She rose and went to him and timidly clasped his arm. "Dear Augustine, I am so glad you have come back. I have missed you so."
He stood still, not responding to her touch: but, as she held him, he looked across the room at Sir Hugh. "You wrote you missed me. That"s why I came."
Sir Hugh now strolled to the fire and stood before it, turning to face Augustine"s gaze; unperturbed; quite at ease.
"How wet you are dear," said Amabel. "Take off this coat."
Augustine stripped it off and flung it on a chair. She could hear his quick breathing: he did not look at her. And still it seemed to her that it was his anger rather than his love that protected her.
"He will want to change, dearest," said Sir Hugh from before the fire.
"And,--I want to finish my talk with you."
Augustine now looked at his mother, at the blush that overwhelmed her as that possessive word was spoken. "Do you want me to go?"
"No, dear, no.--It is only the coat that is wet, isn"t it. Don"t go: I want to see you, of course, after your absence.--Hugh, you will excuse us; it seems such a long time since I saw him. You and I will finish our talk on another day.--Or I will write to you."
She knew what it must look like to her husband, this weak recourse to the protection of Augustine"s presence; it looked like bashfulness, a further feminine wile, made up of self-deception and allurement, a putting off of final surrender for the greater sweetness of delay. And as the reading of him flashed through her it brought a strange pang of shame, for him; of regret, for something spoiled.
Sir Hugh took out his watch and looked at it. "Five o"clock. I told the station fly to come back for me at five fifteen. You"ll give me some tea, dearest?"
"Of course;--it is time now.--Augustine, will you ring?"
The miserable blush covered her again.
The tea came and they were silent while the maid set it out. Augustine had thrown himself into a chair and stared before him. Sir Hugh, very much in possession, kept his place before the fire. Catching Amabel"s eye he smiled at her. He was completely a.s.sured. How should he not be?
What, for his seeing, could stand between them now?
When the maid was gone and Amabel was making tea, he came and stood over her, his hands in his pockets, his handsome head bent to her, talking lightly, slightly jesting, his voice pitched intimately for her ear, yet not so intimately that any unkindness of exclusion should appear.
Augustine could hear all he said and gauge how deep was an intimacy that could wear such lightness, such slightness, as its mask.
Augustine, meanwhile, looked at neither his mother nor Sir Hugh. Turned from them in his chair he put out his hand for his tea and stared before him, as if unseeing and unhearing, while he drank it.
It was for her sake, Amabel knew, that Sir Hugh, raising his voice presently, as though aware of the sullen presence, made a little effort to lift the gloom. "What sort of a time have you had, Augustine?" he asked. "Was the weather at Haversham as bad as everywhere else?"
Augustine did not turn his head in replying:--"Quite as bad, I fancy."
"You and young Wallace hammered at metaphysics, I suppose."
"We did."
"Nice lad."
To this Augustine said nothing.
"They"re such a solemn lot, the youths of this generation," said Sir Hugh, addressing Amabel as well as Augustine: "In my day we never bothered ourselves much about things: at least the ones I knew didn"t.
Awfully empty and frivolous. Augustine and his friends would have thought us. Where we used to talk about race horses they talk about the Absolute,--eh, Augustine? We used to go and hear comic-operas and they go and hear Brahms. I suppose you do go and hear Brahms, Augustine?"
Augustine maintained his silence as though not conceiving that the sportive question required an answer and Amabel said for him that he was very fond of Brahms.
"Well, I must be off," said Sir Hugh. "I hope your heart will ache ever so little for me, Amabel, when you think of the night you"ve turned me out into."
"Oh--but--I don"t turn, you out,"--she stammered, rising, as, in a gay farewell, he looked at her.
"No? Well, I"m only teasing. I could hardly have managed to stay this time--though,--I might have managed, Amabel--. I"ll come again soon, very soon," said Sir Hugh.
"No," her hand was in his and she knew that Augustine had turned his head and was looking at them:--"No, dear Hugh. Not soon, please. I will write." Sir Hugh looked at her smiling. He glanced at Augustine; then back at her, rallying her, affectionately, threateningly, determinedly, for her foolish feints. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.
"Write, if you want to; but I"m coming," he said. He nodded to Augustine and left the room.
IX
It was, curiously enough, a crippling awkwardness and embarra.s.sment that Amabel felt rather than fear or antagonism, during that evening and the morning that followed. Augustine had left the room directly after Sir Hugh"s departure. When she saw him again he showed her a face resolutely mute. It was impossible to speak to him; to explain. The main facts he must see; that her husband was making love to her and that, however deep her love for him, she rejected him.
Augustine might believe that rejection to be for his own sake, might believe that she renounced love and sacrificed herself from a maternal sense of duty; and, indeed, the impossibility of bringing that love into her life with Augustine had been the clear impossibility that had flashed for her in her need; she had seized upon it and it had armed her in her reiterated refusal. But how tell Augustine that there had been more than the clear impossibility; how tell him that deeper than renouncement was recoil? To tell that would be a disloyalty to her husband; it would be almost to accuse him; it would be to show Augustine that something in her life was spoiled and that her husband had spoiled it. So perplexed, so jaded, was she, so tossed by the conflicting currents of her lesser plight, that the deeper fears were forgotten: she was not conscious of being afraid of Augustine.
The rain had ceased next morning. The sky was crystalline; the wet earth glittered in Autumnal sunshine.
Augustine went out for his ride and Amabel had her girls to read with.
There was a sense of peace for her in finding these threads of her life unknotted, smooth and simple, lying ready to her hand.
When she saw Augustine at lunch he said that he had met Lady Elliston.
"She was riding with Marjory and her girl."
"Oh, she is back, then." Amabel was grateful to him for his everyday tone.
"What is Lady Elliston"s girl like?"
"Pretty; very; foolish manners I thought; Marjory looked bewildered by her."
"The manners of girls have changed, I fancy, since my day; and she isn"t a boy-girl, like our nice Marjory, either?"
"No; she is a girl-girl; a pretty, forward, conceited girl-girl," said the ruthless Augustine. "Lady Elliston is coming to see you this afternoon; she asked me to tell you; she says she wants a long talk."
Amabel"s weary heart sank at the news.
"She is coming soon after lunch," said Augustine.
"Oh--dear--"--. She could not conceal her dismay.
"But you knew that you were to see her again;--do you mind so much?"
said Augustine.
"I don"t mind.--It is only;--I have got so out of the way of seeing people that it is something of a strain."
"Would you like me to come in and interrupt your talk?" asked Augustine after a moment.