"The fact it"s even a remote possibility is unacceptable."
"Seth had no problem with it."
"That"s because he doesn"t have the same-" Jonas broke off abruptly, knowing he was about to make a complete idiot of himself by claiming Seth didn"t have the same vested interest in her well-being that he did. Which was unfair to Seth; the other man was a professional through and through, and he wouldn"t have allowed Lily to appear in this evening"s performance if he didn"t think he could protect her. It was ridiculous of Jonas to think that his own feelings for her made him a better protector.
Whatever those feelings might be.
Emotions had never been Jonas"s forte. He worked, he ate, he slept, he f.u.c.ked. Only when he was painting did he allow his emotions to come to the surface.
Until now.
Until Lily.
The thought of anyone harming so much as a hair on her head caused his fists to clench and his gut to churn. He just had no idea what those things meant.
Any more than he understood his frustration with the distance he now felt between the two of them. Not physically, obviously, because they were in the same room, but in every other way that mattered. They were talking like acquaintances rather than two people who had been lovers only days ago.
All Jonas wanted was to pull Lily into his arms and take them both back to that previous intimacy.
The coolness in Lily"s demeanor and voice told him that wasn"t going to happen.
"I want back on your security detail," he said instead.
Her eyes widened. "Why?"
Jonas recalled Gabriel"s earlier warning concerning Lily"s belief she was only a job to him, an obligation he hadn"t completed. But how the h.e.l.l else was he supposed to explain the burning need he felt to protect her, when he didn"t completely understand it himself?
"Never mind." Lily"s voice was brittle as she saw the answer to that question in Jonas"s frustrated expression. She really was only an unfinished job to him, and she had better not forget it. "If you feel that strongly about it, then I suggest you talk to Seth."
His eyes glittered coldly. "Seth is being a pain in my a.s.s."
Grateful as she was to Seth, he was being a pain in her a.s.s too. If anything, he was even more protective than Jonas, to the degree he had taken her back to his own home six days ago, once she told him she had no idea where to go to feel safe.
Lily had protested the suggestion, of course, aware that after only a few weeks of marriage, Seth and his wife were still on their honeymoon and would want to be alone together. The last thing they wanted was a third person sharing their home.
Seth"s answer to that protest? Diana would never forgive him if he didn"t take her home with him. And he obviously had no intention of upsetting his wife.
Lily had reluctantly agreed to the idea, while inwardly deciding that if Diana showed the least resentment at her presence, then she would politely make her excuses and go to Gabriel"s after all.
Diana Armstrong proved to be a warm and capable woman, and after spending six days in her company, Lily knew she and the other woman were already close friends. They would continue to be so even after this was all over, although quite how that would work when Jonas was also a friend to both Seth and Diana, Lily had no idea. But she would make it happen, even if she had to check each time she met up with Diana as to whether or not Jonas was anywhere near. Diana was too good a friend already for Lily to ever willingly give that up.
"I"ll talk to him," Lily told Jonas dismissively. "I"m sure the two of you will be able to work something out."
"You-"
"I really need to finish getting ready, Jonas," she dismissed evenly, needing him to go before she broke down and told him how much she"d missed him.
That she loved him.
A love Jonas didn"t want or need.
Chapter 13.
Jonas"s lids were narrowed as he stood by one of the emergency exits at the front of the theater, his gaze roaming restlessly over the audience that filled it to capacity. A bejeweled and designer-label audience, all here by invitation to attend this gala performance in memory of the two men who had died at the theater the previous week.
Only two of the private boxes in the dress circle of the theater had people sitting in them, one on either side of the stage.
In one were two couples, the women red-eyed and pale-Charlie Driscoll"s two daughters?-the stoic men seated beside them no doubt their husbands.
There were four people in the box opposite, the older couple would be Evan Butler"s parents, the teenage girl his sister: their likeness to their deceased son and brother obvious. Seated beside them was Todd Shaw, Evan"s heartbroken boyfriend, his eyes red and bloodshot, expression grim.
Jonas glanced back to the stage as the director, Giles Fowler, came on to make his introductory speech to the evening. Jonas was too busy keeping a watchful eye everywhere to have any idea what the other man said, but the audience seemed to appreciate it as they clapped long and loudly.
He turned his attention to the stage as the play began. Lily seemed slightly nervous to begin with, but, like the professional she was, quickly threw herself into her role, despite the fact she had a different leading man playing opposite her.
Jonas had never admired her more, loved her- Jesus Christ!
Love? Who the f.u.c.k mentioned love?
I did, he acknowledged incredulously.
Was he in love with Lily?
Was that what these feelings of anger and frustration were all about? Was that the reason he had to come back to town? Because he simply couldn"t stay away from Lily any longer?
Wonderful.
f.u.c.king wonderful.
He was in love with a woman who would never see him as anything more than a bodyguard, or maybe a s.e.xual diversion, during a scary part of her life.
"I would have appreciated a heads-up you were coming here."
Jonas"s hands clenched into fists at his sides as he turned to confront Seth. "I"m not answerable to you for my actions."
The other man looked unperturbed by Jonas"s aggressive tone. "Let"s take this outside."
Several people in the audience closest to them had turned to look at them, their conversation obviously a distraction from what was happening on the stage.
Well, let them f.u.c.king look, because Jonas wasn"t going anywhere until Lily was safely off that stage. "Later," he told the other man grimly, narrowed gaze once again roaming over the audience for any sign one of them might want to harm Lily.
"Jonas-"
"Get the f.u.c.k out of my face, Seth," he spoke vehemently under his breath.
"You"re disturbing the audience."
"Then leave me the f.u.c.k alone," he advised harshly.
Seth gave him a searching glance for several long seconds before nodding abruptly and striding to the back of the theater.
Leaving Jonas to continue his vigil as he watched the woman he loved give the performance of her life.
Lily had no idea how she got through the first half of the play. On autopilot, probably. She couldn"t so much as glance at those two occupied boxes in the dress circle, knowing that if she did, she would probably break down at the utter despair she knew Charlie"s and Evan"s families must be feeling.
As for that encounter with Jonas in her dressing room earlier...
It had been both thrilling and heartbreaking to see him again. The former because she had hungered for just the sight of him these past six days. The latter because she knew the only reason Jonas was here now had to be so that he could complete his obligation to Gabriel.
She was an obligation to him.
And it was breaking her heart knowing that.
Lily had never been so grateful to be able to escape off the stage and go to her dressing room during the interval, breathing a sigh of relief as she shut the door behind her, eyes closed as she leaned back against it.
"h.e.l.lo, Lily."
"Why are you really here, Jonas?" Seth demanded.
The two men had met again backstage, by Seth"s design, as Jonas made his way to Lily"s dressing room.
Jonas scowled darkly at this delay in getting to Lily. "You know why."
"Do I?"
"I"m not in the mood for a third degree-"
"Then what are you in the mood for?" Seth said scornfully. "You dumped Lily on me six days ago as if she was a piece of hot coal. You did deal with the police, apparently, but after that, you disappeared. Now you turn up again-"
"I came to see you this morning, and you refused to tell me where she is."
"-six days later," Seth continued pointedly. "Expecting...what?" He raised dark eyebrows.
"Expecting not to have to explain any of my actions to you, for one thing." Jonas"s voice was a low growl.
"How about Lily?" the other man challenged. "Don"t you think you owe her an explanation?"
"None of your f.u.c.king business." Jonas continued in long strides down the hallway to Lily"s dressing room.
Seth gave a heavy sigh as he accompanied him. "We"ve been friends for a long time and-"
"I"d like it to remain that way." Jonas came to a halt in the middle of the hallway. "But if you continue to push and probe like this, I seriously doubt that"s going to happen."
"Diana really likes Lily."
"I had a feeling she might." Jonas"s expression softened slightly before hardening again. "What I don"t appreciate is the way you kept Lily"s whereabouts from me. Gabriel isn"t happy either."
"So I gathered. He"s at the front of the theater," Seth explained at Jonas"s questioning glance. "Along with all the other Knight brothers."
The other man"s expression told Jonas that meeting hadn"t been pleasant. "I called him earlier and told him about the performance this evening."
Seth grimaced. "And did it occur to either of you that Lily was free to call one or both of you at any time? If she had wanted to."
If she had wanted to.
There was no escaping the fact that Lily obviously hadn"t wanted to speak to either Gabriel or Jonas.
Because Gabriel was a controlling jerk, and Jonas- Jonas had let her down by walking away when she still needed him.
"Fine," he snapped as he continued down the hallway. "Well I"m back now so... Where the f.u.c.k is Liam?" He came to an abrupt halt as he saw there was no one standing guard outside Lily"s dressing room.
Lily"s locked dressing room, Jonas discovered as he turned the handle and the door wouldn"t open.
"Todd," Lily greeted him warmly as she saw him sitting pale-faced in the chair across the room. "It"s so good to see you. I-I"m so sorry about Evan. It"s such a terrible thing to have happened." Ready tears blurred her vision; she had done a lot of crying this past week, for both Charlie and Evan. She would have cried for herself too, for this unrequited love she felt for Jonas, but she had never been one to indulge in self-pity.
"Yes," Todd acknowledged as he rose slowly to his feet, dressed in a black evening suit, as was the rest of the male audience for this evening"s gala performance.
"I"ll be attending the funeral, of course-"
"I don"t think so."
Lily gave a pained wince. "Look, I know we argued the last time we met, but it was a tense time for both of us. I loved Evan as much as-"
"Don"t," he rasped.
Lily blinked at Todd"s vehemence, a feeling of unease stirring in the pit of her stomach. "Of course I cared for him. Evan and I were friends."
"And your friendship ruined our relationship."
She gasped. "No-"
"Yes," he hissed, blue eyes glittering, hands clenched at his sides. "I asked him not to see you again. Begged him not to. He claimed the same as you, that the two of you were friends."
"Because we were. Todd, Evan loved you." Lily"s feelings of unease were deepening by the second. Especially as she now realized-belatedly-that Liam hadn"t been standing guard outside her dressing room just now. Her thoughts had been too preoccupied at the time to notice.
"Not anymore."
"The two of you were getting married."
"Evan had second thoughts about that."
"Not because of me."