"Information? That"s all? You came all this way for some facts?"
Cate nodded. "When Julius Caesar defeated Gaul, he believed in order to destroy and subjugate the people, he need only kill the spirit of his prisoners. That spirit, Jessie, lies within the breast of the Druids.
We are the keepers of the way."
"I"m afraid I know absolutely nothing about Caesar or Druids, or anything for that matter. If you came looking for the cavalry, I"m afraid you"ve ended up with someone riding a donkey."
Lightly touching Jessie"s shoulder, Cate continued. "Perhaps you do not know much at the moment, but soon, you shall. Unless-oh my."
"What? Unless what?"
Inhaling deeply, Cate continued. "Our way is of oral tradition. It is largely against our laws to write down our rituals and ceremonies. If the Romans succeed in destroying us, it is quite likely they also erased any evidence as to our existence."
"Could that really happen?"
"More than you know. The victors write history, Jessie, not the vanquished. Ask anyone about the greatest female pharaoh of all time, and you"ll see what I mean."
Jessie leaned back, her hands cupped around her knees. "It"s just- so sad to think that your people could actually be forgotten, erased from the memory of humankind. And I"m no help at because I"m an *
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idiot from the future who doesn"t know a G.o.dd.a.m.ned thing."
Cate leaned closer to Jessie, her red hair falling across one shoulder.
"It is not so important what you do not know, as it is what you are willing to learn. If there is memory of our existence in your time, you may be able to help us save ourselves."
Jessie nodded. "Tell me what I need to do."
Cate fully faced Jessie now. For an instant, she just looked into Jessie"s eyes as if probing her. "I am proud that it is you who now carries my soul within you, Jessie. I know it is difficult to see right now, but you carry with you far more wisdom than you could ever imagine. Buried deep within you are visions, dreams, thoughts, experiences of worlds so beautiful, you might someday risk returning to them."
"How?"
"You have the portal, and it allows you to come and go. Someday, if you ever know how to control it, you might even learn how to come and go at will. You could see places that have ceased to exist, visit people who have yet to be born, and learn all there is to learn from the very soul your body houses."
"Whoa. How cool would that be?"
"But you must be careful with this knowledge, Jessie. It is just as easy for an evil soul to step into the portal as it is for a kind soul such as yours. Time is not a power to be harnessed or truly understood. Time is something you can learn from, and respect; it is a tool with endless capabilities. You must not view it as a toy or the G.o.ddess will take it from you."
"G.o.ddess?"
Cate sighed. There was so much Jessie did not understand. "There is not time for me to explain what takes us twenty years to learn, but I can tell you that the G.o.ddess chose you to slip back and forth along the time stream, and she makes no mistakes. It is an awesome power at your fingertips. Abuse it at your peril."
Jessie nodded. "Understood. I may not know much, Cate, and I might seem pretty d.a.m.ned inadequate right now, but I"m ready to learn. I"m ready to do whatever you need me to do."
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Cate inched forward. Her eyes were now a deep emerald and they flickered with intensity. "We need to know exactly when the Romans attacked us, and what the final outcome was. What became of the Druids and the clans and tribes we served. Where did we go? How did we get there? What happened after they attacked us?"
Jessie studied Cate for a moment. There was that other thing she had seen in her earlier. It was that unspoken thing that hung in the air between them. It was a feeling so deep, so incredibly potent, Jessie recognized it even though she had never experienced it before. "That"s not all this is about is it? There"s more to this than just the Romans attacking you. This has something to do with Maeve, doesn"t it?"
Cate"s eyes watered and she quickly looked away. It took a second for her to compose herself before she returned her still-tearful gaze to Jessie. "Do you know what having the sight means?"
Jessie nodded. "Finally, something I do know. It means being able to see into the future."
"Close. It means being able to see that which has not yet occurred.
I have had a sight-a horrible vision of Maeve being-captured by the Roman guards and-"
"I"ve seen that!"
Cate went white. "What?"
"I saw that sight. That"s how I know Maeve has something to do with it. She was captured and you-well-she was being overtaken by a Roman."
Cate wiped the tears from her eyes. "Lachlan has had the same vision, only in it, Maeve is-tortured by the Romans."
"If we"ve all seen it, does that mean it happened?"
"Not necessarily. Remember-time is not linear. Just because we see it doesn"t mean that it happens or will happen in our time."
"Does she know? Has she had the vision?"
Cate shook her head. "Not that we know of. One"s sight usually precludes seeing things about our own lives. That would be too difficult for even the strongest of priestesses. Lachlan and I doubt she has seen this one. If she did, she would get as far away from me as she could in order to protect me, and that has not been the case. This time, *
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it is our job to protect her."
Jessie nodded. Suddenly, she felt much older than seventeen, and, for once, somewhat wiser. "Your feelings for Maeve are what touch me the deepest, Cate. I know there"s nothing you wouldn"t do to protect her."
"Nothing," Cate said softly, staring into Jessie"s eyes.
Jessie gazed deeply into Cate"s emerald eyes and asked a question she hadn"t even known she was thinking. "Are you two-lovers?"
Cate c.o.c.ked her head sideways. "Lovers. That word is too bound up in the physical connection between two people. Maeve and I mean far more to each other than what that singular word can convey."
Jessie tilted her head to match Cate"s. "Is that a yes or a no?"
"If you are asking if Maeve and I share our bodies with each other, the answer is yes, but that is such a tiny thing compared to her being my anam cara. " She waited to see if recognition registered in Jessie"s eyes. When it didn"t, she continued. "We believe that our anam cara always sees our light, our beauty, our very best traits. Our anam cara accepts us for who we truly are. The anam cara love awakens the fullness and mystery of life. We are joined in an ancient and eternal union that moves across all barriers of time, convention, philosophy and form. In this life, Maeve and I are both women and Druids. That may not be so in the next life, but that does not mean we won"t still find each other."
Jessie was silent for a moment before barely uttering, "Wow."
Cate nodded. "It is quite special."
"I"ll say. Then I say we keep you guys together at any cost."
Cate rose and wrapped her arms around Jessie. "Thank you so much."
Jessie pulled away and wiped Cate"s face. "Cate, I am you, and the depth of your feelings for Maeve resounds through every cell in my body. Every day, I feel it more and more. She lives in me as surely as she does in you."
Cate rose. "I am not surprised you are capable of sensing her importance to me and my life. After all, you have residual memories and emotions from me."
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"Even time can"t overcome love, can it?"
Cate shook her head. "Not in my world, no. Perhaps, not in yours as well. Without Maeve and Lachlan, I would be so alone. When my parents died, they stepped in and helped me learn how to handle being alone in the world. But I wasn"t alone for long, because Maeve never left my side. My grief was immeasurable, but she gave me a place to call home." Cate smiled softly. "I"ll never be alone as long as she lives.
She and I have spent lifetimes together, and, the G.o.ddess willing, will continue to do so."
"You"re really lucky."
"Luck is not something we put any faith in, Jessie. The world is full of magic, of alchemy, of transformations the human mind can only marvel at. Lachlan has shown me much about the laws of attraction and the way the world can be. He is a brilliant teacher."
"Tell me about him. Who is this guy?"
"Lachlan is the chief Druid of the Silurians. He is the one who allowed me to join when Maeve requested it of him. He is a very powerful Druid, with many influential friends to the east. He and the Druids of the Iceni have a communication system that keeps us apprised of what is happening in Londinium. We know when boats come and go, and we know that the governor has been building up his troops."
Jessie nodded sadly. "So, Lachlan is your spiritual leader."
"Yes."
"Okay. So far, so good. What I"m wondering is this: if I tell you what the outcome was, won"t you change history by not doing what history says you did?" Her head starting hurting again.
Cate frowned, her brows nearly touching. "This is where it becomes a bit more difficult to understand from your side. What you read about has happened. We cannot change what has already occurred. However, and this is the tricky part, it happened that way because of what transpired here."
"I don"t follow."
Cate looked around and picked up a stick. With the wave of her other hand, she created a fire at the end of the stick. Jessie sat up and *
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started to say something, but Cate cut her off. "We are in a dream state, Jessie. It is not magic."
"Oh." Jessie felt her face flush.
"See how this is flaming? In the future, if you write about it, you will say that the stick burned to this last knot. Now, if I go into the future and see what you wrote, I can come here and put the fire out when it reaches its last knot."
Jessie nodded, remembering Cate"s and Ceara"s words. "Time isn"t linear."
"No, it is not. The portal has always existed, and people have always been able to slip in and out. The future often happens the way it happens because we mean for it to be that way. If I could change what happens in your time, then that would mean time is on a line, and it is not. I cannot change what your time says happened, but I can work around it in mine."
Jessie"s head was really beginning to pound. "So if you know what happens during the invasion-"
"We may be able to save many more lives by going where the Romans are not. People will die, lives will be lost just as your history may record. How many lives lost is entirely up to the people in my time."
"Okay, I think I get it. We can"t change what has happened . . .
because we may actually be the cause of what has happened. Is that right?"
Cate appeared relieved. "Yes. Lachlan wants to save as many lives as he can, and I, well, the G.o.ddess may not be too pleased with me at the moment, but I am trying to prevent Maeve from suffering."
"Absolutely." Rising, Jessie picked up a stick and waved her hand at it but nothing happened, so she tossed it in the fire. "I"ll do my best, Cate. You know I will."
"Time is our enemy, Jessie, and I will answer all your questions in time. Suetonius Paulinus, the governor, is mounting his men for an attack, and we fear that he is following along the lines of Caesar, and will attempt, not only to drive us out, but to destroy us entirely. He fears the people of this land, especially our leaders; the Druids."
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Jessie inhaled deeply, puffing her chest out and feeling big. "Then let"s save as many as we can."
Cate reached out and took Jessie"s hand in hers. "Thank you. Thank you so very much, and remember, you are not alone. I am with you.
Always. If you need answers, you need not always come through the portal for them. I am you. You are I. We are within each other now and always."
"I"ll keep that in the front of my mind, Cate. I swear."
"Good. And remember . . . time is of the essence. We have it not to waste."
"Then we won"t. You take care of Maeve. I"ll do what I can on my end." With that, Jessie turned from Cate, and suddenly found herself back in her own time.
Unfortunately for Jessie, that time consisted of a two-o"clock appointment with a shrink she had no desire to see. Already, Jessie could feel the grains of sand running through the hourgla.s.s as she entered Dr.
Leslie Uhl"s office for the first, and hopefully, the last time.
"Hi, Jessie, have a seat." Dr. Uhl, a tall, fortyish woman with long, straight brown hair out of the seventies, motioned for Jessie to sit in an aging brown leather chair across from her. "Your parents have told me that this is a court-ordered appointment due to an arrest you had around drug use in California."
Jessie shrugged. "Then I guess it is." She hated shrinks. "That bust happened almost a year ago. I did a half a stint at a drug rehab and haven"t needed therapy since. I don"t need rehab or therapy now."
"Really?" Dr. Uhl asked, writing something down on her pad.
Jessie nodded. "I"m not using drugs, I haven"t been in trouble with the cops and I"m finally starting to get my life together. I don"t need therapy." Jessie shrugged. "That just about sums it up."
"Well, that"s a good place to start. Your parents tell me they"re worried about the friends you"ve chosen for yourself here."
"My parents worry too much."
"Why do you suppose?"
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