An Ideal Husband

Chapter 21

MRS. CHEVELEY. Stop! Stop! Let me have time to think.

LORD GORING. Give me Robert Chiltern"s letter.

MRS. CHEVELEY. I have not got it with me. I will give it to you to-morrow.

LORD GORING. You know you are lying. Give it to me at once. [MRS.

CHEVELEY _pulls the letter out_, _and hands it to him_. _She is horribly pale_.] This is it?



MRS. CHEVELEY. [_In a hoa.r.s.e voice_.] Yes.

LORD GORING. [_Takes the letter_, _examines it_, _sighs_, _and burns it with the lamp_.] For so well-dressed a woman, Mrs. Cheveley, you have moments of admirable common sense. I congratulate you.

MRS. CHEVELEY. [_Catches sight of_ LADY CHILTERN"S _letter_, _the cover of which is just showing from under the blotting-book_.] Please get me a gla.s.s of water.

LORD GORING. Certainly. [_Goes to the corner of the room and pours out a gla.s.s of water_. _While his back is turned_ MRS. CHEVELEY _steals_ LADY CHILTERN"S _letter_. _When_ LORD GORING _returns the gla.s.s she refuses it with a gesture_.]

MRS. CHEVELEY. Thank you. Will you help me on with my cloak?

LORD GORING. With pleasure. [_Puts her cloak on_.]

MRS. CHEVELEY. Thanks. I am never going to try to harm Robert Chiltern again.

LORD GORING. Fortunately you have not the chance, Mrs. Cheveley.

MRS. CHEVELEY. Well, if even I had the chance, I wouldn"t. On the contrary, I am going to render him a great service.

LORD GORING. I am charmed to hear it. It is a reformation.

MRS. CHEVELEY. Yes. I can"t bear so upright a gentleman, so honourable an English gentleman, being so shamefully deceived, and so-

LORD GORING. Well?

MRS. CHEVELEY. I find that somehow Gertrude Chiltern"s dying speech and confession has strayed into my pocket.

LORD GORING. What do you mean?

MRS. CHEVELEY. [_With a bitter note of triumph in her voice_.] I mean that I am going to send Robert Chiltern the love-letter his wife wrote to you to-night.

LORD GORING. Love-letter?

MRS. CHEVELEY. [_Laughing_.] "I want you. I trust you. I am coming to you. Gertrude."

[LORD GORING _rushes to the bureau and takes up the envelope_, _finds is empty_, _and turns round_.]

LORD GORING. You wretched woman, must you always be thieving? Give me back that letter. I"ll take it from you by force. You shall not leave my room till I have got it.

[_He rushes towards her_, _but_ MRS. CHEVELEY _at once puts her hand on the electric bell that is on the table_. _The bell sounds with shrill reverberations_, _and_ PHIPPS _enters_.]

MRS. CHEVELEY. [_After a pause_.] Lord Goring merely rang that you should show me out. Good-night, Lord Goring!

[_Goes out followed by_ PHIPPS. _Her face it illumined with evil triumph_. _There is joy in her eyes_. _Youth seems to have come back to her_. _Her last glance is like a swift arrow_. LORD GORING _bites his lip_, _and lights his a cigarette_.]

ACT DROPS

FOURTH ACT

SCENE

_Same as Act II_.

[LORD GORING _is standing by the fireplace with his hands in his pockets_. _He is looking rather bored_.]

LORD GORING. [_Pulls out his watch_, _inspects it_, _and rings the bell_.] It is a great nuisance. I can"t find any one in this house to talk to. And I am full of interesting information. I feel like the latest edition of something or other.

[_Enter servant_.]

JAMES. Sir Robert is still at the Foreign Office, my lord.

LORD GORING. Lady Chiltern not down yet?

JAMES. Her ladyship has not yet left her room. Miss Chiltern has just come in from riding.

LORD GORING. [_To himself_.] Ah! that is something.

JAMES. Lord Caversham has been waiting some time in the library for Sir Robert. I told him your lordship was here.

LORD GORING. Thank you! Would you kindly tell him I"ve gone?

JAMES. [_Bowing_.] I shall do so, my lord.

[_Exit servant_.]

LORD GORING. Really, I don"t want to meet my father three days running.

It is a great deal too much excitement for any son. I hope to goodness he won"t come up. Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. Mothers are different. Mothers are darlings. [_Throws himself down into a chair_, _picks up a paper and begins to read it_.]

[_Enter_ LORD CAVERSHAM.]

LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, sir, what are you doing here? Wasting your time as usual, I suppose?

LORD GORING. [_Throws down paper and rises_.] My dear father, when one pays a visit it is for the purpose of wasting other people"s time, not one"s own.

LORD CAVERSHAM. Have you been thinking over what I spoke to you about last night?

LORD GORING. I have been thinking about nothing else.

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