"Did she...?" The unfinished question was left hanging in the air.
Another sigh. "She struggled with mental illness the last year of her life. No one knows what happened, why it started. She was fine, and then one day...she wasn"t fine anymore."
Madison waited for him to say more, but the silence stretched between them. Rather than push, she let him take his time. Finally he spoke, his voice thick with emotion. "The paintings were the first sign that something wasn"t right. She became obsessed with death. Then the paranoia set in. She wouldn"t go see a doctor."
A lump formed in Madison"s throat. Dealing with her own mother"s erratic behavior, she knew what it was like. Her stomach tightened. "I"m sorry. That must have been so hard."
"I was only five. I didn"t understand what was going on. All I knew was that my mom wasn"t acting like she used to. Dad"s words were sharper, filled with tension. And Mom didn"t want to hug me anymore."
The pain Madison felt as a child, unwanted by her own mother, came back to her in a rush of emotion. She remembered curling up on her bed and crying herself to sleep because her mother had promised she"d come back and tuck her in, only to be disappointed once again. Her eyes stung, and she blinked away the moisture.
"She spent more and more time in her art studio, attacking the canvas with her brush. I went to see her one day after school, and I found her sitting on the floor, red paint dripping from her face and arms. I screamed. I thought it was blood."
Madison clutched the blanket. "I"m sure that was scary."
His voice turned soft. "Then one day, Mom left and didn"t come back. They found her car by the lake... and her body at the bottom."
Madison sucked in a breath. "How awful."
"I thought she was mad at me. That if I would just be a good boy, she"d come home. Then Dad brought home a replacement mom, and I knew she was never coming back."
The pain in his voice broke Madison"s heart, and tears spilled down her cheeks. She slipped out of bed, climbed under his blanket and put her arm around his chest. "It wasn"t your fault."
Jared pulled her close, and she nuzzled his neck. His fingers brushed against her cheek and jerked away at the moisture. Then he cradled her face and his thumb wiped away her tears. "Don"t cry for me, Maddie girl," he whispered.
She squeezed him and buried her face in his chest, savoring the musky smell of him. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, patting her back.
Warmth enveloped her, and she knew. She had jumped off the cliff. But instead of crashing to the earth, she soared above the clouds in a rush of emotion. And as she drifted off to sleep, she gave up trying to save her heart, because it was no longer hers. Jared held it firmly in his hands.
Madison awoke wrapped in a warm coc.o.o.n, and her eyes flew open wide. She"d fallen asleep next to Jared. He lay with his arm tucked around her waist. She wormed her way out from his grasp. He didn"t wake, and she snuck into the bathroom to shower.
Emotions surged through her. She"d spent the night in Jared"s arms, and even though the floor was hard and cold, she"d slept in blissful peace. Her heart hammered in her chest as she squeezed the shampoo from the bottle.
Last night she"d surrendered her heart to him. She had nothing left to hold back. The feeling both excited and terrified her. Jared could crush her, dash her to pieces by simply saying goodbye. But it was too late to stop her descent. She"d fallen for him, and with an aching in her chest, she realized she loved him.
Apprehension filled her as she stepped out of the shower. The unknown future hung before her, foreboding. Jared"s actions toward her were inconsistent. He seemed aloof one minute, and pa.s.sionately kissed her the next. Of course, the kisses were a show for his relatives. But there was something deeper there. At least she felt it. Maybe she was the only one.
Madison wasn"t sure what the day held. Irene had been cryptic. "Help with the last-minute setup," whatever that meant. She didn"t know what else there was to do. The flowers wouldn"t arrive until tomorrow morning. Everything else appeared to be done.
She finished up in the bathroom, then crept around the bedroom so as to not wake Jared, who still lay on the floor. The bed hadn"t been used much, so straightening the covers only took a second. She tucked her pajamas into her laundry bag and shoved it into her overnight case.
Jared"s cell lay on the dresser. She peered at him, his chest rising and falling in slow rhythm. He wouldn"t care if she peeked at her horoscope, would he? She picked up his phone and called up the app.
You feel wound up and restless. People find you tense and excitable. Channel this energy into a useful activity instead of letting yourself be a victim of circ.u.mstance. Allow yourself to express your emotions to those you love.
Yeah, right. If she expressed her emotions to Jared, he"d run away, screaming.
"Sleep well?"
His voice startled her, and she whipped around, hiding the phone behind her back. "Stop doing that."
Jared raised his head and rested it on his hand, his elbow on the floor. "Stop what?"
"Sneaking up on me. It"s rude."
His eyes held a smile. "I didn"t sneak. Someone was making noise and woke me up."
"Sorry."
"You don"t sound very sorry."
She slipped his phone in her pocket and sat down on the bed. "What do you want, a card? And in answer to your question, I slept very well, thank you."
His upper lip twitched. "So did I."
A warm blush spread over her. "You"d better get ready. Irene keeps saying we have a full day ahead of us."
"Yeah, I know." His lips spread into a real smile, and his eyes held a secretive gleam.
"Wait, you know something. What"s going on today?"
"I"m not saying a word." He mimicked zipping his lips and locking them, then tossed the make-believe key over his shoulder.
Madison laughed. "Fine. I"ll go find out from Irene." She pulled on her sandals. When Jared turned his head, she put the phone back on the dresser and headed down the stairs. Something caused her to pause for a moment at the locked door. It was a shame they kept the lovely paintings hidden away. Maybe someday the pain would lessen to a point where Jared could hang them up and enjoy their beauty.
Irene and Carrie were sitting at the island when Madison walked in. "Good morning."
Carrie studied Madison, an eyebrow raised. "Good morning."
Irene wore her long black hair twisted in a knot at the base of her skull, and a floral blouse and skirt made her look too dressed-up for working in the backyard. "I"m glad you"re up. We"ll be leaving in a half hour. Don"t eat a heavy breakfast."
Lifting a cup of coffee to her lips, Carrie hid a smile. She appeared to be a little dressed-up, too, forgoing her normal jeans for a yellow sundress. At least Madison had worn one of her new tops and a pair of nicer shorts that flared out like a skirt.
True to her word, Irene loaded them in the car a half hour later. Carrie chatted happily in the back seat, asking questions about Mark and making it obvious she had her sights set on him. Irene turned out to be a wealth of information. Mark had been seriously dating a woman the previous year, but they"d broken up. He would be graduating from law school next fall, and he was in the top of his cla.s.s.
Irene pulled into a parking lot. A cute Victorian-style restaurant sat with a large sign proclaiming The Attic Tea Room. As they parked, Patricia got out of a red convertible, along with two other girls.
Patricia squealed and she ran up to Madison. "Can you believe it? The wedding is tomorrow. I"m simply beside myself. Oh, this is Angela and Casey, my bridesmaids. This is Madison, Jared"s fiancee."
The girls swarmed around Patricia like bees, humming with excitement. They were skinny and good-looking, with gorgeous tans...the kind of girls who were popular and whose social calendars were always filled. Casey, the taller one, ignored Madison, while Angela peered at her with open curiosity.
Madison introduced Carrie, then eyed Irene pulling out several shopping bags filled with presents. "What are those?"
Irene smiled. "This is your surprise bridal shower, actually, a double bridal shower. You and Patricia are our honored brides today."
A bridal shower? For her? Madison swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Patricia squealed some more and hugged everyone, then dabbed at her eyes. "What a wonderful surprise."
Everyone helped Irene bring the packages inside the restaurant. The host led them to a private room, decked out in white and gold balloons to match their wedding colors. The white tablecloth and gold-rimmed gla.s.ses added a sophisticated air to the decorations. They piled the gifts on a table against the wall.
They ate mini m.u.f.fins, fruit, and breakfast quiche, and chatted about the wedding. Then they played Bridal Bingo and Wedding Trivia. It felt good to be part of a family. But, at the same time, guilt for her deception wormed its way into her stomach. She shoved the feeling aside.
"Now for the best part." Irene stood and made her way across the room. "Present time!"
Apprehension filled Madison. The gifts at the last bridal shower she"d attended had been one skimpy, lacy piece of lingerie after another. Her cheeks heated as she opened the first gift, from Irene. She pulled out a book and prayed it wasn"t anything embarra.s.sing.
"Twelve Steps to a Happy Marriage." Madison smiled as relief flooded through her. "Thank you, Irene. What a thoughtful gift."
Next came a set of monogrammed towels from Casey, and a silver picture frame from Angela. The acceptance she felt from these relative strangers made her throat tighten. She didn"t deserve this kind of treatment. She was an imposter. She swallowed the bad taste in her mouth.
Carrie"s gift came next. A personalized photo alb.u.m for the wedding pictures. Carrie grinned at her. "So you can open this up and remember your wedding day forever."
Madison knew the underlying message: "At least you"ll have photos of Jared." The problem was, Carrie didn"t know how far Madison had fallen. And how empty her life would be, holding on to an alb.u.m filled with pretend promises.
Madison shoved the thoughts away and cleared her throat. If she wanted to be an actress, then she"d better start acting. "Thank you, Carrie."
"This next gift is from Sh.e.l.ly. Even though she couldn"t be here today, she wants you to know how happy she is to have you joining our family."
Madison blinked away the moisture gathering in her eyes. The package contained a red silk robe and a lacy teddy for underneath. The girls giggled and hooted. Madison was filled with too much emotion to be embarra.s.sed.
After they got home, Madison excused herself and curled up on the guest bed. Thirty minutes later, Jared entered the room.
"You okay?"
The concern in his voice pierced her soul, and pushed her over the edge. This wasn"t right. She couldn"t do this anymore. "No, I"m not okay. I can"t go through with this."
"What do you mean?"
Madison wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I can"t do this. The wedding is off."
Chapter 20.
Jared stared at Madison in disbelief. "Wait, what?" She couldn"t call the wedding off. It would devastate his aunt.
Tears streamed down her face. "What are we doing, Jared?"
Confusion muddled his thoughts. She"d been fine this morning. Happy, even. Now she was hysterical. "What"s wrong? Did something happen at the bridal shower?" He sat next to her on the bed.
Her eyes narrowed. "You didn"t answer my question. What are we doing here? Are we really going to pretend to get married tomorrow?"
Jared looked up at his tuxedo hanging on the back of the bathroom door. He bit back the urge to shake her and yell, "Well, duh!" Something told him that would be the wrong thing to do. Instead, he patted her shoulder. "What happened, Madison?"
"Nothing happened!" She sniffed. "We just can"t do this."
That made no sense. Of course, women often made no sense. It was probably hormones. The bane of every man"s existence. He"d rather scrub toilets than deal with PMS. A whole pile of toilets. He sighed. "Yes, we can do this. It"s only one day. You put on a dress and smile. That"s it. It will all be over on Sunday."
That must have been the wrong thing to say because she stared at him, a stunned look on her face. Then more tears flowed. She rolled over, away from him. "I can"t do it. I"m sorry. I have to leave." She got off the bed, unzipped her duffle bag and began stuffing clothes in it.
Jared glanced longingly at the toilet. The springs on the bed groaned as he stood. He crossed the room and took her shoulders in his hands to calm her, and stop her from packing. "My aunt is very sick. She may not live much longer. Sh.e.l.ly"s last wish is to see me married. If we don"t go through with this, she"ll be devastated."
She peered up at him and blinked. "I don"t want to hurt Sh.e.l.ly."
"I know." He rubbed her arms. "You care about her. I can see that."
She stared at the floor. "I never wanted to hurt anyone."
He pulled her close. "Of course not."
"And I was just fine until everyone was so nice to me. And Sh.e.l.ly, she was too sick to come, but she gave me this bridal shower gift anyway and welcomed me to the family, and Irene was sitting there smiling with tears in her eyes, and everyone smiled at me, and I felt awful, Jared, simply awful."
Jared didn"t know how to respond to her. It sounded like a garbled mess of female craziness to him. But he wasn"t about to admit that. "There, there." He patted her back.
"I don"t know how I can go through with this." Her voice sounded thin, hollow.
He tightened his arms around her. "If we call this thing off, Sh.e.l.ly will be so disappointed. You need to think of her."
Madison took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. "You"re right, of course. I"m not thinking clearly."
He nodded, then decided agreeing with her that she wasn"t thinking clearly was not the best idea, so he masked the gesture by looking around. "It"s only one more day."
A silence settled in the room. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes. Finally she pulled away from him. "Just one more day. Then what?"
The question seemed to hold weight, and as she stared at him expectantly, he had no idea what the right answer was. The selfish side of him wanted to keep seeing her. He wanted to say, "Then we"ll date each other because I like you." But she"d just spent forty minutes crying, and the only reason he could figure was because his family had been nice to her. The last thing he wanted was to start that again. So, he shrugged and said, "Then you"re off the hook."
She stared at him, slowly nodding. "Off the hook," she mumbled.
He couldn"t tell if that made her happy or not, but she wasn"t crying, so he went with it. "Yep. Off the hook." To emphasize how great it would be, he grinned like a stupid Cheshire cat.
She nodded again, went into the bathroom and closed the door. The rest of the day seemed to go smoothly. At least she didn"t cry anymore. But around dinner time, he realized she"d been avoiding him. He couldn"t catch her gaze, and she"d gone out of her way to sit between Carrie and Patricia.
She snuck off to bed early, and by the time he realized this, she was snuggled under the covers, asleep. Whatever he"d done wrong this time, he didn"t want to know. He just hoped she"d be over it by tomorrow.
Madison stared at the dress. Her wedding dress. The most beautiful thing she"d ever seen. Too bad looking at it made her want to throw up.
"You have the dress on yet?" Carrie called through the door.
"Just a minute." Madison bit her lip. There was no backing out now. She had to put the thing on and pretend she was a happy bride.
She undressed and slipped the gown on. "Okay, you can come in."
Carrie burst through the door, already in her gold bridesmaid dress and heels, her hair swept up in a formal up-do. "Oooh, you"re going to look so good."