030
"auctioning first kiss…and kissing for real”
day twenty fouraccompany each other to complete a wish
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On the second day of their stay in Xiamen, the two went and visited Kulangsu.
Kulangsu was indeed a very beautiful place that was surrounded by the ocean. The European architectures and stores lined along the streets were all saturated with a romantic flavour.
If there weren’t so many people, then this place would have been the perfect location for couples’ dates.
“Shou shou, look at the camera.” Zhang Lingyi held a camera and directed it at w.a.n.g Guangning’s revealed teeth.
w.a.n.g Guangning glanced at the crowd of people pa.s.sing by around them, then curled his lips upwards as his interest waned.
“I feel so thirsty…I’m going to buy milk tea, do you want anything?” w.a.n.g Guangning asked Zhang Lingyi.
Still fiddling with the camera, Zhang Lingyi replied with: “I’ll have the same as you.”
By the time w.a.n.g Guangning had come back from having bought milk tea for both of them, he found Zhang Lingyi still standing in the same position with a dazed expression on his face.
Following Zhang Lingyi’s line of sight, w.a.n.g Guangning saw that he was staring at a newly wedded pair posing for their wedding photographs.
The bricks were a warm red, and the walls a pale white. Green vines extended along the window frame, and a wooden fence (that just about reached the height of one’s calves) surrounded the wall. Fresh flowers bloomed from where they were half-hidden beyond the fence. The bride wore a white dress and stood within the cl.u.s.ters of flowers while the groom held her from behind. Happiness and bliss echoed on both of their faces.
It truly was an extremely moving scene.
“Do you envy them?” w.a.n.g Guangning sipped his milk tea, his expression blank as he asked the question.
“Of course, I envy!” Zhang Lingyi gazed at the bride in fascination. “Shou shou, you’d definitely look very beautiful if you wore that dress!”
“Get lost!” Irritated, w.a.n.g Guangning felt the intense urge to pout his milk tea over Zhang Lingyi. However, when he thought of the sorry figures that they had cut when they woke up this morning as well as the chaos surrounding them, he resisted. “You can go and wear a wedding dress! Laozi is a real man!”
Just as w.a.n.g Guangning’s voice fell, they saw the bride roll her eyes then speak in a rough voice. “Are we done with taking the photos? This is d.a.m.n annoying!”
She was unexpectedly a he!
What the f.u.c.k?! Could this be any more horrifying?
w.a.n.g Guangning and Zhang Lingyi were stunned.
What kind of plot twist was this?!
The photographer replied that they were required to shoot just one more set, and the bride stated in exasperation, “Next time you need a bride, don’t ask me to cosplay! This is so irritating!”
As it turned out, they were from the cosplay circle and that man was cosplaying as a bride. w.a.n.g Guangning and Zhang Lingyi finally calmed down and proceeded to silently walk away.
Yet, Zhang Lingyi couldn’t help but fantasise about w.a.n.g Guangning wearing a wedding dress. Hence, he sighed ruefully and without an ounce of regret, said: “Shou shou, I think that we should also take a few wedding photographs!”
Then he was sent flying with a slap from w.a.n.g Guangning.
On their way to the beach at the back of the island, the two paused at random intervals before resuming their walk again. When they finally arrived, w.a.n.g Guangning and Zhang Lingyi were faced with a beautiful view of the beach reflected in the sunlight.
Zhang Lingyi grasped w.a.n.g Guangning’s hand then stepped onto the sand.
“Shou shou, what’s your wish?” asked Zhang Lingyi. En, as an experienced xiao gong, he had not forgotten today’s task.
w.a.n.g Guangning stared up at the sky and thought about it. His most recent wish was……
“I want that SpongeBob toy we saw last night!” That cuddly toy from the claw machine was so difficult to obtain!
“Eh……” Zhang Lingyi looked at him blankly. “Alright. I’ll try to find a way to get it for you!”
“Then what’s your wish?” w.a.n.g Guangning questioned.
Zhang Lingyi let go of his hand and gave w.a.n.g Guangning a sly look. “I’m already so old, but I haven’t kissed anyone yet. I’ve always wanted to find someone to kiss!”
The kiss that he had shared with w.a.n.g Guangning that time when their lips had accidentally touched while they were shaving did not count. That was what Zhang Lingyi believed.
Of course, w.a.n.g Guangning was also too embarra.s.sed to challenge this matter.
However, he felt slightly pained as he stared at the other man. Why could Zhang Lingyi always speak of such uncertain matters with such a calm and a.s.sured tone?
“So then, where should I go and find someone to fulfill my wish?” w.a.n.g Guangning obviously wasn’t an idiot to foolishly think that he should ‘personally’ help Zhang Lingyi complete this wish.
“Ah~ Shou shou, you don’t have to be so bashful!” Zhang Lingyi blinked his lashes at w.a.n.g Guangning. Upon seeing that the other’s expression was a bit stiff, he did not tease him. Zhang Lingyi touched his chin for a moment, then his eyes brightened. Changing his posture into one that practically screamed ‘bada.s.s’, Zhang Lingyi leaned over and said in a domineering tone, “How about we go and auction my first kiss?” ┏(゜ω゜)=
Heavens, please send down lightning and strike me to death!
w.a.n.g Guangning stared up at the sky sorrowfully. With a calm and collected expression pasted on his face, he said, “How are you going to auction it?”
“Hehe~!” Zhang Lingyi laughed loudly,
Not long afterwards, an incomprehensible scene appeared on the beautiful beach of Kulangsu—
A handsome guy wearing a hoodie was holding a thick cardboard sign with a set of large characters written on it——auctioning first kiss.
Beside him stood another guy who didn’t lose to the first one in terms of attractiveness. This youth was watching the proceedings with his arms crossed over his chest.
They formed a truly strange yet seductive picture.
(It has to be said that Zhang Lingyi really did have foresight on how to present himself. He knew that even though he was world-shatteringly attractive, his bald head would definitely lower his score by a bit. Despite the fact that there was already some black fuzz on his head, it still didn’t look as good as before. Hence, the existence of a hoodie was particularly important, especially since the people surrounding him seemed extremely lost and bewildered.)
There were many people who came to Xiamen as a holiday, with a great number of them on Kulangsu island. Among the tourists, there was a large population of youths and a large number of them were girls.
Therefore, countless people came to look at Zhang Lingyi.
Normally, w.a.n.g Guangning would have retreated far, far away.
However, the effects of travelling as a tourist were wondrous. People would feel a strange sense of security when in an unfamiliar environment. After all, no one here knew them. Even if they did lose face, it wouldn’t affect their lives in any way.
Hence, w.a.n.g Guangning calmly stood to one side and watched Zhang Lingyi’s performance.
Zhang Lingyi lifted the cardboard sign and shot the crowd a charming smile—one capable of causing the collapse of humanity. After confirming that all the women had been completely bedazzled, Zhang Lingyi then cleared his throat and announced, “h.e.l.lo, ladies and gentlemen. I¹ came to Xiamen for a short holiday but accidentally lost my wallet. I’m now going to auction my first kiss so I can collect some money as my travel expenses for my journey home. I guarantee that this is completely fair and sincere² to all, and the kiss will definitely be worth the price³. The starting price will be fifty yuan⁴, so feel free to bid, everyone. The highest bidder will receive the kiss!”
[1] 本人: the humble form of ‘I’ used in speeches.
[2] 童叟无欺: cheating neither old nor young (idiom); treating youngsters and old folk equally scrupulously; offering sincere treatment to all and fair trade to old and young alike.
[3] 货真价实: genuine goods at fair prices
[4] Around ten dollars in AUD.
w.a.n.g Guangning: “……”
The crowd of spectators: “……”
This speech sounded very familiar to everyone. Wasn’t this just an improved version of the words commonly spoken by beggars in downtown areas and city centres?
Just as absolute silence permeated the scene, a girl’s sharp voice suddenly called out, “I bid a hundred!”
Upon hearing the shout, everyone looked over, only to see a chubby girl holding a packet of potato chips. Her face was flushed red with excitement.
With her build……w.a.n.g Guangning unkindly remarked in his head that she must also still have yet to give away her first kiss.
En. With this, Zhang Lingyi couldn’t be considered as having suffered a loss!
However, after the girl had broken the silence, the atmosphere quickly became more lively and several other girls followed suit in calling out their bids.
“One hundred and ten.”
“One hundred and twenty.”
“I bid a hundred and thirty.”
The bid rose rapidly to the two hundred range.
Everyone’s att.i.tude and mentality were somewhat more relaxed than usual. In any case, they were all in a strange and unfamiliar environment. What harm was there in doing something crazy?
The most important part was, Zhang Lingyi was so ridiculously attractive—how could anyone not want to give this a try?
After the price had reached two hundred, the people calling bids became more hesitant. Even though they were all spending so much money in buying a handsome stranger’s kiss, they still didn’t know for sure whether it really was his first kiss. Besides, even if he was attractive, spending so much money would still cause them to feel a phantom pain.
“Three hundred!” A girl’s voice shouted out abruptly in a domineering manner. Shocked, everyone turned to stare at the chubby girl who had originally called out the first bid.
This time, no one fought against her.
Zhang Lingyi looked at the girl with a complicated expression in his eye, then glanced at the silent crowd. Wiping his face, Zhang Lingyi resigned himself to his fate. “Since no one else wants to bid any higher, then my first kiss will belong to this lady here!”
This was indeed extremely tragic!
The chubby girl enthusiastically pulled out three red notes. Running up to Zhang Lingyi, she blushed.
“Here.”
Zhang Lingyi took the notes handed over by her, then closed his eyes in resignation and lowered his head. “Come.”
The crowd silently restrained their laughter, sympathy etched across their faces.
w.a.n.g Guangning was still standing off to the side with his arms crossed over his chest. He watched on with a blank expression.
The chubby girl shyly leaned in with red cheeks. Just when she was about to touch Zhang Lingyi’s lips, her eyes flashed and she suddenly reached out to embrace Zhang Lingyi’s neck. She kissed him fiercely.
“Wu wu wu……” Zhang Lingyi struggled to break free. The chubby girl had unexpectedly tried to poke her tongue into his mouth, but he kept his lips firmly shut.
With great difficulty, Zhang Lingyi finally managed to push the girl away. He held an expression of both terror and relief on his face, as if he had just been given a new lease of life.
The manner in which the chubby girl held herself was not as fierce as before. She asked bashfully, “Handsome, my name is Lin Zhiluo⁵. What’s yours?”
[5] 林知落: name of ABG30D’s author~ ?
Zhang Lingyi took a step back then ruthlessly said, “My name is Hong Lingjin⁶!” This was simply him doing good deeds, alright?
[6]红领巾: referring to the youth organisation, Young Pioneers. In internet slang, this describes someone who helps others.
The onlookers were finally unable to hold in their laughter. Unable to fight them, Zhang Lingyi grabbed w.a.n.g Guangning and they ran away.
Zhang Lingyi only felt relieved once they had boarded the return ferry that would take them back to the mainland. With fear still lingering inside his heart, Zhang Lingyi scowled and said, “f.u.c.k, that girl was too cruel.”
A silent ‘you deserved it’ pinned itself across w.a.n.g Guangning’s face as he quietly turned to gaze at the scenery around the ferry. The sea breeze blew gently along the rippling waves. w.a.n.g Guangning didn’t know why he was suddenly reminded of a friend’s evaluation of Xiamen——this was a place suitable for everyone and anyone to visit.
The expression on his face momentarily changed to 囧囧.
“Shou shou, you have no conscience!” Zhang Lingyi complained.
“Alright, be good~” w.a.n.g Guangning perfunctorily touched Zhang Lingyi’s practically bald head. Although he thought that the scene just then was quite funny, his heart had still felt a bit uncomfortable upon seeing the girl kiss Zhang Lingyi.
For a while, Zhang Lingyi stared at him in resentment. Then he became cheerful once again. Waving the three red notes, he beamed. “Shou shou, now we have enough money to try that claw machine again!”
Faced with Zhang Lingyi’s bright smile, w.a.n.g Guangning felt his gloominess disappear like smoke in thin air.
Zhang Lingyi was doing his best to create wonderful memories for them. Hence, even though w.a.n.g Guangning would feel dejected after their agreement ended and everything returned back to how it was originally, he wouldn’t be sad about the fact that it had all been just a ploy. No, he would be sad because what he once had with Zhang Lingyi was beautiful.
Therefore, w.a.n.g Guangning would not blame Zhang Lingyi.
The two returned back to Zhong Shan Road and had dinner. They also bought the mochi that w.a.n.g Guangning had drooled for an entire night over. After that, the pair found their way to the claw machine they found yesterday.
“SpongeBob, come to me~!” Zhang Lingyi rolled up his sleeves and exchanged his notes with the boss of the claw machine for coins worth three hundred yuan⁷.
[7] The official currency of Chinese coins.
The boss had been in this business for a long time, yet this was his first time meeting such a wealthy customer—especially one that was so handsome. Thinking that Zhang Lingyi was trying to please his girlfriend or something, the boss eagerly ran out, wanting to satisfy his curiosity. In the end, he did not find a beautiful lady, but another handsome guy instead.
With his experience, the boss had already seen everything that there could be to see. However, having two men exchanging money for coins worth three hundred yuan in order to have several tries at a claw machine was really something he was perceiving for the first time. He couldn’t help but feel that the world was moving too fast for him to comprehend.
“Surely, you didn’t need to exchange so much coins?” Noticing the amount of coins Zhang Lingyi was carrying in a small basket, w.a.n.g Guangning felt slightly ashamed. His skills weren’t that bad, right?
“It’s okay, shou shou.” Zhang Lingyi was in high spirits. “Our goal for today is to grab all the stuffed toys in this machine!”
Reality proved that people should not behave so obstinately.
Two hours later, Zhang Lingyi and w.a.n.g Guangning stared with utmost dejection at their empty basket devoid of any coins and the SpongeBob toy that was still separated from them by a piece of gla.s.s.
The boss who owned the claw machine and had witnessed this entire process couldn’t help but think that they were the two people with the worst luck that he had ever met.
“Hey, if you both like that SpongeBob so much, I can give it to you for free!” The boss had made a profit of 300 yuan and since he did indeed possess a conscience, decided to act upon a rarely given generosity.
He had thought that w.a.n.g Guangning would accept with joy. However, the person in question only became angry and turned his face away. “No. Thank you though, boss.” If he took the SpongeBob toy, then it would definitely become a source of humiliation and a testimony of his bad luck.
The boss thought that he had already done as much as he could, so he didn’t say anything else and left the scene.
“Then, shou shou, how about we try again?”
w.a.n.g Guangning glanced at the SpongeBob toy. The 300 yuan that they had spent was earned through Zhang Lingyi’s stunt, so he didn’t feel any regret about using it.
Zhang Lingyi continued, “After all, this was your wish.” And he had promised to help w.a.n.g Guangning to fulfill this wish!
“Forget it.” w.a.n.g Guangning swept his eyes over the stuffed toy, then looked away with frustration evidence on his face. “I’ve decided to change my wish.”
“Oh~” Zhang Lingyi felt surprised. As expected, xiao shou was quite fickle. “What did you change it to?”
“The same as you. I’ll give away my first kiss too.” w.a.n.g Guangning shrugged his shoulders in a joking manner, then suddenly stepped forward. Both his hands reached out to hold Zhang Lingyi’s head firmly in place, then his lips descended upon the other’s.
In his shock, Zhang Lingyi momentarily forgot to react.
The only things that he could perceive were w.a.n.g Guangning’s face leaning in close then magnifying, and the feeling of soft lips touching lightly against his.
At that moment, the clamouring of the world seemed to quieten.
Somewhere in the distance, fireworks were being lit up and the night sky bloomed with gorgeous lights that brightened up the dark.
w.a.n.g Guangning’s eyes were closed, so he did not see the colours reflected in Zhang Lingyi’s.
Right now, the stream of people flowing past and the noise of the city had nothing to do with them.
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٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶ Progress ~
t.i.tLE: ……shou shou……I’m hard!
Please prepare tissues ~ヽ(o^ ^o)ﾉ
translator: k i a i
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