"Be silent!" he said between his teeth. "My shame is my pride! Do you understand!"
Outraged, quivering all over, she twisted out of his grasp.
"Then go to her!" she whispered. "Why don"t you go to her?"
And, as his angry eyes became blank:
"Don"t you understand? She is there-just across the road!" She flung open the window and pointed with shaking anger.
"Didn"t anybody tell you she is there? Then I"ll tell you. Now go to her! You are-worthy-of one another!"
"Of whom are you speaking-in G.o.d"s name!" he breathed.
Panting, flushed, flat against the wall, she looked back out of eyes that had become dark and wide, fumbling in the bosom of her gray garb. And, just where the scarlet heart was st.i.tched across her breast, she drew out a letter, and, her fascinated gaze still fixed on him, extended her arm.
He took the crumpled sheets from her in a dazed sort of way, but did not look at them.
"Who is there-across the road?" he repeated stupidly.
"Ask-Miss-Lynden."
"Letty!"
But she suddenly turned and slipped swiftly past him, leaving him there in the corridor by the open window, holding the letter in his hand.
For a while he remained there, leaning against the wall. Sounds from the other ward came indistinctly-a stifled cry, a deep groan, the hurried tread of feet, the opening or closing of windows. Once a dreadful scream rang out from a neighbouring ward, where a man had suddenly gone insane; and he could hear the sounds of the struggle, the startled orders, the shrieks, the crash of a cot; then the dreadful uproar grew fainter, receding. He roused himself, pa.s.sed an unsteady hand across his eyes, looked blindly at the letter, saw only a white blurr, and, crushing it in his clenched fist, he went down the kitchen stairs and out across the road.
A hospital guard stopped him, but on learning who he was and that he had business with Miss Lynden, directed him toward a low, one-storied, stone structure, where, under the trees, a figure wrapped in a shawl lay asleep in a chair.
"She"s been on duty all night," observed the guard. "If you"ve got to speak to her, go ahead."
"Yes," said Berkley in a dull voice, "I"ve got to speak to her."
And he walked toward her across the dead brown gra.s.s.
Letty"s head lay on a rough pine table; her slim body, supported by a broken chair, was covered by a faded shawl; and, as he looked down at her, somehow into his memory came the recollection of the first time he ever saw her so-asleep in Ca.s.son"s rooms, her childish face on the table, the room reeking with tobacco smoke and the stale odour of wine and dying flowers.
He stood for a long while beside her, looking down at the thin, pale face. Then, in pity, he turned away; and at the same moment she stirred, sat up, confused, and saw him.
"Letty, dear," he said, coming back, both hands held out to her, "I did not mean to rob you of your sleep."
"Oh-it doesn"t matter! I am so glad-" She sat up suddenly, staring at him. The next moment the tears rushed to her eyes.
"O-h," she whispered, "I wished so to see you. I am so thankful you are here. There is-there has been such-a terrible change-something has happened--"
She rose unsteadily; laid her trembling hand on his arm.
"I don"t know what it is," she said piteously, "but Ailsa-something dreadful has angered her against me--"
"Against you!"
"Oh, yes. I don"t know all of it; I know-partly."
Sleep and fatigue still confused her mind; she pressed both frail hands to her eyes, her forehead:
"It was the day I returned from seeing you at Paigecourt... . I was deadly tired when the ambulance drove into Azalea; and when it arrived here I had fallen asleep... . I woke up when it stopped. Ailsa was sitting here-in this same chair, I think-and I remember as I sat up in the ambulance that an officer was just leaving her-Captain Hallam."
She looked piteously at Berkley.
"He was one of the men I have avoided. Do you understand?"
"No... . Was he--"
"Yes, he often came to the-Canterbury. He had never spoken to me there, but Ione Carew knew him; and I was certain he would recognise me... . I thought I had succeeded in avoiding him, but he must have seen me when I was not conscious of his presence-he must have recognised me."
She looked down at her worn shoes; the tears fell silently; she smoothed her gray gown for lack of employment for her restless hands.
"Dear," he said, "do you believe he went to Ailsa with his story about you?"
"Oh, yes, yes, I am sure. What else could it be that has angered her-that drives me away from her-that burns me with the dreadful gaze she turns on me-chills me with her more dreadful silence? ... Why did he do it? I don"t know-oh, I don"t know... . Because I had never even spoken to him-in those days that I have tried so hard-so hard to forget--"
He said slowly: "He is a coward. I have known that for a long time. But most men are. The disgrace lies in acting like one... And I-that is why I didn"t run in battle... . Because, that first day, when they fired on our waggons, I saw him riding in the road behind us. n.o.body else suspected him to be within miles. I saw him. And-he galloped the wrong way. And that is why I-did what I did! He shocked me into doing it... . But I never before have told a soul. I would not tell even you-but the man, yesterday, put himself beyond the pale. And it can make no difference now, for he carries the mark into his grave."
He shuddered slightly. "G.o.d forbid I hold him up to scorn. I might, this very moment, be what he is now. No man may know-no man can foretell how he will bear himself in time of stress. I have a sorry record of my own. Battle is not the only conflict that makes men or cowards."
He stood silent, gazing into s.p.a.ce. Letty"s tears dried as she watched him.
"Have you seen-her?" she asked tremulously.
"Yes."
The girl sighed and looked down.
"I am so sorry about Colonel Arran ... . I believe, somehow, he will get well."
"Do you really believe it, Letty?"
"Yes. The wound is clean. I have seen many recover who were far more dangerously hurt... . His age is against him, but I do truly believe he will get well."
He thought a moment. "Have you heard about Stephen Craig?"
"They have telegraphed to his affianced-a Miss Lent. You probably know her. Her brother was killed a day or two ago. Poor little thing! I believe that Miss Lent is coming. Mrs. Craig wishes to take her boy North as soon as he can be moved. And, unless the wound becomes infected, I don"t believe he is going to die."
"Where is he?"
"At Paigecourt. Many transports are waiting at the landing... . They say that there was another severe engagement near there yesterday, and that our army is victorious. I have heard, also, that we were driven in, and that your regiment lost a great many men and horses ... I don"t know which is true," she added, listlessly picking at her frayed gown; "only, as we haven"t heard the guns to-day, it seems to me that if we had lost the battle we"d have Confederate cannon thundering all around us."
"That seems reasonable," he admitted absently... . "Is Dr.
Benton here still?"
"No," she said softly.