"Don"t be foolish Catherine, I"m not judging you, d.a.m.n it! I"m trying to protect you, if you would let me." He said trying to calm me down but it was too late for reason, we were well past that now.
"Protect me, from what?"
"From that!" He shouted pointing to the file spread out like a collage of my life.
"Well thanks, but I don"t need your help. I coped on my own last time and I can do it again!" I said, but he looked down at my arms and came back with the ultimate hurt.
"Is that what you call coping?"
I looked down at my arms that were covered with numerous layers as I still had my jacket and zipped hooded sweater on. I was so angry I could feel the tears developing and I wanted to scream out at him but instead I calmed my breathing and said in a controlled way, "You think you know everything just because you have read some stupid file filled with evidence pictures and test results but you don"t know anything about how I coped. You just take one look at me and you come up with the same conclusion as everybody else does! After all, it was you that said presumption is the mother from which all mistakes are born!" By the end of this little speech I couldn"t stop the beads of water that escaped my eyes.
"Then tell me." He said, his voice filled with compa.s.sion at seeing me cry.
"What?" I said nearly sobbing.
"Well you say I don"t understand, you say that I don"t know the whole story and this is true, I don"t." He flipped open the file and continued "I have read this file over and over and there is not one statement from you, so why don"t you tell me what happened."
"NO!" Was all I said, but he walked closer to me stopping only a foot away. He tilted his head to see my face but I kept my head down.
"All I want to do is go...I need to get out of here." I said without meeting his eyes, as I could feel them burning into mine.
"Ok... well we will strike a deal, if you tell me what really happened then I will let you leave." He said and my heart rate shot up a couple of notches.
"You wouldn"t." I was keeping on my guard.
"I give you my word that if by the time you have finished and you still want to leave then I will allow it but...."
"But what?"
"I have to be satisfied that it is the truth." He said placing his hand under my chin and then bringing my face up to see his. My skin tingled under his fingers and I mentally scorned myself for still feeling like this around him. I bit my bottom lip again and he smiled at the sight before letting go and stepping back away from me. My body instantly started to cool down with the distance he put between us and I almost wanted to go running back to him so that I could feel safe again. What was I thinking! NO! He was the enemy, I had to get that through to myself, he wasn"t safe.... he was dangerous!
He motioned for me take a seat and I did as I was told as with the story I was about to tell I didn"t know if my legs were up to the task of holding me up.
"What do you already know?" I asked not wanting to tell him any more than I had to but he must have realised what I was thinking because he just gave me a warning, "Keira...please be reasonable." He said quickly going back to calling me the name I used. I instantly felt better hearing it.
"I know your name is really Catherine Keiran Williams and that you"re 23 years old, you were born on the 7th day of the 7th month in 1987 in Liverpool. When you were seven years old you had something very unusual happen to you and you started seeing things you couldn"t explain. You soon learned to control it and lived a semi normal life until you went to University, moving to Southampton at the age of twenty one. There you were to become a victim of a kidnapping." Once he was finished I couldn"t find my voice. That was my life in a nutsh.e.l.l. The very one I had been running from for over two years. And this was the night that I had finally hit a brick wall preventing me from running any more. I wanted to scream out in pain at what he knew. He was the one person in the world that I wanted to keep this from and now my fake world was crumbling around me leaving me standing in the rubble of my horrifying past.
So I took a deep breath and started to do the one thing that I didn"t want but knowing it was my one chance to run away, I started with my story...
"My family all called me Keira or Kazzy, as my dad was convinced I was going to be born a boy. So my middle name is Keiran, which is what they would have called me if I had been. This was after my Grandfather. It was only when I went to Uni that I dropped it taking on a more adult sounding Catherine." I said calmly, wishing I could have stopped at that, but I knew my chances of getting out of here lay with the story I had to tell.
"I was studying History and Spanish, as I do now, but I also studied Art. For the first few months we had a guy teaching us who was due to retire. He was waiting for his replacement to arrive and unfortunately he did. His name was Hugo Morgan and he was renowned for his love of surrealism, which at the time I also had a pa.s.sion for."
"At first he seemed charming and it was clear his love for art had made him a very popular tutor among all of his students including me." I laughed without humour as I continued, "I remember my friends being jealous as he seemed to single me out as his favourite pupil." At the sound of me saying his name, it seemed I wasn"t the only one affected as Draven"s body went ridged at the thought. His intense stare wasn"t helping so I lowered my face to continue.
"Time went on and it started getting more serious. I would see him following me everywhere, every time I turned around there he was. At first I put it down to being paranoid but then it soon became clear that he was stalking me. So as a result I would find myself skipping cla.s.ses to get away from him but soon he confronted me. He told me how he was sorry if he had been a bit weird, it was just down to the fact that I reminded him of someone dear to him and that he didn"t want it affecting my work. I decided to forget about it, feeling sorry for him and I went back to cla.s.s, stupidly thinking it was now sorted. But my flat mate Charlotte wasn"t convinced and didn"t trust him, she thought that I should have gone to the police or spoke to someone at the university. But I didn"t want to cause problems, so again I stupidly ignored her advice. Of course I was about to realise my mistake and pay dearly for it." I paused wiping away a stray tear at the thought, but this made Draven look at me full of concern so he stood up and said, "I think that"s enough for now, we should continue this later after you have had some rest." But I didn"t want to rest. I needed to get out of here as quickly as possible. The more time I was here the less chance I had of giving Morgan the slip.
"I"m fine, I would prefer to carry on...Really." I said nodding so he sat back down to listen to the rest of my dark drama.
"You said you knew about my visions, I don"t know how you do but even if I asked I doubt you would give me any answers anyway. But I guess I"m used to finding out that you know what seems like impossible things about me without ever explaining why." I said to him but he didn"t react the way I would have thought he would. He just smiled at me and said.
"You will have your answers too, if you are ready for them."
"Really?" I asked shocked but I gathered this was just another tactic to keep me here and I was soon proven right.
"Yes... if you wish, but after you have finished and I am satisfied with all I need to know. " He said in a way that made me believe him. I could only nod before carrying on.
"Well one night it all changed. You see, I used to have visions of what I can only describe as Angels and Demons. I see every day normal people and then they would change into things I can"t explain. So I figured if I had to live with it then I would try and control it and well...I found a way." I said and Draven held a fascinating grin and he was looking at me, not like I was crazy as he should have been, but one in amazement. As if I had mastered the secret to immortality or something.
"How?" He asked shaking his head as though he knew this was impossible, which got me wondering what he knew about it?
"Well soon the visions only came to me in dreams and pretty soon I learnt how to control these too. See I would sketch what I saw, kind of locking it away I guess, so it couldn"t come back. Well these visions calmed through years of concentration and persistence. But this night I had a nightmare that I had no control over. I saw Mr Morgan not as a Demon but being terrorised by one. It was everywhere he went, following him like a plague that was slowly killing him. It"s hard to explain but I got the impression that it was sucking the life from him." Draven reacted to this new bit of information and finally there was something he didn"t know. He rose up from his seat suddenly and he looked agitated, which soon might change to outrage.
"I have to leave you momentarily, but I won"t be long." He said moving towards the door but he stopped and turned back to me adding, "Please stay here and wait for me." And with that he left me alone. I wondered why this bit of my past affected him so much.
I got up and explored the room. It was like something you would find in a kings bed chamber. There were tapestries hung about the room, comprised of different war scenes. There were battles with j.a.panese warriors mounted on horses fighting what looked like winged soldiers flying from the heavens. I went over to the couch that I had been placed on and noticed a dark red stain that looked as though it could have been from my blood. I lent down to touch it when I jumped at the sound of the door opening. I expected it to be Draven, thinking how quick he had been but it wasn"t him.
A small girl walked in with short black hair with blue streaks in it. She had a young kind face and wore a long black skirt with a blue corset on top of a shirt she wore underneath. She held a tray of drinks and fruit, which she placed on the table next to where I had been sitting.
"My name is Candra. My Master said you might be thirsty or hungry. If there is anything else I can bring you then please just ask, there"s an intercom on the side of the door I came through." She said so sweetly.
"Thank you." I said feeling awkward at a servant bringing me drinks, as after all it wasn"t long ago I was doing the same job. She smiled and then left out of the same door which I heard lock immediately. So Draven didn"t trust me. Of course, why should he? I mean really, just how many times had I run from the man.
I suddenly realised how dry my throat was and I nearly ran to the tray to get a drink. I poured some water from the silver jug along with some ice cubes that fell in my gla.s.s and downed it in one before filling it again. I also grabbed a few grapes from the bunch and went back to exploring the room.
I walked over to the large mahogany desk that was now scattered with bits of my life. I moved the papers around until I came to two pictures that sent dread up and down my spine. It felt as though I was being electrocuted by a loose wire I wasn"t holding. I moved to hold up the first photo, which was of me in the hospital taken by a nurse for the police. I looked like death warmed up.
I was an utter mess, covered in cuts and bruises marbling over my broken body. I had a sheet that covered my chest but my shoulders were exposed showing ugly red marks and angry welts that went across my neck and bruises, around my arms like bra straps only these were from restraints of a different kind. My face however, only had marks from where I was still traumatised as my eyes were red and sore from the tears that had flowed for days.
But this wasn"t the worst sight. No, what made me feel sick to my stomach was seeing my arms both in b.l.o.o.d.y bandages wrapped up to my elbows showing where each cut had been as they were still weeping. I pushed it onto the floor in disgust knowing that Draven had seen these and it made my heart break a little. The other picture had the opposite effect. It was Morgan"s mug shot. Well of course Morgan wasn"t his real name but during my experience it was all I had known him as, so this is how he remained. In this photo he looked like he did when he had taken me....pure evil. When I was in cla.s.s I had once thought he looked friendly and even kind of handsome but now that memory made me feel sick at my foolish first impression.
He was young for a tutor, being only in his late twenties. He had bronze coloured hair cut back and short and he usually wore a trilby hat when first coming in to lectures. He had a longish face with a pointed chin and a long straight nose to match. However his eyes were the most outstanding feature, as no matter what feelings were behind the smile, his amber coloured eyes never lied. They were always cold as if frozen in a time of pain, one he wouldn"t let go of.
I hadn"t seen this face for two years but yet I could still remember the horror which it caused, as if it had been only hours ago. I felt as though I couldn"t breathe, as reality hit me once more.
This monster was back and it was clear...
He was coming for me.
Chapter 36 - Locked between good and evil.
"Are you alright?" Draven"s voice broke the spell Morgan"s face had over me. I turned still holding the picture in my hand. My wet cheeks showed my distress at what I held. He walked over to me slowly and he looked concerned at my hand which was now going white at the knuckles as I was crushing the paper in my fist. Before he could get to me I dropped the mug shot to the floor and kicked it under the desk before saying, "Yes...I"m fine, let"s just get this over with." I then walked pa.s.sed him resuming my seat and I wiped the tears away with the back of my gloved hand, once I had my back to him.
"I"m not sure you"re ready, why don"t you..." He said but I cut him off sharply.
"Look, I just want to get this over and done with so I can get the h.e.l.l out of here and unless you"re going to let me go now, I think we should proceed!"
"If you wish" He said sitting, trying to keep his face neutral.
"Yeah, I didn"t think so!" I said under my breath but from his expression it looked as if he caught it and its full meaning, but he didn"t comment so I continued with my story.
"So where was I?" I asked out loud. For the first time since meeting Draven he looked uncomfortable. He raked his hand through his raven hair and I watched with wide eyes. It was unbelievable. Here I was telling the haunting truth behind my life of lies and I was fantasising about being the one to run my hands through his hair. Was it as soft as it looked?
"You were locking out Demons." He stated calmly.
"Ah yes, well... now I had a sketch of his monster that was haunting him daily, in black ink firmly locked away in my note book. Only what I didn"t plan on was the next day there was a fire drill and we all left our bags and jackets in the cla.s.ses. Of course at that time I was in Art. So when I got back, my notebook was gone, along with Morgan. I didn"t give it much thought until I was walking to my dorm later that day and he approached me. He was trying to get me to go with him, talking about running away together. This was the final straw so when I finally got away from him and safely back to my room, I told Charlotte about my plans to talk to the head of Art about the problem." I looked down as I knew this was the bit that was going to get ugly and I hated looking weak!
I was playing with the edge of my gloves and tried not to visualize the actual night I was taken.
"I had been dating this guy called Tom Robertson, who I had been seeing for a few weeks. He was a nice guy, funny, smart, the type you could introduce to your parents with ease. So when I got a text message from him asking if I was free to meet him, I replied "yes" as I could do with a nice distraction to take my mind off what I would have to do on the Monday." I shook my head at the memory.
"See, I still felt bad that I would have to report Morgan for his behaviour, I knew what it was like to see things and I remember how utterly alone I felt when I couldn"t control it. I just wished there was another way but what I didn"t realise is that Morgan had his own idea of dealing with it...Or more like dealing with me." I stopped to cough and Draven looked as though he was about to move towards me but stopped himself.
"Drink" He said in a smooth voice that sounded as liquid as the water that went down my throat. It cooled my insides that felt as though they were burning from the memories. I placed one hand at the back of my neck and closed my eyes knowing this was going to get even more difficult. I noticed Draven"s eyes looking at me with concern and I said, "I"m fine." Before he spoke. He didn"t believe me, you could tell with one raised eyebrow he was sending my way but he must have accepted it as he nodded for me to continue.
"He had used Tom"s phone, tricking me into believing I was meeting my new boyfriend, when really he had directed me to exactly the right place where he could easily take me....He stole me away and I didn"t have a chance! The next thing I knew he had his arms around me injecting me with something, taking me against my will! So you can see where I would have a problem with being taken!" I added this to prove a point, hoping he would get the message, which from his face ...he did.
"I didn"t realise the extra pain that would have caused you." He said looking guilty but I coldly replied "Would it have made a difference?"
"No, I do what I have to do but my reasons are far from your nightmares, Keira." He said in such a way I knew it to be true, so I couldn"t stay mad at him. Draven and Morgan were miles apart...Good and Evil...or so I foolishly trusted!
"Fair enough" I gave him before continuing.
"So when I woke up I was in my prison. A concrete h.e.l.l that was the bas.e.m.e.nt of his house, where I was to remain for 43 days, caught between wanting to die and fighting for every hour of them. See, he believed I was possessed by the demon that haunted him and that it was also haunting me, no matter what I said or how I pleaded, nothing got through. He was fixated on the idea that I could be fixed!" I wiped the tears again and Draven looked as though he felt every one that fell down my skin.
"He called it trying to save me, but what I really needed to be saved from was the madness that consumed him. At first he would try little rituals that were mainly harmless including the burning of incense, sprinkling of holy water, reading different scriptures, things of that nature. But because his demon never left him, it also meant that in his eyes it never left me either. So things got worse, after weeks went by he started doing more research finding more radical and dangerous methods." I closed my eyes briefly as if seeing myself back there.
"I would normally just wait for each day to come and go before someone would surely find me. On the weekdays he would go to work, I would be left to wonder on ways to escape but there was no way out. He had thought of everything! I would sleep on an air bed that he inflated more each week. My food was brought to me on a child"s plate and I was only allowed to use a child"s spoon. He always said this was so the demon couldn"t force me to hurt myself and this way he could not only help me but he could keep me forever." At this Draven couldn"t help but react. He got up and walked over to a table that held a large gla.s.s decanter. He poured the red liquid into a wine gla.s.s and downed it in one then poured himself another. He looked over to me before up turning another gla.s.s and filling that also.
"Here.... drink this, it will help." He said pa.s.sing me the gla.s.s. I looked down at the red liquid as I swirled it around before wanting to drink it. Draven spotted my hesitation and said.
"It"s red wine."
So I took a slip and let the flavours evolve in my mouth, tasting the berries used mixed with an acidic after tone. He watched my every move as though he was waiting for me to break down and go into pieces. My skin was hot and it felt as though I was going to melt under all my layers but I didn"t want to take them off, as I wanted to remain firm and show I was ready to leave as soon as possible.
"So as I said, weeks went by and still no rescue and I was soon to realise why. He had thought of everything! He told the University that I had left due to personal reasons, as he had forged my handwriting. He had also written letters to my parents telling them one excuse after another why I hadn"t called. But my parents must have been getting worried because one night he drugged me and forced me to read what he had written into a recorder. He made me do it over and over until it sounded right. He made me say how I wanted to be left alone and I was safe but I had run away with Tom to get married and how I wouldn"t call again as all I wanted was to be left alone."
"That must have been hard." He said with empathy as I sipped my wine.
"It was, that"s why I would have to do it over and over. Sometimes I would just shout for help but I soon learnt that this wasn"t a good idea." I shivered at the memories.
"What did he do?" He asked through gritted teeth.
"Well, let"s just say after a few good slaps I learnt that there was no getting around it, so I did as I was told."
" !!" (Means "I will crush him!" In Russian) He shouted in a language that sounded like Russian and it made me jump.
"Sorry, it"s just this...well it is not easy to hear." He was trying to calm his temper and once again I couldn"t force my eyes away as his muscles tensed as if he was going to explode into a full rage. He saw my worried face and his features smoothed as he regained his control.
"Please continue." So I did but I frowned as I knew it was going to get much worse!
"So I thought that that was it, he had fooled everyone! The people at Uni thought I was home and my family at home thought I had run away to be with Tom. I knew it was only left up to me and if I had any chance to escape, I would have to find a way. Then things got even worse. He started once again with the b.l.o.o.d.y rituals! He had now got it into his head that maybe I wasn"t possessed like he thought but instead maybe I was a sodding witch! Of course I knew my history about the witch-hunts and how they always ended. But this was where he had a problem. Most witches were rather burned at the stake, drowned or tortured so brutality they wouldn"t survive and he wanted me alive, that much was clear. But one night he came up with an alternative...And this night was one I wouldn"t forget!"
I realised I had finished my wine but it was soon refilled by Draven as he knew to continue I would need it. And he was right, it did help as I could feel my body relaxing with every drop I swallowed. It must have been a strong wine to be taking effect so quickly after just one gla.s.s. He still loomed over me making me take a large swig of my wine for different reasons. I could feel his gaze penetrating me from above but I refused to look.
"Keira" He said my name like a warm caress over my body. I tried to find my feet but his hand shot out, preventing me to lower my head any more. He took a firm hold of my chin and raised my face to look up to his towering frame.
"You don"t have to do this Keira." He said so softly it was barely more than a whisper and I closed my eyes letting the captured tears fall. His grip left my chin and took the tears away with his touch.
"You wanted this Draven...so you"re going to get it all," I said fiercely. I made the decision to spill my gruelling past no matter how hard it was to tell and by G.o.d I was not backing out now. Something in me had snapped and I found that if I didn"t finish now then Draven would never fully understand why. He would never truly see the blind justice to my actions and I didn"t want them to remain in the shadows any longer.
I felt his touch leave me and I waited until I could hear him resume his place in the room until I opened my eyes and carried on.
"This particular night I woke to find myself strapped to a chair at the wrists, feet, neck and under my arms and around the shoulders. I was still feeling woozy as he must have drugged my food, because I don"t remember anything after eating. I was scared and upset. I don"t think I stopped screaming throughout the whole thing. I just remember the searing pain of heat on my skin and the smell of my own flesh burning. I think I eventually pa.s.sed out through pain." I automatically felt for the burn mark on my back and scratched at it through my layers.
"When I woke my wound was wrapped up and I could smell disinfectant. He was stroking back my hair telling me how sorry he was! I mean I just wanted to kill him and here he was acting as though he was trying to help!!! Of course his delusions convinced him he did help, telling me how he thought it must have worked, as he couldn"t see them anymore. I tried to pull away from him but I was too weak and he must have given me some more drugs as I kept needing to throw up. He told me how he had read that witches possess something called the "Devils mark" from where they had been touched by one of his minions and when applying a red hot poker to it they will leave a screaming body."
"Vade retro satana!" Draven said shaking his head and looking away from me as though disgusted at the thought!
"What does that mean?" I asked wanting to go over to him and touch his face as he had done so often to mine.
"It means, "Go back Satan." It is a medieval Catholic formula for an exorcism but in my case I meant it as something else, as it also means ....Don"t tempt me!" I didn"t quite understand what he meant by that last bit but I didn"t push it as he looked agitated. So I continued with the last part of my miserable story.
"He then started talking about us being together forever and that he was soon going to take me away from that place, somewhere we could be married and start a fresh new life. I wanted to scream at him and lash out but I knew I had to use this as an opportunity and play it smart. So I went along with it as if it was something I wanted too, thinking I would soon get a chance to make a break for it. But again I was wrong.... I found out that not only was he going to drug me again but he also started talking about taking care of my family as they were becoming a problem. This made me panic more than I had in the entire time I had been locked down there. I knew what he was capable of and knew that my family could be in danger. So this gave me the strength for I what I would have to do next." I said looking down at my covered scars wishing they could stay that way forever.
"What I didn"t realise was, this was when I would find my opportunity as he started bringing down boxes to store, while he was getting ready to sell the house. Of course any time anyone would come to look around I would be tied up and gagged, so I couldn"t cause a problem." I took another large gulp of wine and put down the gla.s.s before it went completely to my head.
"It was in these boxes that I finally found what I had been looking for, my chance to end it all. So I waited for him to leave for work and started to open each one. Most of the boxes were filled with old newspaper clippings and childhood toys. But in one of the boxes was what looked like personal items of a young girl. I saw a picture of her and found she looked very similar to me with long blonde hair and the same eyes. She was also sat next to a young Morgan and they had their arms around each other in an embrace. At the very bottom I found a large wooden box with a key still inside the lock. I opened it to find it was a music box with one of those little ballerinas twirling round to the Nutcracker"s Sugarplum Fairy music. But my eyes weren"t fixated on the doll, they were fixated on the large square mirror behind it."
"So you used it to try and kill yourself." He said in a sad voice finishing the end of my story for me but my anger shot up along with my body as I was now standing in resentment. He looked shocked at my reaction but he was soon to know why.
"Why am I not surprised that you wouldn"t think differently? NO! I didn"t b.l.o.o.d.y try to kill myself!" I held out my arms and said "I did THIS to save myself and my family!"
"Calm yourself...I didn"t mean to upset you, please explain." He said standing from his chair also. I inhaled deeply and every time my lungs refilled I calmed down more. Enough to continue...
"Look you have to understand that I was the cause of this problem and I knew I would never be able to live with myself if I let Morgan do anything to hurt those that I loved!"
"I understand that more than you know." He said motioning me to sit back down as though I had clearly made my point, so I carried on after throwing myself back into the seat behind me.
"I knew how long it took him to get from his car and down to me. I counted it every time he left the house. I would hear the engine of his car pull up. I would hear it go silent as he turned the keys. I knew it would only be a moment before I would hear his footsteps above and the first thing he always did was to come down to the bas.e.m.e.nt to see me. I knew exactly how many minutes I had so I sat and waited until I heard the car." I shuddered at the hardest memory of all. The pain I created. The pain I caused not only to myself but the biggest change I made to everyone"s lives.
"It was hard to do at first as I was shaking with fear but then the adrenaline kicked it and my hands plunged the mirror shard into my skin. You see my plan was to try and make it look worse than it was. Lots of shallow cuts to create the illusion that it was more serious, but it wasn"t working, there wasn"t enough blood so I got clumsy and cut myself too deep a few times at the wrist. Then I couldn"t stop the bleeding but at least my plan worked because as soon as he saw me he panicked. I then played him at his own game. I told him how I didn"t want to lose him, how it was the demon that made me do it, how it was jealous of my love for him and it wanted me to suffer and die.