Delighted to have Miss Bellew for my companion, I edged my way into the ma.s.s, and was borne along on the current.
The view from the top of the staircase was sufficiently amusing: a waving ma.s.s of feathers of every shape and hue, a crowd of spangled turbans, bald and powdered heads, seemed wedged inextricably together, swaying backwards and forwards with one impulse, as the crowd at the door of the supper-room advanced or receded. The crash of plates and knives, the jingling of gla.s.ses, the popping of champagne corks, told that the attack had begun, had not even the eager faces of those nearer the door indicated as much. _Nulli oculi retrorsum_, seemed the motto of the day, save when some anxious mother would turn a backward and uneasy glance towards the staircase, where her daughter, preferring a lieutenant to a lobster, was listening with elated look to his tale of love and glory. "Eliza, my dear, sit next me."--"Anna, my love, come down here." These brief commands, significantly as they were uttered, would be lost to those for whom intended, and only served to amuse the bystanders, and awaken them to a quicker perception of the pa.s.sing flirtation. Some philosopher has gravely remarked, that the critical moments of our life are the transitions from one stage or state of our existence to another; and that our fate for the future depends in a great measure upon those hours in which we emerge from infancy to boyhood, from boyhood to manhood, from manhood to maturer years. Perhaps the arguments of time might be applied to place, and we might thus be enabled to show how a staircase is the most dangerous portion of a building. I speak not here of the insecurity of the architecture, nor, indeed, of any staircase whose well-tempered light shines down at noonday through the perfumed foliage of a conservatory; but of the same place, a blaze of lamplight, about two in the morning, crowded, crammed, and creaking by an anxious and elated throng pressing towards a supper-room. Whether it is the supper or the squeeze, the odour of balmy lips, or the savoury smell of roast ducks--whether it be the approach to silk tresses, or _sillery mousseux_--whatever the provocation, I cannot explain it; but the fact remains: one is tremendously given in such a place, at such a time, to the most barefaced and palpable flirtation. So strongly do I feel on this point, that, were I a lawgiver, I would never award damages for a breach of contract, where the promise was made on a staircase.
As for me, my acquaintance with Miss Bellew was not of more than an hour"s standing. During that time we had contrived to discuss the ball-room, its guests, its lights, its decorations, the music, the dancers--in a word, all the commonplaces of an evening party; thence we wandered on to Dublin, society in general, to Ireland, and Irish habits, and Irish tastes; quizzed each other a little about our respective peculiarities, and had just begun to discuss the distinctive features which characterise the softer emotions in the two nations, when the announcement of supper brought us on the staircase. _a propos_, or _mal a propos_", this turn of our conversation, let the reader decide by what I have already stated; so it was, however, and in a little nook of the landing I found myself with my fair companion"s arm pressed closely to my side, engaged in a warm controversy on the trite subject of English coldness of manner. Advocating my country, I deemed that no more fitting defence could be entered, than by evidencing in myself the utter absence of the frigidity imputed. Champagne did something for me; Louisa"s bright eyes a.s.sisted; but the staircase, the confounded staircase, crowned all. In fact, the undisguised openness of Miss Bellew"s manner, the fearless simplicity with which she had ventured upon topics a hardened coquette would not dare to touch upon, led me into the common error of imputing to flirtation what was only due to the untarnished freshness of happy girlhood.
Finding my advances well received, I began to feel not a little proud of my success, and disposed to plume myself upon the charm of my eloquence, when, as I concluded a high-flown and inflated phrase of sentimental absurdity, she suddenly turned round, fixed her bright eyes upon me, and burst out into a fit of laughter.
"There, there! pray don"t try that! No one but an Irishman ever succeeds in blarney. It is our national dish, and can never be seasoned by a stranger."
This pull-up, for such it most effectually was, completely unmanned me.
I tried to stammer out an explanation, endeavoured to laugh, coughed, blundered, and broke down; while, merciless in her triumph, she only laughed the more, and seemed to enjoy my confusion.
With such a failure hanging over me, I felt happy when we reached the supper-room; and the crash, din, and confusion about us once more broke in upon our conversation. It requires far less nerve for the dismounted jockey, whose gay jacket has been rolled in the mud of a racecourse, resuming his saddle, to ride in amid the jeers and scoffs of ten thousand spectators, than for the gallant who has blundered in the full tide of a flirtation, to recover his lost position, and sustain the current of his courtship. The sarcasm of our s.e.x is severe enough, Heaven knows; but no raillery, no ridicule, cuts half so sharp or half so deep as the bright twinkle of a pretty girl"s eye, when, detecting some exhibition of dramatised pa.s.sion, some false glitter of pinchbeck sentiment, she exchanges her look of gratified attention for the merry mockery of a hearty laugh. No tact, no _savoir faire_, no knowledge of the world, no old soldierism that ever I heard of, was proof against this. To go back is bad; to stand still, worse; to go on, impossible.
The best--for I believe it is the only thing to do--is to turn approver on your own misdeeds, and join in the laughter against yourself.
Now this requires no common self-mastery, and an _aplomb_ few young gentlemen under twenty possess--hence both my failure and its punishment.
That staircase which, but a moment before, I wished might be as long as a journey to Jerusalem, I now escaped from with thankfulness. Concealing my discomfiture as well as I was able, I bustled about, and finally secured a place for my companion at one of the side-tables. We were too far from the head of the table, but the clear ringing of his grace"s laughter informed me of his vicinity; and, as I saw Miss Bellew shrank from approaching that part of the room, I surrendered my curiosity to the far more grateful task of cultivating her acquaintance.
All the ardour of my attentions--and I had resumed them with nearly as much warmth, although less risk of discomfiture, for I began to feel what before I had only professed--all the preoccupation of my mind, could not prevent my hearing high above the crash and clatter of the tables the rich roundness of Mrs. Rooney"s brogue, as she recounted to the duke some interesting trait of the O"Toole family, or adverted to some cla.s.sical era in Irish history, when, possibly, Mecaenas was mayor of Cork, or Diogenes an alderman of Skinner"s Alley.
"Ah, my dear!--the Lord forgive me! I mean your grace."
"I shall never forgive you, Mrs. Rooney, if you change the epithet."
"Ah, your grace"s worship, them was fine times; and the husband of an O"Toole, in them days, spent more of his time harrying the country with his troops at his back, than driving about in an old gig full of writs and lat.i.tats, with a process-server behind him."
Had Mr. Rooney, who at that moment was carving a hare in total ignorance of his wife"s sarcasm, only heard the speech, the chances are ten to one he would have figured in a steel breastplate and an iron head-piece before the week was over. I was unable to hear more of the conversation, notwithstanding my great wish to do so, as a movement of those next the door implied that a large instalment of the guests who had not supped would wait no longer, but were about to make what Mr.
Rooney called a forcible entry on a summary process, and eject the tenant in possession.
[Ill.u.s.tration: 1-0092]
We accordingly rose, and all (save the party around the viceroy) along with us, once more to visit the ball-room, where already dancing had begun. While I was eagerly endeavouring to persuade Miss Bellew that there was no cause or just impediment to prevent her dancing the next set with me, Lord Dudley de Vere lounged affectedly forward, and mumbled out some broken indistinct phrases, in which the word da-ance was alone audible. Miss Bellew coloured slightly, turned her eyes towards me, curtsied, took his arm, and the next moment was lost amid the crowd.
I am not aware of any readier method of forming a notion of perpetual motion than watching the performance of Sir Roger de Coverley at an evening party in Dublin. It seems to be a point of honour never to give in; and thus the same complicated figures, the same mystic movements that you see in the beginning, continue to succeed each other in a never-ending series. You endeavour in vain to detect the plan, to unravel the tangled web of this strange ceremony; but somehow it would seem as if the whole thing was completely discretionary with the dancers, there being only one point of agreement among them, which is, whenever blown out of breath, to join in a vigorous hands-round; and, the motion being confined to a shuffling of the feet, and a shaking of the elbows, little fatigue is incurred. To this succeeds a capering forward movement of a gentleman, which seemingly magnetises an opposite lady to a similar exhibition; then, after seizing each other rapturously by the hands, they separate to run the gauntlet in and out down the whole line of dancers, to meet at the bottom, when, apparently reconciled, they once more embrace. What follows, the devil himself may tell. As for me, I heard only laughing, t.i.ttering, now and then a slight scream, and a cry of "Behave, Mr. Murphy!" etc.; but the movements themselves were conic sections to me, and I closed my eyes as I sat alone in my corner, and courted sleep as a short oblivion to the scene.
Unfortunately I succeeded; for, wild and singular as the gestures, the looks, and the voices were before, they now became to my dreaming senses something too terrible. I thought myself in the centre of some hobgoblin orgie, where demons, male and female, were performing their fantastic antics around me, grinning hideously, and uttering cries of menacing import. Tarn O"Shanter"s vision was a respectable tea-party of Glasgow matrons compared to my imaginings; for so distorted were the pictures of my brain, that the leader of the band, a peaceable-looking old man in shorts and spectacles, seemed to me like a grim-visaged imp, who flourished his tail across the strings of his instrument in lieu of a bow.
I must confess that the dancers, without any wish on my part to detract from their efforts, had not the entire merit of this trans.m.u.tation.
Fatigue, for the hour was late, chagrin at being robbed of my partner, added to the heat and the crowd, had all their share in the mystification. Besides, if I must confess it, Mr. Rooney"s champagne was strong. My friend O"Grady, however, seemed but little of my opinion; for, like the master-spirit of the scene, he seemed to direct every movement and dictate every change--no touch of fatigue, no semblance of exhaustion about him. On the contrary, as the hour grew later, and the pale grey of morning began to mingle with the glare of wax-lights, the vigour of his performance only increased, and several new steps were displayed, which, like a prudent general, he seemed to have kept in reserve for the end of the engagement. And what a sad thing is a ball as it draws towards the close! What an emblem of life at a similar period!
How much freshness has faded! how much of beauty has pa.s.sed away! how many illusions are dissipated! how many dreams the lamplight and chalk floors have called into life fly like spirits with the first beam of sunlight! The eye of proud bearing is humbled now; the cheek, whose downy softness no painter could have copied, looks pale, and wan, and haggard; the beaming looks, the graceful bearing, the elastic step, where are they? Only to be found where youth--bright, joyous, and elastic youth-unites itself to beauty.
Such were my thoughts as the dancers flew past, and many whom I had remarked at the beginning of the evening as handsome and attractive, seemed now without a trace of either--when suddenly Louisa Bellew came by, her step as light, her every gesture as graceful, her cheek as blooming, and her liquid eye as deeply beaming as when first I saw her. The excitement of the dance had slightly flushed her face, and heightened the expression its ever-varying emotions lent it.
Handsome as I before had thought her, there was a look of pride about her now that made her lovely to my eyes. As I continued to gaze after her, I did not perceive for some time that the guests were rapidly taking their leave, and already the rooms were greatly thinned. Every moment now, however, bore evidence of the fact: the unceasing roll of carriages to the door, the clank of the steps, the reiterated cry to drive on, followed by the call for the next carriage, all betokened departure. Now and then, too, some cloaked and hooded figure would appear at the door of the drawing-room, peering anxiously about for a daughter, a sister, or a friend who still lingered in the dance, averring it "was impossible to go, that she was engaged for another set." The disconsolate gestures, the impatient menaces of the shawled spectres--for, in truth, they seemed like creatures of another world come back to look upon the life they left--are of no avail: the seductions of the "major" are stronger than the frowns of mamma, and though a rowing may come in the morning, she is resolved to have a reel at night.
An increased noise and tumult below-stairs at the same moment informed me that the supper-party were at length about to separate. I started up at once, wishing to see Miss Bellew again ere I took my leave, when O"Grady seized me by the arm and hurried me away.
"Come along, Hinton! Not a moment to lose; the duke is going."
"Wait an instant," said I, "I wish to speak to----"
"Another time, my dear fellow; another time. The duke is delighted with the Rooneys, and we are going to have Paul knighted!"
With these words he dragged me along, dashing down the stairs like a madman. As we reached the door of the dining-room we found his grace, who, with one hand on Lord Dudley"s shoulder, was endeavouring to steady himself by the other.
"I say, O"Grady, is that you? Very powerful Burgundy this---- It "s not possible it can be morning!"
"Yes, your grace--half-past seven o"clock."
"Indeed, upon my word, your friends are very charming people. What did you say about knighting some one? Oh, I remember: Mr. Rooney, wasn"t it?
Of course, nothing could be better!"
"Come, Hinton, have you got a sword?" said O"Grady; "I "ve mislaid mine somehow. There, that "ll do. Let us try and find Paul now."
Into the supper-room we rushed; but what a change was there! The brilliant tables, resplendent with gold plate, candelabras, and flowers, were now despoiled and dismantled. On the floor, among broken gla.s.ses, cracked decanters, pyramids of jelly, and paG.o.das of blancmange, lay scattered in every att.i.tude the sleeping figures of the late guests.
Mrs. Rooney alone maintained her position, seated in a large chair, her eyes closed, a smile of Elysian happiness playing upon her lips. Her right arm hung gracefully over the side of the chair, where lately his grace had kissed her hand at parting. Overcome, in all probability, by the more than human happiness of such a moment, she had sunk into slumber, and was murmuring in her dreams such short and broken phrases as the following:--"Ah, happy day!--What will Mrs. Tait say?--The lord mayor, indeed!--Oh, my poor head! I hope it won"t be turned.--Holy Agatha, pray for us! your grace, pray for us I--Isn"t he a beautiful man? Hasn"t he the darling white teeth?"
[Ill.u.s.tration: 144]
"Where"s Paul?" said O"Grady; "where"s Paul, Mrs. Rooney?" as he jogged her rather rudely by the arm.
"Ah, who cares for Paul?" said she, still sleeping; "don"t be bothering me about the like of him."
"Egad! this is conjugal, at any rate," said Phil
"I have him!" cried I; "here he is!" as I stumbled over a short, thick figure, who was propped up in a corner of the room. There he sat, his head sunk upon his bosom, his hands listlessly resting on the floor.
A large jug stood beside him, in the concoction of whose contents he appeared to have spent the last moments of his waking state. We shook him, and called him by his name, but to no purpose; and, as we lifted up his head, we burst out a-laughing at the droll expression of his face; for he had fallen asleep in the act of squeezing a lemon in his teeth, the half of which not only remained there still, but imparted to his features the twisted and contorted expression that act suggests.
"Are you coming, O"Grady?" now cried the duke impatiently.
"Yes, my lord," cried Phil, as he rushed towards the door. "This is too bad, Hinton: that confounded fellow could not possibly be moved. I"ll try and carry him." As he spoke, he hurried back towards the sleeping figure of Mr. Rooney, while I made towards the duke.
As Lord Dudley had gone to order up the carriages, his grace was standing alone at the foot of the stairs, leaning his back against the banisters, his eyes opening and shutting alternately as his head nodded every now and then forward, overcome by sleep and the wine he had drunk.
Exactly in front of him, but crouching in the att.i.tude of an Indian monster, sat Corny Delany. To keep himself from the cold, he had wrapped himself up in his master"s cloak, and the only part of his face perceptible was the little wrinkled forehead, and the malicious-looking fiery eyes beneath it, firmly fixed on the duke"s countenance.
"Give me your sword," said his grace, turning to me, in a tone half sleeping, half commanding; "give me your sword, sir!"
Drawing it from the scabbard, I presented it respectfully.
"Stand a little on one side, Hinton. Where is he? Ah! quite right. Kneel down, sir; kneel down, I say!" These words, addressed to Corny, produced no other movement in him than a slight change in his att.i.tude, to enable him to extend his expanded hand above his eyes, and take a clearer view of the duke.
"Does he hear me, Hinton? Do you hear me, sir?"
"Do you hear his grace?" said I, endeavouring with a sharp kick of my foot to a.s.sist his perceptions.
"To be sure I hear him," said Corny; "why wouldn"t I hear him?"
"Kneel down, then," said I.