"T"other chap was Bob Solly--Toeboy they used to call him on the river, acause of his lame foot and the thick sole he used to wear to make one leg same length as t"other; and perhaps, after all, it was Bob"s toe as made him such a drinking chap, and not the example as Gimlet set him.
Anyhow, that there don"t matter; only when I"m a-telling a thing I likes to be exact, as one used to be with the inwoices o" the goods one had to deliver up or down the river.
"Well, I was going up and down the river with all sorts o" goods, from ships, and wharves, and places--sundry things, you know, for I never had no dealings with coals--and one day, down the river, we loaded up with barrels off a wharf down by Tilbury--not the Tilbury as was blowed up the other day, "cause that was only a monkey boat, but Tilbury down the river, you know; where there"s the fort, and soldiers, and magazines, and all them sort o" things.
"Loaded up we were, and the little barrels all lying snug, and covered up with tarpaulins, and us a-waiting for the tide to come--for we was going up to Dumphie"s Wharf, up there at Isleworth--when Bob Solly comes up to me, and he says, says he--
""Guv"nor," he says, "we ain"t got no taties."
""Well, Bob," I says, "then hadn"t you better get some?"
""Yes," he says, "I will."
"And then Gimlet, who had been standing by, he says--
""And we ain"t got no herrins."
"The long and the short on it was that them two chaps goes ash.o.r.e to buy some herrins and some taties, so as we could cook "em aboard in the cabin, where we bargees reg"lar kind o" lived, you know.
"I ought to ha" knowed better; but I"d got an old _Weekly Dispatch_, as was the big paper in them days, and I was a-spelling it over about the corrynation o" King George the Fourth, and the jolly row there"d been up by Westminster Abbey when Queen Carryline went up to the doors and said as she wanted to be crowned too. I might ha" knowed what ud follow, but I was so wrapped up in that there old noosepaper, not being a fast reader, that I never thought about it; and consequently, when it was about low tide, and time for us to go, them two chaps was nowhere.
""Seen anything o" my mates?" I hollers to a chap ash.o.r.e, for I was now out in the stream.
""They"re up at the Blue Posties," he says. "Shall I fetch "em?"
""Yes, and be hanged to "em!" I says; and I goes down to the cabin, vexed like, gets hold o" the flint and steel and my pipe, and was going to fill it, when I remembered what we took aboard, and I put "em all back in the cupboard.
"Quarter of an hour arter, just as the tide was beginning to turn, them two chaps comes aboard, reg"lar tossicated, not to say drunk, and werry wild I was, and made "em go down into the cabin, thinking as they"d sleep it off; and then, casting loose, I put out one of the sweeps, and we began to float gently up the river.
"I got on very comfortably that afternoon, never fouling any of the ships lying in the Pool, getting well under London Bridge, and old Blackfriars with its covered-in seats like small domes of St. Paul"s cut in half, and so on and under Westminster Bridge, which was very much like the one at Blackfriars, and on and on, till the tide was at its height, when I let go the anchors and went to look at them two chaps; when, instead of being all fight, I found as the money as ought to have bought herrins and taties had gone in a bottle of stuff which one of "em had smuggled in under his jacket, and they was wuss than ever.
"Of course I was precious wild; but as it"s waste o" words to talk to men in that state, I saved it up for them, went forward, and rolled myself up in my jacket, pulled a bit o" tarpaulin over me, wished for a pipe, and then began to think.
"Now, I suppose that I got thinking too hard, as I sat there looking at the lights, blinking here and there ash.o.r.e, as the tide ran hissing down by the sides of the barge; for after a time I got too tired to think, and I must have gone off fast asleep, for I got dreaming of all sorts of horrible things through being in an uncomfortable position, and among others--I suppose all on account of twenty ton of gunpowder I had on board--I dreamed as it had blown up, and I was in our little boat, rowing about on the river amongst burnt wood and bits of barge and powder barrels, picking up the pieces of myself.
"Yes, rowing about and picking up the pieces of myself; because, I said to myself, I ought to be buried decently, and not be left to go floating about up and down with the tide. I had a hard job, I remember--now fishing up a foot, now a leg, and now pieces of my body. How it was I never seemed to ask myself, that I could be rowing about and fishing myself up; but there it was, and I got quite cross at last because my head gave me so much trouble: for every time I reached at it with one of the oars it bobbed under water, and came up again, and rolled over and over, and seemed to laugh at and wink at me, till, in a pa.s.sion, I gave it a heavy tap with the oar, and it went under again, and came up on the other side of the boat, bobbing up and down like a big apple.
""Now what"s the good of making a fool of yourself?" I says. "Why don"t you come in the boat along with the rest of the pieces?"
"Then it opened its mouth, and says out loud--
""I"m as thirsty as a fish."
"Now, the idea of that head of mine being thirsty, when it was swallowing water out there in the river, so tickled me that I began to laugh, and that laughing woke me, all of a cold shiver, to find it very dark, and these words seeming still to be buzzing in my ears--
""I"m as thirsty as a fish."
"What followed seems to me now just like some horrible nightmare; for as I sat there, in the forepart of the boat, I could just make out Bob Solly and Gimlet bending over a little keg, evidently as drunk as owls; and I saw in a flash that they"d been busy with an augur, and bored a hole in it, thinking it was spirit of some kind, when it was fine grain powder.
"What did I do? Nothing; but come all over of a cold sweat, the big drops ran down my face, and I felt as if I couldn"t move. I knew well enough what they"d done--they"d pulled up the tarpaulin, and dragged out a cask, and were going as they thought to drink; and as I saw them struggle along towards the cabin, I thought of my dream, and felt that the barge would be blown to pieces.
"I wanted to jump overboard, and swim for my life; and even then I remember smiling, and wondering whether I should go in a boat and pick myself up. Then I tried to go after them, to shout, to do something; but the bones seemed to have been taken out of my body, and for the first time in my life I knew what it was to be in a horrible state of fear.
"That went, though, at last, and I stood up shivering and made for the side. I looked at our distance from sh.o.r.e--about fifty yards--and kicked off my boots. I raised my hands, and in another moment I should have plunged overboard, when something seemed to say to me "You coward!"
and I stopped short.
"Of course: I was capen, and if I deserted the barge up she must go, and Lord help the poor people ash.o.r.e.
"But if I stayed?
"Well, I might save "em.
"I ran aft along the side of the barge, feeling sure that it was all a dream, for the men were out of sight; but when I reached the cabin hatchway I heard words as chilled me right through.
""It"s awful queer, Bob," Gimlet hiccupped; "the stuff"s running out all over my hands, and yet it ain"t wet, and it tastes salt."
""We"ll soon see what it"s made on, lad," says Gimlet, thickly; and then I had the old nightmare feeling come over me, and couldn"t stir-- couldn"t speak, only listen, with the thought of twenty ton of powder aboard and there, with the loose powder running all over them, was my mate Gimlet busy with tinder-box, flint, and steel.
"Nick--nick--nick--nick!
"And I couldn"t move.
"Nick--nick--nick--nick!
"I tried to get down the hatchway, but hadn"t a muscle that would work.
"Nick--nick--nick--nick!
"There was a stoppage--a faint glow, as of a man blowing the tinder, and I became myself again, and mad with fear, I crawled through the trap.
"Then there was the sputtering and blue burning of a brimstone match; and I saw the faces of the two men quite plain.
"The splint blazed up.
""We"ll soon see what it"s like now," said Gimlet, thickly. And he lowered the burning match, and in that one moment I saw the barrel at one side of the cabin, and the powder that had run out of the hole they had bored running about over the white floor zig-zag, like a black snake, and making a reg"lar train.
"At that same moment a burnt piece fell from the burning match, the train fired and began to run over the floor, and I threw myself between it and the barrel flat on the planks.
"I can"t tell you how it was, only that some one uttered a horrible yell, there was the sharp flash and hiss of the powder, my face was scorched as I lay flat, and the place was full of smoke and as dark as pitch.
"It seemed to be an hour, it may only have been a few seconds, when I heard them two rush up on the little deck; then there were two heavy splashes, and I knew that they were swimming ash.o.r.e and I was alone.
"I daren"t move, for the powder cask was touching me, and, for aught I knew, there might be scores of sparks on my clothes. And so I lay there, expecting my dream to come true each moment, till I could bear it no more, for a giddy feeling came over me, and I suppose I fainted.
"When I came to, the smoke had cleared away, but, all the same, I daren"t move for long enough; and at last, when my sense--what was left--told me that if there had been any danger it would have been over before now, I roused myself and edged a little away. I felt ready to faint again; but by degrees I got away, went on deck and threw my coat into the river, looked myself all over, and then, fighting hard against the wish to jump over and swim ash.o.r.e, I forced myself to the hatchway, looked down to see all black there as pitch, and then I knelt down on that bit of a deck and said the first prayer to G.o.d as I"d said for years.
"At daylight next morning I went below again; and I could see how we were saved; for my throwing myself down had driven the light dust two ways, and what with that and my body, the train when fired had not gone within two feet of the barrel.
"It was a horrible shock, though; and I didn"t get over it for years. I used to dream night after night about trying to get that bobbing head of mine into the boat, and then I used to cry out and fancy I saw the flash; but I got over it in time, and seldom had the horrible dream any more. But I had it the night after the _Tilbury_ went, for I thought a good deal that day about my lucky escape, and that upset me more than it did Toeboy and Gimlet, for they went ash.o.r.e that night, and next day were tossicated as ever.