She moved as if to stand and he leapt forward, toppling his chair in the process, and grabbed her in his arms as she started to fall.
"Mind your ankle," he admonished. Torin"s senses went on full alert as he gathered her close and held her. "I didn"t mean to imply-I"m sorry, Alaina."
She gazed up into his eyes and he felt her ridged body soften in his embrace. He lifted her from her feet and sat down again in her chair with her in his lap as she looked at him in wonder.
For a moment he forgot the past and the future. All he could think of was the woman sitting in his lap. Nothing else mattered. He understood now the recognition that sparked between their souls on the dock at Ballyvaughn. They were created for one another.
Neither of them spoke. The air hung heavy between them. The attraction had become too much to ignore.
She stared at him, her breathing short and shallow as her eyes clouded. He knew what she was feeling, even if she did not. He knew how to satisfy the fire that smoldered in those amber depths. How he wanted to satisfy them both...here...now.
He claimed her mouth in a gentle kiss-a sweet kiss borne of tenderness and wrapped in control. But it produced the spark he had dreaded and soon scorched his last visage of self-restraint. Her soft hands on his face were his undoing-the ardent acceptance of his lips on hers, his breaking point.
Alaina moaned softly as he wrapped his arms about her and pulled her more deeply into the kiss. He stroked the seam of her lips with his tongue and she opened for him, allowing him to delve into the sweet recesses of her mouth. She gasped and pulled away a little before he coaxed her back, closer, deeper.
Her fingers threaded through his hair and Torin felt the weight of her bottom pressed against him. The sensation increased the flow of blood to that region as his body hardened with need and desire.
Thought became hazy as l.u.s.t took over. The feel of her curves beneath his hands...the scent of her hair...the small sounds of pleasure she made as his tongue dueled with hers were all his undoing. All he knew was her touch, the feel of her, the need that rose until the feral beast within demanded he take her. Now. His woman. She had been given to him. Why not take what had been dropped at his feet?
Then her soft sigh of acceptance, her sweet, innocent trust as she all but melted into him did what no amount of cold water or self-righteous denial could. It tamed the beast and sent it slithering back to where it belonged.
Torin pulled back from her, his hands gentle but firm on her flushed face as he broke the kiss. "Forgive me," he muttered, his voice still thick with pa.s.sion. He leaned his forehead against hers and fought to control his ragged breathing and the roar of blood through his veins. Other parts of his anatomy protested as he pulled away.
"What for?" she asked as she blinked her clouded eyes in confusion.
Torin sighed. "For taking advantage. You"re far too innocent for your own good, la.s.s."
That seemed to shock her out of her daze. "I am not." He raised a brow and her face turned scarlet. "I mean..." She cleared her throat. "You say it like it"s something to be ashamed of when it"s not. You were the one that started this..." She waved a hand between them and glanced away, arms folded over her middle.
When she wiggled as if to stand, Torin tightened his arms about her to keep her in place. Not only would she fall on that bad ankle, but he didn"t want her to notice the full effect she had on him just now. He wasn"t sure of the extent of her education regarding the ways between a man and woman, and had no desire to be the one to explain.
""Tis not what I meant, Alaina," he said softly. "Innocence is a grand thing-something you should hold onto for dear life. Don"t be giving it away too quickly." He traced her soft lips with his fingertip and found the sensation mesmerizing, intoxicating.
But he couldn"t let it happen again. Next time he would not be able to stop. "I"d best get you home to Mum." He stood with her in his arms. "I haven"t got a carriage, I"m afraid. You"ll have to ride Declan with me."
She wound her arms about his neck, keeping her gaze lowered so that he couldn"t see her eyes. Torin carried her outside to a small stable where the black gelding awaited snorting and stamping his hooves. He set her down on a stool near the door as he opened the stall door and let the horse emerge. The beast waited patiently as Torin saddled him for the ride. There was nothing Declan loved better than a good run across the Burren.
When Torin lifted Alaina and carried her to the horse, he again reveled in the encompa.s.sing warmth of her soft body against his lean, hard muscles. He couldn"t help enjoy the close physical contact with her, despite the way his conscience prodded him at every turn.
"What a beautiful animal," she whispered, gazing at the horse with open admiration.
"Aye, that he is-and a stubborn one, too, but brave," Torin said. "He was gift from a man I went to the university with. He moved back to England after a year and made his fortune. Later he sent Declan to me. I raised him from a colt. We understand each other. We trust each other."
Lifting her up onto the saddle he then mounted the horse behind her. With one hand Torin held the reins as he wrapped his other around her waist, pulling her back against him.
"Are you warm enough, darlin"?" She nodded and Torin nudged the horse with his heels to a walk. They were off, back across the Burren. At first, she sat almost ridged as if she feared their closeness, but soon he felt her body relax into his. The soft curve of her bottom settled more firmly against his thighs and he had to clench his jaw not to moan out loud. The rhythmic movement of the horse lulled her to sleep while it did very erotic things to his own body.
He felt her going more and more limp in his arms. Alaina sank further against his chest with a sigh. He kissed her hair, breathing the scent in deeply as the soft strands brushed against his chin.
All too soon they were back at his mum"s house. Torin kissed her silky hair again before dismounting. Then he reached up to Alaina who sat swaying in the saddle; her eyes still half-closed as she drifted on a plain somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. Sliding her down and into his arms, he cradled her.
Torin was rewarded as she slid her arms about his neck and pressed her cool forehead against his throat. For a brief moment, he stood there holding her in his arms and just enjoying the closeness. The interlude was short as Maggie appeared anxiously in the doorway. Torin sighed and moved up the walkway to enter the house, his mother hovering beside him.
"What happened? Where has she been?" Maggie demanded.
"Shush!" Torin warned her quietly as Alaina stirred in his arms. "You"ll wake her, Mum. She"s just twisted her ankle. I think she"ll be much better by morning. Come help me get her to bed. She"s exhausted."
As he led Maggie up the stairs she continued speaking. "I woke up around one o"clock and noticed her door was open but she wasn"t in the room. At first I thought she had gone downstairs, but when I couldn"t find her anywhere, I didn"t know what to think!"
They entered Alaina"s room, Maggie brushing past her son in order to turn down the blankets.
"Apparently she couldn"t sleep and went out for a walk..." Torin began.
"At this time of night?" she questioned. "How did she hurt her ankle? How did you find her?"
Torin bent to lay his parcel on the bed.
"I"ll tell you everything later, Mum. Let"s get her in bed first and we can talk downstairs."
As he tried to stand, Alaina tightened her grip, moaning in protest.
"Alaina, darlin", you can let go now, you"re home and safe," he whispered near her ear, but her hold on him only tightened further. "Alaina..."
Gently he tried again to pry her arms from around his neck, but she was very determined even in unconsciousness.
"No," she murmured, pulling him down to her. "Don"t leave me, Torin."
His heart lurched at her request. With a sigh, Torin sat on the bed beside her, unwound her arms from about his neck and placed her soft hand protectively beneath his own. Maggie raised her eyebrows and looked at him, one corner of her mouth twitching as if she tried to suppress a smile.
"She"ll be deeply asleep soon, and then I can slip away without waking her," he said, his tone a little defensive.
The wise woman looked at him and smiled. "All right, lad. You do what you have to. I"ll wait for you downstairs. And mind you remember where and who you are!"
Torin frowned at her as she turned to leave the room. His mother could be so exasperating, yet she understood him too well and likely discerned what he was feeling. Maggie O"Brien knew him better than he knew himself, of that he was sure.
Alaina stirred against him and he looked down at her peaceful face. How would it be to awake with this angel in his arms every morn? To have her sweet smile be the last sight at night? But how could he ever prove himself worthy of her?
Torin"s patience was rewarded and he felt her grip loosen. With some reluctance he untwined her fingers from his and stood. She made a small sound of protest in her sleep, then tucked both hands beneath her cheek with a soft sigh.
Removing her remaining boot he then pulled the covers over her still frame. He watched her sleep for a minute. He memorized the way her chest rose and fell; her serene countenance; her dark auburn hair spilled across the white pillows.
"I discovered something tonight, Mum." He twirled the warm dark liquid, waiting for her to respond. When she didn"t, he sighed. "I"ve realized that I"ve come to care for Alaina."
Maggie"s cup hit the table with a thud and he grimaced. Here it came-the lecture about integrity all the things he had told himself over and over again these past months.
"Saints be praised!"
He looked up at her, mouth gaping.
"What?" Torin shook his head. "You...aren"t you upset or disappointed in me?"
"Of course not, lad!" she said, patting his arm across the table. "I"m relieved. I was so afraid you"d send the la.s.s away despite everything. Just like your father, you are-head as thick as a clint and pride as wide as the ocean!"
Torin couldn"t believe his ears.
"Now, don"t you be looking at me like that, Torin! You would have lived your life alone and miserable. That "twas something I could not endure."
He sat staring at her, shaking his head. "But if you felt this way all along, why didn"t you say something? Why didn"t you try to talk me out of it?"
Maggie looked heavenward and sighed. "And just what should I have said?" she asked, fixing her son with a hard stare. "How could I possibly have told you I thought you were being too hard on yourself and acting like a stubborn fool? Och! "tis sure you would have stuck out that chin and wrapped that smothering pride around you like a shield. All for the sake of appearances! All for the sake of your precious honor and integrity!"
"Now just a minute, Mum!" he said. "Integrity and honor are important in a man."
"No less so in a woman!" Maggie countered. "But what kind of integrity have you got, lad, when you"re doing the exact opposite of what your heart longs for?"
"How do you know what my heart longs for, Mum?"
She smiled, her eyes sparkling with joy. "You were my first born, Torin. I carried you in my body, gave you life and suckled you at my breast," Torin shifted on his seat but Maggie continued despite his embarra.s.sment. "I know you, lad. I know what makes you happy and what makes you want to cry. I see the pain in your eyes when you watch a young family-a man with his wife and wee children. "Tis something you long for in the very depths of your soul, something that you should have. You will be a good father and devoted husband."
Torin shook his head. He found the tears welling in his eyes disconcerting. He hadn"t cried in years, not in front of anyone. "But, Mum...I"m not good enough for her."
Maggie"s eyebrows shot up. "Just who said that, I"d like to know?"
He shook his head and drained the lukewarm coffee from his cup. "I said that. I"ve sailed through too much sin in my life. I will never be pure and clean again. Alaina glows with heaven"s own light. I can never ask such an innocent woman to join her life to mine. Not after the things I have done...after all the women-"
"That"s enough!" Maggie lifted a hand to silence him. "Torin, you have repented as best you can. You have forsaken past and moved on with your life. G.o.d has forgiven you! "Tis time to forgive yourself."
"But the world hasn"t forgiven or forgotten. How can I ask her to share my life with this shadow of guilt hanging over me? She doesn"t deserve such a thing."
Maggie"s eyes flashed with anger. "Now, why don"t you be giving her that choice instead of making it for her? If she"s the la.s.s I think she is, no amount of foolish gossip will frighten her off."
"Mum-"
"Nay!" Maggie waved a hand in dismissal. "You"ve done all you can. Don"t pa.s.s by this chance at happiness because you"re afraid of what might happen. If we all did that, no one would ever marry or have children. There are no guarantees, Torin, only hope and faith."
Torin smiled at his mother. No wonder he loved her so-her honesty, her pa.s.sion, her forthright ways of dealing with life. No wonder his father had loved her until his dying breath.
"You miss Dad, don"t you?" he murmured.
She looked at him, her gaze soft and wistful. "Aye, that I do. Your Dadai was a good man, a hard man, sometimes, but a good man. He loved you Torin. He only wanted the best for you. He just didn"t know how to guide you in that direction."
"I wish..." Torin stumbled over the words, his voice catching. "I wish I had been here when he died, Mum. I wish I had told him that I loved him and I was sorry for everything."
Maggie reached out and took his hand in hers. "He knew, lad, believe me, he knew. Near the end, I think a part of him knew his time was nigh. He told me that he wished he hadn"t pushed you so. He finally understood that "twas your life, not his. He just hadn"t known how to lead you there instead of dragging you behind."
"I"ve failed so much in my life, Mum. I hurt you and Dad so. I don"t know if I could survive losing Alaina."
She reached out to lay her hand over his. "Are you happy with your life, lad?"
Torin shook his head, for the first time noticing both the strength and grace in his mother"s hands.
"You"ve made mistakes. You"ve paid the price. Don"t make a bigger mistake. It is time you make your choice get on with your life before any more years are wasted!" Maggie paused as a thoughtful expression pa.s.sed over her face. "No, that"s not fair of me. The years haven"t been wasted. Torin, love, there were many times I was thinking that cutting yourself off from the world was for the best. There were days that I wondered how you"d survive the life you were leading-going from woman to woman, bottle to bottle.
"It may be burden now, changing your direction. "Tis a frightening idea to bind your heart to another"s. But I think you"re ready, lad. I think you"ve made yourself whole again. Maybe hiding away was the right thing so you"d be ready when the right woman came into your life."
Torin looked up into his mother"s eyes and saw a mixture of love and relief in the glistening tears that had gathered. He stood, leaned over the table and kissed her forehead.
"I"m not sure where my life is headed, but I am truly thankful to have been blessed with you for a mother." Torin pulled her to her feet and lifted her into a tight hug.
Chapter Eight.
A week later, her ankle had healed and Alaina felt the need to get out and about once more. Early one morning as the sun began to rise, she took the opposite route she"d gone before her mishap and headed into town.
It had rained all night, the byways still filled with puddles, the muddy ground treacherous and slick. Gray clouds drifted over the sky, hiding the sunrise and casting the street in deep shadows. A crisp breeze blew off the ocean, bringing with it the pungent smells of salt and fish.
She walked briskly along the muddy road, holding her skirts high at her ankles. The small thatched buildings on either side stood dark and silent. She neared the pub, noting the crude wooden sign proudly proclaiming that Shannon"s had been established in 1830. Her father must have frequented the tavern when he"d lived nearby.
She could almost hear his voice in her mind, filled with gentle humor and raised in song between gulps of ale and shots of whiskey. As soon as he was well enough, she"d make sure to bring him here.
A tremor suddenly pa.s.sed over her skin as she caught a glimpse of a shadow on the ground, pooling with her own, a dark presence hovering behind her.
"Well, what have we here this fine mornin"?"
Alaina spun around, her hands fisting the heavy black cotton of her dress and cloak. She fought the instinct to scream and run as she recognized the man standing before her. Nick Doogan.
He grinned at her, chuckling as she took a jerky step back.
"Excuse me." She hated that her voice quaked with fear. His appearance had been too sudden, too unexpected for her to steel her nerves.
"Now, now la.s.sie," he said, the leer in his eyes made her cringe. ""Tis sure you have time for an old friend, aye?"
Alaina bristled, wrapping her indignation around her like a shield even as she folded her arms across her middle.
"You are no friend of mine, Mr. Doogan. Nor are you a gentleman." She turned to leave but he caught her by the arm, jerking her backward. Alaina gasped as his fingers sunk into her flesh with bruising force.
"How soon we forget our manners, la.s.sie," he sneered. "Must come of lying down with the dogs...or a certain Irishman, I"ll wager." He bent closer, his face only a hair"s breadth from hers. Alaina recoiled at the smell of stale whiskey and smoke on his breath. His clothes reeked of sweat. "And, "tis very sure I never claimed to be no gentleman."
"Let...me...go," she commanded through clenched teeth, enunciating each word with all the self-control she could muster.
"I haven"t finished with you yet, Miss High and Mighty. Now that the O"Brien isn"t in the shadows, waiting to rescue his lady love, you and I can get better acquainted."