Not being able to see his face, she could not read the tone of his voice. "No, " she said. "You"re superior in many ways."
He turned to face her quickly, looking at her intently. "Oh, don"t be concerned about me, Grace. I"m not having an ident.i.ty crisis. I read over your notes, the notes you made during my construction. I"m not supposed tofeel , am I?"
"No," she said simply.
Grace was accustomed to handling confidences from other people. But, my G.o.d, what do you say to a robot who is in love with a lively, pretty adolescent human girl?
She had feared that something like this would happen, and she"d dreaded it. She"d hoped that Tina Sells"s attraction to the admiral was much like her own, a fondness for a really nice, gentle, intelligent being, tempered with a knowledge of what the admiral was. "Do you know what I see the most beauty in, Grace?" the admiral asked suddenly. She shook her head.
"I see a beauty of organization in the ship"s computer system when I"m plugged in, when the entire system is working. It"s complete, whole. The shades of meaning, the splendid conformity of the billions of bytes of data, there"s an unseen glow about it, Grace, something that I can"t explain, and something you can"t see, but it"s beautiful. I know that I"m programmed to appreciate that. But then I can also see the beauty of a sunset and beauty in the way you look at me, even though I"m not constructed to do so.
Excuse me, Grace, but you"re beautiful to me."
"Thank you, " she said, her heart hurting for him, for he was looking at her so earnestly.
"When I walk in and you"re kissing Chief Rosen, I sense the way you feel. I"m not supposed to feel emotions, but they just seem to sweep over me, to soak into sensors in a way that I can"t a.n.a.lyze. Is that love?"
"Yes, " she said.
"Please don"t misunderstand," he went on. "I am, of course, programmed never to harm a human being.
The overt data there relates to physical harm. I can"t seem to separate mental or emotional hurt from physical hurt in my mind."
"You"re afraid you"re going to give someone an emotional hurt?"
"Yes," he said.
"Tina?"
"Yes."
She was beginning to feel a bit better. For a moment there she"d thought that the admiral was going to confess his love for the girl. But he was only concerned for her.
"Why are you concerned?" she asked.
"Grace, she has told me that it doesn"t matter that we are not alike." He paused. "This is going to be a bit embarra.s.sing for me."
"If you can stand it, I can," she a.s.sured him with a smile.
"She said that I"m the finest, kindest, most gentle person she"s ever known."
"I see," Grace said.
"She says that there"s far more to love than the physical aspects."
"And what did you say?"
"I told her that she"d feel differently about that as she grew older."
"I think you said the right thing," Grace said. "You"ve developed some nice sensibilities, Admiral. Would it help if I had a talk with Tina? I think every young girl goes through this. With me it was music and filmstars. A young girl can be safely and madly in love with an unreachable public figure. She can let all her pa.s.sions burn. She can ache and yearn and weep, and down inside she knows all the time that she"ll never be in a position to have to resist her strong urges or give in to them. Isn"t it the same in the case of Tina and you?"
"Perhaps, Grace, young people are a bit more mature than they were when you were a girl."
Oh, Lord, she was thinking.He isa teenager . "The younger generation, my dear, has been more mature-in its own opinion-for thousands of years. " She knew that she shouldn"t have said it. She didn"t want the talk to degenerate into a cross-generation conflict.Good Lord, Grace , she was thinking, you should have married long ago and had children, and then you"d be more prepared for them.
"Actually, Grace," the admiral said, "Tina is mature for her age. She"s very solid minded. She"s intelligent. She is going to be one of the finest minds in computer science. In fact, I"d like to suggest that you take her on as an apprentice, because her thought patterns are much like yours. This problem you"re working on now, for example, the effects the various chemicals manufactured in the brain of a miner have on memory chips, would be a good vehicle to use to teach Tina good research techniques."
"Are you changing the subject?"
"No, just a slight diversion."
"Tell Tina to come talk with me. I"ll see if she"s really interested. I could use an a.s.sistant now that you"re so busy."
"Thank you," he said. "I agree with you in principle. I think that she"s going through a phase and will, as you adults say, grow out of it. In the meantime, I see no reason why I shouldn"t continue to be her friend."
"No reason at all," she agreed. She was thinking wryly that at least no physical consequences could come of it. The admiral was made in man"s image, but not tothat detail. Once she"d actually considered giving him all the attributes of a man, but not even her sly sense of humor went that far. But there could be other complications. The admiral"s lips, for example, were made of that artificial skin, which, on the surface, was so realistic that it would take an expert to tell the difference by feel. Of course there"d be no moisture, no saliva, in a kiss from the admiral. But a young girl"s dreams didn"t go much beyond a kiss.
She felt a sudden surge of worry. Talk about mixed-up love affairs!
"Admiral, let me be sure I understand," she said. "Am I right in thinking that Tina is in love with you, or that you think she"s in love with you?"
"Yes," he said.
"She"s told you so?"
"Yes. That"s the problem, you see."
"I"m not sure I do see. You are not in love with Tina?"
"No. Of course not," he said quickly.
Good, she was thinking.Now we"re making progress. So, let me see, how do I want to word this ?"Admiral, may I ask a very personal question?"
"Of course."
"Do you ever have a desire to touch Tina? No, let me make that a multiple question. You see, there"s a lot we don"t understand about the functioning of that rather miraculous brain of yours, my boy. You were not supposed to have emotions, and you do. You were supposed to be programmed not to harm any human physically, and your own feelings have extended that to not hurting them emotionally. So, have you touched, kissed, or embraced Tina? Do you want to touch, kiss, or embrace Tina? Are you capable of falling in love with Tina?"
"In the order of asking," he said, "I have touched Tina, but not in a romantic way. Perhaps I might put my hand on her shoulder while she is at the keyboard and I"m giving her instructions. I have not kissed her, although she has kissed me on the cheek. I have not embraced her. As for my desires, I am fond of Tina and want to touch her, in the same manner that you sometimes put your hand on my arm. I have no desire to kiss her or embrace her in a romantic way"
Ah, Grace was thinking,it"s all going to be all right .
"For, you see," the admiral went on, "although I myself am young in years of existence, I am a mature being. Tina is much too young for me."
Whoops.
"I haven"t answered your last question, Grace, " the admiral said. "You asked if I was capable of falling in love with Tina. The specific answer is no, for the reasons I"ve just given. The general answer, however, is that I am quite capable of falling in love, have fallen in love, and find that love returned."
Flabbergasted, Grace was silent for a moment.
"Care to go into a bit more detail?" she asked.
"Not at the moment, Grace," he answered seriously. "The woman I love has asked me to hold our relationship in the strictest confidentiality."
The woman I love? "I can see why," Grace said.
"What we must guard against," the admiral said, "is giving hurt to a very sweet little girl."
Ican think of a lot of things we should guard against , Grace thought, but she said, "The woman you love is, uh, more mature?"
"Yes, in her thirties. But that is not the matter of concern now, Grace. Tina is our concern now. Please don"t let her know that I"ve talked with you, but if you"ll do what you can to get her interested in working with you-"
"Yes, I"ll do that," she said.How do you give advice to a robot who"s in love with a mature woman who is in love with him and to a teenage girl who"s about to be jilted?
"Thank you. Now I must go. I"ve promised Miss Burr to escort her and a friend to the beach. " "Have fun," Grace said under her breath as the admiral went out. "Don"t stay out late."
The white, sandy beach at the inland tip of Stanton Bay was a popular place in the late afternoon. It was a short walk from Hamilton proper through blooming, succulent plants that grew low to the ground and seemed to spring up overnight in the summer"s heat. When crushed they gave off a perfume that was tangy and sweet.
Evangeline Burr and Sage Bryson wore their swimsuits under absorbent robes. The admiral walked behind them, alert to any threat of danger, although no dangers had materialized in Eden since the unfortunate death of Lynn Roberts, the one and only victim of the miners. There were no snakes in Eden, no biting insects, and the succulent ground-cover plants growing in the sandy dunes at the end of the bay did not have spikes.
Duncan Rodrick, who always believed in playing it safe, had ordered that a protective net be installed fifty yards offsh.o.r.e. It was anch.o.r.ed to the bottom of the bay and was strong enough to keep out something as powerful as a great white shark, while the mesh was small enough to prevent entry by a slender sea snake.
The colony"s youngsters were out in force, watched over by their mothers and fathers, who basked in the late afternoon sun.
It was Evangeline"s first outing to the beach. When she took off her beach robe, her skin was smooth and pale. She sat down quickly on her towel, for she was modest and the ship"s issue swimsuit was fashionably brief. Evangeline filled it to a degree that made her measure up quite favorably with the less self-conscious Sage.
"You"re going to need some sunscreen," Sage told her. "You"re as white as a Victorian belle. "
"Yes," Evangeline said, "I burn rather easily." She spread the sunscreen onto her legs and arms, then tried awkwardly to rub it onto her back.
"You"ll never make it unless you"re double-jointed," Sage said, laughing.
"Would you mind?" Evangeline asked, extending the tube toward Sage.
"We have a perfectly capable man here for that," Sage said.
The admiral had taken position, standing at ease with his hands behind his back, on a little sand dune behind them. When Sage called to him, he came down, showering sand in front of his feet.
"Would you please do our backs?" Sage asked him.
"Of course," the admiral said. He knelt behind Evangeline and squeezed sunscreen onto his hand, which, to Evangeline, was surprisingly soft and gentle. She blushed in spite of herself. She"d never had a man rub sunscreen onto her back and shoulders, and the fact that the admiral was not really a man didn"t keep her from feeling odd.
The admiral was working on Sage"s back and doing a thorough job when Evangeline saw Paul Warden come down the slope and over a dune. Paul looked around, saw her and waved, and came trotting toward them. "Hi, gang," he said, throwing himself down on his knees beside Sage. "How"s it going?"
"h.e.l.lo, Paul," Sage said coldly.
"Admiral," Paul said, "you"re doing a great job, but your relief is here." He held out his hand and the admiral put the tube of sunscreen into it.
"Thank you," Sage said as Paul squeezed the tube, "but I"ve had quite enough."
"You sure?" Paul looked at the colorless gel on his palm as if to ask,Well, what do I do with this stuff now ?
"Have you had any interesting experiences with the miners, Commander Warden?" Evangeline asked.
She had to steel herself to keep from reaching for her beach robe to cover her feminine curves. But then Paul wasn"t looking at her.
"Same old stuff," Paul said, not noticing her formality.
The admiral had resumed his post on the sand dune. Evangeline, her eyes hidden behind sungla.s.ses, saw that Paul had a terrible scar, which ran from the tip of his left shoulder across the pectoral. She felt a moment of sympathy. It must have been a very painful injury.
"Hey, " Paul said, "let"s have a swim, huh?" He was looking directly at Sage.
"No, thanks, " Sage said. "You go, Evangeline."
Paul"s face fell. He looked at Evangeline, recovering, and winked. "How about it, Vange?"
She got to her feet, resisting the urge to let her shoulders slump to hide the thrust of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Paul yelled, "Last one in is the last one in," and trotted off.
Evangeline surprised herself as much as anyone when she ran and pa.s.sed him quickly. Paul really had to pump to catch her. They ran into the water together and high-stepped through the ripples to dive and surface and swim, Evangeline keeping even with Paul all the way, out to the net.
He stopped there, hanging onto a support, breathing hard. "Not bad," he said admiringly. "How come I never saw you in the pool on the ship?"
"I went there late at night," she said.
"Yeah? How come?"
"I liked it that way," she said.
"You do a mean crawl. I was on the swim team at the s.p.a.ce Academy, and you kept up with me stroke for stroke."
"I swam the freestyle sprints in college," she said.
"I"d never have guessed it. And you keep in shape, too." "It feels good to swim hard," she said. "I"m a little heavy now, but-"
"Heavy? Heck, no. You"re just right. What do you weigh, a hundred twenty-five?" She nodded. "That"s just about ideal for your height. What do you say we take it just medium fast along the net down to the end and then all the way back to the other end?"
"No racing," she said. "I could stay with you for a sprint, but you d wear me down on the distance."
"Okay, just smooth and easy."
It felt very good. She felt her muscles begin to stretch, got into the rhythm of it, and when they had finished the outlined course, she fell onto her back in shallow water, breathing hard and deep, looking up at the purple horizon to the west. Warden, also breathing hard, was looking up the beach toward Sage, who was lying on her stomach. The admiral, staunch figure, was standing guard from the low sand dune.
Evangeline saw the direction of his gaze. "Any progress to report in that direction?" she asked, amazed at her audacity.
"She doesn"t even know I"m alive," Paul said, and the puzzled look on his face made her want to reach out and touch him.
"You"ve never been married, have you?" she asked.
"Nope." He grinned. "Same old story. Never could find a woman who would have me."