"Nay, Uncle," said Dinah, trying to be quite calm. "When I first came, I said it was only for a time, as long as I could be of any comfort to my aunt."
"Well, an" who said you"d ever left off being a comfort to me?" said Mrs. Poyser. "If you didna mean to stay wi" me, you"d better never ha" come. Them as ha" never had a cushion don"t miss it."
"Nay, nay," said Mr. Poyser, who objected to exaggerated views. "Thee mustna say so; we should ha" been ill off wi"out her, Lady day was a twelvemont". We mun be thankful for that, whether she stays or no. But I canna think what she mun leave a good home for, to go back int" a country where the land, most on"t, isna worth ten shillings an acre, rent and profits."
"Why, that"s just the reason she wants to go, as fur as she can give a reason," said Mrs. Poyser. "She says this country"s too comfortable, an" there"s too much t" eat, an" folks arena miserable enough. And she"s going next week. I canna turn her, say what I will. It"s allays the way wi" them meek-faced people; you may"s well pelt a bag o" feathers as talk to "em. But I say it isna religion, to be so obstinate--is it now, Adam?"
Adam saw that Dinah was more disturbed than he had ever seen her by any matter relating to herself, and, anxious to relieve her, if possible, he said, looking at her affectionately, "Nay, I can"t find fault with anything Dinah does. I believe her thoughts are better than our guesses, let "em be what they may. I should ha" been thankful for her to stay among us, but if she thinks well to go, I wouldn"t cross her, or make it hard to her by objecting. We owe her something different to that."
As it often happens, the words intended to relieve her were just too much for Dinah"s susceptible feelings at this moment. The tears came into the grey eyes too fast to be hidden and she got up hurriedly, meaning it to be understood that she was going to put on her bonnet.
"Mother, what"s Dinah crying for?" said Totty. "She isn"t a naughty dell."
"Thee"st gone a bit too fur," said Mr. Poyser. "We"ve no right t" interfere with her doing as she likes. An" thee"dst be as angry as could be wi" me, if I said a word against anything she did."
"Because you"d very like be finding fault wi"out reason," said Mrs. Poyser. "But there"s reason i" what I say, else I shouldna say it. It"s easy talking for them as can"t love her so well as her own aunt does. An" me got so used to her! I shall feel as uneasy as a new sheared sheep when she"s gone from me. An" to think of her leaving a parish where she"s so looked on. There"s Mr. Irwine makes as much of her as if she was a lady, for all her being a Methodist, an" wi" that maggot o" preaching in her head--G.o.d forgi"e me if I"m i" the wrong to call it so."
"Aye," said Mr. Poyser, looking jocose; "but thee dostna tell Adam what he said to thee about it one day. The missis was saying, Adam, as the preaching was the only fault to be found wi" Dinah, and Mr. Irwine says, "But you mustn"t find fault with her for that, Mrs. Poyser; you forget she"s got no husband to preach to. I"ll answer for it, you give Poyser many a good sermon." The parson had thee there," Mr. Poyser added, laughing unctuously. "I told Bartle Ma.s.sey on it, an" he laughed too."
"Yes, it"s a small joke sets men laughing when they sit a-staring at one another with a pipe i" their mouths," said Mrs. Poyser. "Give Bartle Ma.s.sey his way and he"d have all the sharpness to himself. If the chaff-cutter had the making of us, we should all be straw, I reckon. Totty, my chicken, go upstairs to cousin Dinah, and see what she"s doing, and give her a pretty kiss."
This errand was devised for Totty as a means of checking certain threatening symptoms about the corners of the mouth; for Tommy, no longer expectant of cake, was lifting up his eyelids with his forefingers and turning his eyeb.a.l.l.s towards Totty in a way that she felt to be disagreeably personal.
"You"re rare and busy now--eh, Adam?" said Mr. Poyser. "Burge"s getting so bad wi" his asthmy, it"s well if he"ll ever do much riding about again."
"Yes, we"ve got a pretty bit o" building on hand now," said Adam, "what with the repairs on th" estate, and the new houses at Treddles"on."
"I"ll bet a penny that new house Burge is building on his own bit o" land is for him and Mary to go to," said Mr. Poyser. "He"ll be for laying by business soon, I"ll warrant, and be wanting you to take to it all and pay him so much by th" "ear. We shall see you living on th" hill before another twelvemont"s over."
"Well," said Adam, "I should like t" have the business in my own hands. It isn"t as I mind much about getting any more money. We"ve enough and to spare now, with only our two selves and mother; but I should like t" have my own way about things--I could try plans then, as I can"t do now."
"You get on pretty well wi" the new steward, I reckon?" said Mr. Poyser.
"Yes, yes; he"s a sensible man enough; understands farming--he"s carrying on the draining, and all that, capital. You must go some day towards the Stonyshire side and see what alterations they"re making. But he"s got no notion about buildings. You can so seldom get hold of a man as can turn his brains to more nor one thing; it"s just as if they wore blinkers like th" horses and could see nothing o" one side of "em. Now, there"s Mr. Irwine has got notions o" building more nor most architects; for as for th" architects, they set up to be fine fellows, but the most of "em don"t know where to set a chimney so as it shan"t be quarrelling with a door. My notion is, a practical builder that"s got a bit o" taste makes the best architect for common things; and I"ve ten times the pleasure i" seeing after the work when I"ve made the plan myself."
Mr. Poyser listened with an admiring interest to Adam"s discourse on building, but perhaps it suggested to him that the building of his corn-rick had been proceeding a little too long without the control of the master"s eye, for when Adam had done speaking, he got up and said, "Well, lad, I"ll bid you good-bye now, for I"m off to the rick-yard again."
Adam rose too, for he saw Dinah entering, with her bonnet on and a little basket in her hand, preceded by Totty.
"You"re ready, I see, Dinah," Adam said; "so we"ll set off, for the sooner I"m at home the better."
"Mother," said Totty, with her treble pipe, "Dinah was saying her prayers and crying ever so."
"Hush, hush," said the mother, "little gells mustn"t chatter."
Whereupon the father, shaking with silent laughter, set Totty on the white deal table and desired her to kiss him. Mr. and Mrs. Poyser, you perceive, had no correct principles of education.
"Come back to-morrow if Mrs. Bede doesn"t want you, Dinah," said Mrs. Poyser: "but you can stay, you know, if she"s ill."
So, when the good-byes had been said, Dinah and Adam left the Hall Farm together.
Chapter L.
In the Cottage.
ADAM did not ask Dinah to take his arm when they got out into the lane. He had never yet done so, often as they had walked together, for he had observed that she never walked arm-in-arm with Seth, and he thought, perhaps, that kind of support was not agreeable to her. So they walked apart, though side by side, and the close poke of her little black bonnet hid her face from him.
"You can"t be happy, then, to make the Hall Farm your home, Dinah?" Adam said, with the quiet interest of a brother, who has no anxiety for himself in the matter. "It"s a pity, seeing they"re so fond of you."
"You know, Adam, my heart is as their heart, so far as love for them and care for their welfare goes, but they are in no present need. Their sorrows are healed, and I feel that I am called back to my old work, in which I found a blessing that I have missed of late in the midst of too abundant worldly good. I know it is a vain thought to flee from the work that G.o.d appoints us, for the sake of finding a greater blessing to our own souls, as if we could choose for ourselves where we shall find the fulness of the Divine Presence, instead of seeking it where alone it is to be found, in loving obedience. But now, I believe, I have a clear showing that my work lies elsewhere--at least for a time. In the years to come, if my aunt"s health should fail, or she should otherwise need me, I shall return."
"You know best, Dinah," said Adam. "I don"t believe you"d go against the wishes of them that love you, and are akin to you, without a good and sufficient reason in your own conscience. I"ve no right to say anything about my being sorry: you know well enough what cause I have to put you above every other friend I"ve got; and if it had been ordered so that you could ha" been my sister, and lived with us all our lives, I should ha" counted it the greatest blessing as could happen to us now. But Seth tells me there"s no hope o" that: your feelings are different, and perhaps I"m taking too much upon me to speak about it."
Dinah made no answer, and they walked on in silence for some yards, till they came to the stone stile, where, as Adam had pa.s.sed through first and turned round to give her his hand while she mounted the unusually high step, she could not prevent him from seeing her face. It struck him with surprise, for the grey eyes, usually so mild and grave, had the bright uneasy glance which accompanies suppressed agitation, and the slight flush in her cheeks, with which she had come downstairs, was heightened to a deep rose-colour. She looked as if she were only sister to Dinah. Adam was silent with surprise and conjecture for some moments, and then he said, "I hope I"ve not hurt or displeased you by what I"ve said, Dinah. Perhaps I was making too free. I"ve no wish different from what you see to be best, and I"m satisfied for you to live thirty mile off, if you think it right. I shall think of you just as much as I do now, for you"re bound up with what I can no more help remembering than I can help my heart beating."
Poor Adam! Thus do men blunder. Dinah made no answer, but she presently said, "Have you heard any news from that poor young man, since we last spoke of him?"
Dinah always called Arthur so; she had never lost the image of him as she had seen him in the prison.
"Yes," said Adam. "Mr. Irwine read me part of a letter from him yesterday. It"s pretty certain, they say, that there"ll be a peace soon, though n.o.body believes it"ll last long; but he says he doesn"t mean to come home. He"s no heart for it yet, and it"s better for others that he should keep away. Mr. Irwine thinks he"s in the right not to come. It"s a sorrowful letter. He asks about you and the Poysers, as he always does. There"s one thing in the letter cut me a good deal: "You can"t think what an old fellow I feel," he says; "I make no schemes now. I"m the best when I"ve a good day"s march or fighting before me.""
"He"s of a rash, warm-hearted nature, like Esau, for whom I have always felt great pity," said Dinah. "That meeting between the brothers, where Esau is so loving and generous, and Jacob so timid and distrustful, notwithstanding his sense of the Divine favour, has always touched me greatly. Truly, I have been tempted sometimes to say that Jacob was of a mean spirit. But that is our trial: we must learn to see the good in the midst of much that is unlovely."
"Ah," said Adam, "I like to read about Moses best, in th" Old Testament. He carried a hard business well through, and died when other folks were going to reap the fruits. A man must have courage to look at his life so, and think what"ll come of it after he"s dead and gone. A good solid bit o" work lasts: if it"s only laying a floor down, somebody"s the better for it being done well, besides the man as does it."
They were both glad to talk of subjects that were not personal, and in this way they went on till they pa.s.sed the bridge across the Willow Brook, when Adam turned round and said, "Ah, here"s Seth. I thought he"d be home soon. Does he know of you"re going, Dinah?"
"Yes, I told him last Sabbath."
Adam remembered now that Seth had come home much depressed on Sunday evening, a circ.u.mstance which had been very unusual with him of late, for the happiness he had in seeing Dinah every week seemed long to have outweighed the pain of knowing she would never marry him. This evening he had his habitual air of dreamy benignant contentment, until he came quite close to Dinah and saw the traces of tears on her delicate eyelids and eyelashes. He gave one rapid glance at his brother, but Adam was evidently quite outside the current of emotion that had shaken Dinah: he wore his everyday look of unexpectant calm. Seth tried not to let Dinah see that he had noticed her face, and only said, "I"m thankful you"re come, Dinah, for Mother"s been hungering after the sight of you all day. She began to talk of you the first thing in the morning."
When they entered the cottage, Lisbeth was seated in her arm-chair, too tired with setting out the evening meal, a task she always performed a long time beforehand, to go and meet them at the door as usual, when she heard the approaching footsteps.
"Coom, child, thee"t coom at last," she said, when Dinah went towards her. "What dost mane by lavin" me a week an" ne"er coomin" a-nigh me?"
"Dear friend," said Dinah, taking her hand, "you"re not well. If I"d known it sooner, I"d have come."
"An" how"s thee t" know if thee dostna coom? Th" lads on"y know what I tell "em. As long as ye can stir hand and foot the men think ye"re hearty. But I"m none so bad, on"y a bit of a cold sets me achin". An" th" lads tease me so t" ha" somebody wi" me t" do the work--they make me ache worse wi" talkin". If thee"dst come and stay wi" me, they"d let me alone. The Poysers canna want thee so bad as I do. But take thy bonnet off, an" let me look at thee."
Dinah was moving away, but Lisbeth held her fast, while she was taking off her bonnet, and looked at her face as one looks into a newly gathered snowdrop, to renew the old impressions of purity and gentleness.
"What"s the matter wi" thee?" said Lisbeth, in astonishment; "thee"st been a-cryin"."
"It"s only a grief that"ll pa.s.s away," said Dinah, who did not wish just now to call forth Lisbeth"s remonstrances by disclosing her intention to leave Hayslope. "You shall know about it shortly--we"ll talk of it to-night. I shall stay with you to-night."
Lisbeth was pacified by this prospect. And she had the whole evening to talk with Dinah alone; for there was a new room in the cottage, you remember, built nearly two years ago, in the expectation of a new inmate; and here Adam always sat when he had writing to do or plans to make. Seth sat there too this evening, for he knew his mother would like to have Dinah all to herself.
There were two pretty pictures on the two sides of the wall in the cottage. On one side there was the broad-shouldered, large-featured, hardy old woman, in her blue jacket and buff kerchief, with her dim-eyed anxious looks turned continually on the lily face and the slight form in the black dress that were either moving lightly about in helpful activity, or seated close by the old woman"s arm-chair, holding her withered hand, with eyes lifted up towards her to speak a language which Lisbeth understood far better than the Bible or the hymn-book. She would scarcely listen to reading at all to-night. "Nay, nay, shut the book," she said. "We mun talk. I want t" know what thee was cryin" about. Hast got troubles o" thy own, like other folks?"
On the other side of the wall there were the two brothers so like each other in the midst of their unlikeness: Adam with knit brows, s.h.a.ggy hair, and dark vigorous colour, absorbed in his "figuring"; Seth, with large rugged features, the close copy of his brother"s, but with thin, wavy, brown hair and blue dreamy eyes, as often as not looking vaguely out of the window instead of at his book, although it was a newly bought book--Wesley"s abridgment of Madame Guyon"s life, which was full of wonder and interest for him. Seth had said to Adam, "Can I help thee with anything in here to-night? I don"t want to make a noise in the shop."
"No, lad," Adam answered, "there"s nothing but what I must do myself. Thee"st got thy new book to read."
And often, when Seth was quite unconscious, Adam, as he paused after drawing a line with his ruler, looked at his brother with a kind smile dawning in his eyes. He knew "th" lad liked to sit full o" thoughts he could give no account of; they"d never come t" anything, but they made him happy," and in the last year or so, Adam had been getting more and more indulgent to Seth. It was part of that growing tenderness which came from the sorrow at work within him.
For Adam, though you see him quite master of himself, working hard and delighting in his work after his inborn inalienable nature, had not outlived his sorrow--had not felt it slip from him as a temporary burden, and leave him the same man again. Do any of us? G.o.d forbid. It would be a poor result of all our anguish and our wrestling if we won nothing but our old selves at the end of it--if we could return to the same blind loves, the same self-confident blame, the same light thoughts of human suffering, the same frivolous gossip over blighted human lives, the same feeble sense of that Unknown towards which we have sent forth irrepressible cries in our loneliness. Let us rather be thankful that our sorrow lives in us as an indestructible force, only changing its form, as forces do, and pa.s.sing from pain into sympathy--the one poor word which includes all our best insight and our best love. Not that this transformation of pain into sympathy had completely taken place in Adam yet. There was still a great remnant of pain, and this he felt would subsist as long as her pain was not a memory, but an existing thing, which he must think of as renewed with the light of every new morning. But we get accustomed to mental as well as bodily pain, without, for all that, losing our sensibility to it. It becomes a habit of our lives, and we cease to imagine a condition of perfect ease as possible for us. Desire is chastened into submission, and we are contented with our day when we have been able to bear our grief in silence and act as if we were not suffering. For it is at such periods that the sense of our lives having visible and invisible relations, beyond any of which either our present or prospective self is the centre, grows like a muscle that we are obliged to lean on and exert.
That was Adam"s state of mind in this second autumn of his sorrow. His work, as you know, had always been part of his religion, and from very early days he saw clearly that good carpentry was G.o.d"s will--was that form of G.o.d"s will that most immediately concerned him. But now there was no margin of dreams for him beyond this daylight reality, no holiday-time in the working-day world, no moment in the distance when duty would take off her iron glove and breast-plate and clasp him gently into rest. He conceived no picture of the future but one made up of hard-working days such as he lived through, with growing contentment and intensity of interest, every fresh week. Love, he thought, could never be anything to him but a living memory--a limb lopped off, but not gone from consciousness. He did not know that the power of loving was all the while gaining new force within him; that the new sensibilities bought by a deep experience were so many new fibres by which it was possible, nay, necessary to him, that his nature should intertwine with another. Yet he was aware that common affection and friendship were more precious to him than they used to be--that he clung more to his mother and Seth, and had an unspeakable satisfaction in the sight or imagination of any small addition to their happiness. The Poysers, too--hardly three or four days pa.s.sed but he felt the need of seeing them and interchanging words and looks of friendliness with them. He would have felt this, probably, even if Dinah had not been with them, but he had only said the simplest truth in telling Dinah that he put her above all other friends in the world. Could anything be more natural? For in the darkest moments of memory the thought of her always came as the first ray of returning comfort. The early days of gloom at the Hall Farm had been gradually turned into soft moonlight by her presence; and in the cottage, too, for she had come at every spare moment to soothe and cheer poor Lisbeth, who had been stricken with a fear that subdued even her querulousness at the sight of her darling Adam"s grief-worn face. He had become used to watching her light quiet movements, her pretty loving ways to the children, when he went to the Hall Farm; to listen for her voice as for a recurrent music; to think everything she said and did was just right, and could not have been better. In spite of his wisdom, he could not find fault with her for her overindulgence of the children, who had managed to convert Dinah the preacher, before whom a circle of rough men had often trembled a little, into a convenient household slave--though Dinah herself was rather ashamed of this weakness, and had some inward conflict as to her departure from the precepts of Solomon. Yes, there was one thing that might have been better; she might have loved Seth and consented to marry him. He felt a little vexed, for his brother"s sake, and he could not help thinking regretfully how Dinah, as Seth"s wife, would have made their home as happy as it could be for them all--how she was the one being that would have soothed their mother"s last days into peacefulness and rest.
"It"s wonderful she doesn"t love th" lad," Adam had said sometimes to himself, "for anybody "ud think he was just cut out for her. But her heart"s so taken up with other things. She"s one o" those women that feel no drawing towards having a husband and children o" their own. She thinks she should be filled up with her own life then, and she"s been used so to living in other folks"s cares, she can"t bear the thought of her heart being shut up from "em. I see how it is, well enough. She"s cut out o" different stuff from most women: I saw that long ago. She"s never easy but when she"s helping somebody, and marriage "ud interfere with her ways--that"s true. I"ve no right to be contriving and thinking it "ud be better if she"d have Seth, as if I was wiser than she is--or than G.o.d either, for He made her what she is, and that"s one o" the greatest blessings I"ve ever had from His hands, and others besides me."
This self-reproof had recurred strongly to Adam"s mind when he gathered from Dinah"s face that he had wounded her by referring to his wish that she had accepted Seth, and so he had endeavoured to put into the strongest words his confidence in her decision as right--his resignation even to her going away from them and ceasing to make part of their life otherwise than by living in their thoughts, if that separation were chosen by herself. He felt sure she knew quite well enough how much he cared to see her continually--to talk to her with the silent consciousness of a mutual great remembrance. It was not possible she should hear anything but self-renouncing affection and respect in his a.s.surance that he was contented for her to go away; and yet there remained an uneasy feeling in his mind that he had not said quite the right thing--that, somehow, Dinah had not understood him.
Dinah must have risen a little before the sun the next morning, for she was downstairs about five o"clock. So was Seth, for, through Lisbeth"s obstinate refusal to have any woman-helper in the house, he had learned to make himself, as Adam said, "very handy in the housework," that he might save his mother from too great weariness; on which ground I hope you will not think him unmanly, any more than you can have thought the gallant Colonel Bath unmanly when he made the gruel for his invalid sister. Adam, who had sat up late at his writing, was still asleep, and was not likely, Seth said, to be down till breakfast-time. Often as Dinah had visited Lisbeth during the last eighteen months, she had never slept in the cottage since that night after Thias"s death, when, you remember, Lisbeth praised her deft movements and even gave a modified approval to her porridge. But in that long interval Dinah had made great advances in household cleverness, and this morning, since Seth was there to help, she was bent on bringing everything to a pitch of cleanliness and order that would have satisfied her Aunt Poyser. The cottage was far from that standard at present, for Lisbeth"s rheumatism had forced her to give up her old habits of dilettante scouring and polishing. When the kitchen was to her mind, Dinah went into the new room, where Adam had been writing the night before, to see what sweeping and dusting were needed there. She opened the window and let in the fresh morning air, and the smell of the sweet-brier, and the bright low-slanting rays of the early sun, which made a glory about her pale face and pale auburn hair as she held the long brush, and swept, singing to herself in a very low tone--like a sweet summer murmur that you have to listen for very closely--one of Charles Wesley"s hymns: Eternal Beam of Light Divine, Fountain of unexhausted love, In whom the Father"s glories shine, Through earth beneath and heaven above; Jesus! the weary wanderer"s rest, Give me thy easy yoke to bear; With steadfast patience arm my breast, With spotless love and holy fear.
Speak to my warring pa.s.sions, "Peace!" Say to my trembling heart, "Be still!" Thy power my strength and fortress is, For all things serve thy sovereign will.
She laid by the brush and took up the duster; and if you had ever lived in Mrs. Poyser"s household, you would know how the duster behaved in Dinah"s hand--how it went into every small corner, and on every ledge in and out of sight--how it went again and again round every bar of the chairs, and every leg, and under and over everything that lay on the table, till it came to Adam"s papers and rulers and the open desk near them. Dinah dusted up to the very edge of these and then hesitated, looking at them with a longing but timid eye. It was painful to see how much dust there was among them. As she was looking in this way, she heard Seth"s step just outside the open door, towards which her back was turned, and said, raising her clear treble, "Seth, is your brother wrathful when his papers are stirred?"
"Yes, very, when they are not put back in the right places," said a deep strong voice, not Seth"s.
It was as if Dinah had put her hands unawares on a vibrating chord. She was shaken with an intense thrill, and for the instant felt nothing else; then she knew her cheeks were glowing, and dared not look round, but stood still, distressed because she could not say good-morning in a friendly way. Adam, finding that she did not look round so as to see the smile on his face, was afraid she had thought him serious about his wrathfulness, and went up to her, so that she was obliged to look at him.
"What! You think I"m a cross fellow at home, Dinah?" he said, smilingly.
"Nay," said Dinah, looking up with timid eyes, "not so. But you might be put about by finding things meddled with; and even the man Moses, the meekest of men, was wrathful sometimes."
"Come, then," said Adam, looking at her affectionately, "I"ll help you move the things, and put "em back again, and then they can"t get wrong. You"re getting to be your aunt"s own niece, I see, for particularness."
They began their little task together, but Dinah had not recovered herself sufficiently to think of any remark, and Adam looked at her uneasily. Dinah, he thought, had seemed to disapprove him somehow lately; she had not been so kind and open to him as she used to be. He wanted her to look at him, and be as pleased as he was himself with doing this bit of playful work. But Dinah did not look at him--it was easy for her to avoid looking at the tall man--and when at last there was no more dusting to be done and no further excuse for him to linger near her, he could bear it no longer, and said, in rather a pleading tone, "Dinah, you"re not displeased with me for anything, are you? I"ve not said or done anything to make you think ill of me?"
The question surprised her, and relieved her by giving a new course to her feeling. She looked up at him now, quite earnestly, almost with the tears coming, and said, "Oh, no, Adam! how could you think so?"
"I couldn"t bear you not to feel as much a friend to me as I do to you," said Adam. "And you don"t know the value I set on the very thought of you, Dinah. That was what I meant yesterday, when I said I"d be content for you to go, if you thought right. I meant, the thought of you was worth so much to me, I should feel I ought to be thankful, and not grumble, if you see right to go away. You know I do mind parting with you, Dinah?"
"Yes, dear friend," said Dinah, trembling, but trying to speak calmly, "I know you have a brother"s heart towards me, and we shall often be with one another in spirit; but at this season I am in heaviness through manifold temptations. You must not mark me. I feel called to leave my kindred for a while; but it is a trial--the flesh is weak."
Adam saw that it pained her to be obliged to answer.
"I hurt you by talking about it, Dinah," he said. "I"ll say no more. Let"s see if Seth"s ready with breakfast now."
That is a simple scene, reader. But it is almost certain that you, too, have been in love--perhaps, even, more than once, though you may not choose to say so to all your feminine friends. If so, you will no more think the slight words, the timid looks, the tremulous touches, by which two human souls approach each other gradually, like two little quivering rain-streams, before they mingle into one--you will no more think these things trivial than you will think the first-detected signs of coming spring trivial, though they be but a faint indescribable something in the air and in the song of the birds, and the tiniest perceptible budding on the hedge-row branches. Those slight words and looks and touches are part of the soul"s language; and the finest language, I believe, is chiefly made up of unimposing words, such as "light," "sound," "stars," "music"--words really not worth looking at, or hearing, in themselves, any more than "chips" or "sawdust." It is only that they happen to be the signs of something unspeakably great and beautiful. I am of opinion that love is a great and beautiful thing too, and if you agree with me, the smallest signs of it will not be chips and sawdust to you: they will rather be like those little words, "light" and "music," stirring the long-winding fibres of your memory and enriching your present with your most precious past.
Chapter LI.
Sunday Morning.
LISBETH"S touch of rheumatism could not be made to appear serious enough to detain Dinah another night from the Hall Farm, now she had made up her mind to leave her aunt so soon, and at evening the friends must part. "For a long while," Dinah had said, for she had told Lisbeth of her resolve.
"Then it"ll be for all my life, an" I shall ne"er see thee again," said Lisbeth. "Long while! I"n got no long while t" live. An" I shall be took bad an" die, an" thee canst ne"er come a-nigh me, an" I shall die a-longing for thee."
That had been the key-note of her wailing talk all day; for Adam was not in the house, and so she put no restraint on her complaining. She had tried poor Dinah by returning again and again to the question, why she must go away; and refusing to accept reasons, which seemed to her nothing but whim and "contrairiness"; and still more, by regretting that she "couldna" ha" one o" the lads" and be her daughter.
"Thee couldstna put up wi" Seth," she said. "He isna cliver enough for thee, happen, but he"d ha" been very good t" thee--he"s as handy as can be at doin" things for me when I"m bad, an" he"s as fond o" the Bible an" chappellin" as thee art thysen. But happen, thee"dst like a husband better as isna just the cut o" thysen: the runnin" brook isna athirst for th" rain. Adam "ud ha" done for thee--I know he would--an" he might come t" like thee well enough, if thee"dst stop. But he"s as stubborn as th" iron bar--there"s no bending him no way but"s own. But he"d be a fine husband for anybody, be they who they will, so looked-on an" so cliver as he is. And he"d be rare an" lovin": it does me good on"y a look o" the lad"s eye when he means kind tow"rt me."
Dinah tried to escape from Lisbeth"s closest looks and questions by finding little tasks of housework that kept her moving about, and as soon as Seth came home in the evening she put on her bonnet to go. It touched Dinah keenly to say the last good-bye, and still more to look round on her way across the fields and see the old woman still standing at the door, gazing after her till she must have been the faintest speck in the dim aged eyes. "The G.o.d of love and peace be with them," Dinah prayed, as she looked back from the last stile. "Make them glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted them, and the years wherein they have seen evil. It is thy will that I should part from them; let me have no will but thine."
Lisbeth turned into the house at last and sat down in the workshop near Seth, who was busying himself there with fitting some bits of turned wood he had brought from the village into a small work-box, which he meant to give to Dinah before she went away.
"Thee"t see her again o" Sunday afore she goes," were her first words. "If thee wast good for anything, thee"dst make her come in again o" Sunday night wi" thee, and see me once more."
"Nay, Mother," said Seth. "Dinah "ud be sure to come again if she saw right to come. I should have no need to persuade her. She only thinks it "ud be troubling thee for nought, just to come in to say good-bye over again."
"She"d ne"er go away, I know, if Adam "ud be fond on her an" marry her, but everything"s so contrairy," said Lisbeth, with a burst of vexation.
Seth paused a moment and looked up, with a slight blush, at his mother"s face. "What! Has she said anything o" that sort to thee, Mother?" he said, in a lower tone.
"Said? Nay, she"ll say nothin". It"s on"y the men as have to wait till folks say things afore they find "em out."
"Well, but what makes thee think so, Mother? What"s put it into thy head?"
"It"s no matter what"s put it into my head. My head"s none so hollow as it must get in, an" nought to put it there. I know she"s fond on him, as I know th" wind"s comin" in at the door, an" that"s anoof. An" he might be willin" to marry her if he know"d she"s fond on him, but he"ll ne"er think on"t if somebody doesna put it into"s head."
His mother"s suggestion about Dinah"s feeling towards Adam was not quite a new thought to Seth, but her last words alarmed him, lest she should herself undertake to open Adam"s eyes. He was not sure about Dinah"s feeling, and he thought he was sure about Adam"s.
"Nay, Mother, nay," he said, earnestly, "thee mustna think o" speaking o" such things to Adam. Thee"st no right to say what Dinah"s feelings are if she hasna told thee, and it "ud do nothing but mischief to say such things to Adam. He feels very grateful and affectionate toward Dinah, but he"s no thoughts towards her that "ud incline him to make her his wife, and I don"t believe Dinah "ud marry him either. I don"t think she"ll marry at all."
"Eh," said Lisbeth, impatiently. "Thee think"st so "cause she wouldna ha" thee. She"ll ne"er marry thee; thee mightst as well like her t" ha" thy brother."
Seth was hurt. "Mother," he said, in a remonstrating tone, "don"t think that of me. I should be as thankful t" have her for a sister as thee wouldst t" have her for a daughter. I"ve no more thoughts about myself in that thing, and I shall take it hard if ever thee say"st it again."
"Well, well, then thee shouldstna cross me wi" sayin" things arena as I say they are."