"No, dear; you have not lost my sympathy. Please don"t think that," she pleaded. "Don"t you see I want to be a real friend to you; don"t you see that you are more to me than your art?"
"I must fight it out," he insisted. "To-morrow I am starting a fresh lot of things--to sell! I have always stood out for the big accomplishment, but now I offer my labour in the market. Pretty designs, prettily coloured--Cupids and pearly clouds and wreaths of flowers. The dealers will take them. You will see, Mary, I shall manage to pull through yet."
She shook her head incredulously. "Better to give it up altogether before it is too late."
"You can"t mean it," he exclaimed. "You have stood by me so long that I can"t believe you are going to turn against me."
"I repeat that I care for you more than for your art, and I cannot see you sacrificed. No, I have not turned against you. I have been against you all this long, unhappy time. To-day I am your friend for the first time. Listen, darling. When I got your letter yesterday, I knew that things were as bad as ever, that you were at your wits" ends again for money."
He maintained a shamefaced silence, not daring to make any pretence to the contrary. She looked straight at him as she continued: "I am sure you will be the last to think I have ever considered the few pounds I have been able to put aside for you--my heart"s best affection has always gone out to you with them. But the whole of last night I kept awake, and prayed for strength to refuse you any more money."
He held his head down; he was too abased to speak.
"Strength has been granted me at last. You are dear to me, and I will not help to continue this unhappy state of affairs. Sell off your studio, try your fortune in the Colonies, and you will yet pull your life out of the mire."
He rose, and took up his hat. "I daresay you are right, Mary. But I am an artist. Art is my life. Outside that there is nothing for me. Don"t think I am ungrateful for all you have done. Goodbye!"
"Goodbye, darling. Perhaps you will yet think it over."
He shook his head wearily and turned away, not seeing that she had held her lips to him. The next moment he was descending the muddy staircase, slipping and stumbling on the bare stone. He was conscious that Mary was standing in the doorway a moment, but he did not see the convulsive working of her face, nor know that as soon as he was out of sight she had thrown herself on her bed, heart-broken, her body shaken in a terrible burst of sobbing.
IV
In the High Street Wyndham waited impatiently for an omnibus to take him home again. Instinctively he turned for refuge to the bleak studio, from whose loneliness he had so often been impelled to escape. But it was his own corner, and all he had. He would not light his lamp; he would lie there in the gloom till his pain and self-abas.e.m.e.nt should have worn themselves out. Merciful sleep might come; perhaps--and the idea seemed sweet to him--the sleep of all sleeps.
So he possessed his spirit as best he could, while the vehicle lumbered along through the endless streets; shivering a little in the autumn dusk as now and then a gust of wind arose. The sky clouded heavily, and, when finally he descended, the rain was falling swiftly again.
At last he was at home! He thought of the studio now with affection, and quickened his pace feverishly. Then he became aware that a familiar figure, holding a familiar rush-bag with a skewer thrust through it, was trudging just ahead of him in the growing darkness. But he was not surprised at catching sight of Mr. Robinson, since it was the regular hour of the merchant"s appearance after his homeward journey from the City. As usual, Mr. Robinson"s house filled the centre of vision, looming vast at the cross-roads, and softened in the evening mist; and for the first time the figure plodding towards it under the dripping umbrella struck Wyndham as interesting and strangely human.
Steadily, steadily, Wyndham gained on his neighbour; then, acting on some vague instinct, slackened his step so as not to have to pa.s.s him to get to his own door. But just outside the studio Mr. Robinson slipped, swayed, then came to the ground heavily. Wyndham at once hurried forward, and helped him to his feet.
"You are not hurt, I hope?" he inquired.
"I think not," returned the old man. He leaned against the studio door, whilst Wyndham took the rush-bag from his clenched fingers, and gathered up the umbrella from the gutter into which it had rolled. Mr. Robinson surveyed his soiled garments ruefully, and shook his head sadly.
"It _is_ beastly," a.s.sented Wyndham.
"It can"t be helped," said the old man; "though mud like this on a new suit of clothes puts a hard strain on a man"s philosophy." There was a good-natured gleam in his eye and a brave smile on his face. Wyndham found himself unexpectedly attracted, and was much concerned when Mr.
Robinson tried to take a step or two, but was pulled up painfully.
"Pray, don"t alarm yourself, sir," said Mr. Robinson, as Wyndham caught at his arm solicitously. "I am only a little bruised, and have had rather a wrench. I must just breathe for an instant."
"Won"t you come into my studio, and rest for a moment or two?" suggested Wyndham. "I shall be delighted if you will."
He produced the key from his pocket, turned it in the lock, and threw open the door. Then he offered Mr. Robinson the support of his arm.
"It is very kind of you, sir," said the old man, as he linked his arm in Wyndham"s. "My name is Robinson. I live just up the road. I daresay you may have noticed me: I have often noticed you."
"I am enchanted to make your acquaintance, though I regret the particular circ.u.mstances," said Wyndham, as they pa.s.sed through the little ante-room into the dim interior.
"I cannot share your regret," returned Mr. Robinson, with a touch of suave conviction. "No, not even if the accident were more serious, since I have been afforded the pleasure of knowing you."
Wyndham was surprised at the sweetness and old-world courtesy revealed in the old man"s personality. "You are very kind," he said with a smile.
"I hope indeed I am worth so pretty a sentiment. But please take this arm-chair."
He pushed it forward, then set the rush-bag down on the table, hastily throwing a serviette over the litter of his last meal, which he had not had the energy to clear away, and which now brusquely offended his fastidiousness. But as Mr. Robinson, good careful soul, hesitated to soil the chair, Wyndham got a rag and wiped away the more lurid splashes from his garments. Then, whilst the old man rested, Wyndham trimmed his lamp; and presently the glooms vanished before a cosy illumination. Mr.
Robinson at once began to scrutinise the studio on all sides with amusingly deep interest. The old Normandy presses, the model"s throne, the giant easel, the well-worn Persian carpet, the hosts of canva.s.ses of all sizes standing with their faces to the wall, the disorder and informality everywhere--all seemed to strike for him a note of youth and gaiety, to animate him with a sense of a new romantic universe. His face lighted with pleasure. He gazed up at the lofty roof and the oak cross-beams that supported it, and finally his eye rested on the little stairway and gallery at the far end, now almost lost in the shadows.
"Is your bedroom up there?" he hazarded, his nave interest slipping out on his tongue.
"Yes," smiled Wyndham, as he tackled the dying fire. "It"s the traditional arrangement."
"What a fascinating place you"ve got here! It"s all a new world to me."
"Ah, it"s a very ordinary sort of world--when once you"ve settled down to work."
"I have never known an artist before," pursued the old man, "and it is all fresh to me. I think that if I were a youngster again, I shouldn"t at all dislike having a place like this, and making my home of it. Not that I mean I should ever have made anything of an artist," he added with a smile. "It"s the spirit of the thing that appeals to me. You must be very happy here."
"Not necessarily," said Wyndham. He saw the old man"s eyes fixed on him gravely. "You see, I"m not one of your successful artists, and the years have a way of pa.s.sing on." He struggled with the fire, making the sticks blaze, then piled up the coals unsparingly. Mr. Robinson was the only person in the world to whom he had ever admitted failure, but somehow it did not seem to matter.
The old man gazed at him in frank astonishment. "Why, you are in the prime of early manhood!" he exclaimed. "Really it is most extraordinary to hear a splendid young man like you complain of the years pa.s.sing!"
"I"m thirty-three," volunteered Wyndham. "And an unlucky devil of thirty-three, who has as much trouble in getting rid of his work as I, feels old enough in all conscience."
"But you artists have to expect these adverse experiences," said Mr.
Robinson. "Art of course isn"t like other things--it isn"t exactly a business or profession in the ordinary sense, and so long as a man has the gift, he ought not to get disheartened. In our business world, of course, pounds, shillings and pence are everything, but in the world of art it wouldn"t do to set up a standard of that kind."
Such sentiments on the part of a Philistine who came home every evening from the City at six o"clock struck Wyndham speechless.
"The struggle of genius is proverbial," Mr. Robinson added, before the younger man could find his tongue; "and genius wouldn"t be genius without it."
"Ah, if I were only a genius!" said Wyndham, laughing.
"I am sure you are a genius," said the old man very gravely. "I have often thought what a clever face yours was. At home we have often spoken of you."
"I suppose then I must be a conspicuous figure in the road. I had no idea of it!" Wyndham laughed again.
"You"ve been in the neighbourhood some years now," said Mr. Robinson half apologetically; "and neighbours naturally notice one another.
Besides, if I may say so, you are quite unlike the ordinary run of people. You are not the sort of man one sees in the City."
"You interest me. In what way do I differ from others?"
"You have the stamp of belonging to leisured people; it is plain from your walk and bearing, from your voice and manner of speech. And then there is something about your clothes even--I don"t quite know what."
The old man"s eyes rested on him with a sort of approval and satisfaction.