If Mark had noticed, would it have made any difference? Not in the long run, I try to believe. But however I rationalise, I know that some of the blame was mine.
We were to meet Lorna and Carol on our side of the park in order to take them to the Carlton cinema, nearby. We arrived late, having taken our time over sprucing ourselves; we didn"t want to seem too eager to meet them. Beside the police station, at the entrance to the park, a triangular island of pavement, large enough to contain a spinney of trees, divided the road. The girls were meant to be waiting at the nearest point of the triangle. But the island was deserted except for the caged darkness beneath the trees.
We waited. Shop windows on West Derby Road glared fluorescent green. Behind us trees whispered, creaking. We kept glancing into the park, but the ------------------------------------247 only figure we could see on the dark paths was alone. Eventually, for something to do, we strolled desultorily around the island.
It was I who saw the message first, large letters scrawled on the corner nearest the park. Was it Lorna"s or Carol"s handwriting? It rather shocked me, for it looked semiliterate. But she must have had to use a stone as a pencil, which couldn"t have helped; indeed, some letters had had to be dug out of the moss which coated stretches of the pavement, mark see you at the shelter, the message said.
I felt him withdraw a little. "Which shelter?" he muttered.
"I expect they mean the one near the kiosk," I said, to rea.s.sure him.
We hurried along Orphan Drive. Above the lamps, patches of foliage shone harshly. Before we reached the pool we crossed the bridge, from which in daylight manna rained down to the ducks, and entered the park. The fair had gone into hibernation; the paths, and the mazes of tree trunks, were silent and very dark. Occasional dim movements made me think that we were pa.s.sing the girls, but the figure that was wandering a nearby path looked far too bulky.
The shelter was at the edge of the main green, near the football pitch. Beyond the green, tower blocks loomed in glaring auras. Each of the four sides of the shelter was an alcove housing a bench. As we peered into each, jeers or curses challenged us.
"I know where they"ll be," Mark said. "In the one by the bowling green. That"s near where they live."
But we were closer to the shelter by the pool. Nevertheless I followed him onto the park road. As we turned towards the bowling green I glanced towards the pool, but the streetlamps dazzled me. I followed him along a narrow path between hedges to the green, and almost tripped over his ankles as he stopped short. The shelter was empty, alone with its view of the decaying Georgian houses on the far side of the bowling green.
To my surprise and annoyance, he still didn"t head for the pool. Instead, we made for the disused bandstand hidden in a ring of bushes. Its only tune now was the clink of broken bricks. I was sure the girls wouldn"t have called it a shelter, and of course it was deserted. Obese dim bushes hemmed us in. "Come on," I said, "or we"ll miss them. They must be by the pool."
"They won"t be there," he said--stupidly, I thought.
Did I realise how nervous he suddenly was? Perhaps, but it only annoyed me. After all, how else could I meet Carol again? I didn"t know her address. "Oh, all right," I scoffed, "if you want us to miss them."
I saw him stiffen. Perhaps my contempt hurt him more than Ben"s had; ------------------------------------248 for one thing, he was older. Before I knew what he intended he was striding towards the pool, so rapidly that I would have had to run to keep up with him--which, given the hostility that had flared between us, I refused to do. I strolled after him rather disdainfully. That was how I came to glimpse movement in one of the islands of dimness between the lamps of the park road. I glanced towards it and saw, several hundred yards away, the girls.
After a pause they responded to my waving--somewhat timidly, I thought. "There they are," I called to Mark. He must have been at the pool by now, but I had difficulty in glimpsing him beyond the glare of the lamps. I was beckoning the girls to hurry when I heard his radio blur into speech.
At first I was reminded of a sailor"s parrot. "Aye aye," it was croaking. The distorted voice sounded cracked, uneven, almost too old to speak. "You know what I mean, son?" it grated triumphantly. "Aye aye." I was growing uneasy, for my mind had begun to interpret the words as "Eye eye" --when suddenly, dreadfully, I realised Mark hadn"t brought his radio.
There might be someone in the shelter with a radio. But I was terrified, I wasn"t sure why. I ran towards the pool calling "Come on, Mark, they"re here!" The lamps dazzled me; everything swayed with my running--which was why I couldn"t be sure what I saw.
I know I saw Mark at the shelter. He stood just within, confronting darkness. Before I could discern whether anyone else was there, Mark staggered out blindly, hands covering his face, and collapsed into the pool.
Did he drag something with him? Certainly by the time I reached the margin of the light he appeared to be tangled in something, and to be struggling feebly. He was drifting, or being dragged, towards the centre of the pool by a half-submerged heap of litter. At the end of the heap nearest Mark"s face was a pale ragged patch in which gleamed two round objects-- bottle caps? I could see all this because I was standing helpless, screaming at the girls "Quick, for Christ"s sake! He"s drowning!" He was drowning, and I couldn"t swim.
"Don"t be stupid," I heard Lorna say. That enraged me so much that I turned from the pool. "What do you mean?" I cried. "What do you mean, you stupid b.i.t.c.h?"
"Oh, be like that," she said haughtily, and refused to say more. But Carol took pity on my hysteria, and explained "It"s only three feet deep. He"ll never drown in there."
I wasn"t sure that she knew what she was talking about, but that was no excuse for me not to try to rescue him. When I turned to the pool I gasped miserably, for he had vanished--sunk. I could only wade into the muddy ------------------------------------249 water, which engulfed my legs and closed around my waist like ice, ponderously hindering me.
The floor of the pool was fattened with slimy litter. I slithered, terrified of losing my balance. Intuition urged me to head for the centre of the pool. And it was there I found him, as my sluggish kick collided with his ribs.
When I tried to raise him, I discovered that he was pinned down. I had to grope blindly over him in the chill water, feeling how still he was. Something like a swollen cloth bag, very large, lay over his face. I couldn"t bear to touch it again, for its contents felt soft and fat. Instead I seized Mark"s ankles and managed at last to drag him free. Then I struggled towards the edge of the pool, heaving him by his shoulders, lifting his head above water. His weight was dismaying. Eventually the girls waded out to help me.
But we were too late. When we dumped him on the concrete, his face stayed agape with horror; water lay stagnant in his mouth. I could see nothing wrong with his eyes. Carol grew hysterical, and it was Lorna who ran to the hospital, perhaps in order to get away from the sight of him. I only made Carol worse by demanding why they hadn"t waited for us at the shelter; I wanted to feel they were to blame. But she denied they had written the message, and grew more hysterical when I asked why they hadn"t waited at the island. The question, or the memory, seemed to frighten her.
I never saw her again. The few newspapers that bothered to report Mark"s death gave the verdict "by misadventure." The police took a dislike to me after I insisted that there might be somebody else in the pool, for the draining revealed n.o.body. At least, I thought, whatever was there had gone away. Perhaps I could take some credit for that at least.
But perhaps I was too eager for rea.s.surance. The last time I ventured near the shelter was years ago, one winter night on the way home from school. I had caught sight of a gleam in the depths of the shelter. As I went close, nervously watching both the shelter and the pool, I saw two discs glaring at me from the darkness beside the bench. They were Coca-Cola caps, not eyes at all, and it must have been the wind that set the pool slopping and sent the caps scuttling towards me. What frightened me most as I fled through the dark was that I wouldn"t be able to see where I was running if, as I desperately wanted to, I put up my hands to protect my eyes. ------------------------------------250 ------------------------------------251
The Show Goes On
The nails were worse than rusty; they had snapped. Under cover of several coats of paint, both the door and its frame had rotted. As Lee tugged at the door it collapsed towards him with a sound like that of an old cork leaving a bottle. coats of paint, both the door and its frame had rotted. As Lee tugged at the door it collapsed towards him with a sound like that of an old cork leaving a bottle.
He hadn"t used the storeroom since his father had nailed the door shut to keep the rats out of the shop. Both the shelves and the few items which had been left in the room--an open tin of paint, a broken-necked brush-- looked merged into a single ma.s.s composed of grime and dust.
He was turning away, having vaguely noticed a dark patch that covered much of the dim wall at the back of the room, when he saw that it wasn"t dampness. Beyond it he could just make out rows of regular outlines like teeth in a gaping mouth: seats in the old cinema.
He hadn"t thought of the cinema for years. Old resurrected films on television, shrunken and packaged and robbed of flavour, never reminded him. It wasn"t only that Cagney and Bogart and the rest had been larger than life, huge hovering faces like ancient idols; the cinema itself had had a personality--the screen framed by twin theatre boxes from the days of the music-hall, the faint smell and muttering of gaslights on the walls, the manager"s wife and daughter serving in the auditorium and singing along with the musicals. In the years after the war you could get in for an armful of lemonade bottles, or a bag of vegetables if you owned one of the nearby allotments; there had been a greengrocer"s old weighing machine inside the paybox. These days you had to watch films in concrete warrens, if you could afford to go at all.
Still, there was no point in reminiscing, for the old cinema was now a back entry for thieves. He was sure that was how they had robbed other shops on the block. At times he"d thought he heard them in the cinema; they sounded too large for rats. And now, by the look of the wall, they"d made themselves a secret entrance to his shop.
Mrs Entwistle was waiting at the counter. These days she shopped here ------------------------------------252 less from need than from loyalty, remembering when his mother had used to bake bread at home to sell in the shop. "Just a sliced loaf," she said apologetically.
"Will you be going past Frank"s yard?" Within its slippery wrapping the loaf felt ready to deflate, not like his mother"s bread at all. "Could you tell him that my wall needs repairing urgently? I can"t leave the shop."
Buses were carrying stragglers to work or to school. Ninety minutes later--he could tell the time by the pa.s.sengers, which meant he needn"t have his watch repaired--the buses were ferrying shoppers down to Liverpool city centre, and Frank still hadn"t come. Grumbling to himself, Lee closed the shop for ten minutes.
The February wind came slashing up the hill from the Mersey, trailing smoke like ghosts of the factory chimneys. Down the slope a yellow machine clawed at the remains of houses. The Liver Buildings looked like a monument in a graveyard of concrete and stone.
Beyond Kiddiegear and The Wholefood Shop, Frank"s yard was a maze of new timber. Frank was feeding the edge of a door to a shrieking circular blade. He gazed at Lee as though n.o.body had told him anything. When Lee kept his temper and explained, Frank said "No problem. Just give a moan when you"re ready."
"I"m ready now."
"Ah, well. As soon as I"ve finished this job I"ll whiz round." Lee had reached the exit when Frank said "I"ll tell you something that"ll amuse you. ...8 Fifteen minutes later Lee arrived back, panting, at his shop. It was intact. He hurried around the outside of the cinema, but all the doors seemed immovable, and he couldn"t find a secret entrance. Nevertheless he was sure that the thieves--children, probably--were sneaking in somehow.
The buses were full of old people now, sitting stiffly as china. The lunchtime trade trickled into the shop: men who couldn"t buy their brand of cigarettes in the pub across the road, children sent on errands while their lunches went cold on tables or dried in ovens. An empty bus raced along the deserted street, and a scrawny youth in a leather jacket came into the shop, while his companion loitered in the doorway. Would Lee have a chance to defend himself, or at least to shout for help? But they weren"t planning theft, only making sure they didn"t miss a bus. Lee"s heart felt both violent and fragile. Since the robberies had begun he"d felt that way too often.
The shop was still worth it. "Don"t keep it up if you don"t want to," his ------------------------------------253 father had said, but it would have been admitting defeat to do anything else. Besides, he and his parents had been even closer here than at home. Since their death, he"d had to base his stock on items people wanted in a hurry or after the other shops had closed: flashlights, canned food, light-bulbs, cigarettes. Lee"s Home-Baked Bread was a thing of the past, but it was still Lee"s shop.
Packs of buses climbed the hill, carrying home the rush-hour crowds. When the newspaper van dumped a stack of the evening"s Liverpool Liverpool Echo Echo on the doorstep, he knew Frank wasn"t coming. He stormed round to the yard, but it was locked and deserted. on the doorstep, he knew Frank wasn"t coming. He stormed round to the yard, but it was locked and deserted.
Well then, he would stay in the shop overnight; he"d n.o.body to go home for. Why, he had even made the thieves" job easier by helping the door to collapse. The sight of him in the lighted shop ought to deter thieves--it better had, for their sakes.
He bought two pork pies and some bottles of beer from the pub. Empty buses moved off from the stop like a series of cars on a fairground ride. He drank from his mother"s Coronation mug, which always stood by the electric kettle.
He might as well have closed the shop at eight o"clock; apart from an old lady who didn"t like his stock of cat food, n.o.body came. Eventually he locked the door and sat reading the paper, which seemed almost to be written in a new language: head raps shock axe, said a headline about the sudden closing of a school.
Should he prop the storeroom door in place, lest he fall asleep? No, he ought to stay visible from the cinema, in the hope of scaring off the thieves. In his childhood they would hardly have dared sneak into the cinema, let alone steal--not in the last days of the cinema, when the old man had been roaming the aisles.
Everyone, perhaps even the manager, had been scared of him. n.o.body Lee knew had ever seen his face. You would see him fumbling at the dim gaslights to turn them lower, then he"d begin to make sounds in the dark as though he was both muttering to himself and chewing something soft. He would creep up on talkative children and shine his flashlight into their eyes. As he hissed at them, a pale substance would spill from his mouth.
But they were scared of nothing these days, short of Lee"s sitting in the shop all night, like a dummy. Already he felt irritable, frustrated. How much worse would he feel after a night of doing nothing except waste electricity on the lights and the fire?
He wasn"t thinking straight. He might be able to do a great deal. He ------------------------------------254 emptied the mug of beer, then he switched off the light and arranged himself on the chair as comfortably as possible. He might have to sit still for hours.
He only hoped they would venture close enough for him to see their faces. A flashlight lay ready beside him. Surely they were cowards who would run when they saw he wasn"t scared of them. Perhaps he could chase them and find their secret entrance.
For a long time he heard nothing. Buses pa.s.sed downhill, growing emptier and fewer. Through their growling he heard faint voices, but they were fading away from the pub, which was closing. Now the streets were deserted, except for the run-down grumble of the city. Wind shivered the window. The edge of the glow of the last few buses trailed vaguely over the storeroom entrance, making the outlines of cinema seats appear to stir. Between their sounds he strained his ears. Soon the last bus had gone.
He could just make out the outlines of the seats. If he gazed at them for long they seemed to waver, as did the storeroom doorway. Whenever he closed his eyes to rest them he heard faint tentative sounds: creaking, rattling. Perhaps the shop always sounded like that when there was nothing else to hear.
His head jerked up. No, he was sure he hadn"t dozed: there had been a sound like a whisper, quickly suppressed. He hunched himself forward, ears ringing with strain. The backs of the cinema seats, vague forms like charcoal sketches on a charcoal background, appeared to nod towards him.
Was he visible by the glow of the electric fire? He switched it off stealthily, and sat listening, eyes squeezed shut. The sudden chill held him back from dozing.
Yes, there were stealthy movements in a large enclosed place. Were they creeping closer? His eyes sprang open to take them unawares, and he thought he glimpsed movement, dodging out of sight beyond the gap in the wall.
He sat absolutely still, though the cold was beginning to insinuate cramp into his right leg. He had no way of measuring the time that pa.s.sed before he glimpsed movement again. Though it was so vague that he couldn"t judge its speed, he had a nagging impression that someone had peered at him from the dark auditorium. He thought he heard floorboards creaking.
Were the thieves mocking him? They must think it was fun to play games with him, to watch him gazing stupidly through the wall they"d wrecked. Rage sprang him to his feet. Grabbing the flashlight, he strode through the doorway. He had to slow down in the storeroom, for he didn"t want to touch the shelves fattened by grime. As soon as he reached the wall he flashed the light into the cinema. ------------------------------------255 The light just managed to reach the walls, however dimly. There was n.o.body in sight. On either side of the screen, which looked like a rectangle of fog, the theatre boxes were cups of darkness. It was hard to distinguish shadows from dim objects, which perhaps was why the rows of seats looked swollen.
The thieves must have retreated into one of the corridors, towards their secret entrance; he could hear distant m.u.f.fled sounds. No doubt they were waiting for him to give up--but he would surprise them.
He stepped over a pile of rubble just beyond the wall. They mustn"t have had time to clear it away when they had made the gap. The flashlight was heavy, rea.s.suring; they"d better not come too near. As soon as he reached the near end of a row of seats and saw that they were folded back out of his way, he switched off the light.
Halfway down the row he touched a folding seat, which felt moist and puffy--fatter than it had looked. He didn"t switch on the light, for he oughtn"t to betray his presence more than was absolutely necessary. Besides, there was a faint sketchy glow from the road, through the shop. At least he would be able to find his way back easily--and he"d be d.a.m.ned if anyone else got there first.
When he reached the central aisle he risked another blink of light, to make sure the way was clear. Shadows sat up in all the nearest seats. A few springs had broken; seats lolled, spilling their innards. Underfoot the carpet felt like perished rubber; occasionally it squelched.
At the end of the aisle he halted, breathing inaudibly. After a while he heard movement resounding down a corridor to his left. All at once--good Lord, he"d forgotten that--he was glad the sounds weren"t coming from his right, where the Gents" had been and still was, presumably. Surely even thieves would prefer to avoid the yard beyond that window, especially at night.
Blinking the light at the floor, he moved to his left. The darkness hovering overhead seemed enormous, dwarfing his furtive sounds. He had an odd impression that the screen was almost visible, as an imperceptible lightening of the dark above him. He was reminded of the last days of the cinema, in particular one night when the projectionist must have been drunk or asleep: the film had slowed and dimmed very gradually, flickering; the huge almost invisible figures had twitched and mouthed silently, unable to stop--it had seemed that the cinema was senile but refusing to die, or incapable of dying.
Another blink of light showed him the exit, a dark arch a head taller than he. A few sc.r.a.ps of linoleum clung to the stone floor of a low corridor. He ------------------------------------256 remembered the way: a few yards ahead the corridor branched; one short branch led to a pair of exit doors, while the other turned behind the screen, towards a warren of old dressing-rooms.
When he reached the pair of doors he tested them, this time from within the building. Dim light drew a blurred sketch of their edges. The bars which ought to snap apart and release the doors felt like a single pole encrusted with harsh flakes. His rusty fingers sc.r.a.ped as he rubbed them together. Wind flung itself at the doors, as unable to move them as he was.
He paced back to the junction of the corridors, feeling his way with the toes of his shoes. There was a faint sound far down the other branch. Perhaps the thieves were skulking near their secret entrance, ready to flee. One blink of the light showed him that the floor was clear.
The corridor smelt dank and musty. He could tell when he strayed near the walls, for the chill intensified. The dark seemed to soak up those of his sounds that couldn"t help being audible--the sc.r.a.pe of fallen plaster underfoot, the flap of a loose patch of linoleum which almost tripped him and which set his heart palpitating. It seemed a very long time before he reached the bend, which he coped with by feeling his way along the damp crumbling plaster of the wall. Then there was nothing but musty darkness for an even longer stretch, until something taller than he was loomed up in front of him.
It was another pair of double doors. Though they were ajar, and their bars looked rusted in the open position, he was reluctant to step through. The nervous flare of his light had shown him a shovel leaning against the wall; perhaps it had once been used to clear away fallen plaster. Thrusting the shovel between the doors, he squeezed through the gap, trying to make no noise.
He couldn"t quite make himself switch off the flashlight. There seemed to be no need. In the right-hand wall were several doorways; he was sure one led to the secret entrance. If the thieves fled, he"d be able to hear which doorway they were using.
He crept along the pa.s.sage. Shadows of dangling plaster moved with him. The first room was bare, and the colour of dust. It would have been built as a dressing-room, and perhaps the shapeless object, further blurred by wads of dust, which huddled in a corner had once been a costume. In the second deserted room another slumped, arms folded bonelessly. He had a hallucinatory impression that they were sleeping vagrants, stirring wakefully as his light touched them.
There was only one movement worth his attention: the stealthy restless movement he could hear somewhere ahead. Yes, it was beyond the last of the ------------------------------------257 doorways, from which--he switched off the flashlight to be sure--a faint glow was emerging. That must come from the secret entrance.
He paused just ahead of the doorway. Might they be lying in wait for him? When the sound came again--a leathery sound, like the shifting of nervous feet in shoes--he could tell that it was at least as distant as the far side of the room. Creeping forward, he risked a glance within.
Though the room was dimmer than fog, he could see that it was empty: not even a dusty remnant of clothing or anything else on the floor. The meagre glow came from a window barred by a grille, beyond which he heard movement, fainter now. Were they waiting outside to open the grille as soon as he went away? Flashlight at the ready, he approached.
When he peered through the window, he thought at first there was nothing to see except a cramped empty yard: grey walls which looked furred by the dimness, grey flagstones, and--a little less dim--the sky. Another grille covered a window in an adjoining wall.
Then a memory clenched on his guts. He had recognised the yard.
Once, as a child, he had been meant to sneak into the Gents" and open the window so that his friends could get in without paying. He"d had to stand on the toilet seat in order to reach the window. Beyond a grille whose gaps were thin as matchsticks, he had just been able to make out a small dismal s.p.a.ce enclosed by walls which looked coated with darkness or dirt. Even if he had been able to shift the grille he wouldn"t have dared to do so, for something had been staring at him from a corner of the yard.
Of course it couldn"t really have been staring. Perhaps it had been a halfdeflated football; it looked leathery. It must have been there for a long time, for the two socketlike dents near its top were full of cobwebs. He"d fled, not caring what his friends might do to him--but in fact they hadn"t been able to find their way to the yard. For years he hadn"t wanted to look out of that window, especially when he"d dreamed--or had seemed to remember--that something had moved, gleaming, behind the cobwebs. When he"d been old enough to look out of the window without climbing up, the object was still there, growing dustier. Now there had been a gap low down in it, widening as years pa.s.sed. It had resembled a grin stuffed with dirt.
Again he heard movement beyond the grille. He couldn"t quite make out that corner of the yard, and retreated, trying to make no noise, before he could. Nearly at the corridor, he saw that a door lay open against the wall. He dragged the door shut as he emerged--to trap the thieves, that was all; if they were in the yard that might teach them a lesson. He would certainly have been uneasy if he had still been a child. ------------------------------------258 Then he halted, wondering what else he"d heard.
The sc.r.a.pe of the door on bare stone had almost covered up another sound from the direction of the cinema. Had the thieves outwitted him? Had they closed the double doors? When he switched on the flashlight, having fumbled and almost dropped it lens-first, he couldn"t tell: perhaps the doors were ajar, but perhaps his nervousness was making the shadow between them appear wider than it was.
As he ran, careless now of whether he was heard, shadows of dead gaslights splashed along the walls, swelling. Their pipes reminded him obscurely of breathing-tubes, clogged with dust. In the bare rooms, slumped dusty forms shifted with his pa.s.sing.
The doors were still ajar, and looked untouched. When he stepped between them, the ceiling rocked with shadows; until he glanced up he felt that it was closing down. He"d done what he could in here, he ought to get back to the shop--but if he went forward, he would have to think. If the doors hadn"t moved, then the sound he had almost heard must have come from somewhere else: perhaps the unlit cinema.
Before he could help it, he was remembering. The last weeks of the cinema had been best forgotten: half the audience had seemed to be there because there was nowhere else to go, old men trying to warm themselves against the grudging radiators; sometimes there would be the thud of an empty bottle or a fallen walking-stick. The tattered films had jerked from scene to scene like dreams. On the last night Lee had been there, the gaslights had gone out halfway through the film, and hadn"t been lit at the end. He"d heard an old man falling and crying out as though he thought the darkness had come for him, a little girl screaming as if unable to wake from a nightmare, convinced perhaps that only the light had held the cinema in shape, prevented it from growing deformed. Then Lee had heard something else: a muttering mixed with soft chewing. It had sounded entirely at home in the dark.
But if someone was in the cinema now, it must be the thieves. He ought to hurry, before they reached his shop. He was hurrying, towards the other branch of the corridor, which led to the exit doors. Might he head off the thieves that way? He would be out of the building more quickly, that was the main thing--it didn"t matter why.
The doors wouldn"t budge. Though he wrenched at them until his palms smarted with rust, the bars didn"t even quiver. Wind whined outside like a dog, and emphasised the stuffy mustiness of the corridor. ------------------------------------259 Suddenly he realised how much noise he was making. He desisted at once, for it would only make it more difficult for him to venture back into the cinema. Nor could he any longer avoid realising why.
Once before he"d sneaked out to this exit, to let in his friends who hadn"t been able to find their way into the yard. Someone had told the usherette, who had come prowling down the central aisle, poking at people with her flashlight beam. As the light crept closer, he had been unable to move; the seat had seemed to box him in, his mouth and throat had felt choked with dust. Yet the panic he"d experienced then had been feeble compared to what he felt now--for if the cinema was still guarded against intruders, it was not by the manager"s daughter.
He found he was trembling, and clawed at the wall. A large piece of plaster came away, crunching in his hand. The act of violence, mild though it was, went some way towards calming him. He wasn"t a child, he was a shopkeeper who had managed to survive against the odds; he had no right to panic as the little girl had, in the dark. Was the knot that was twisting harder, harder, in his guts renewed panic, or disgust with himself? Hoping that it was the latter, he made himself hurry towards the auditorium.
When he saw what he had already noticed but managed to ignore, he faltered. A faint glow had crept into the corridor from the auditorium. Couldn"t that mean that his eyes were adjusting? No, the glow was more than that. Gripping the edge of the archway so hard that his fingers twitched painfully, he peered into the cinema.
The gaslights were burning.
At least, blurred ovals hovered on the walls above their jets. Their light had always fallen short of the central aisle; now the glow left a swathe of dimness, half as wide as the auditorium which it divided. If the screen was faintly lit--if huge vague flattened forms were jerking there, rather than merely stains on the canvas--it failed to illuminate the cinema. He had no time to glance at the screen, for he could see that not all the seats were empty.
Perhaps they were only a few heaps of rubbish which were propped there--heaps which he hadn"t been able to distinguish on first entering. He had begun to convince himself that this was true, and that in any case it didn"t matter, when he noticed that the dimness was not altogether still. Part of it was moving.
No, it was not dimness. It was a glow, which was crawling jerkily over the rows of seats, towards the first of the objects propped up in them. Was the glow being carried along the central aisle? Thank G.o.d, he couldn"t quite ------------------------------------260 distinguish its source. Perhaps that source was making a faint sound, a moist somewhat rhythmic muttering that sounded worse than senile, or perhaps that was only the wind.
Lee began to creep along the front of the cinema, just beneath the screen. Surely his legs wouldn"t let him down, though they felt flimsy, almost boneless. Once he reached the side aisle he would be safe and able to hurry, the gaslights would show him the way to the gap in his wall. Wouldn"t they also make him more visible? That ought not to matter, for--his mind tried to flinch away from thinking--if anything was prowling in the central aisle, surely it couldn"t outrun him.
He had just reached the wall when he thought he heard movement in the theatre box above him. It sounded dry as an insect, but much larger. Was it peering over the edge at him? He couldn"t look up, only clatter along the bare floorboards beneath the gaslights, on which he could see no flames at all.
He still had yards to go before he reached the gap when the roving glow touched one of the heaps in the seats.
If he could have turned and run blindly, nothing would have stopped him; but a sickness that was panic weighed down his guts, and he couldn"t move until he saw. Perhaps there wasn"t much to see except an old coat full of lumps of dust or rubble, which was lolling in the seat; nothing to make the flashlight shudder in his hand and rap against the wall. But sunken in the gap between the lapels of the coat was what might have been an old Halloween mask overgrown with dust. Surely it was dust that moved in the empty eyes--yet as the flashlight rapped more loudly against the wall, the mask turned slowly and unsteadily towards him.
Panic blinded him. He didn"t know who he was nor where he was going. He knew only that he was very small and at bay in the vast dimness, through which a shape was directing a glow towards him. Behind the glow he could almost see a face from which something pale dangled. It wasn"t a beard, for it was rooted in the gaping mouth.