"Don"t you dare knock your chair over," said his mother. "Raymond! If you go out that door, I won"t be here when you get back."
The two women sat quietly after the door slammed. Then Mimi picked up the fallen chair. "That"s the real Raymond," she said. "That"s Raymond, in public and private. I don"t blame any man"s mother for the way the man turns out."
"He had hair like wheat," said Marie. "It turned that rusty color when he was three. He had the face of an angel. It"s the first time I"ve ever seen him like this. Of course, he has never been married before."
"He"ll be lying on the bed now, sulking," said Mimi. "I"m not used to that. I hadn"t been married before, either." She began rinsing plates at the sink. The slit of a window overlooked cars and the stricken palms. Tears ran down her cheeks. She tried to blot them on her arm. "I think he wants to leave me."
"So what if he does leave," said Marie, looking in vain for a clean dish towel. "A bad, disobedient boy. He ran away to Vietnam. The last man in our family. He should have been thinking about having sons instead of travelling around. Raymond"s father was called Louis. My father"s name was Odilon. Odilon-Louis that"s a nice name for a boy. It goes in any language."
"In my family we just have girls," said Mimi.
"Another thing Raymond did," said Marie. "He stole his father"s gold watch. Then he lost it. Just took it and lost it."
"Raymond never lost that watch," said Mimi. "He probably sold it to two or three different people. Raymond will always be Raymond. I"m having a baby. Did he tell you that?"
"He didn"t have to," said Marie. "I guessed it when we were in the car. Don"t cry anymore. They can hear. The baby can hear you."
"He"s already heard plenty from Raymond."
Marie"s English died. "Look," she said, struggling. "This baby has a grandmother. He"s got Berthe. You"ve You"ve got Berthe. Never mind Raymond." got Berthe. Never mind Raymond."
"He"ll need a father image," said Mimi. "Not just a lot of women."
"Raymond had one," said Marie. "He still joined the Marines."
"He or she," said Mimi. "I don"t want to know. I want the surprise. I hope he likes me. She. It feels like a girl."
"It would be good to know in advance," said Marie. "Just for the shopping to know what to buy. Do you want to save the rest of the shrimp or throw it out?"
"Save it," said Mimi. "Raymond hardly ate anything. He"ll be hungry later on."
"That bad boy," said Marie. "I don"t care if he never eats again. He"ll find out what it"s like, alone in the world. Without his mother. Without his aunt. Without his wife. Without his baby."
"I don"t want him to be alone," said Mimi, showing Marie her streaked face, the sad little curls stuck to her wet cheeks. "He hasn"t actually gone anywhere. I just said I thought he was thinking about it."
Marie tried to remember some of the English Berthe used. When she was talking to people from her office, Berthe would say, "All in good time," and "No way he can do that," and "Count on me," and "Not to worry."
"He won"t leave you," said Marie. "No way I"ll let him do that. Count on me." Her elbow brushed against the handle of the refrigerator door; she felt a silvery spark through the chiffon sleeve. This was the first time such a thing had happened in Florida; it was like an approving message from Berthe. Mimi wiped her hands on a paper towel and turned to Marie.
"Be careful," said Marie, enfolding Raymond"s wife and Raymond"s baby. "Be careful the baby doesn"t get a shock. Everything around here is electric. I"m electric. We"ll have to be careful from now on. We"ve got to make sure we"re grounded." She had gone into French, but it didn"t matter. The baby could hear, and knew what she meant.
Dede
PASCAL BROUET is fourteen now. He used to attend a lycee, but after his parents found out about the dealers in the street, outside the gates, they changed him to a private school. Here the situation is about the same, but he hasn"t said so; he does not want to be removed again, this time perhaps to a boarding establishment, away from Paris, with nothing decent to eat and lights-out at ten. He would not describe himself as contriving or secretive. He tries to avoid drawing attention to the Responsibility clause in the treaty that governs peace between generations. is fourteen now. He used to attend a lycee, but after his parents found out about the dealers in the street, outside the gates, they changed him to a private school. Here the situation is about the same, but he hasn"t said so; he does not want to be removed again, this time perhaps to a boarding establishment, away from Paris, with nothing decent to eat and lights-out at ten. He would not describe himself as contriving or secretive. He tries to avoid drawing attention to the Responsibility clause in the treaty that governs peace between generations.
Like his father, the magistrate, he will offer neutrality before launching into dissent. "I"m ready to admit," he will begin, or "I don"t want to take over the whole conversation..." Sometimes the sentence comes to nothing. Like his father, he lets his eyelids droop, tries to speak lightly and slowly. The magistrate is famous for fading out of a discussion by slow degrees. At one time he was said to be the youngest magistrate ever to fall asleep in court: he would black out when he thought he wasn"t needed and snap to just as the case turned around. Apparently, he never missed a turning. He has described his own mind to Pascal: it is like a superlatively smooth car with an invisible driver in control. The driver is the magistrate"s unconscious will.
To Pascal a mind is a door, ajar or shut. His grades are good, but this side of brilliant. He has a natural gift a precise, perfectly etched memory. How will he use it? He thinks he could as easily become an actor as a lawyer. When he tells his parents so, they seem not to mind. He could turn into an actor-manager, with a private theatre of his own, or the director of one of the great national theatres, commissioning new work, refurbishing the cla.s.sics, settling questions at issue with a word or two.
The Brouets are tolerant parents, ready for anything. They met for the first time in May of 1968, a few yards away from a barricade of burning cars. She had a stone in her hand; when she saw him looking at her, she put it down. They walked up the Boulevard Saint-Michel together, and he told her his plan for reforming the judiciary. He was a bit older, about twenty-six. Answering his question, she said she was from Alsace. He reminded her how the poet Paul eluard had picked up his future wife in the street, on a rainy evening. She was from Alsace, too, and starving, and in a desperate, muddled, amateurish way pretending to be a prost.i.tute.
Well, this was not quite the same story. In 1968 the future Mme. Brouet was studying to be an a.n.a.lyst of handwriting, with employment to follow so she had been promised in the personnel section of a large department store. In the meantime, she was staying with a Protestant Reformed Church pastor and his family in Rue Fustel-de-Coulanges. She had been on her way home to dinner when she stopped to pick up the stone. She had a mother in Alsace, and a little brother, Amedee "Dede."
"Sylvie and I have known both sides of the barricades," the magistrate likes to say, now. What he means is that they cannot be crowded into a political corner. The stone in the hand has made her a rebel, at least in his recollections. She never looks at a newspaper, because of her reputation for being against absolutely everything. So he says, but perhaps it isn"t exact: she looks at the pages marked "Culture," to see what is on at the galleries. He reads three morning papers at breakfast and, if he has time, last evening"s Le Monde Le Monde. Reading, he narrows his eyes. Sometimes he looks as though everything he thinks and believes had been translated into a foreign language and, suddenly, back again.
When Pascal was about nine, his father said, "What do you suppose you will do, one day?"
They were at breakfast. Pascal"s Uncle Amedee was there. Like everyone else, Pascal called him Dede. Pascal looked across at him and said, "I want to be a bachelor, like Dede."
His mother moaned, "Oh, no!" and covered her face. The magistrate waited until she had recovered before speaking. She looked up, smiling, a bit embarra.s.sed. Then he explained, slowly and carefully, that Dede was too young to be considered a bachelor. He was a student, a youth. "A student, a student," he repeated, thinking perhaps that if he kept saying it Dede would study hard.
Dede had a b.u.t.ton of a nose that looked ridiculous on someone so tall, and a ma.s.s of curly fair hair. Because of the hair, the magistrate could not take him seriously; his private name for Dede was "Harpo."
That period of Pascal"s life, nine rounding to ten, was also the autumn before an important election year. The elections were five months off, but already people argued over dinner and Sunday lunch. One Sunday in October, the table was attacked by wasps, drawn in from the garden by a dish of sliced melon the last of the season, particularly fragrant and sweet. The French doors to the garden stood open. Sunlight entered and struck through the wine decanters and dissolved in the waxed tabletop in pale red and gold. From his place, Pascal could see the enclosed garden, the apartment blocks behind it, a golden poplar tree, and the wicker chairs where the guests, earlier, had sat with their drinks.
There were two couples: the Turbins, older than Pascal"s parents, and the Chevallier-Crochets, who had not been married long. Mme. Chevallier-Crochet attended an art-history course with Pascal"s mother, on Thursday afternoons. They had never been here before, and were astonished to discover a secret garden in Paris with chairs, gra.s.s, a garden rake, a tree. Just as their expression of amazement was starting to run thin and patches of silence appeared, Abelarda, newly come from Cadiz, appeared at the door and called them to lunch. She said, "It"s ready," though that was not what Mme. Brouet had asked her to say; at least, not that way. The guests got up, without haste. They were probably as hungry as Pascal but didn"t want it to show. Abelarda went on standing, staring at the topmost leaves of the poplar, trying to remember what she ought to have said.
A few minutes later, just as they were starting to eat their melon, wasps came thudding against the table, like pebbles thrown. The adults froze, as though someone had drawn a gun. Pascal knew that sitting still was a good way to be stung. If you waved your napkin, shouted orders, the wasps might fly away. But he was not expected to give instructions; he was here, with adults, to discover how conversation is put together, how to sound interesting without being forward, amusing without seeming familiar. At that moment, Dede did an unprecedented and courageous thing: he picked up the platter of melon, crawling with wasps, and took it outside, as far as the foot of the tree. And came back to applause: at least, his sister clapped, and young Mme. Chevallier-Crochet cried, "Bravo! Bravo!"
Dede smiled, but, then, he was always smiling. His sister wished he wouldn"t; the smile gave his brother-in-law another reason for calling him Harpo. Sitting down, he seemed to become entwined with his chair. He was too tall ever to be comfortable. He needed larger chairs, tables that were both higher and wider, so that he would not b.u.mp his knees, or put his feet on the shoes of the lady sitting opposite.
Pascal"s father just said, "So, no more melon." It was something he particularly liked, and there might be none now until next summer. If Dede had asked his opinion instead of jumping up so impulsively, he might have said, "Just leave it," and taken a chance on getting stung.
Well; no more for anyone. The guests sat a little straighter, waiting for the next course: beef, veal, or mutton, or the possibility of duck. Pascal"s mother asked him to shut the French doors. She did not expect another wasp invasion, but there might be strays. Mme. Chevallier-Crochet remarked that Pascal was tall for his age, then asked what his age was. "He is almost ten," said Mme. Brouet, looking at her son with some wonder. "I can hardly believe it. I don"t understand time."
Mme. Turbin said she did not have to consult a watch to know the exact time. It must be a quarter to two now. If it was, her daughter Brigitte had just landed in Salonika. Whenever her daughter boarded a plane, Mme. Turbin accompanied her in her mind, minute by minute.
"Thessalonika," M. Turbin explained.
The Chevallier-Crochets had spent their honeymoon in Sicily. If they had it to do over again, they said, they would change their minds and go to Greece.
Mme. Brouet said they would find it very different from Sicily. Her mind was on something else entirely: Abelarda. Probably Abelarda had expected them to linger over a second helping of melon. Perhaps she was sitting in the kitchen with nothing to do, listening to a program of Spanish music on the radio. Mme. Brouet caught a wide-awake glance from her husband, interpreted it correctly, and went out to the kitchen to see.
One of the men turned to M. Brouet, wondering if he could throw some light on the election candidates: unfortunate stories were making the rounds. Pascal"s father was often asked for information. He had connections in Paris, like stout ropes attached to the upper civil service and to politics. One sister was married to a Cabinet minister"s chief of staff. Her children were taken to school in a car with a red-white-and-blue emblem. The driver could park wherever he liked. The magistrate"s grandfather had begun as a lieutenant in the cavalry and died of a heart attack the day he was appointed head of a committee to oversee war graves. His portrait, as a child on a pony, hung in the dining room. The artist was said to have copied a photograph; that was why the pony looked so stiff and the colors were wrong. The room Pascal slept in had been that child"s summer bedroom; the house had once been a suburban, almost a country dwelling. Now the road outside was like a highway; even with the doors shut they could hear Sunday traffic pouring across an intersection, on the way to Boulogne and the Saint-Cloud bridge.
The magistrate replied that he did not want to take over the whole conversation but he did feel safe in saying this: Several men, none of whom he had any use for, were now standing face to face. Sometimes he felt like washing his hands of the future. (Saying this, he slid his hands together.) However, before his guests could show shock or disappointment, he added, "But one cannot remain indifferent. This is an old country, an ancient civilization." Here his voice faded out. "We owe...One has to...A certain unbreakable loyalty..." And he placed his hands on the table, calmly, one on each side of his plate.
At that moment Mme. Brouet returned, her cheeks and forehead pink, as if she had got too close to a hot oven. Abelarda came along next, to change the plates. She was pink in the face, too.
Pascal saw the candidates lined up like rugby teams. He was allowed to watch rugby on television. His parents did not care for soccer: the players showed off, received absurd amounts of money just for kicking a ball, and there was something the matter with their shorts. "With all that money, they could buy clothes that fit," Pascal"s mother had said. Rugby players were different. They were the embodiment of action and its outcome, in an ideal form. They got muddied for love of sport. France had won the Five Nations tournament, beating even the dreaded Welsh, whose fans always set up such eerie wailing in the stands. Actually, they were trying to sing. It must have been the way the early Celts joined in song before the Roman conquest, the magistrate had told Pascal.
No one at table could have made a rugby team. They were too thin. Dede was a broomstick. Of course, Pascal played soccer at school, in a small cement courtyard. The smaller boys, aged six, seven, tried to imitate Michel Platini, but they got everything wrong. They would throw the ball high in the air and kick at nothing, leg crossed over the chest, arms spread.
The magistrate kept an eye on the dish Abelarda was now handing around: partridges in a nest of shredded cabbage an entire surprise. Pascal looked over at Dede, who sat smiling to himself, for no good reason. (If Pascal had continued to follow his father"s gaze he might be told gently, later, that one does not stare at food.) There was no more conversation to be had from M. Brouet, for the moment. Helping themselves to partridge, the guests told one another stories everybody knew. All the candidates were in a declining state of health and morality. One had to be given injections of ground-up j.a.panese seaweed; otherwise he lost consciousness, sometimes in the midst of a sentence. Others kept going on a mixture of cocaine and Vitamin C. Their private means had been acquired by investing in gay bars and foreign wars, and evicting the poor. Only the Ministry of the Interior knew the nature and extent of their undercover financial dealings. And yet some of these men had to be found better than others, if democracy was not to come to a standstill. As M. Brouet had pointed out, one cannot wash one"s hands of the future.
The magistrate had begun to breathe evenly and deeply. Perhaps the sunlight beating on the panes of the shut doors made him feel drowsy.
"etienne is never quite awake or asleep," said his wife, meaning it as a compliment.
She was proud of everyone related to her, even by marriage, and took pride in her father, who had run away from home and family to live in New Caledonia. He had shown spirit and a sense of initiative, like Dede with the wasps. (Now that Pascal is fourteen, he has heard this often.) But pride is not the same as helpless love. The person she loved best, in that particular way, was Dede.
Dede had come to stay with the Brouets because his mother, Pascal"s grandmother, no longer knew what to do with him. He was never loud or abrupt, never forced an opinion on anyone, but he could not be left without guidance even though he could vote, and was old enough to do some of the things he did, such as sign his mother"s name to a check. (Admittedly, only once.) This was his second visit; the first, last spring, had not sharpened his character, in spite of his brother-in-law"s conversation, his sister"s tender anxiety, the sense of purpose to be gained by walking his little nephew to school. Sent home to Colmar (firm handshake with the magistrate at the Gare de l"Est, tears and chocolates from his sister, presentation of an original drawing from Pascal), he had accidentally set fire to his mother"s kitchen, then to his own bedclothes. Accidents, the insurance people had finally agreed, but they were not too pleased. His mother was at the present time under treatment for exhaustion, with a private nurse to whom she made expensive presents. She had about as much money sense as Harpo, the magistrate said. (Without lifting his head from his homework, Pascal could take in nearly everything uttered in the hall, on the stairs, and in two adjacent rooms.) When they were all four at breakfast Mme. Brouet repeated her brother"s name in every second sentence: wondering if Dede wanted more toast, if someone would please pa.s.s him the strawberry jam, if he had enough blankets on his bed, if he needed an extra key. (He was a great loser of keys.) The magistrate examined his three morning papers. He did not want to have to pa.s.s anything to Harpo. Mme. Brouet was really just speaking to herself.
That autumn, Dede worked at a correspondence course, in preparation for a compet.i.tive civil-service examination. If he was among the first dozen, eliminating perhaps hundreds of clever young men and women, he would be eligible for a post in the nation"s railway system. His work would be indoors, of course; no one expected him to be out in all weathers, trudging alongside the tracks, looking for something to repair. Great artists, leaders of honor and reputation, had got their start at a desk in a railway office. Pascal"s mother, whenever she said this, had to pause, as she searched her mind for their names. The railway had always been a seedbed of outstanding careers, she would continue. She would then point out to Dede that their father had been a supervisor of public works.
After breakfast Dede wound a long scarf around his neck and walked Pascal to school. He had invented an apartment with movable walls. Everything one needed could be got within reach by pulling a few levers or pressing a b.u.t.ton. You could spend your life in the middle of a room without having to stir. He and Pascal refined the invention; that was what they talked about, on the way to Pascal"s school. Then Dede came home and studied until lunchtime. In the afternoon he drew new designs of his idea. Perhaps he was lonely. The doctor looking after his mother had asked him not to call or write, for the moment.
Pascal"s mother believed Dede needed a woman friend, even though he was not ready to get married. Pascal heard her say, "Art and science, architecture, culture." These were the factors that could change Dede"s life, and to which he would find access through the right kind of woman. Mme. Brouet had someone in mind Mlle. Turbin, who held a position of some responsibility in a travel agency. She was often sent abroad to rescue visitors or check their complaints. Today"s lunch had been planned around her, but at the last minute she had been called to Greece, where a tourist, bitten by a dog, had received an emergency specific for rabies, and believed the Greeks were trying to kill him.
Her parents had come, nevertheless. It was a privilege to meet the magistrate and to visit a rare old house, one of the last of its kind still in private hands. Before lunch Mme. Turbin had asked to be shown around. Mme. Brouet conducted a tour for the women, taking care not to open the door to Dede"s room: there had been a fire in a wastepaper basket only a few hours before, and everything in there was charred or singed or soaked.
At lunch, breaking out of politics, M. Turbin described the treatment the tourist in Salonika had most probably received: it was the same the world over, and incurred the use of a long needle. He held out his knife, to show the approximate length.
"Stop!" cried Mme. Chevallier-Crochet. She put her napkin over her nose and mouth; all they could see was her wild eyes. Everyone stopped eating, forks suspended all but the magistrate, who was pushing aside shreds of cabbage to get at the last of the partridge.
M. Chevallier-Crochet explained that his wife was afraid of needles. He could not account for it; he had not known her as a child. It seemed to be a singular fear, one that set her apart. Meantime, his wife closed her eyes; opened them, though not as wide as before; placed her napkin neatly across her lap; and swallowed a piece of bread.
M. Turbin said he was sorry. He had taken it for granted that any compatriot of the great Louis Pasteur must have seen a needle or two. Needles were only a means to an end.
Mme. Brouet glanced at her husband, pleading for help, but he had just put a bite of food into his mouth. He was always last to be served when there were guests, and everything got to him cold. That was probably why he ate in such a hurry. He shrugged, meaning, Change the subject.
"Pascal," she said, turning to him. At last, she thought of something to say: "Do you remember Mlle. Turbin? Charlotte Turbin?"
"Brigitte?" said Pascal.
"I"m sure you remember," she said, not listening at all. "In the travel agency, on Rue Caumartin?"
"She gave me the corrida poster," said Pascal, wondering how this had slipped her mind.
"We went to see her, you and I, the time we wanted to go to Egypt? Now do you remember?"
"We never went to Egypt."
"No. Papa couldn"t get away just then, so we finally went back to Deauville, where Papa has so many cousins. So you do remember Mlle. Turbin, with the pretty auburn hair?"
"Chestnut," said the two Turbins, together.
"My sister," said Dede, all of a sudden, indicating her with his left hand, the right clutching a winegla.s.s. "Before she got married, my mother told me..." The story, whatever it was, engulfed him in laughter. "A dog tried to bite her," he managed to say.
"You can tell us about it another time," said his sister.
He continued to laugh, softly, just to himself, while Abelarda changed the plates again.
The magistrate examined his clean new plate. No immediate surprises: salad, another plate, cheese, a dessert plate. His wife had given up on Mlle. Turbin. Really, it was his turn now, her silence said.
"I may have mentioned this before," said the magistrate. "And I would not wish to keep saying the same things over and over. But I wonder if you agree that the pivot of French politics today is no longer in France."
"The Middle East," said M. Turbin, nodding his head.
"Washington," said M. Chevallier-Crochet. "Washington calls Paris every morning and says, Do this, Do that."
"The Middle East and the Soviet Union," said M. Turbin.
"There," said M. Brouet. "We are all in agreement."
Many of the magistrate"s relatives and friends thought he should be closer to government, to power. But his wife wanted him to stay where he was and get his pension. After he retired, when Pascal was grown, they would visit Tibet and the north of China, and winter in Kashmir.
"You know, this morning " said Dede, getting on with something that was on his mind.
"Another time," said his sister. "Never mind about this morning. It is all forgotten. etienne is speaking, now."
This morning! The guests had no idea, couldn"t begin to imagine what had taken place, here, in the dining room, at this very table. Dede had announced, overjoyed, "I"ve got my degree." For Dede was taking a correspondence course that could not lead to a degree of any kind. It must have been just his way of trying to stop studying so that he could go home.
"Degree?" The magistrate folded yesterday"s Le Monde Le Monde carefully before putting it down. "What do you mean, degree?" carefully before putting it down. "What do you mean, degree?"
Pascal"s mother got up to make fresh coffee. "I"m glad to hear it, Dede," she said.
"A degree in what?" said the magistrate.
Dede shrugged, as if no one had bothered to tell him. "It came just the other day," he said. "I"ve got my degree, and now I can go home."
"Is there something you could show us?"
"There was just a letter, and I lost it," said Dede. "A real diploma costs two thousand francs. I don"t know where I"d find the money."
The magistrate did not seem to disbelieve; that was because of his training. But then he said, "You began your course about a month ago?"
"I had been thinking about it for a long time," said Dede.
"And now they have awarded you a degree. You are perfectly right it"s time you went home. You can take the train tonight. I"ll call your mother."
Pascal"s mother returned carrying a large white coffeepot. "I wonder where your first job will be," she said.
Why were she and her brother so remote from things as they are? Perhaps because of their mother, the grandmother in Colmar. Once, she had taken Pascal by the chin and tried to force him to look her in the eye. She had done it to her children. Pascal knows, now, that you cannot have your chin held in a vise and undividedly meet a blue stare. Somewhere at the back of the mind is a second self with eyes tight shut. Dede and his sister could seem to meet any glance, even the magistrate"s when he was being most nearly wide awake. They seemed to be listening, but the person he thought he was talking to, trying to reach the heart of, was deaf and blind. Pascal"s mother listens when she needs to know what might happen next.
All Pascal understood, for the moment, was that when Dede had mentioned taking a degree, he was saying something he merely wished were true.
"We"ll probably never see you, once you start to work," said Pascal"s mother, pouring Dede"s coffee.
The magistrate looked as if such great good luck was not to be expected. Abelarda, who had gone upstairs to make the beds, screamed from the head of the staircase that Dede"s room was full of smoke.
Abelarda moved slowly around the table carrying a plum tart, purple and gold, caramelized all over its surface, and a bowl of cream. Mme. Turbin glanced at the tart and shook her head no: M. Turbin was not allowed sugar now, and she had got out of the habit of eating desserts. It seemed unfair to tempt him.
It was true, her husband said. She had even given up making sweets, on his account. He described her past achievements her famous chocolate mousse with candied bitter orange peel, her celebrated pineapple flan.