"Did you know a woman named Evelyn Jones?"
Justin thought for a moment, then shook his head. "Doesn"t ring a bell. Sorry."
"That"s okay." Katherine sat down, suddenly weak with disappointment.
"A lot of people come through here, though," Justin said, obviously sensing her unhappiness. "I don"t know everyone."
"She would have been about nineteen or twenty back then. She had brown hair and blue eyes, a long face, great smile, really inviting laugh. She was vibrant, the kind of woman who could make friends without trying." Justin didn"t even blink. His face was a complete blank. "You don"t remember anyone like that?"
"No. Evelyn, you said, right?"
"Yes."
He shook his head. "I wish I could help you, but I can"t. Mind if I ask why you"re asking?"
"I found some napkins and matchbooks with the name Golden"s on them in an old chest of my mother"s. I think she and her boyfriend may have met here regularly during the seventies, and I"m hoping to learn more about her life back then."
"Well, good luck. Let me know if there"s anything else I can get you," Justin said as he walked away.
Katherine took a sip of her water and frowned at Zach"s curious smile. "What?" she demanded.
He lifted the beer bottle to his lips and took a long draft. "Nothing."
"So he doesn"t remember her, so what? It"s just going to take a while."
"Like maybe the rest of your life. You have nothing to go on, Kat."
"My name is Katherine."
He ignored her complaint and leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Did you happen to catch the bartender"s name?"
"Justin Blakemore. So?"
"Justin. J."
"Oh." She sat back in her chair and looked over at the bar. "He"s about the right age."
"And he worked here in 1972."
"You mean, maybe my mother came here because she wanted to be with him even if he was working?"
"I don"t mean anything," Zach said with a laugh. "I"m just pointing out the fact that you have one more candidate to add to your list next to J.T. But I have to say, you have a h.e.l.l of an imagination."
She made a face at him. "It could be true." She lowered her voice. "Is he married?"
"Yep. I don"t know how long, but he"s got kids your age, I"d say."
"My age, huh? That means he was probably married in 1972."
"More than likely."
She cast the bartender another curious glance. "Maybe that was the reason for the secrecy. Justin was married. He could still be my father."
"He didn"t even recognize your mother"s name."
"No." She paused, caught back by that little fact.
"Don"t you have grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins-someone you can ask for more information?"
"No one. My mother and I were all alone before she married Mitch.e.l.l. She grew up in rural Minnesota but her parents died when she was young. She was raised by a great-aunt who also died when she was about eighteen. So she came to California and started out on her own."
"Everyone died?" Zach took another sip of his beer and set it back on the table. "That"s convenient."
"You think she lied to me?" The words stuck in Katherine"s throat, the thought that her mother could have lied to her...
"People lie all the time," Zach said.
"Not mothers."
"Especially mothers."
His tone was flat and hard and unforgiving, matching the stern expression on his face. He could change as fast as a chameleon, charming and s.e.xy one minute, hard as nails the next.
"I don"t think my mother lied to me," she said carefully.
"And you think her maiden name was Jones, which happens to be one of the most popular names in the world?"
"Some people are named Jones."
"And some people use names that help them fit into the crowd. People who don"t want anyone to know who they really are. People who want to start fresh without their past biting them in the buff."
"I don"t know any people like that. I don"t think we travel in the same circles," she said sharply, surprised by the flash of pain that raced through his eyes.
"Well, you got that right." He finished his beer, then set it down on the table with a bang. "I"ll see you around."
"Wait," she said as he stood up. "I"m sorry. I didn"t mean that."
"Sure you did, and you spoke the truth. We don"t move in the same circles."
"Sit down-please."
Zach sent her a long look, then reluctantly sat back down.
She took a breath, then let it out. "I don"t want to think my mother lied to me, but I can"t explain why she would have a chest full of Kentucky memorabilia if she grew up in Minnesota."
His gaze didn"t waver. "Because she obviously didn"t want to be reminded of Kentucky. Doesn"t that tell you something? Doesn"t that imply that the past should be left alone?"
Before she could answer, Justin came back to the table.
"I was thinking about your question," Justin said. "Did your mother call herself Evie?"
"I don"t know if anyone ever shortened it." Katherine"s heart began to pound against her chest. "You remember something, don"t you?"
"A girl named Evie. I think her picture is on the wall. Would you like to see it?"
"Yes, absolutely."
Justin took Katherine over to the wall of photographs, searching the pictures with his finger until he located the one he wanted. "This is it."
Katherine was almost afraid to step closer. Would she see her mother"s face? Or a stranger? She took a deep breath while her gaze settled on the photograph of a woman seated at a table for two. The photo was in black and white, and the woman"s face was in profile, her hair long and straight. She was thin and appeared to be young, although Katherine couldn"t tell her age, nor could she tell if the woman was her mother. There was some resemblance, but the image was grainy and she couldn"t get a clear look at her face.
"I don"t know," she murmured.
Zach stepped up behind her to look at the photo, his warm breath teasing the back of her neck. For a moment she almost forgot what they were supposed to be doing.
"I recognize the guy, don"t you, Justin?" Zach said.
"Sure do."
"Who is he?" Katherine asked, reminding herself to focus on the photograph and not on Zach. The man in the picture had long hair past his collar and an intense, serious expression on his face, as if he was discussing some world event.
"That"s Jimmy Callaway," Zach said with a smile.
"Jimmy?" Her heart skipped a beat.
"You heard me."
"Jimmy Callaway runs the First American bank," Justin volunteered. "He"s lived here pretty much all of his life."
Katherine nodded as her mind processed the information. Both Jimmy and Justin started with a J. Either one of them could possibly be her father. She looked at Justin again. "Are you sure you don"t remember an Evelyn Jones?"
He shook his head. "Sorry."
"Thanks anyway."
Justin started to walk away, then paused. "You know, my father has some old photos stashed away in the office, and probably down in the bas.e.m.e.nt, too. He"s the one who took all the photos. Loved to capture people having a good time in his bar. He was pretty good about writing down people"s names. All the racing folks come in here, too, especially when it gets close to the Derby. It"s a tradition. If your mother was around during the Derby, she"s probably in a photo somewhere. I"ll have to dig "em out for you."
"That would be great." Katherine felt the hope return to her heart. "I"m staying at the hotel. If you want me to help you look through the photos, I"d be happy to."
"I"ll give you a call. I"m not sure if they"re still there, but I think they might be, because Pop never threw anything away."
"Well, that"s a start," Katherine said, turning to Zach. "Not bad for a few minutes work."
He laughed. "You sure do like to look at the bright side. As far as I can tell, you got nothing."
"Maybe photos," she pointed out. "And Jimmy Callaway. Evie is about as close to Evelyn as you can get. I think I"ll go pay Mr. Callaway a visit. Do you want to come with me?"
Zach shook his head. "I don"t think so. I"ve had about all the excitement I can take for one morning."
She made a face at him. "It"s exciting to me."
"I can see that."
"I know it seems silly to you, my searching for my father, but it"s something I"ve thought about for years."
"Why now, Katherine? What made you decide to do it now?"
"Because of the letter. I grew up thinking that my father didn"t want me, and my mom was afraid to tell me so. But when I read the letter that she wrote to him, that she was too afraid to send, I realized that he hadn"t rejected me. He didn"t even know about me."
"Are you sure your mother didn"t just call him on the phone and tell him?"
"Of course I"m not sure. I"m not sure about anything," she said pa.s.sionately. "Except that I need to know. You asked me why now. That"s why. Because I"ve spent my whole life wondering why I wasn"t good enough, why my father didn"t want me, why all the people who were supposed to love me were gone. First my father, then my mother."
Zach didn"t say anything, but his expression had softened. His eyes held a hint of understanding, and it was that little hint that kept the words pouring out.
"I remember this one time when the housekeeper took me to the park after my mom died," she said. "We were sitting on a bench when this father jumped out of his car and came running over to his little girl who was just getting off the swing. He had this incredible crown of pink roses in his hand, with purple and pink ribbons trailing off either side. He put it on his little girl"s head and said, "You are my princess."" Katherine felt her voice catch in her throat. "Then he picked her up and spun her around and around and around, and all I could hear was her laughter and him telling her how much he loved her. I wanted to be that little girl so badly. Silly, huh?"
"You saw one minute in that little girl"s life. The rest could have been terrible."
"Or it could have been wonderful." She tucked her hair behind one ear, feeling embarra.s.sed. "I"m a grown woman now, and even though you probably think I"m a complete idiot, I"m really not expecting my father to instantly love me. I know that relationships can take time."
"You are such a bad liar," he said, suddenly reaching over to cup her face with his rough-edged hands. His eyes bored into hers with an intensity she couldn"t begin to fathom. "You want to have it all."
"Don"t you? You are trying to win the Kentucky Derby, aren"t you? I mean, that"s no small feat, is it?"
He hesitated. "I guess I do want to have it all, but only where Rogue is concerned. I don"t have any illusions about the rest of my life, and I know firsthand that the word family is overrated."
"You don"t really mean that."
"I certainly do." Zach"s eyes darkened. "The truth doesn"t always set you free. Sometimes it becomes a prison from which you can never escape. Believe me, I know."
"I can"t think that way, Zach."
"I don"t know whether to feel sorry for you or admire you. Just be careful that dream of yours doesn"t take you places you don"t want to go."
Katherine licked her lips. His mouth was so close. His breath was so warm. Then Zach"s thumbs spread across her cheeks, caressing her skin, and she closed her eyes, waiting for his kiss, waiting for the hot touch of his mouth against her lips. It was too soon, too fast; she barely knew him, and still she wanted...
He pulled away his hands, and her eyes flew open. She saw the look of amus.e.m.e.nt in his eyes and felt like a fool-again.
"I"ve got a horse to run, Kat. And you"ve got a father to find. Maybe we ought to concentrate on those two things."
"You wanted to kiss me," she said boldly.
"I still do." He tipped his head. "But sometimes I think before I act. And I imagine once you start putting your list together, there will be a dozen or more good reasons why you shouldn"t kiss me."
"I"m never going to kiss you," she said with annoyance. "So get that idea out of your head right now."
He threw back his head and laughed. "Did I ever tell you my favorite saying?"