
Do come down to supper with us, or else let a good supper be brought to you, and then let us act as if we had not lost our senses utterly.
Your father looks and is so strange that I scarcely know him."
"I"ll not go down again. Nothing would tempt me to meet Graydon Muir and the curious stare of the people. I suppose they are full of surmises. If you will have a supper sent to me I will take it and do all the packing myself. Please tell papa that I wish to see him after supper."
She then made a toilet suitable for her task, and waited impatiently.
Her father soon appeared with a dainty and inviting supper. As soon as they were alone Stella began:
"Now, papa, tell me the worst--not what you fear, but just what is before us."
"Eat your supper first."
"No; I wish to learn the absolute truth. You said you had a great deal to say to me. I"m calm now, and I suppose I"ve acted like a fool long enough."
"I have much to say, but not many words. _I_ must begin again, Heaven only knows how or where. I am about at the end of my resources. I shall not do anything rash or silly. I shall do my best while I have power to do anything. I do not propose to reproach you for the past.
It"s gone now, and can"t be helped. My proposal to you is that _you_ begin also. You have tried pleasing yourself and thinking of self first pretty thoroughly. You know what it is to be a belle. Now, why not try the experiment of being a true, earnest, unselfish woman, whose first effort is to do right. Believe me, Stella, there is a G.o.d in heaven who thwarts selfishness and punishes it in ways often least expected. The people with whom we a.s.sociate soon recognize the self-seeking spirit, and resent it. You have had a terrible and practical ill.u.s.tration of what I say. Are you not a girl of too much mind to make the same blunder again? With your youth you need not spoil your life, or that of others, unless you do it wilfully."
She leaned back in her chair, and bitter tears came into her eyes.
"Yes," she faltered, "my lesson has been a terrible one; but perhaps I never should have become sane without it. I have been exacting and receiving all my life, and yet to-night I feel that I have nothing.
Oh," she exclaimed, with pa.s.sionate utterance, "I have been such a _fool_. Nothing, nothing to show for all those gay, brilliant years, not even a father"s love and little claim upon it."
He came to her side and kissed her again and again.
"You don"t know anything about a father"s love," he said. "It survives everything and anything, and your love would save me."
Never, even under the eyes of Graydon Muir, had she been so conscious of her heart before. Had he seen her when she departed on the earliest train in the morning he would have witnessed a new expression on her face.
CHAPTER x.x.xVI
MADGE ALDEN"S RIDE
Methodical Henry Muir found that the events of the last few days had resulted in a reaction and weariness which he could not readily shake off, and he had expressed an intention of sleeping late on Monday and taking the second train. When he and his family gathered at breakfast, the removal to Hotel Kaaterskill was the uppermost theme, and it was agreed that Madge and Graydon should ride thither on horseback, and return by a train, if wearied. Mr. Muir then went to the city, well prepared to establish himself on a safer footing. Graydon and Madge soon after were on their way through the mountain valleys, the latter with difficulty holding her horse down to the pace they desired to maintain.
After riding rapidly for some distance, they reached long, lonely stretches, favorable for conversation, and Graydon was too fond of hearing Madge talk to lose the opportunity. He looked wonderingly at her flushed face, with the freshness of the morning in it; her brilliant eyes, from which flashed a spirit that nothing seemed to daunt; the sudden compression of her lips, as with power and inimitable grace she reined in her chafing steed. Never before had she appeared so vital and beautiful, and he rode at her side with something like exultation that they were so much to each other. He was turning his back on a past fraught with peril, over which hung the shadow of what must have been a lifelong disappointment.
"The girl who would have taken me, as Henry chooses among commercial securities, cannot now make me an adjunct to her self-pleasing career," he thought. "I am free--free to become to Madge what I was in old times. No one now has the right to look askance at our affection and companionship. What an idiot I was to endure Stella"s criticism while she was playing it so sharp between Arnault and myself! No wonder crystal Madge said she and Stella were not congenial!
"I call Madge crystal, yet I don"t understand her fully, and have not since my return. She has had some deep, sad experience, which she is hiding from all. From what Mrs. Wendall said at the funeral yesterday, Madge must have revealed more of it to that dying girl than to any one else. How my heart thrilled at those strange whispered words! How dearly I would love to help her and bring unalloyed happiness into her life! But whatever it was referred to I cannot touch upon till she of her own accord gives me her confidence. Could she have formed what promises to be a hopeless love in her Western home, and is she now hiding a wound that will not heal, while bravely and cheerfully facing life as it is? Perhaps her purpose to return to Santa Barbara proves that she does not regard her love as utterly hopeless. Well, whatever the truth may be, she hides her secret with consummate skill, and I shall not pry into even her affairs. I only know that as I feel now I should prize her friendship above any other woman"s love."
"What are you thinking of so deeply?" she asked, meeting his eyes.
"My thought just then was that I should prize your friendship above any other woman"s love, and I had been felicitating myself that Stella Wildmere would never have the right to criticise the fact."
"Oh, Graydon, what a man of moods and tenses you are!" Then she added, laughing, "There has been indeed a kaleidoscopic turn in affairs. Mr.
Arnault disappeared yesterday, and Mary learned that the Wildmeres left by the early train this morning."
"Yes, Miss Wildmere followed Arnault promptly. They are near of kin, but not too near to marry. Their nuptials should be solemnized in Wall Street, under flowers arranged into a dollar symbol."
"I feel sorry for Mr. and Mrs. Wildmere, though; especially the former. I think he might have been quite different had the fates been kinder."
"I would rather dismiss them all from my mind as far as possible.
Don"t think me callous about Stella. If she had decided for me at once and been true I would have been loyal to her in spite of everything; but the revelation of her cold, mercenary soul makes me shudder when I think how narrowly I escaped allying myself to it."
"You have indeed had an escape," Madge replied, gravely. "If she were a young, thoughtless, undeveloped girl her womanhood might have come to her afterward. I hope I am mistaken, but she has made a singular impression on me."
"Please tell me it. You have insight into character that in one so young is surprising."
"I have no special insight. I simply feel people. They create an atmosphere and make some dominant impression with which I always a.s.sociate them."
"I am eager to know what impression Miss Wildmere has made."
"I fear this would be true of her, even after she becomes a mature woman. A man might be almost perishing at her side from mental trouble of some kind, and, so far from feeling for him and sympathizing, she wouldn"t even know it, and he couldn"t make her know it. She would look at him quietly with her gray eyes as she would at a problem in the calculus, and with scarcely more desire to understand him, and with perhaps less power to do so. She would turn from him to a new dress, a new admirer, or a new phase of amus.e.m.e.nt, and forget him, and the fact that he was her husband would not make much difference. Some deep experience of her own may change her, but I don"t know. I fear another"s experience would be like a tragedy without the walls while she was safe within."
"Oh, Madge, think of a man with a strong, sensitive nature beating his very heart to death against such pumice-stone callousness!"
"I don"t like to think of it," she replied. "Come, I ask with you now that we forget her as far as possible. She may not disappoint a man like Arnault. Let them both become shadows in the background of memory. Here"s a level place. Now for a gallop."
When at last they pulled up, Graydon said, "Your horse is awfully strong and restless to-day."
"Yes; he has not been used enough of late. He"ll be quiet before night, for I am enjoying this so much that I should like to return in the same way."
"I am delighted to hear you say so. My spirits begin to rise the moment I am with you, and you are the only woman I ever knew from whose side I could not go with the feeling, "Well, some other time would suit me now.""
Her laugh rang out so suddenly and merrily that her horse sprang into a gallop, but she checked him speedily, and thought, with an exultant thrill, "Graydon now has surely revealed an unmistakable symptom." To him she said:
"You amuse me immensely. You are almost as outspoken as little Harry, and, like him, you mistake the impression of the moment for the immutable."
"Now, that"s not fair to me. I"ve been constant to you. Own up, Madge, haven"t I?"
With a glance and smile which she never gave to others, and rarely to him, she said:
"I own up. I don"t believe a real brother would have been half so nice.".
"Let the past guarantee the future, then. Shake hands against all future misunderstandings."
She was scarcely ready to shake hands on such a basis, but of course would have complied. In the slight confusion her hand relaxed its grasp on the curb-rein, and at the same moment a locomotive, coming along the side of the opposite mountain, blew a shrill whistle.
Instantly her horse had the bit in his teeth, and was off at a furious pace.
At first she did not care, but soon found, with anxiety, that he paid no attention to her efforts to check him, and that his pace was pa.s.sing into a mad run. The gorge was growing narrower, and the lofty mountains stood, with their rocky feet, nearer and nearer together.