He drew a deep breath.
The ribs slid a fraction of an inch together, their broken ends grinding.
He moaned.
A high-pitched tortured moan that died quickly, but throbbed back and forth inside his head, echoing and building itself into a paean of sheer agony! It forced his tongue out of his mouth, limp in a comer of his lips, moving slightly. The robot rolled forward. He drew his tongue in, clamped his mouth shut, cut off the scream inside his head at its high point!
The robot stopped, rolled back to its duty-niche.
Oh, G.o.d! The pain! The G.o.d G.o.d where are you pain!
Beads of sweat broke out on his body. He could feel their tickle inside his s.p.a.cesuit, inside his jumper, inside the bodyshirt, on his skin. The pain of the ribs was suddenly heightened by an irresistible itching of his skin.
He moved infinitesimally within the suit, his outer appearance giving no indication of the movement. The itching did not subside. The more he tried to make it stop, the more he thought about not thinking about it, the worse it became. His armpits, the crooks of his arms, his thighs where the tight service-pants clung-suddenly too tightly-were madness. He had to scratch!
He almost started to make the movement. He stopped before he started. He knew he would never live to enjoy any relief. A laugh bubbled into his head. G.o.d Almighty, and I always laughed at the slobs who suffered with the seven-year itch, the ones who always did a little dance when they were at attention during inspection, the ones who could scratch and sigh contentedly. G.o.d, how I envy them. His thoughts were taking on a wild sound, even to him.
The p.r.i.c.kling did not stop. He twisted faintly. It got worse. He took another deep breath.
The ribs sandpapered again.
This time, blessedly, he fainted from the pain.
"Well, Terrence, how do you like your first look at a Kyben?"
Ernie Terrence wrinkled his forehead and ran a finger up the side of his face. He looked at his Commander and shrugged. "Fantastic things, aren"t they?"
"Why fantastic?" asked Commander Foley.
"Because they"re just like us. Except of course the bright yellow pigmentation and the tentacle- fingers. Other than that they"re identical to a human being."
The Commander opaqued the examination-casket and drew a cigarette from a silver case, offering the Lieutenant one. He puffed it alight, staring with one eye closed against the smoke. "More than that, I"m afraid. Their insides look like someone had taken them out, liberally mixed them with spare parts from several other species, and jammed them back in any way that fitted conveniently. For the next twenty years we"ll be knocking our heads together trying to figure out their metabolic raison d" etre."
Terrence grunted, rolling his unlit cigarette absently between two fingers. "That"s the least of it."
"You"re right," agreed the Commander. "For the next thousand years we"ll be trying to figure out how they think, why they fight, what it takes to get along with them, what motivates them."
If they let us live that long, thought Terrence.
"Why are we at war with the Kyben?" he asked the older man. "I mean really."
"Because the Kyben want to kill every human being they can recognize as a human being."
"What have they got against us?"
"Does it matter? Maybe it"s because our skin isn"t bright yellow; maybe it"s because our fingers aren"t silken and flexible; maybe it"s because our cities are too noisy for them. Maybe a lot of maybes. But it doesn"t matter. Survival never matters until you have to survive."
Terrence nodded. He understood. So did the Kyben. It grinned at him and drew its blaster. It fired point-blank, crimsoning the hull of the Kyben ship.
He swerved to avoid running into his gun"s own backlash. The movement of the bucket seat sliding in its tracks, keeping his vision steady while maneuvering, made him dizzy. He closed his eyes for a moment.
When he opened them, the abyss was nearer, and he teetered, his lips whitening as they pressed together under his effort to steady himself. With a headlong gasp he fell sighing into the stomach. His long, silken fingers jointed steely humming clankingly toward the medicine chest ever over the plate behind the bulkhead.
The robot advanced on him grindingly. Small fine bits of metal rubbed together, ashing away into a breeze that came from nowhere as the machine raised lead boots toward his face.
Onward and onward till he had no room to move and then The light came on, bright, brighter than any star Terrence had ever seen, glowing, broiling, flickering, shining, bobbing a ball of light on the chest of the robot, who staggered, stumbled, stepped.
The robot hissed, hummed and exploded into a million flying, racing fragments, shooting beams of light all over the abyss over which Terrence again teetered, teetering. He flailed his arms wildly trying to escape but at the last moment, before the fall He awoke with a start!
He saved himself only by his unconscious. Even in the h.e.l.l of a nightmare he was aware of the situation. He had not moaned and writhed in his delirium. He had kept motionless and silent.
He knew it was true, because he was still alive.
Only his surprised jerking, as he came back to consciousness, started the monster rolling from its niche. He came fully awake and sat silent, slumped against the wall. The robot retreated.
Thin breath came through his nostrils. Another moment and he would have put an end to the past three days-three days or more now? how long had he been asleep?-days of torture.
He was hungry. Lord how hungry he was. The pain in his side was worse now, a steady throbbing that made even shallow breathing tortuous. He itched maddeningly. He was uncomfortably slouched against a cold steel bulkhead, every rivet having made a burrow for itself in his skin. He wished he was dead.
He didn"t wish he was dead. It was all too easy to get his wish.
If he could only disable that robot brain. A total impossibility. If he could only wear Phobos and Deinlos for watch fobs. If he could only shack-up with a silicon-deb from Penares. If he could only use his large colon for a la.s.so.
It would take a thorough destruction of the brain to do it enough damage to stop the appendage before it could roll over and smash Terrence again.
With a steel bulkhead between him and the brain, his chances of success totaled minus zero every time.
He considered which part of his body the robot would smash first. One blow of that tool-hand would kill him if it was used a second time. With the state of his present wounds, even a strong breath might finish him.
Perhaps he could make a break and get through the lock into the decompression chamber...
Worthless. (A) The robot would catch him before he had gotten to his feet, in his present condition. (B) Even allowing a miracle, even if he did get through the lock, the robot would smash the lock port, letting in air, ruining the mechanism. (C) Even allowing a double miracle and it didn"t, what the h.e.l.l good would it do him? His helmet and gloves were in the hutch itself, and there was no place to go on the planetoid. The ship was ruined, so no signal could be sent from there.
Doom suddenly compounded itself.
The more he thought about it, the more certain he was that soon the light would flicker out for him.
The light would flicker out.
The light would flicker...
The light...
...light...? Oh G.o.d, is it possible? Can it be? Have I found an answer? He marveled at the simplicity of it. It had been there for more than three days waiting for him to use it. It was so simple it was magnificent. He could hardly restrain himself from moving, just out of sheer joy.
I"m not brilliant, I"m not a genius, why did this occur to me? For a few minutes the brilliance of the solution staggered him. Would a less intelligent man have solved the problem this easily? Would a more intelligent man have done it? Then he remembered the dream. The light in the dream. He hadn"t solved the problem, his unconscious had. The answer had been there all the time, but he was too close to see it. His mind had been forced to devise a way to tell him. Luckily, it had.
And finally, he didn"t care how he had uncovered it. His G.o.d, if he had had anything to do with it, had heard him. Terrence was by no means a religious man, but this was miracle enough to make him a believer. It wasn"t over yet, but the answer was there-and it was an answer.
He began to save himself.
Slowly, achingly slowly, he moved his right hand, the hand away from the robot"s sight, to his belt. On the belt hung the a.s.sorted implements a s.p.a.ceman needs at any moment in his ship. A wrench. A packet of sleep-stavers. A compa.s.s. A geiger counter. A flashlight.
The last was the miracle. Miracle in a tube.
He fingered it almost reverently, then unclipped it in a moment"s frenzy, still immobile to the robot"s "eyes."
He held it at his side, away from his body by a fraction of an inch, pointing up over the bulge of his s.p.a.cesuited leg.
If the robot looked at him, all it would see would be the motionless bulk of his leg, blocking off any movement on his part. To the machine, he was inert. Motionless.
Now he thought wildly, where is the brain?
If it is behind the relay machines, I"m still dead. If it is near the refrigerator, I"m saved. He could afford to take no chances. He would have to move.
He lifted one leg.
The robot moved toward him. The humming and sparking were more distinct this time. He dropped the leg.
Behind the plates above the refrigerator!
The robot stopped, nearly at his side. Seconds had decided. The robot hummed, sparked, and returned to its niche.
Now he knew!
He pressed the b.u.t.ton. The invisible beam of the flashlight leaped out, speared the bulkhead above the refrigerator. He pressed the b.u.t.ton again and again, the flat circle of light appearing, disappearing, appearing, disappearing on the faceless metal of the life hutch"s wall.
The robot sparked and rolled from its niche. It looked once at Terrence. Its rollers changed direction in an instant and the machine ground toward the refrigerator.
The steeled fist swung in a vicious arc, smashing with a deafening clang! at the spot where the light bubble flickered on and off.
It swung again and again. Again and again till the bulkhead had been gouged and crushed and opened, and the delicate coils and plates and circuits and memorex modules behind it were refuse and rubble. Until the robot froze, with arm half-ready to strike again. Dead. Immobile. Brain and appendage.
Even then Terrence did not stop pressing the flashlight b.u.t.ton. Wildly he thumbed it again and again and again.
Then he realized it was allover.
The robot was dead. He was alive. He would be saved. He had no doubts about that. Now he could cry.
The medicine chest grew large through the shimmering in his eyes. The relay machines smiled at him.
G.o.d bless you, little life hutch, he thought, before he fainted.
The Very Last Day of a Good Woman
FINALLY, HE KNEW the world was going to end. It had grown in certainty with terrible slowness. His was not a perfect talent, but rather, a gem with many small flaws in it. Had he been able to see the future clearly, had he not been a partial clairvoyant, his life might not have come to what it had. His hunger would not have been what it was. Yet the brief, fogged glimpses were molded together, and he knew the Earth was about to end. By the same rude certainty that told him it was going to end, he knew it was not self- deception-it was not merely his death. It was the final irrevocable finish of his world, with every life upon it. This he saw in a shattered fragment of clarity, and he knew it would come in two weeks, on a Thursday night.
His name was Arthur Fulbright, and he wanted a woman.
How strange or odd. To know the future. To know it in that most peculiar of fashions: not as a unified whole, as a superimposed something on the image of now, but in bits and s.n.a.t.c.hes, in fits and starts.
In humming, deliberate quickness -a truck will come around the corner in a moment-that made him-Native Dancer will win-almost a denizen of two worlds-the train will leave ten minutes early-he saw the future through a gla.s.s darkly-you will find your other cuff link in the medicine cabinet-and was hardly aware of what this power promised.
For years, a soft, brown shambling man all hummed words and gentle glances, living with his widowed mother in an eight-room house set about with honeysuckle and sweet pea. For years, working in a job of unidentifiable type and station; for years returning to the house and the comforting pastel of Mother.
Years that held little change, little activity, little of note or importance. Yet good years, and silent.
Then Mother had died. Sighing in the night, she had slowed down like a phonograph, like the old crank phonograph covered under a white sheet in the attic, and had died. Life had played its melody for her, and just as naturally had trembled to an unsatisfactory end.
For Arthur it had meant changes.
Now, no more the nights of sound sleep, the evenings of quiet discussion and backgammon or whist, the afternoons of lunch prepared in time for a return to the office, the mornings with cinnamon toast and orange juice ready. Now it was a single-lane highway that he would travel alone.
Learning to eat in restaurants, learning where the fresh linens were kept, sending his clothes out to be mended and cleaned.
And most of all, coming to realize in the six years since Mother"s death, that he could see the future once in a while. It was in no way alarming, nor even-after living with it so long-surprising. The word terrifying, in connection with his sight of the future, would never have occurred to him; and had he not seen that night of flame and death, the end of the world, the power would never have troubled him.
But he did see it, and it made a difference.
Because now that he was about to die, now that he had two weeks and no more, he had to find a purpose. There had to be a reason to die without regret. Yet here he sat, in the high-backed wing chair in the darkened living room, with the empty eight-room house around him, and there was no purpose. He had not considered his own demise; Mother"s going had been hard enough to reconcile, but he had known it would come some day (though the ramifications of her death had never dawned on him).His own death was something else.
"How can a man come to thirty-nine years, and have nothing?" he asked himself. "How can it be?"
It was true, of course. He had nothing. No talent, no mark to leave on affairs, no wake, no purpose.
And with the tallying of his lacks, he came to the most important one of all. The one marking him as not yet a man, no matter what he thought. The lack of a woman. He was a virgin; he had never had a woman.
With two weeks left on Earth, Arthur Fulbright knew what he wanted, more than anything, more than fame or wealth or position. His desire for his last days on Earth was a simple one, an uncluttered one.
Arthur Fulbright wanted a woman.
There had been a little money. Mother had left over two thousand dollars in cash and savings bonds. He had been able to put away two thousand in his own account. That made four thousand dollars, and it became very important, but not till later. The idea of buying a woman came to him after many other considerations. The first attempt was with a young woman of his acquaintance, who worked as a steno-typist in the office, in the billing section.
"Jackie," he asked her, having pa.s.sed time with her on occasion, "would you-uh-how would you like to go to a-uh-show with me tonight...or something?"
She stared at him curiously, seeing a cipher; but having mentally relegated the evening to smoking a little gra.s.s and washing her hair with a girl friend, accepted.