Eva rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes. When you brought me the clothes," she said. "What was it? Elegant, beautiful?" Aaron loved the sound of her voice when she was being teasing, making fun of him.
"Strong minded," he completed. "Don"t forget that."
Eva grinned. "As if I could."
Aaron leaned in a little closer to Eva and he noticed that she did nothing to maintain the distance between them. "I"d say that was the one thing about you that has always attracted me, Eva," he said softly.
He saw Eva"s eyes widen in surprise at his choice of words. "Purely in a professional capacity, of course," he suggested.
Eva"s brow tightened imperceptibly. "Purely professional. One rancher to another," she said with an emphatic purse of her lips.
Once again he knew she was teasing him and he felt a tingle of delight. He moved closer to her. There was only one thing he wanted to do right now, he told himself, looking at her mouth, it"s haughty expression challenging him, asking him if he was willing to answer to the impulse rising up inside him.
"But seriously, Eva. I"ve never known anyone quite like you. Heck, it"s been real difficult to make sense of how I"ve always felt about you," he said.
Eva"s gaze narrowed and he saw her features soften, all pretence vanish in an instant.
"You did a good job of hiding it, Aaron," she said.
"Well. What did you expect? With your pa and all, everything seemed to be about arguments and conflict over the ranch. I never had a chance to tell you anything about what I was thinking," he said.
Eva shifted and paused before asking him the next question. "And what exactly were you thinking all these years, Aaron?"
He looked into her eyes, saw the a.s.sent there, felt the need to lean in close and he did exactly that. He kissed Eva softly, tentatively seeking her answer. Feeling her acceptance of his lips he reached across and curled his fingers through her hair, drawing her closer, his lips savoring the gentle touch, the sweetness, the taste of her. He felt her breath soft against his face, heard the sound of her breathing mingle with the delicate dance of the water from the brook.
Then, as quickly as it had started, the kiss was over. He leaned back and quickly glanced into her eyes. Seeing the look there, the query in that gaze, Aaron suddenly felt that he hadn"t done the right thing. Even if somehow, what he"d just done felt utterly and completely selfish. Here she was, trying to recover her strength, regain her natural powers of health, and all he could think of was his own selfish desire to satisfy an urge which had been hiding within him all these years.
"I"m sorry, Eva," Aaron said quickly. "I shouldn"t have done that."
Eva"s mouth dropped open and she reached a hand across to his. "No, Aaron. Please don"t say that," she said.
Aaron shook his head. "I don"t know what came over me," he said.
"You don"t have to apologise, Aaron."
Aaron leaned away from Eva. "That wasn"t the act of a gentleman," he said.
Eva smiled softly at Aaron. "I think it was the act of someone who is trying to tell me something," she stated.
Aaron looked at Eva. Her eyes were fixed and expectant. Was she ready for an answer to her proposal? Was that what she meant? Dare he risk giving her that answer? Was it too soon?
"I"m sorry Eva. I should have known that it"s too soon for any of this," he said. "You"re still trying to get back on your feet."
Aaron stood up quickly, straightening his shirt and reaching a hand down to Eva. "Can I help you up?"
Eva looked up at him and paused. Aaron was sure he saw a familiar crinkle of impatience settle on her face. But, as quickly as it had appeared, Eva soon had it fully under control. She sighed and reached up and let Aaron help her up to her feet. He lifted his jacket up, slipped it back on and extended his arm to Eva.
"I believe there is a lunch awaiting us back at the house," he said.
Eva hooked her arm into Aaron"s. "I"m famished," she said with mock emphasis. Aaron had always known that Eva was a proud person, but in this instant, he was amazed at just how far she would go to disguise her disappointment. And, as they started back toward the house, that was the one thing that Aaron Stewart felt more than anything else.
It looked like the only thing he had achieved by kissing Eva Gillespie, as delightful as that first kiss had been, was to make her even more confused and disappointed, and to make her even more uncertain about whether he really and truly wanted to be her husband.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN.
Aaron had kissed her.
As they walked back to the ranch house, that one thought kept running through Eva"s mind, uncontrollable and insistent.
Aaron"s kiss had been gentle with just a hint of need. His lips had been soft and ever so sweet. But what had he meant by it? What was he trying to tell her? Eva knew they"d both held at bay an attraction to each other over the years. She was learning that now. But, why was Aaron taking so long to give her an answer? Was that his answer? One spoken without words?
The two of them didn"t speak as they walked side by side. Twice Aaron"s arm nudged against Eva"s, but on each occasion he quickly took a step to the side, putting distance between them.
Did he regret what he"d done? It seemed that way to Eva. Immediately after their lips had parted he"d glanced nervously into Eva"s eyes as if searching for a response. But, Eva had been so taken by surprise, and delighted by his tender attentions, that she was lost for words, or any kind of acknowledgment of what they"d both experienced seated on the gra.s.s by the brook.
Eva glanced up at Aaron as they finally made their way across the yard. She wondered if she should stop him, say something to him, even ask him for the answer she so badly wanted. But, the moment just didn"t feel right. He looked so confused, his brows knitted tight, his lips thin.
"There you both are," a voice called out, dragging Eva back to the present. Mrs. Lang stood at the front door, wiping her hands on an ap.r.o.n, her face flushed from labors in the kitchen "I was beginning to think you weren"t coming for lunch," she said.
Eva glanced up questioningly at Aaron. His mouth twisted into an apologetic grin. "We got to talking," he explained to his housekeeper.
"Everything"s ready," Mrs. Lang said gesturing inside the house.
Stepping up onto the porch Aaron stood to one side and motioned Eva to go in ahead of him. Eva followed Mrs. Lang down the hall to the dining room. When she entered she was amazed at the sheer size of the spread which had been laid out on the long, wooden table. The finest china dishes were laden with vegetables, fried chicken, small steaks and bread. There was a large soup tureen in the center, a long handled ladle resting by it"s side. The smell of freshly cooked lunch filled the small room. It made Eva"s stomach groan. She placed a hand over her middle and gave Aaron look, just to see if he"d heard the sound. He gave her an understanding grin.
"I hear someone"s hungry," Mrs. Lang declared. "Then again, you"ve been surviving on soup for so long, maybe I should just take that tureen back to the kitchen."
"No. It"s fine. As long as it"s not chicken soup," Eva said with a smile.
"Finest vegetables in these here parts have gone into that soup," Mrs. Lang announced. "Now, you just take your seat, Miss Eva. I believe Aaron will do the necessary," she said with a glance at her employer as she left the room.
Aaron leaned his head to one side and nodded. "It"ll be my pleasure," he said moving to stand behind Eva"s chair. Aaron drew the chair out a bit more and gestured with an open hand. "After you, Eva," he said. Eva took her seat glancing up at Aaron as he slid it into place, making sure she was comfortable.
Eva watched Aaron move around the table and take his place opposite her. He was always so well behaved around his housekeeper. They looked like they both had respect for each other, and that was something Eva could understand. Mrs. Bell had always been a source of strength and stability at the Gillespie ranch. Eva couldn"t imagine life without her kindly housekeeper. It was almost as if she had been the mother Eva hadn"t had around for so long.
"She"s amazing," Eva said to Aaron.
He nodded. "I don"t know what I"d do without her. She keeps us all fed and under control," he admitted with a grin.
"I know how that feels. Mrs. Bell"s been the same for me. It"s like she"s one of the family," Eva said.
"Ranch life isn"t anything without family, I guess," Aaron said.
Eva frowned. "I guess that"s right," she answered tentatively.
"Can I serve you some of this lovely soup," he offered.
"It smells delicious," she said.
Eva watched as Aaron took her plate in his strong hands, lifted the lid on the tureen and ladled out the soup onto the plate. When he handed the plate to Eva she was sure his eyes briefly met her own. When she took the plate from him her hands felt as if they were shaking and she feared for a moment that she would spill the soup.
"Okay?" Aaron asked, pausing for a moment before putting some soup into his own plate.
Eva nodded quickly. "Sure."
She took up her spoon and took a sip of the soup. Unlike in previous days, the act of tasting the delicious liquid didn"t immediately prompt a spasm of coughing.
Aaron took his seat and they both ate in silence for a while. Eva kept her eyes fixed on the plate, wondering what she could say next, asking herself what Aaron was going to say to her. Would he mention what had happened out by the brook? She supposed not, given that everything she"d learned about Aaron these past days told her that he was a gentleman. Which made what he"d done so surprising. It seemed so unlike the person she"d come to know. Was he more impulsive and spontaneous than she"d given him credit for? Was he more like Eva than she"d realized? Impulsive. Spirited. Restless.
"You seem so much better today," Aaron said eventually.
Eva nodded. "I guess all that sleep did me good. Turns out the doc was right. I just needed some time," she said.
"Sometimes all it takes is time for things to work themselves out," Aaron said.
Eva frowned. "Is that what you think?"
"Sure. It comes with the territory. Living out here, you just have to give things time to breath. You can"t rush anything, especially living in a place like Montana. You should know that," he said.
Eva nodded. "I used to think that everything had to be done in a hurry. I was always in a rush to get things done as fast as possible," she said.
"I can confirm that," he said playfully. "You always have been a bundle of energy. I"ve seen grown men struggle to keep up with you on the ranch. Some of your ranch hands even came over to work for me. Told me you were a hard taskmaster. Or should that be mistress?"
Eva smiled. "You know how it is, Aaron. Ranching"s a hard life. My father knew that. He bred it into me. Hard work was all that mattered," Eva said.
"All that mattered?" Aaron queried. His brows rose and his eyes fixed on Eva. He didn"t look convinced.
Eva paused. They ate in silence for a while and then she took a final sip of soup, laying down her spoon on the empty plate.
She sighed, propped an elbow on the table and rested her chin on an upraised hand. "My father told me that everything could be fixed with hard work. But since he"s been gone, I know that there"s more to life than just effort and making a success of things," she admitted.
Aaron rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Like what?"
Eva sighed. She wasn"t sure she wanted to answer that. It meant bringing up things that might be best left untouched. But, when she looked across at Aaron and saw the sincere interest in his eyes, she knew she could trust him, knew that he would understand how life had taught her some harsh lessons on recent times.
"I guess that with my father pa.s.sing I know what it feels like to be really alone," she said softly. Eva didn"t feel any tears in her eyes, only that familiar hollow sensation that she"d felt so often in the last few days.
Eva was sure she could hear an almost inaudible sigh escape Aaron"s lips.
"You"re not alone, Eva," Aaron said. Eva felt something rise up inside her, a flush of expectation, even hope.
"Oh, I know I"ve got the ranch hands. They sure know how to keep me busy. I suppose they are company too," she said.
"That"s not what I"m talking about," Aaron said.
Eva felt her eyes widen and she gazed across at Aaron.
Aaron lowered his head and looked down at the table, his brows furrowed deep in thought. There was a long pause and then he finally spoke. "You know we haven"t spoken about what you asked me back at the ranch," Aaron said.
Eva shifted some loose hairs away from the side of her face and peered across the table at Aaron. Was he going to tell her what she wanted to hear? Did she even want to know the answer? Maybe life with Jude wouldn"t be as bad as she thought it would be. After all, marriages of convenience happened all the time in these parts. Eva thought of Joshua and Laura. They had entered into a marriage in name only. It seemed to be working out for them.
But, Jude was no Joshua. That much was certain.
Eva gazed across at Aaron. And one thing was for sure. If she had to choose between spending her life with Aaron or Jude, the way she felt right now, there was only one answer she wanted to hear from the man sitting across from her.
Aaron was burning up inside. All he needed to do was tell Eva. He"d already made his mind up. Heck, there had been nothing to think of. The prospect of marrying Eva filled him with delight and antic.i.p.ation.
But, had he ruined it all by that kiss by the brook? He hadn"t been able to contain himself, and there was a part of him that truly regretted his hasty, impulsive action. However, one thing he"d learned in the short time he"d been sharing his home with Eva Gillespie, was that she had a way of bringing things out of him that he"d never known existed. And, today had been a perfect example. Looking at her sitting by his side at the brook, her pretty face smiling at him, her delightful figure calling for his attention, the scent of her intoxicating his sense, had just made him act. He"d needed to reach out and touch her face, place his lips on her own as gently as he could, claim her in a way that he"d never thought possible.
But, had he made the biggest mistake of his life? Did she think less of him now than before?
She was waiting for an answer, that was for sure. He looked across the table and felt something shift inside him when he saw the look in her eyes. Was she asking him something with those pretty eyes? He could gaze into those eyes all day and leave the ranch to run itself. That was how he felt right in this moment.
Aaron sighed and forced himself back to the present. "Maybe we need to talk, Eva," he said firmly.
Eva shifted in her seat, suddenly unsettled. Had she misunderstood his tone? Heck, he felt so nervous. He was about to say the most important thing he"d ever said in his life, and he didn"t have the slightest idea how to get the words out right.
Aaron felt his throat tighten, and his mouth was suddenly inexplicably dry, even after eating the soup.
"What about, Aaron?" Eva asked. He was sure he heard her voice quiver and her face looked more pale than it had done moments before.
Aaron cleared his throat and frowned. "It has to do with your present situation," he said.
Eva nodded. Aaron saw her brows furrow and her fingers move nervously against the table.
"What about it?" Eva asked, sounding as if she was forcing out the words.
Aaron leaned back in his chair, extending an arm on the table. He needed to maintain an appearance of calm control. He knew that. But, how come his insides were churning the way they were?
"You recall the question you asked me back at the ranch," he said.
Eva nodded wordlessly. He could see she was putting as much effort into appearing calm as he was.
"Well. I"ve been thinking about that. In fact, I haven"t been able to think about much else since you asked me," he said.
Aaron saw Eva"s mouth crease slightly into the faintest of satisfied smiles.
"And, I know you"ve been waiting for me to give you an answer. That"s only fair and right. But I was in a difficult position. The doc told me you needed time to recover. He even told me that any kind of shock might set you back. Make you sicker than you should be," Aaron said, wondering why the words weren"t coming our right.
He saw Eva start to frown and her eyes narrowed. Aaron suddenly knew he had to press on, get to the point.