Dammit!
But she couldnt really give him too much h.e.l.l since the beam of light, which punched a neat hole through her windshield, streaked ahead of them, hit Jelly dude, and sliced a limb clear off. Stroke of luck or on purpose, it happened to be the one with a weapon pointed at them.
She slapped the steering wheel. Woo! she crowed. Nice shot.
An unearthly"and she meant that quite literally"squeal erupted, and the remaining tentacles waved wildly. Jilly flashed Mo"which had to be the universes stupidest name for an alien"the bird as she flew by in her rattling truck.
Energized by their small victory, she exclaimed, Dude, we should stop and turn around. I take back all the nasty things I said about your little gun. Its amazing. Do it again. Maybe they wouldnt have to flee after all. Vile could just keep shooting the other alien dude until it had no waggling arms left.
That wouldnt be advisable, was Viles dry reply. There is a reason we advocate strong flame or acid when dealing with Mo and his kind.
Peeking into her rearview mirror, Jillys eyes widened, and her mouth closed on her Why? as the severed limb on the ground jumped.
And wiggled.
And rippled.
Why, it jiggled itself into a second mini jelly dude.
What. The. h.e.l.l!
Congratulations. Youve just seen the birth of a new Gelabli. Now do you see why I advocated we flee?
Thats insane.
No. Its how they reproduce.
Startling and disturbing. Wow, given how easily they can multiply, have they like taken over the galaxy?
Theyve tried. However, given we know their weakness, they had to give up. Also, they are covetous and violent by nature, even with their own progeny. To lose a part of themselves means weakening until they can ingest enough material to regain what theyve lost. And since they dont like to share, many younglings dont survive.
That is seriously messed up, she muttered as she careened down the rest of her long driveway and fishtailed onto the country road. In the rearview mirror she could still see the glow of the fire consuming her home and see the dark cloud of smoke in the sky.
It hit her then.
Im homeless.
The fact that she probably wouldnt have found the money for the bank before the banks foreclosing date didnt hurt as much as knowing, even if she did encounter a miracle, she had no house to go back to.
Nothing. Just what she wore, her truck, and the stupid artifact shed stuffed in her coat pocket.
It was a lot to take in. A part of her wanted to cry. A part of her wanted to rail at the injustice. A part of herfound it strangely exhilarating, which was why, instead of blasting Vile, she said, What next, purple dude?
Chapter Six.
Its not stealing if you manage to point out flaws in a security network. " How to justify your acquisition should the previous owner file a complaint.
What next involved them finding somewhere to hole up while Vhyl checked on the status of his vessel. It perturbed him that his enemy had tracked him to Earth. His fault for using a pod craft instead of more stealthy means.
Of more concern than the Gelabli attack was the fact Vhyl now had to worry about the state of his s.p.a.cecraft. Even though his vessels cloaking was engaged, Mo might have located and sabotaged Vhyls ship"which would really irritate Vhyl, as hed only recently acquired the wondrous craft"straight from the government facility where theyd developed it in the Lojica Galaxy, a place renowned for their wondrous inventions but unwillingness to share them.
Since Vhyl didnt like their stance, he took it. In retaliation, they locked the vessel down, making him a prisoner on it until he agreed to their price tag"the annihilation of the solar system alongside them where their greatest compet.i.tors lived. While paying for something went against the mercenary way, destroying things didnt. Hence he paid their price.
Then he returned to Lojica for a few more toys he coveted. He considered the flaws he uncovered in their security system payment of a sort for the items he acquired. If you asked him, hed done them a favor, and as such, the objects he took were compensation for a job well done. Given he was pointing a gun at their president at the time, they agreed on his generous price.
I must contact my ship and arrange for transportation for myself and the artifact off planet. Therefore, we need a secure location where we might rest, wait, and plan.
Whats wrong with where you are now? she asked.
Now had a spring digging in his backside, spewed fumes that were probably toxic, and was about as subtle as a Lxroakian charging through a gla.s.s shop. Id prefer something a little more comfortable. Does your planet not have establishments that allow visitors the use of rooms for short stays?
Yeah, we have hotels and motels.
Take us to one then. Preferably one in a civilized location. My enemy will have difficulty blending in, and despite his brazen attack at your farm, he wont want to draw unwanted attention to himself. Lest he bring the galactic police after him for breaking one of the councils iron-clad rules about planets that didnt belong to their consortium.
The rules revolving around uninitiated worlds, such as Earth, spanned several tomes of literature but boiled down to one simple phrase: Stay away from Earth.
Book us a room, he says. She snickered. Good luck with that. I didnt have time to grab my wallet. Without money, there isnt a place in the world that will give us a room. The best I can do is park on the side of the road and hope the cops dont cruise by and cite us for loitering.
I will handle any requests for finances. Just find us a hostelry.
If you insist.
I do.
As she drove, the occasional pa.s.sing vehicle illuminating her features, Vhyl wondered that he still traveled with the barbarian female. More than that, hed saved her. First from the government agents who would have taken her. Then from the explosion of gla.s.s and Mos arrival. It would have astonished anyone who knew him that he hadnt ditched her to escape on his own.
Frukx if I know why Im still with her. Or why I keep defending her.
This type of protective instinct went against his usual morals. By all the moons hed destroyed"because he did so like to play with weapons of ma.s.s destruction"hed never before wondered what it would be like to have a permanent bedmate in his life and a partner to share his career of mayhem and acquisitions.
What happened to enjoying his solitary life where the most important thing was the acquisition of rare goods?
It was lonely.
The revelation came to him suddenly and unexpectedly.
Im lonely. The endless units of time where he did nothing but attempt to find something, anything to dull the boredom of travel. The moments when he accomplished something great and had no one but his mother to brag to.
Staring at Jillys profile, he wondered what it would be like to keep her by his side, to have her welcome him after an exhilarating heist. To have her aid him in nefarious plots.
Insane. Where did these crazy ideas come from?
It must be the oxygen levels of this planet rendering me irrational. What else to explain it? He barely knew the female. Other than the facts that she is fearless, outspoken, and tastes delicious.
As the sun crested the horizon, Jilly pulled into a parking lot dotted with vehicles. A large sign flashed overhead, the A in Vacancies dark, but the meaning still quite clear.
Now what, oh noticeable purple one? she asked.
Time to disguise myself and acquire the use of a room. Flashing her a smile, Vhyl tapped his wristband. With only a slight shimmer, he adopted a human glamour that would withstand close scrutiny, just not touch.
Amazing, she murmured. But I still dont know how you figure youll get a key without a credit card or cash.
Such doubt. Youll see. Vhyl wasnt a master of acquisition for nothing.
In short order, he returned, bearing not only a key, but also an armful of culinary items to feed them both. Given his knowledge of this world, he was made to understand"to his dismay"that Earthlings had yet to manage proper food replication via a machine.
Utter barbarians. Growing their food and killing animals for consumption? That was something a warrior only did out of necessity. Civilized mercenaries and acquisition experts relied on technology to properly feed them.
Jilly was looking away from him when he emerged from the registration office, fingers tapping on the round thing she called a steering wheel, which, if he recalled his history lessons correctly, was something his kind had used on extremely early propulsion vehicles.
Shudder.
He much preferred the accuracy of a computer than relying on organic reflexes to guide him at high speeds.
He clambered into the truck, which even he had to admit had a certain rugged appeal. The attendant placed us on the second floor at the far end, he told her.
Second floor? Shouldnt we have taken the first for a quick escape?
Height is always an advantage, he informed her. Much harder for a.s.sailants to surround when they must climb.
Good to know. Ill store that with my other bits of useless knowledge Ill never use again.
It took him a moment to grasp she jested, and to his surprise, he laughed. Dont be so sure. Given your att.i.tude, I am surprised youve led a strife-free life thus far.
There is nothing wrong with my att.i.tude.
I didnt say I didnt appreciate your rapier wit. But, where I come from, a female with a saucy mouth like yours would definitely get in trouble.
Unless he was around. Id kill anyone who laid a hand on her. And enjoy it.
Well then, I guess its a good thing Im not a part of your world.
Not really. It surprised him to realize hed probably miss their lively discourses once he departed.
Ensure you park the vehicle facing outward in case we should require a hasty departure.
Whats wrong? Worried your coffin might not make it back in time to pick you up?
Actually, yes. While hed managed"despite the jostling of the truck"to ping his craft in orbit behind the moon, his transport carrier hadnt fared as well.
My surface pod lost contact with my craft upon its return approach to your home.
Jelly dude shot it down, did he?
No, it seems your military aerial defense intercepted it. I had to initiate a self-destruct sequence, lest it fall into their less-than-ready hands.
No alien technology for us?
Your planet is on a non-tampering list.
And yet here you are, tampering.
Acquiring. There is a difference.
So yours is sanctioned?
Of course not, he replied, unable to completely mask his indignation. Perish the thought. My activities are completely illegal and punishable by death.
She regarded him with curiosity. So why do it then?
What is life without a little danger? His smile might have been a tad rakish. He did so find pleasure in breaking the law. But it seemed, in this instance, she found merit in his reaction because she returned his grin and laughed.
The sound, husky and genuine, thrilled him. He wanted to hear it again, but not out here in the open. Let us get inside where we are less noticeable.
With his wrist monitor scanning the environs and his eyes also taking in the scenery, they made it to the second floor"using stairs of all things"and found their room, the first door, which Vhyl bypa.s.sed.
What are you doing? Jilly inquired. I thought you said we had the end unit.
We do. Which, if any enemies follow and question the attendant, is the first place theyll look. Hence why I stole this key while the clerk was otherwise occupied. A subtle suggestion to look away while Vhyl swapped the keys with a vacant one four doors away. Close enough to keep an eye on their supposed room but far enough to give them time and s.p.a.ce to plot an escape if required.
He ushered them quickly inside.
The interior of their quarters proved less than impressive. Two less-than-sizable beds covered in a green patterned fabric, a single chair with a slick, almost plastic covering, and a view screen bolted to a piece of furniture with drawers.
Ugly, but serviceable.
He dumped the contents of his haul on the bed. Jilly eyed the stash and shook her head. Holy junk food, purple dude. Chips and candy bars. So much for healthy.
It was all the vending machine had.
She wrinkled her nose. I guess beggars cant be choosers. It will be just like my good old college days when I used to live on chocolate bars and cola. With all that caffeine and sugar, at least I wont have to worry about falling asleep.
You should take a moment to rest. We could be called upon to escape at any moment.
Whats with this we stuff? You know, it occurs to me that most of my problems would disappear if I ditched you.
Yes, they probably would, and yet, he found himself reluctant to let her go. He tried to rationalize this strange feeling. Given your a.s.sociation with me, you are probably safer at the moment in my company. My enemy might think you useful as a bargaining chip.
Vile, is this your way of saying you care about me?