Chapter 33
He couldn’t stay in this dorm anymore. That day, no matter what Fang Shaoyi said, Yuan Ye refused to sleep over. He left after eating dinner.
How could he stay there? Looking at that pile of roses made even Yuan Ye’s hair feel embarra.s.sed. He had never done something like this before, so felt very ashamed. Because Yuan Ye was so embarra.s.sed, Fang Shaoyi didn’t ask him where these flowers had come from. The two of them reached an unspoken understanding.
That night, Fang Shaoyi texted him: Did you get back yet?
Yuan Ye instantly replied: Yep. I’m already lying down.
Fang Shaoyi scolded him: All this extra work. You’re still going to come over tomorrow.
Yuan Ye bit his lip and responded: I refuse to sleep over in your room.
Yuan Ye thought to himself there are flowers on your bed. They’re p.r.i.c.kly.
Fang Shaoyi didn’t say anything else either. He only sent: Then sleep earlier. Goodnight.
Yuan Ye sent back: Goodnight, Yi ge!
Between the two of them, one was excitedly pursuing while the other had long since seen through the act and was merely enjoying this sweet, ambiguous atmosphere. They each had their own fun. This was Yuan Ye’s first time pursuing someone in his life. He felt very accomplished. He didn’t know if Fang Shaoyi realized that he was pursuing the other; he believed that he was actually being quite obvious. However, the person in question was often the most confused during these situations. Either way, he wasn’t in a rush. This continuous pursuit was actually quite interesting, ha.
Yuan Ye made a call home and asked his mother, “Missus, I’m about to turn 18. Soon, I’m going to be an adult. I can start dating now, right? I’m almost going to graduate from university.”
“Who are you going to start dating, huh?” His mother, Mrs. Lin, wasn’t in agreement. “How old are you? What kind of person are you going to date? Don’t fool around.”
At the time, how could his family have known that Yuan Ye was thinking about a young man? They all thought that he was the same as the other boys his age and had a crush on a little girl. Yuan Ye said, “I won’t tell you who I’m going to date. Either way, I won’t act out of line. This isn’t considered an early romance anymore!”
His mom actually didn’t want to control him too much. Besides, a naughty boy of this age couldn’t be controlled anyways. She let him do as he wanted.
Yuan Ye hung up and called Fang Shaoyi instead. Right now, he was extremely dedicated to making these phone calls. As soon as the other answered, he yelled, “Yi ge! Want to watch a movie?”
Fang Shaoyi asked him, “What movie?”
Yuan Ye said, “Let’s watch a romance!”
Fang Shaoyi’s voice was gentle and smooth. “Okay.”
Yuan Ye’s favorite thing was listening to Fang Shaoyi say “okay” each time. When he did, it was easy to realize that the other was an extremely gentle person.
Prior to the movie, Yuan Ye didn’t forget to buy flowers. He bought a single flower and held it between his fingers. When he saw Fang Shaoyi, he stuffed his hand into his pocket, leaving only the top of the flower visible. Yuan Ye flicked it once, then looked down and said, “There was a little girl selling flowers. I noticed that she was getting too warm, so bought one.”
With the stem in his pocket but the petals outside, it would’ve been strange if the flower had been able to stay. Besides, it didn’t look nice like this anyways. Fang Shaoyi looked at Yuan Ye’s lowered head and chuckled. He pulled the flower out and held it in his hand, saying, “You actually know to bring a flower?”
Yuan Ye looked up at him, then put his head down again. He quietly said, “Didn’t……you teach me?”
With this, he was already being quite obvious. Yet, Fang Shaoyi purposefully chose not to burst that bubble. He didn’t respond to Yuan Ye.
Half of Yuan Ye sighed in relief to himself while the other half felt anxious. Why couldn’t Fang Shaoyi understand his hints? How else did he need to say it?
The movie wasn’t very good. Perhaps, though, this was because Yuan Ye was too picky. He kept thinking that the male lead wasn’t handsome enough. Additionally, the plot wasn’t exciting enough. In actuality, how exciting could a romance be? Halfway through, Yuan Ye’s interests were no longer on the movie. Fang Shaoyi was a celebrity. As such, if he walked into a movie theater to watch a movie, completely uncovered, he would get recognized. Thus, he normally wore a snapback to places where there were a lot of people; he would lower the cap as low as it could go. Yuan Ye turned to look at Fang Shaoyi and observed his side profile that was visible under the cap.
Previously, he had purely thought that Fang Shaoyi was handsome while looking at him like this. Now, every time he looked at Fang Shaoyi, he would think to himself, when will I finally be able to successfully pursue such a good-looking person?
Fang Shaoyi could feel his gaze. He turned around and looked at the other, mouthing at him: What’s wrong?
Yuan Ye shook his head and smiled. His smile was very silly.
Their ambiguous relationship started in the summer that Yuan Ye turned seventeen. It was like a gla.s.s of sweet lime tea. Later on, Yuan Ye wrote in one of his books: “That summer is probably one I’ll keep thinking back on even at the end of my life. It was too beautiful. Before it, my entire world was a blur of chaos. After it, I gained a shower of forever-peaceful moonlight.”
When seventeen-year-olds had crushes, it was always a matter of life and death. The only thing in Yuan Ye’s entire heart was Fang Shaoyi. Boys that had never thought of romance in the past were the ones who eventually experienced love more strongly. However, at the time, Yuan Ye hadn’t actually been overtaken by impulse. He had still been very logical. In his heart, he knew that there was a great distance between himself and Fang Shaoyi. Thus, he didn’t want to force anything. If he actually succeeded, that would naturally be great, but if he didn’t, he wouldn’t mind the regret either. After wholeheartedly fighting for something, there would be no regret upon encountering failure.
This was exactly what he said to Fang Shaoyi.
The two of them slowly circled around the little lake on campus. Yuan Ye was wearing shortsleeves. His arm would occasionally b.u.mp into Fang Shaoyi’s. This momentary physical contact caused his heart to beat faster. Yuan Ye stared at the surface of the lake and suddenly said, “Yi ge, if I say something that scares you one day, can you not cut off all contact with me?”
Fang Shaoyi looked at him. After, he smiled and shook his head while saying, “You can’t scare me. Feel free to say what you want, when you want.”
Yuan Ye blinked. A moment later, he added, “I don’t know what kind of response you’ll give me after I say it, but I hope it’s a good one.”
Fang Shaoyi softly asked him, “What if it isn’t?”
Yuan Ye pressed his lips together, thought about it, and said, “If it isn’t, I’ll be pretty happy too. As long as I’ve tried. Humans’ desires know no bounds. There’s no way that we can fulfill each and every one of them. Why should we be able to? Either way, I’d feel very brave because I tried. I feel quite proud of this fact.”
At the time, Fang Shaoyi had looked at him. His eyes had been filled with this boy who stood before him, claiming to be brave. Fang Shaoyi lifted a hand and gently rubbed Yuan Ye’s head. He rubbed it from the very back to the very front, then said, “Being brave is the right thing to do, no matter the situation. You’ll never be disappointed.”
Yuan Ye nodded and replied, “Hopefully…… My desire is too extravagant.”
Fang Shaoyi always wanted to leave the opportunity to clarify their relationship to Yuan Ye. The other had pursued him for so long already. How happy would he be to succeed? Thus, Fang Shaoyi didn’t say anything else at this moment. If he did, everything would basically be over.
Fang Shaoyi had already pondered this question many times in his own head. Every time Yuan Ye shamelessly smiled at him, a thought would always rise in Fang Shaoyi’s heart.
——What could you want that I wouldn’t give you?
Yuan Ye had originally already decided to make things known. Regardless of the consequences, he wanted to hurry and end this suffering quickly. But in the end, before he had even finished preparing, Fang Shaoyi got caught up in dating rumors first. When Yuan Ye saw this, he was shocked.
Back then, the biggest social mediums were still newspapers and TV. Yuan Ye stared at the newspaper his roommate had brought back. There was a rather large headline on it that said Fang Shaoyi and Chen Yuange seemed to be in a relationship. Yuan Ye gaped at it for a long time, blanked out. The past few days, Fang Shaoyi hadn’t been at school because he had gone to attend some gala. The picture in the newspaper was of Chen Yuange wearing Fang Shaoyi’s jacket. The two of them looked quite familiar with each other.
Yuan Ye knew who this Chen Yuange was. She was three years older than Fang Shaoyi and was technically a family friend. Chen Yuange’s father, Chen Weilin, and Fang Han were old friends. Fang Shaoyi and Chen Yuange had known each other since childhood as well.
Actually, Yuan Ye didn’t really believe this story. However, his heart still beat faster. He felt a bit hesitant. These news articles were always like this: how could one tell what was real and what was fake? Yuan Ye and Fang Shaoyi were so close, but even he couldn’t determine the truthfulness of this. However, Yuan Ye wasn’t the type to hide things in his heart and think them over himself. When he had a question, he always asked Fang Shaoyi at the first possible instant.
Thus, Yuan Ye texted: Yi ge, are you in a relationship?
Quite a long time later, Fang Shaoyi finally replied: Who am I in a relationship with?
Yuan Ye said: Chen Yuange.
A while after, Fang Shaoyi responded with a question: What do you think? Who do you think I’m in a relationship with?
Yuan Ye thought to himself I think that you’re in a relationship with me. But I daren’t say that. Yuan Ye squatted on his chair and scratched his head. He sent: I don’t know.
Fang Shaoyi didn’t reply to this message. His heart had been stabbed by Yuan Ye’s “I don’t know”. Dumb Monkey said he didn’t know. Fang Shaoyi didn’t know what was going on in the other’s head all the time.
For two days after, the two of them didn’t contact each other again – no phone calls or texts. Yuan Ye felt a bit hesitant. Fang Shaoyi was waiting for Yuan Ye to take the initiative. But Yuan Ye was too pa.s.sive. In the end, Fang Shaoyi was still the one to message first. Before he returned, he sent Yuan Ye a text: How do you plan on pursuing someone by being so pa.s.sive?
Yuan Ye responded extremely quickly. Based on the speed, he had probably been keeping his phone in his hands the whole time: Yi ge, when you are coming back?!
Fang Shaoyi asked him: Why?
Yuan Ye: I miss you!
Thus, Fang Shaoyi’s temper disappeared. He told Yuan Ye: Tonight.
After he sent this, he immediately followed up with another text: Confess?
Yuan Ye had already gotten into the habit of doing whatever Fang Shaoyi ordered. After doing it, he could also come up with some excuse to cover up why he had done it. However, he definitely wouldn’t be able to make up an excuse to cover up today’s task. He needed to be truthful.
As soon as he set down his phone, Yuan Ye immediately started looking through his drawers to find the love poems he had written. He successfully located several piles. He picked and chose through them, trying to find the best one to bring along today. After looking through all of them, he found them all unsatisfactory. Additionally, he wasn’t capable of writing another one on the spot. He tried for a long time. In the end, Fang Shaoyi had almost arrived, but Yuan Ye hadn’t even had the time to buy a flower.
Yuan Ye said that he would be waiting for him by the lake. Fang Shaoyi dropped his stuff off before going to the lake to look for the other. After searching around for two circles, he didn’t find anyone. Just as he was about to pull out his phone and make a call, he suddenly heard a voice ring out from above his head. It wasn’t that far away. “Yi ge, here.”
Fang Shaoyi followed the voice and looked up. Immediately, he c.o.c.ked an eyebrow. Yuan Ye was sitting in a tree, one leg bent and the other swinging. He was also holding a willow branch in his hand. Fang Shaoyi walked over and leaned back to tell him, “Come down.”
Yuan Ye smiled at him, then looked down at their surroundings. There weren’t any other people around. Thus, Yuan Ye said, “Then you have to catch me.”
“How am I supposed to catch you?” Fang Shaoyi was shocked. After, he scolded, “Come down nicely by yourself. You might fall.”
Yuan Ye didn’t even listen to him. Before Fang Shaoyi could finish speaking, he had already jumped down in Fang Shaoyi’s direction. Fang Shaoyi instinctively reached out to catch him, but this was too difficult. Besides, Yuan Ye hadn’t given Fang Shaoyi enough time to prepare; he couldn’t catch him at all.
Yuan Ye landed on the ground in a very awkward position.
Fang Shaoyi furrowed his brows and squatted down to observe him. He couldn’t do anything about this kid. Though slightly angry, his expression was more exasperated than anything. “How come you’re so naughty? Did you hurt anything?”
Yuan Ye’s mind was full of things he wanted to say. He couldn’t bring himself to say them to Fang Shaoyi’s face, so rapidly rolled around on the ground and grabbed Fang Shaoyi’s arm. Then, like an agile monkey, he jumped onto Fang Shaoyi’s back.
Fang Shaoyi had originally been squatting. After being pounced on, he planted his hands on the ground in front of him before standing up. He also didn’t care that Yuan Ye had just rolled on the ground and thus was covered in dirt. He reached around and piggybacked Yuan Ye, not knowing if he should laugh or cry. “What’s wrong with you today?”
Yuan Ye held out his hand and the willow branch that was still stuffed in it. He even waved it around. “I didn’t have enough time to buy flowers today. Just pretend these are flowers.”
Fang Shaoyi looked down at that willow branch. He reached a hand out to grab it, then burst into laughter. “How could I do that? That’s too perfunctory.”
“You can. They’re all plants, so they’re all the same.” Yuan Ye sprawled out on Fang Shaoyi’s back. Both of his arms were wrapped around the other’s neck. He leaned his face in closer to Fang Shaoyi’s ear to say, “Yi ge, I have something to say, but I’m too scared to look at you. I want to say it like this.”
Fang Shaoyi had already guessed what he was going to say. He gently nodded and warmly said, “Speak.”
Yuan Ye rubbed his face against Fang Shaoyi. His mouth was extremely close to Fang Shaoyi’s ear, almost as if this would make the sound of his voice softer. If his voice was softer, he wouldn’t feel as embarra.s.sed.
When he spoke, his mouth practically brushed against Fang Shaoyi’s ear. It was very tickly and very enthralling. It could make that half of one’s shoulder feel numb.
Fang Shaoyi heard Yuan Ye take in a deep breath. After, he still spoke quite loudly as he said, “Yi ge, I want to be in a relationship with you.”