040
“the one with more abdominal muscles overpowers the one with less”
Zhang Lingyi rested for two days. During these two days, w.a.n.g Guangning cooked. Even though the end result of his cooking did not really look like anything, Zhang Lingyi ate it, feeling completely satisfied.
On the third day, Zhang Lingyi finally returned to work at Huidi International. As expected, Xia Yingchu handed him a plan for the anniversary banquet and list of the partic.i.p.ants when he arrived. Surprisingly, w.a.n.g Guangning’s name was included under those who had been invited as honoured guests.
Zhang Lingyi promptly approved it, then sent a text message to w.a.n.g Guangning: Shou shou, I’ll make dinner tonight. What do you want to eat?
w.a.n.g Guangning’s response came quickly: The more expensive, the better! P.S. Don’t bother me during work hours, I’m a person who has a career.
Zhang Lingyi: ! ! ! ! ! !
Then do I appear like someone who has nothing to do, and just idles around? I’m working and still trying to find time to text; in the end, who exactly do you think it’s for?
Zhang Lingyi felt very aggrieved.
Although w.a.n.g Guangning asked Zhang Lingyi not to bother him during working hours, he finished work and went home early that day. When he arrived, Zhang Lingyi unexpectedly still had not returned.
w.a.n.g Guangning pursed his lips in dissatisfaction. Taking out the iPad, he sat in the living room and watched TV while sorting through his emails.
Just as he was absorbed in handling those emails, the home phone suddenly rang.
The phone was placed next to the sofa, so w.a.n.g Guangning casually picked it up. “h.e.l.lo?”
“Lingyi, mom just heard that you were in a car accident. Are you alright?” The female voice in the phone was very anxious.
Zhang Lingyi’s mother?
w.a.n.g Guangning couldn’t help but feel somewhat nervous, “Sorry, auntie, Zhang Lingyi hasn’t returned yet. I’m his new housemate, w.a.n.g Guangning.”
It was silent for a moment on the other side of the phone, before she asked suspiciously, “What new housemate?”
w.a.n.g Guangning replied, “Zhang Lingyi’s previous housemate moved away. I’m a new tenant who just moved in……”
He was roughly interrupted by the voice on the other side of the phone. “What nonsense are you spouting? When did we put our house up for rent?”
w.a.n.g Guangning stared blankly. “Auntie, I really am a tenant……”
“Since when did our family need to rent out our house?” Zhang Lingyi’s mother spoke in a very unkind manner. “Who exactly are you? Why are you in my house?”
w.a.n.g Guangning was interrogated to the point of not knowing what to do¹. Just as he wasn’t sure how to respond, Zhang Jiuxing² returned.
[1] 不知所措: at one’s wits’ end; embarra.s.sed and at a complete loss.
[2] 救星: jiu xing means saviour/knight in shining armour ~
“Zhang Lingyi, your mother’s on the phone. Quickly come and explain, why does your mother not believe that I’m a tenant?” w.a.n.g Guangning said to Zhang Lingyi.
Zhang Lingyi, who was carrying large bags of fresh ingredients in both hands became alarmed upon hearing w.a.n.g Guangning’s words. He threw down the bags and rushed over. Grabbing the phone, he said, “Hey, mom, it’s me!”
……
“Yes, yes. He didn’t lie to you, I rented out a room……”
“Hehe, I’m making some pocket money~!”
“Hey, I’ll find another time to explain this matter to you……”
“Uh…there’s been no sign of success yet³, don’t speak nonsense……”
[3] 八字还没一撇: literally means ‘there is not even the first stroke of the character eight’; things have not even begun to take shape.
Zhang Lingyi talked on the phone while waving a hand at w.a.n.g Guangning, hinting for him to go somewhere else.
w.a.n.g Guangning was a person who paid great attention to personal privacy; since Zhang Lingyi did not want him to listen, he wouldn’t try to stay. He turned and headed back to his room.
However, this did not mean that he had not heard anything at all.
If it really was as Zhang Lingyi said, then it was impossible for his mother not to know that he had previously rented out a room.
Therefore, Zhang Lingyi’s family simply had not rented out their rooms before.
In fact, even if one just randomly thought about it, something fishy could be detected within such a seemingly uncomplicated argument. Zhang Lingyi’s family basically did not lack money; furthermore, his position at work was not bad. After graduation, when many people were renting out their house, he already had his own apartment. How could he have had any financial pressure.
Hence, Zhang Linyi saying that their house was being rented out was just to convince w.a.n.g Guangning to move in.
But why would he do this?
Was it just to help out a friend? Or was there another reason?
w.a.n.g Guangning sat blankly on the edge of his bed.
He was unable to control the direction that his thoughts were heading towards; yet, his fear of what could be lost also caused him to have no choice except forcibly curbing his imagination from running wild.
This kind of state of mind where he felt both antic.i.p.ation and fear of being hurt made w.a.n.g Guangning perplexed and uneasy.
He didn’t know how much time had pa.s.sed. It was only when his phone rang that w.a.n.g Guangning abruptly returned to his senses. Picking it up, he realised it was Sun Siyang.
“Fatty Sun, what is it?” w.a.n.g Guangning walked over to the bay window. Sitting down, he lifted a foot and placed it on the window ledge while the other stayed on the ground. It was casual and cosy.
“Our school’s sixty year anniversary is next month. Do you want to go back and visit?” Sun Siyang asked.
w.a.n.g Guangning thought about it for a moment. “Can I not go?”
After all, that year, he had left F University without having said a word to anyone. If he went back this time and met someone he knew, he was afraid that it wouldn’t be easy to explain.
“You dare!” Sun Siyang said angrily, “I have already released the news of your return. Everyone has unanimously voted to give you one chance to apologise if invite us out for a meal. If you dare to not show up, we might even find someone to chase and kill you near your company!”
w.a.n.g Guangning: “……”
Sun Siyang, you big mouth!
“Alright, then ask everyone to be merciful⁴ and not order dishes that are too expensive when that time comes. ” w.a.n.g Guangning sighed.
[4] 手下留情: lit. start off leniently; please do not be too strict (to me).
“How is that possible?” Upon hearing that w.a.n.g Guangning agreed to go, Sun Siyang’s voice instantly became cheerful. “We’ve already opened our menus.”
w.a.n.g Guangning: “……”
Hanging up, he stared out the window. Dusk was gathering, and the neon lights were like scattered flowers.
There was a knock on his door, then Zhang Lingyi pushed it open. His face was revealed through the crack. “Shou shou, I’ve finished cooking dinner. Come out and eat!”
w.a.n.g Guangning suddenly woke with a start from his thoughts. He replied blankly, “Oh.”
Sure enough, Zhang Lingyi had prepared a table of expensive dishes according to w.a.n.g Guangning’s instructions.
There were hairy crabs steamed in broth, Jinsha poplar mushrooms, curry with baked prawns, and a pot of yam and pork ribs soup.
w.a.n.g Guangning swept a glance over the table and immediately salivated. In a flash, he tossed his tangled thoughts from before to Alishan⁵.
[5] 阿里山: A mountain range in Taiwan, which feature cloud-ringed peaks and green valleys.
“Is it delicious?” Zhang Lingyi looked expectantly at w.a.n.g Guangning.
“Delicious⁶!” Without a care for image, w.a.n.g Guangning ate heartily while patting Zhang Lingyi’s shoulder with a greasy paw. “Xiao Zhang-zi⁷, you really are too wise and kind⁸!.
Zhang Lingyi peered at the paw print marks on his shoulder from the corner of his eye. It was somewhat creased, but he felt very contented inside. “It’s good that you know I’m wise and kind. In the future, when you’re searching for a husband, find someone like me!”
[6] 嚎吃: Here, 嚎 (háo) means howl/bawl. The pingyin is similar to the 好(hǎo) in 好吃, which means delicious.
[7] 小张子: Basically, WGN is calling ZLY ‘Eunuch Zhang’ since eunuchs were referred to as 小 (family name) 子.
[8] 贤慧: (of a wife) wise and kind; perfect in her traditional roles.
w.a.n.g Guangning raised his head and pushed out his chest, a hairy crab leg dangling out of his mouth. “Get lost! Laozi is the gong!”
Zhang Lingyi stared pointedly at w.a.n.g Guangning’s abdomen. He said coolly, “Ah, shou shou, how many abdominal muscles have you trained in the past four years?”
Zhang Youzhi⁹, you’re really too much. Do you think that training abdominal muscles is the same as levelling? That you can just keep adding them one by one?
[9] 幼稚: yòu zhì means childish.
However, he had to admit that Zhang Lingyi’s attack was very accurate. The amount of abdominal muscles he had was w.a.n.g Guangning’s eternal sorrow.
Hence, w.a.n.g Guangning’s expression became distorted. He ferociously flung back his head and riposted, “It’s the quality that matters, not the quant.i.ty. Even though I only have a four-pack, each muscle is significant. They’re firm and powerful, and if you feel it, they’re top quality. They’re practically the fighter aircraft amongst all other abdominal muscles. Although you have a six-pack, they’re definitely unusually high in fat content. They probably feel very soft and will easily fuse together!”
After speaking, w.a.n.g Guangning still didn’t feel satisfied, so he shifted the curry and baked prawns dish as well as the hairy crabs in front of himself. He continued imperiously, “In order to prevent your six-pack from becoming just one, you should eat less!”
Zhang Lingyi: “……”
Zhang Youzhi said, “You said that your abdominal muscles have a high quality feeling. Words alone are no proof, let me touch them!”
As he spoke, Zhang Lingyi leaned over and stroked w.a.n.g Guangning’s abdomen.
His actions were sudden, so w.a.n.g Guangning was unable to avoid it in time and was directly touched.
And then……
“f.u.c.k……ahaha……” w.a.n.g Guangning shouted, unable to control the ladle full of curry prawn in his hand as it splashed forward—
Hitting Zhang Lingyi right in the face.
En, w.a.n.g Aojiao¹⁰ had once said this——he was ticklish.
[10] 傲娇: lit. proud and loveable. Refers to people who usually carry a tough and arrogant att.i.tude, but will stick shyly to one’s side under certain conditions.
The red prawns slid down Zhang Lingyi’s face, leaving behind a viscous yellow trail. Don’t look too pleasing to the eye!
w.a.n.g Guangning couldn’t prevent a ‘pfft’ sound from escaping him.
This was why it was said that tsundere shous all had no conscience!
Zhang Lingyi’s eyes narrowed slightly.
w.a.n.g Guangning detected the dangerous atmosphere and quickly stopped laughing. “Zhang Lingyi, you brought that onto yourself. I didn’t purposely……”
“Who’s blaming you? I will take you down with me¹¹!” Zhang Lingyi yelled then threw himself over.
[11] 同归于尽: to end in mutual destruction.
Fortunately, w.a.n.g Guangning was already prepared. He immediately jumped up and rushed out of the dining room. Zhang Lingyi chased after him. w.a.n.g Guangning had just run near the sofa in the living room, so Zhang Lingyi pounced over like a fierce tiger.
His technique was not bad, and he landed head on.
As a result, w.a.n.g Guangning was pressed down onto the large sofa by Zhang Lingyi.
“Hehehe!” Zhang Lingyi crowed.
w.a.n.g Guangning: “Quickly let go of laozi!”
Zhang Lingyi: “Go on, yell. Keep yelling. Even if you yell until your throat is hoa.r.s.e¹², no one will care.”
[12] 你叫破喉咙: this phrase can have several meanings. It’s basically a play on words—叫 (say/shout) 破喉咙 (lit. broken throat/ fig. until throat is hoa.r.s.e)
Actually, this should be an ambiguous or even slightly romantic moment; however, during such a moment, w.a.n.g Guangning’s mind decided to think of a joke he had heard of a long time ago instead. Hence……
w.a.n.g Guangning: “Broken throat!”
Zhang Lingyi: “……”
w.a.n.g Guangning: “Didn’t you tell me to shout ‘broken throat’?”
Zhang Lingyi: = =
“I’ve already said that shouting ‘broken throat’ won’t help!” Zhang Lingyi leaned his own face next to w.a.n.g Guangning’s cheek. He said in a low voice, “Come. Lick the curry clean for ben shao¹³, and ben shao will let you off the hook!”
[13] 本少: this young master.
He really was completely and utterly infuriating!
Hence, w.a.n.g Guangning’s cranial nerves stretched taut then snapped. He lifted his mouth up and—
Kissed Zhang Lingyi deeply, emotions overflowing?
That was impossible. In fact, w.a.n.g Guangning swiftly nipped Zhang Lingyi with lightning speed.
“f.u.c.kf.u.c.kf.u.c.k!” Zhang Lingyi cried out in pain and rolled off the sofa.
There were obvious indents on his left cheek from w.a.n.g Guangning’s teeth. Eyes full of tears, Zhang Lingyi pointed at the other man. “Shou shou, why is your heart so fierce? Quickly check if I’ve been disfigured!”
“That won’t happen~!” w.a.n.g Guangning dusted his collar then lightly sent over a knife. “Ugly people don’t have any beauty that can be disfigured!”
Zhang Lingyi: “……”
“Hmph!” Although Zhang Lingyi wanted to fight to death with w.a.n.g Guangning, he was incapable of actually setting a hand on the other. That’s why, loyal dog gongs were liable to suffer losses, what with their tendency to be tender-hearted and doting!
In the end, he could only angrily head back to his room and look in the mirror.
Hence, on Zhang Lingyi’s second day of returning to work, everyone saw a band-aid stuck on his left cheek. For their Manager Zhang who valued his appearance as if it were his life, this simply should be an unimaginable matter, alright?
Therefore, everyone was shocked and astonished in succession.
“Manager Zhang, what happened to your face?”
Zhang Lingyi was expressionless. “I was bitten by a mosquito.”
“Mosquitoes can leave such a large bite?”
Zhang Lingyi continued being expressionless. “No, the mosquito bit the same area multiple times.”
“Uh, Manager Zhang is so indulgent towards mosquitoes?”
Zhang Lingyi preserved in being expressionless. “I was asleep, and didn’t realise.”
“Ah, the mosquito bit your face again and again. Manager, didn’t you wake up when it kept returning to bite you?” Are you a pig?!
“Can’t I be a deep sleeper?” Zhang Lingyi finally became angry¹⁴. “Why are you asking so many questions, quickly go back to work!”
[14] 恼羞成怒: to fly into a rage out of humiliation; to be ashamed into anger.
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