Immediately I rushed out of Mr. Walker"s office, people were now rus.h.i.+ng outside to the field. "Guess it"s time". I said absent-mindedly as people pushed past me. I was sad and not myself. I don"t know how to describe these feelings that I was having but I know it was never a feeling I planned to ever feel. Not in this world or next. "What is wrong with you! Lara Cila" I yelled. By the echoes of my voice, I suddenly realized that I was alone. The hallway was so quiet that you could hear your own breathing.
I tiptoed to my locker to get my bag and probably leave. Through my blurry eyes, I saw him. Just one look from his behind, I already knew it was him. He was fiddling with his keys like he always does...
My heart was now beating so fast that I felt it ripped off my chest as I run and wrapped my arms around him. Almost pus.h.i.+ng us down by the intensity of my movement.
I was successful at blocking all the thoughts that were bulging to surface. One that keeps reminding me that I had my hands around someone else"s boyfriend... Is he someone else"s?
... Is he mine? Or will I always be my mother"s daughter? No! I was frightened at the thought and my hold continues tightened. Steven didn"t budge an inch as he exhaled deeply and ma.s.saging my hand that was wrapped around him from behind. I quietly lay my head against his back.
That instance, my mind has traveled miles away, leaving me with Steve which I was glad for. Deep down I know that if anything were to change the way he thinks of me, his feelings for me would still be there. Gus.h.!.+ He is the only guy that has ever made me feel that these feelings I call unrealistic, these feelings I"ve been running from might still exist somewhere in this world. I pray to be right.
Right now, all I wanted to do was to stay here, this way with him for whatever it may be I"d forgotten where we were, I"d forgotten that someone might walk up any minute.
I"ve forgotten everything entirely. All the negative emotions that I have been feeling recently within have all been dissolved and turned into something glorious that makes me feel jellies as I continue to sink into this wonderful moment, I begin to imagine him as my boyfriend.
Gus.h.!.+ This dude is way too good to be my boyfriend. I grossed at the thought. Well, I guess the traveler has returned and was now fully in active mode. "I"m sorry,". I said softly the moment he tried to move from my hold. "Steve?". I called as he pulled out, walking out without turning to me.
He stopped but didn"t turn to me. "Stay while I play today, will you?". I nodded and realized that he couldn"t see me.
"Yes". I said, my voice dried. "Steve?". I called but he ignored me and walked away. I heavied a sigh and falls on my feet, my hands covering my ears. (Steven really walked out on me, it just dawned on me)
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