Wyndham was silent. Her words startled and embarra.s.sed him, since he had been taking it for granted that she and Lady Betty would never come into contact. Besides, in a way, Alice had given utterance to more of a thought than a wish, so that a response hardly seemed necessary. They lunched together, and Alice went off soon after, leaving him to receive his sitters--the president and his wife, who were both to arrive that afternoon.
"Of course, you won"t expect me at Hampstead," he reminded her. "You remember I put my name down for a club dinner to-night."
"Of course I remember," she said. "But I shall write you a letter instead. Please look for it when you come home to-night."
But Wyndham did not dine at the club after all; at the last moment he decided to spend the evening alone at his studio. It seemed a long time since he had had a few quiet hours all to himself. Moreover, it was strangely a boon to hear no other voices for once, and he lay back pleasantly in his chair, though conscious of an uncommon degree of weariness. And, in the calm and solitude of the studio, intensified by the echoing of his occasional movements through the empty rooms beneath him, the Robinsons seemed indeed a long way off up at Hampstead there, and for the first time it seemed a positive bondage to him, this constant duty of journeying across town to dine with them.
The nine o"clock post brought the promised letter from Alice, but from amid the little heap in the box he picked out another eagerly. The writing was Lady Betty"s. He had never seen very much of it in the old days, yet he recognised it at once.
He remembered just then a shrewd dictum of Schopenhauer--that, if we wished to learn our real att.i.tude towards any person, we should watch and estimate our exact emotion at catching sight of the well-known handwriting on a letter we are just receiving. He certainly could not help observing the contrasting emotions with which he welcomed these two letters. Alice"s, at his first glimpse of it, had given him a deepened sense of the irrevocable. Yet there went with this a kind, affectionate thought in which was a world of appreciation. But he knew pretty nearly what the letter would contain; it could well be read at leisure.
He tore open Lady Betty"s at once, and read it feverishly as he stood there in the hall. "MY DEAR FRIEND," it ran--"My father was so disappointed when he got home at hearing that you had been, and had already flown. He suggests that you should stay to-morrow and join us at luncheon, and he asks me to bend your mind well in advance to the contemplation of such an ordeal--as he seriously considers it. The present cook doesn"t meet with his approval, but be rea.s.sured! It was only a new sauce sent up one day with pride; but that unfortunate sauce has since flavoured everything. My father has naturally imagination; at his age he has prejudices. Could even a Vatel face the combination?
"And now that I have performed my filial duty, I will add a few lines for my own pleasure. I humbly proffer a request. An idea has come to me that seems most charming--before we part again! Since you are working here, won"t you make a small sketch of me?--a tiny, typical thing, hit off all in a dash--and give it to me as a souvenir of your work? Nothing that would steal much of your time. I understand that every moment is precious just now, with the exhibitions so near, and I wish you not to do it if you are very pressed. In return I shall have a souvenir to give you--a strange, strange thought of mine. Please feel very curious about what it is to be, for you are certainly not going to be told till the time comes. _Au revoir._ Your friend, BETTY."
Wyndham mounted the stairs again slowly, and in the studio he re-read these precious lines, lingering on each individual word, and setting a marvellous price on it. He was happy yet terrified at this flash from fairyland into his strenuous existence.
But her words, "before we part again," rang in his mind, lurid, persistent. Yes, Lady Betty would vanish out of his life soon enough; even though her letter confirmed the respite which she had indeed seemed to grant that morning, but which nevertheless--antic.i.p.ating regret--he had scarcely ventured to dream of! There could clearly be no question as to her att.i.tude towards his marriage; he told himself that even the crime (flashing splendidly through his brain) of cutting himself free from the Robinsons with one heroic stroke in order to throw his whole life into this wonderful romance would be futile. Would Lady Betty ever consent to happiness purchased at such a price?--woo her as he might!
But this sweet, dainty dream of her brief companionship--was he called upon to turn away from it? Surely, no; else she had been the last to dazzle him with it. Her lead could be trusted to be beyond reproach.
And, however she regarded it in her heart, would there not be for him a little of strangely deep happiness; something to remember always, to leave a smile on his face at the moment of death?
The charm of the thought won him almost irresistibly. Lady Betty was his inspiration for ever; nay, that ideal elusive face would have been his inspiration even if he had never encountered her again. The harm--if harm there was in their meeting again--had been done irreparably in the past!
All would be over soon enough! What could emphasise it more than this very letter of hers he held in his hand? Was it not Lady Betty"s underlying thought in this desire for an exchange of souvenirs?
All would be over soon enough! Life would bear them apart, but the touch of sweetness would remain as an illumination. He could never be cheated out of that.
What was this souvenir she intended for him--this "strange, strange thought" of hers? She had in truth piqued his curiosity, and he foresaw her delight at his admitting it. What, indeed, could it be? And, occupied now with this fascinating speculation, he languidly took up his other letters, his fingers turning them over with an extreme indifference. Presently, with a sudden decision, he broke Alice"s envelope, and began to read her note. Three of the sides out of four were exactly as he had antic.i.p.ated, but towards the end he lighted on a pa.s.sage that unnerved him abruptly. "I have been thinking of your friends in Grosvenor Place. My heart goes out to Lady Lakeden. How hers must lie broken and bleeding! To lose a husband after only a few months of wedded life! I shut my eyes and try to think that such a thing cannot happen! And she and her father have always been so kind to you. My love for you is so great that I love everybody that spares one little thought specially for you."
Wyndham threw the letter down. That was enough; he must sacrifice all to the duties he had undertaken. He and Lady Betty must not see each other again. Could he not hear her dear voice saying, "Life is always a compromise. Perhaps it"s a blessing to see our clear obligations." Well, he at any rate saw his clear obligations. He would reply to Lady Betty; he would enter into the situation in all sincerity. He would paint her some little thing for the souvenir, and send it to her, and perhaps she might care to send him hers in return. His meeting her to-day and this loving exchange of gifts would remain in his thought as the most poetic episode of his life; but an episode that must speedily be closed.
She would understand and approve. Was she not the very spirit of chivalry, of honour and goodness? Since fate had given its decree, let them both bow to it!
XVIII
But the next morning he dressed with care, choosing with fastidiousness among his flowing silk ties, and went off to Grosvenor Place, stopping only on the way to get a new canvas for Lady Betty"s portrait. It was as if some great arm had encircled him irresistibly, and hurried him out of his studio, and jerked him into a hansom.
The first thing that caught his eye as he entered the usual room was a travelling easel opened out at its full length, bra.s.s-jointed, proudly agleam; and he marked his appreciation of the significance of its presence in equally significant fashion--by standing the newly-acquired canvas upon it. Then he installed himself at his window, and after a little preliminary fumbling he found himself well under weigh. At last he had struck the clear, even light he wanted, and he worked rapidly with his note-taking till the time the butler appeared with refreshments.
He sipped his wine, with one eye on the folding-door and the other maintaining some interest in the sketches before him. But the more vigilant eye of the two soon found its reward. Lady Betty appeared on the very stroke of noon, and came to him all fresh and smiling, in sunny contrast to his sense of the dull wintry universe.
"You seem a trifle thoughtful," she observed.
"I was speculating about the mysterious gift you promise."
She laughed merrily. "I observe, then, it is a bargain." She nodded towards the easel.
"I have had a charming idea as well," he said. "Could you give me two hours a day till the end of the month?"
"By all means."
"I should like to send you to the Salon."
"That is indeed a charming idea. But you must not risk your big work,"
she reminded him. "That, too, has to be ready in a few weeks."
"I shall have the whole of March for it exclusively. I am finishing my portraits this month."
"Your sketches are satisfactory?"
"One or two mornings more, and I shall have as much as I need. My difficulty with the picture all these years has been that I have had to build it up largely out of my own mind. My actual scene has of course never really existed in nature--though once or twice I managed to catch something of the kind here on the spot. But that was quite tumultuous and indiscriminate, whereas I wanted to catch the essence of the thing."
"You frighten the poor little amateur out of her wits."
They both laughed. "I had to s.n.a.t.c.h bits as best I could. Whilst striving to suggest the tumult and movement, I yet picked my material so as to give contrast and symbolism. Then I had to get my workmen and all the other kinds of folk to pose separately in the studio. Fortunately my old studio opened at the back into a little gla.s.s-house, and so I was able to pose the model as in the open. Naturally with the work on so huge a scale, I was wrestling with almost every drawback that could be conceived. It was no doubt a great mistake to have planned it at all, but I have learnt lessons I shall never forget."
"But you have conquered at last."
"Honestly, no. But it will succeed. My first idea was that the whole scene should be bathed in sunlight. But this, by throwing a vibration and glow over everything, would have submerged the social contrast of Fashion and Labour--would have made the whole thing primarily a piece of pure technique, and weakened its human significance. I did not want the sunshine to be the motive of the picture; I wanted the human side to stand out first, and speak with its full force. I therefore chose a dull light, so that the smartness of Fashion glows in relief against the drab tones of Labour. I am afraid though I am exaggerating the contrast more than I really like. That, however, will help it with the great public."
"I don"t think I approve of such sentiments. I want you to strive for the highest."
"That is the future. But here it was a question of extricating myself from wreckage. As art it is far from perfect. But its success will help me to higher things."
"On that ground only we must pa.s.s it this time. But I have been wondering how you will use these last sketches you have been making."
She examined them attentively awhile. "To me they are not very intelligible, though I have a vague idea of their purpose."
"They are mere notes," he explained. "If you will come here by the window and get the point of view, I think I can make them perfectly intelligible."
She came and stood by his side, and one by one he took up the little canva.s.ses, explaining his tones and ma.s.ses and relative values. As he spoke his words seemed to evoke a strange life from the blurs and brush marks. A splash of colour changed before her eyes into an omnibus; a darker blob into a brougham; vistas and s.p.a.ces, buildings and foliage stood revealed out of chaos. She listened with a pretty interest, her lips daintily parted, her breath coming lightly, yet her features composed into a characteristic stateliness--of which catching a sudden glimpse as she brushed close to him, he mentally registered the judgment "surpa.s.singly fine!" He was glad he had caught that aspect; it summed her up in a way so perfectly. There was his Salon picture!
"And while you have been listening I have been studying you," he confessed, as he placed the sketches aside.
"I should have thought you knew me by heart."
"You are not so definite and limited. Beauty is always flashing surprises on the eye that can see."
"I think I like that," she said gaily. "I must bear it in mind.... It"s only a toy easel," she flew off as he drew it forward. "In spite of its excellent preservation, it is a relic of my childhood: in the family I was supposed to have talent, so an aunt gave it to me for a birthday present, pegs and all, to take into the country and sketch all sorts of pretty bits. There was a little stool that went with it."
"It will serve admirably--without the stool," he added, with a smile. "I should like you to stand with the folding-door as a background. I think we"re lucky to have such an interesting stretch of panelling in the room. We must get all the light on it we can."
She tripped down the room gaily, and stood as he indicated. Then he manipulated the blinds and the curtain till a clear, soft light, melting gradually into the surrounding greyer tones, fell on the wood-work, and Lady Betty stood illuminated with a suggestion of airy phantasm.
"The face a shade more to the left," he commanded. "There! Now I have caught you again."