230 *231.
Jessie shook her head. "I have no idea."
"Neither do I, but it can"t be good."
"So you never tried."
"And I never will. I know that I no longer exist in sixty-one AD, and I have no desire to return to a decaying corpse."
"So you came to save the Silures, but Rome did not destroy them."
"There were many more questers than just I, just as there are more portals to more times. Still, in fifty-seven AD Emperor Nero pa.s.sed a law prohibiting the practice of our craft. Many of us were persecuted in an attempt to frighten the people away from the belief. I was chosen by our priest to come through because I was a very powerful and wise priestess, and the best choice at the time."
"But you left only nine years ago."
Ceara grinned softly. "Time is not linear, remember? When you"re in the portal ten minutes, it"s quite possible that ten years could go by."
Jessie remembered the second time she came out of the portal, and a wall she thought Daniel had already painted hadn"t been as yet. She"d figured she"d made a mistake. Now she knew the truth.
Ceara walked over to the couch near the large plate-gla.s.s window and sat down. "It was almost good enough knowing that he lived to manhood."
Jessie joined Ceara on the couch and balanced her mug on her thigh. "I wish I had more to tell you about him, but he remains pretty much a mystery to Cate."
Ceara nodded, sipping her tea. "That was always his way. I"m not surprised. Even as a little boy, he was always within himself. How did your conversation with them end?"
"You mean in the Dreamworld?"
Ceara nodded and patted Jessie"s thigh. "You"re going to make a splendid Druid."
Leaning back with her tea in her hand, Jessie grinned and finished the story.
232 *233.
"She"s what?" Jessie felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach.
"She"s Lachlan"s mother? "
Cate stared at Maeve, who did not take those haunting eyes off Jessie.
"Apparently she has not told you. What do you know of this Ceara woman, Jessie?"
Jessie told Maeve everything she knew about Ceara; from the first moment they met to her refusal to enter the portal. When she was done, Maeve finally looked away, leaving Jessie feeling slightly dizzy.
"It is she," Maeve whispered, sitting on one of the rocks. The bonfire leapt and crackled. "No wonder you have had such an easier time of it, Catie. You two have the help of a woman who was once one of the greatest healers on the island. People came from as far as Gaul to be healed by Ceara."
"She"s a healer?"
Maeve nodded and motioned for Cate and Jessie to sit. "Not just a healer, but a very powerful priestess who loved those in her village so much, she would let none other than herself pa.s.s through the portal.
Lachlan, I"ve heard, howled for days after her death, and all of Fennel mourned her loss and saw it as an ill omen that they ought to leave the portal be."
"Will you tell him?" Cate asked, reaching for Maeve"s hand.
Maeve stared into the fire and sighed. "I do not know that it is my business to tell him. Perhaps, Jessie, when the great battle is over and life begins anew, you can return one last time and let Catie know what Ceara would like done. It is, after all, her decision."
Jessie"s eyebrows knitted together. "One more time? You make it sound as if this is the last time I"ll see you."
Maeve glanced over at Cate before replying. "Slipping through the thin fabric of time, as Ceara has shown, is truly very dangerous. We were not meant to leave our realm in search of a better future or more interesting past. The portal is a tool-and as with all tools, it could also be used as a weapon to be used against tyrants, against injustices, against those who would persecute and deny a people the right to exist.
When the war is over, Catie must go on with her studies. She will live *
232 *233.
out her life in this realm, for better or worse, until her last breath sends her elsewhere. She has a life to live and that does not include risking it traveling to other ages." Maeve paused and turned back to Jessie.
"And you, you have a life to live in your time. There is so much for you to learn, for you to do, for you to be. You cannot, you will not spend it going in and out of time, risking what Ceara risked, taking your present life for granted. You must swear that when this is done, you will return to your life and forget the portal exists unless called again."
"Forget? How can I forget something as huge as this?"
Maeve smiled softly and took Jessie"s hand so the three of them created a circle. "Perhaps forget is the wrong term. Ignore would be better. Jessie, you have done so well, but you must live. You must return to a life and learn the lessons Ceara can teach you. Do you understand?"
Jessie felt her eyes well up with tears. They were her friends and yet-she had to let them go? Never to see them again? It didn"t seem fair.
"Have you made plans for getting off the island?"
Maeve nodded. "Even as we speak, we are moving boats to the east side of the isle as you suggested. We may not save everyone, but with your help, we will save many more than without it."
"I just wish I could know how it all turns out."
"You have the ability to access Cate"s memories, as well as all of those who have come after. If you learn how to hear those voices, there is nothing you won"t be able to do or know. You have Ceara. What you will not have is a good life in your time if you are not present in it. I am asking you to be present in your own life and let Cate be present in hers."
"I-understand, but-"
"Your life will forever be changed by this experience with us, as will ours, but you must be wise now beyond your years and stay in your time."
Jessie had no idea what to say. Was this how her destiny began or how it ended? Was her purpose over so soon?
"No, Jessie, your purpose has only just begun, but it is not to linger *
234 *235.
in the Dreamworld with Cate. Your destiny, the path you are on, is just the beginning of your life. Your mind is now open, your body young, and your spirit forever changed. Do not be sad at this pa.s.sing. Instead, rejoice that we have shared and that you now know Catie is within you."
"But how will I ever know if you survived Mona?"
"You may never know. Perhaps it is better that way. You carry within your breast the heart of a warrior, the spirit of a Druid and the mind of a bard. Call on them when you need them. For if you reach down deep enough, you will touch Catie"s light and she will always show you the way." Reaching up, Maeve touched Jessie"s cheek with her palm. It was hot; Jessie felt the heat all over her. "And remember, no matter where you go, you will find me, or I, as I did in our time, will find you."
"You mean-"
Maeve grinned and nodded. "I am out there, Jessie. We just have not met yet." With that, Maeve touched her shoulder before standing at the edge of the mist. "We will meet again, Jessie Ferguson. This, I promise you." Turning, Maeve disappeared into the mist. For a long time, both women stared at the misty opening as it slowly closed around her.
"Will I know?" Jessie asked softly.
Cate nodded. "I did. The moment I saw her, something happened within me. I knew."
"Immediately?"
Cate shook her head. "In a heartbeat or two, but you"ll know. We"ll know. I"ll help you know."
Sighing, Jessie walked over to Cate and hugged her tightly. "You"ve become a good friend to me. I"m not very good at goodbyes and I wish this wasn"t one."
"You have done a great thing, Jessie. Tomorrow, we will head to Mona to see how many lives we can save. I will do my best to make you proud."
Jessie nodded. "And Maeve? Will you be able to save her?"
"I shall or I will die trying."
As Jessie stepped away, she could barely believe the hollow emptiness *
234 *235.
inside; the pain of a goodbye far more excruciating than when she left San Francisco. "Then I guess I have to just walk away believing the two of you die a very old age. It"s the only way I can leave and live my life without wondering every day if you made it-if you"re safe and happy."
Cate nodded, but then her face changed, like one who just got a great idea. "Do you know where Mona is in your time?"
Jessie nodded. "It"s called Anglesey now."
"Close your eyes."
Jessie did and immediately saw a stone structure much like Stonehenge.
"See it?"
"Yes."
"Do you see a very large, white rock about the size of two horses off to the side of the henge beneath a large oak tree?"
Jessie nodded.
"Open your eyes."
When she did, Cate was removing the ankh from around her neck.
"If we live through this, both of us, then I will bury this ankh an arm"s length beneath that rock on the western side. I do not know if it will be there two thousand years from now, but if it is, then you will know."
Jessie realized, for the first time, that Cate had made the a.s.sumption that Jessie was in England or Wales, and it was no wonder. In Cate"s time, there was no America. Columbus and the New World were a good fourteen hundred years away.
"I"ll find it."
"Thank you, Jessie, for answering my call. I promise I will live my life befitting one who has shown such courage. You are a wonderful person, and I am proud to know that you are who I become so far into the future."
"I"ll miss you, Cate." Jessie shook her head and wiped her eyes.
"More than you will ever know. You, my little priestess friend, are the very best of me." With that, Jessie found herself back in the inn.
236 *237.
"Oh, my dear," Ceara said, patting Jessie"s thigh. "That must have been very difficult for you."
"Like someone had ripped my heart out and squashed it into the ground." Jessie turned to fully face her friend. "But you know how that feels, don"t you?"
Ceara nodded. "And then some."
For a long, silent pa.s.sing, as the sun set, and dusk sprinkled new colors on the horizon, Jessie and Ceara sat sipping their tea, both feeling a unique sense of loss that happens when you"re beyond the point of no return.
"Do you think the ankh could still be there after all these years?"
Ceara"s face lit up. "I have a great picture book of Wales. Why don"t I go get it and we can see if the stones still stand?"
Jessie"s exuberance matched Ceara"s. "Would you? G.o.d, if I could know that they made it, it wouldn"t hurt so much having to say goodbye. I can"t stand the thought of not knowing, of wondering if I made a difference at all."
"Of course you made a difference. You mustn"t ever believe otherwise."
Jessie sighed loudly. "I guess it"s done then. I mean, there"s nothing else we can do, right?"
Ceara patted Jessie"s shoulder. "What will you do now?"
"Go home and face the music, I guess."
"Do you think they"ll keep distrusting you?"
Jessie shrugged. "You know what they say about actions speaking louder than words? Well, I"m going to show them how much I"ve changed by going to the university and doing everything I"m supposed to do."
"That"s a great idea. Your parents truly do only want what"s best for you."
Jessie sipped her tea. "I do know that. The truth is, I have been sneaking around. They"re suspicious for a reason and I can"t really blame them for being paranoid."
"Good for you. Accountability is going to be important in your life.
You"ll be asked to do a lot more than what you did this time."