"The moment he said this Bob saw that the old rogue was up to him, and he began to wonder within himself what was best to be done.
""See now, Nick," said he, "it isn"t like a friend to bring up all these red-coats here upon me, before my tenantry, disgracing me in the face of my people. Send them back to the town, and go up yourself with Mr.
Hennessy there, and do whatever you have to do."
""No, no!" screamed Hennessy, "I"ll never part with the soldiers!"
""Very well," said Bob, "take your own way, and see what will come of it."
"He put spurs to his pony as he said this, and was just striking into the gallop when Nick called out--
""Wait a bit, Major! wait a bit! If we leave the dragoons where we are now, will you give us your word of honour not to hurt or molest us in the discharge of our duty, nor let any one else do so?"
""I will," said Bob, "now that you talk reasonably; I"ll treat you well."
"After a little parley it was settled that part of the dragoons were to wait on the road, and the rest of them in the lawn before the house, while Nick and his friend were to go through the ceremony of seizing Bob"s effects, and make an inventory of everything they could find.
""A mere matter of form, Major Mahon," said he. "We "ll make it as short as possible, and leave a couple of men in possession; and as I know the affair will be arranged in a few days----"
""Of course," says Bob, laughing; "nothing easier. So come along now and let me show you the way."
"When they reached the house, Bob ordered up dinner at once, and behaved as politely as possible, telling them it was early, and they would have plenty of time for everything in the evening. But whether it was that they had no appet.i.te just then, or that they were not over-easy in their minds about Bob himself, they declined everything, and began to set about their work. To it they went with pen and ink, putting down all the chairs and tables, the cracked china, the fire-irons, and at last Bob left them counting over about twenty pairs of old top-boots that stood along the wall of his dressing-room.
""Ned," said Bob to his own man, "get two big padlocks and put them on the door of the hayloft as fast as you can."
""Sure it is empty, sir," said Ned. "Barrin" the rats, there"s nothing in it."
""Don"t I know that as well as you?" said Bob; "but can"t you do as you are bid? And when you"ve done it, take the pony and gallop over to the bog, and tell the people to throw the turf out of their carts and gallop up here as fast as they can."
"He"d scarcely said it when Nick called out, "Now, Major, for the farmyard, if you please." And so taking Hennessy"s arm, Bob walked out, followed by the two big bailiffs, that never left them for a moment.
To be sure it was a great sight when they got outside, and saw all the ricks and stacks as thick as they could stand; and so they began counting and putting them down on paper, and the devil a thing they forgot, not even the boneens and the bantams; and at last Nick fixed his eye upon the little door into the loft, upon which now two great big padlocks were hanging.
""I suppose it "s oats you have up there, Major?" said he.
""No, indeed," said Bob, looking a little confused.
""Maybe seed-potatoes?" said Hennessy.
""Nor it neither," said he.
""Barley, it"s likely?" cried Nick; "it is a fine dry loft."
""No," said Bob, "it is empty."
"And with that he endeavoured to turn them away and get them back into the house; but old Ba.s.set turned back, and fixing his eye upon the door, shook his head for a couple of minutes.
""Well," said he, "for an empty loft it has the finest pair of padlocks I ever looked at. Would there be any objection, Major, to our taking a peep into it?"
""None," said Bob; "but I haven"t a ladder that long in the place."
""I think this might reach," said Hennessy, as he touched one with his foot that lay close along the wall, partly covered with straw.
""Just the thing," said Nick; while poor Bob hung down his head and said nothing. With that they raised the ladder and placed it against the door.
""Might I trouble you for the key, Major Mahon?" said Hennessy.
""I believe it is mislaid," said Bob, in a kind of sulky way, at which they both grinned at each other, as much as to say, "We have him now."
""You ""ll not take it amiss then, Major, if we break the door?" said Nick.
""You may break it and be hanged!" said Bob, as he stuck his hands into his pockets and walked away.
""This will do," cried one of the bailiffs, taking up a big stone as he mounted the ladder, followed by Nick, Hennessy, and the other.
[Ill.u.s.tration: 413]
"It took some time to smash the locks, for they were both strong ones, and all the while Nick and his friend were talking together in great glee; but poor Bob stood by himself against a hayrick, looking as melancholy as might be. At last the locks gave way, and down went the door with a bang. The bailiffs stepped in, and then Nick and the other followed. It took them a couple of minutes to satisfy themselves that the loft was quite empty; but when they came back again to the door, what was their surprise to discover that Bob was carrying away the ladder upon his shoulders to a distant part of the yard.
""Holloa, Major!" cried Ba.s.set, "don"t forget us up here!"
""Devil a fear of that," said Bob; "few that know you ever forget you."
""We are quite satisfied, sir," said Hennessy; "what you said was perfectly correct."
""And why didn"t you believe it before, Mr. Hennessy? You see what you have brought upon yourself."
""You are not going to leave us up here, sir," cried Hennessy; "will you venture upon false imprisonment?"
""I"d venture on more than that, if it were needful; but see now, when you get back, don"t be pretending that I didn"t offer to treat you well, little as you deserved it, I asked you to dinner, and would have given you your skinful of wine afterwards; but you preferred your own dirty calling, and so take the consequences."
"While he was speaking a great cheer was heard, and all the country-people came galloping into the yard with their turf cars.
""Be alive now, my boys!" cried Bob. "How many cars have you?"
""Seventy, sir, here; but there is more coming."
""That"ll do," said he; "so now set to work and carry away all the oats and the wheat, the hay, barley, and potatoes. Let some of you take the calves and the pigs, and drive the bullocks over the mountain to Mr.
Bodkin"s. Don"t leave a turkey behind you, boys, and make haste; for these gentlemen have so many engagements I can scarcely prevail on them to pa.s.s more than a day or two amongst us."
"Bob pointed as he spoke to the four figures that stood trembling at the hayloft door. A loud cheer, and a roar of laughter to the full as loud, answered his speech; and at the same moment to it they went, loading their cars with the harvest or the live-stock as fast as they could.
To be sure, such a scene was never witnessed--the sheep bleating, pigs grunting, fowls cackling, men and women all running here and there laughing like mad, and Nick Ba.s.set himself swearing like a trooper the whole time that he"d have them all hanged at the next a.s.sizes. Would you believe, the harvest it took nearly three weeks to bring home was carried away that night and scattered all over the country at different farms, where it never could be traced; all the cattle too were taken away, and before sunrise there wasn"t as much as a sheep or a lamb left to bleat on the lawn.
"The next day Bob set out on a visit to a friend at some distance, leaving directions with his people to liberate the gentlemen in the hayloft in the course of the afternoon. The story made a great noise in the country; but before people were tired laughing at it an action was entered against Bob for false imprisonment, and heavy damages awarded against him. So that you may see there was a kind of poetic justice in the manner of his capture, for after all it was only trick for trick."
The worthy priest now paused to mix another tumbler, which, when he had stirred and tasted and stirred again, he pushed gently before him on the table, and seemed lost in reverie.
"Yes," said he half aloud, "it is a droll country we live in; and there"s not one of us doesn"t waste more ingenuity and display more cunning in getting rid of his fortune than the cleverest fellows elsewhere evince in acc.u.mulating theirs. But you are looking a little pale, I think; these late hours won"t suit you, so I "ll just send you to bed."
I felt the whole force of my kind friend"s advice, and yielding obedience at once, I shook him by the hand and wished him good-night.