"I retain my appearance at the time I a.s.sumed the Office," Gaea said. "In twenty years I have not aged-but normally I mask it, so as to appear older."
"Oh, yes, of course! I am glad for you."
"But why did you do it?"
"My baby died. I-I had lived my whole life, to be the best mother it was possible to be, and when-"
"The kind of mother I could not be," Gaea said.
"Oh, that was not your fault!" Orlene protested. "Chronos showed me-you were deprived of-you did what you had to do!"
"Perhaps. And because of my responsibility to my Office, I wrote you out of my life. But indeed I missed you, my darling child! I compensated by trying to be the best mother to the natural world that I could be: the Green Mother. But I never looked at you, lest that awareness distort my judgment. I felt that if I performed well in my Office, you would do well in your life. Now I see that I failed."
"You did not fail! I had a good life, an excellent life! I ended it myself. I-"
The window turned dark, with a preternatural glimmer. "I remember an unfortunate case involving a baby. Were you-did you marry a ghost?"
Jolie, knowing what was coming, let no thought escape.
There was nothing she could do to alleviate it.
"Yes. Gawain. I was to bear a child for him, an heir-"
"And I changed that baby, at his behest!" Gaea cried.
"And destroyed my daughter!"
Orlene gazed at her with renewed grief. "You did not know."
"The ghost wanted his son to have his heritage," Gaea said. "I was busy, and granted the favor without properly checking, and so bequeathed to that baby the fatal regressive family malady. I was horrified at my error of carelessness but now I am appalled. Look what I did to you!"
"No! I did it to myself! I was foolish and nearsighted and secretive, and brought grief to all those who had sustained me!" Orlene cried. "I could have let my baby go, and remained alive, and had another baby, and so fulfilled my commitments to both my ghost husband and myself, and not done the awful thing I did to my lover and my adoptive parents and to you! If I had it to do over again, with the perspective I have now, I would do what I know is right." Yet she paused, remembering Vita and the rest of it. "At least, I-I"m not sure. But then I did not know, and the blame is mine, and I curse myself for what I did in my ignorance. I know that it is right that I pay with my pain for-"
But Gaea was with her now, holding her. "No, no, my child, it cannot be! I gave you up by choice, knowing it was best, but you had no choice, your baby was dead by my hand, you could not adjust so suddenly! It happens to mortals all too frequently, because they lack the perspective, their lives are so brief and intense. I see it all over the world, all the time, and I cannot mitigate it despite all my power, for it is the human way."
The window had slowly brightened during this dialogue, and now the weather in the mortal realm seemed almost normal. Jolie was relieved; she knew the effect Gaea"s emotions had on natural things. That was one of the reasons she had avoided telling Gaea of this matter directly. Gaea had surely suspected, but even so, the shock of confirmation had been formidable, and the climate of the world had been jolted. Now the worst was over.
"I thank you for your understanding. Mother," Orlene said after a bit, wiping her face. "But I did not come here to speak this way to you. I came for a favor-which now I cannot ask."
"You must ask it, daughter-but I may not be able to grant it."
"It-I saw Nox, who has Gaw-Two, and she told me I had to get something from each Incarnation if I hoped to rid him of his malady."
"That must be true," Gaea agreed. "What is done by an Incarnation cannot necessarily be undone by that Incarnation, for things interact. I did the bad deed, but once it involved Thanatos and Fate-"
"And Chronos," Orlene said. "He was my lover, as a mortal. My death caused him to seek the Office of Time."
Gaea gazed at her for an extended moment, disconcerted. "Then this seemingly isolated error has had enormous consequence!" she said. "Perhaps only an ent.i.ty outside the ordinary framework can perceive the full extent of it-and Nox is that ent.i.ty. She lacks power in our realm, but her influence can be significant. Never before, in my experience, has she involved herself directly in our affairs. I find this more disturbing than rea.s.suring."
"Surely she does not mean mischief!"
"We cannot be sure. Nox keeps her purpose secret and she is the mistress of secrets." Gaea took a breath. "What is the thing you need from me, Orlene?"
"It is a tear."
Again Gaea gazed at her. The clouds swirled in the window. "That is not lightly granted."
"I know. If I had realized-if I had known what you have told me, I would not have come. It is not right to-"
"You must earn it," Gaea said abruptly. "As anyone else would. That will not be easy."
"None of this has been easy," Orlene murmured. "How may I earn it?"
"I have a problem whose solution may have bearing on the continued existence of the human species," she said seriously. "But that solution eludes me. I could use an opinion."
"But I know so little!" Orlene protested. "What could I possibly know about that you have not long since explored?"
Gaea smiled, not pleasantly. "It is a long shot, I agree. But Nox"s involvement in your case suggests that you may have something. I will send you among the mortals on a research mission, and you will observe and form an opinion. For that opinion I will grant your favor."
Orlene was fl.u.s.tered. "But to provide a thing of such value, for an opinion of such little value-when I am your daughter! Who would believe-"
"I think you will have to weigh your opinion most seriously, to be a.s.sured that its value warrants its payment."
She"s up to something, Jolie thought. I know her. Don"t argue, just get on with it.
"What must I do?" Orlene asked. "Leave your mortal host here. For this you must occupy another host, temporarily."
Don"t leave me here! Vita protested. I came to Purgatory with you, I want to go form an opinion with you!
"Indeed, I want you with her. Vita," Gaea said, startling all three of them. They had for the moment forgotten how the Incarnations could perceive them individually. "You have experience that relates. Jolie does too. I am sending you to a teenage mortal girl who is very likely to get pregnant this day. Here is my concern: overpopulation is perhaps the greatest current problem in the mortal realm. The sheer increasing ma.s.s of human flesh is squeezing out all other creatures, rendering a record number of them extinct. It is depleting resources and destroying the environment for all. The compet.i.tion for resources is generating pressure for war and bringing poverty to the majority of living folk. This is the thing I must deal with if the species is not to suffer grievously. But this problem is rooted in individual att.i.tudes and acts. Responsible reproduction is essential for the perpetuation of the species, but irresponsible reproduction will destroy it. How can I cause all reproduction to be responsible, instead of the consequence of cultural or religious bias, or mere entertainment?"
The three of them were silent. Orlene was reminded of her lost baby. Vita thought of her brief career as a prost.i.tute. Jolie thought of the children she had never had, because she had died too soon. All of them had indulged in s.e.x with abandon. None of them had succeeded in having families. How could they judge?
"In many regions of the world," Gaea continued, perceiving their doubt, "multiple children are needed to secure the welfare of their parents as they age. No importuning will cause those parents to reduce the size of their families; they would suffer if they did. In other regions, poverty eliminates most forms of entertainment; procreation, it is truly said, becomes recreation. In others, there are religious barriers to contraception or other means of family planning. I need a simple, practical, universal mechanism to make procreation responsible. I believe that a single case may provide the answer-if there is an answer. You will seek an opinion about the existence of such an answer."
It really was a critical matter! Mars faced the problem of a world-destroying war-and here was one of the roots of that war. Fate struggled with an increasingly tangled skein, and the sheer numbers of mortal folk contributed to that. The problems of the Incarnations were indeed linked. But how could they come up with an answer if the Incarnation of Nature could not? "We"ll try," Orlene said.
"Lie down," Gaea said, showing her to the chamber she had used before. "The body will be safe here, and your spirits will not be in danger there."
Orlene lay down. Then Jolie linked hands, mentally, with Orlene and Vita, and the three of them floated out of the body. They had only vague human semblances, and their spirits overlapped each other, so that they seemed to be a single confused ent.i.ty. They followed Gaea back to the window, which now showed a young, rather pretty black girl walking toward a building at dusk. She was in what was evidently her best dress for dancing, white pseudo silk with ruffles. The decolletage was low, and she wore a sparkling rose quartz necklace which rested across the slope of her nascent b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"Follow." Gaea stepped into the window and appeared beside the girl, who took no notice. They followed, and found themselves there too. "Enter her and observe. You may influence her, but that will change her situation and perhaps distort your observation. When you are satisfied, call me, and I will bring you back."
They floated as a tight group into the girl. Vita was still inexperienced, but Jolie was thoroughly experienced, so helped her get settled in. It was not the same as it had been with Fate on the saucer, or with Mars on the Babylon-Persia frontier; their technique was a magical pseudomergence of physical bodies, while this was actual possession of a mortal host by spirits. In the old days it had been thought to be possession by demons, but usually it had been spiritual, not demonic, habitation. When a demon did it, the demon normally took over completely, and usually destroyed the host before it was through. Spirits were far more gentle, and could not take over unless given leave by the host. They often, in fact, were benign-as in this case. But the popular prejudice against them remained.
That was the case while Jolie and Orlene were with Vita, and now it was the case with the three of them in the present host. They tuned in on the girl"s mind, which was unguarded, and learned that her name was Ilka, and that she was fifteen years old, and that her name meant "hard worker." She did work hard, living up to it, and made pretty good grades, and did a lot around the house, too, but her mother still put her down as a child. She wasn"t allowed to date, because she was too young, and anyway, all men were evil, her mother said, they just wanted to paw over a girl and put a baby in her and bug off. All her friends had boyfriends, and sure it was true about what those boys wanted, and two of her friends had abortions and a couple more were worried, but it sure proved one thing: they were women. She knew all about it: a girl could get a great good time from a man, if she got it before he managed to get into her pants, and if he liked her, he would be back next day for more, and if she got a baby, well, that was really proof she was a woman. She saw, she knew. She was tired of being dumped on by her mother; she wanted some romance, some independence, some respect. So tonight she had dressed up and sneaked out: she was going to get into the big dance and have herself a time, no matter what!
She has trouble with her mother? Vita thought. She doesn"t know what trouble is!
But if she is typical, she"ll get pregnant-and we need to know what would stop her and all those like her, Jolie reminded her. In my day we needed all the babies we could get, but today there are too many.
I wanted my baby, Orlene thought wistfully.
She"s a fool to want a baby! Vita thought. I made sure to wear my charm, always! I mean, a baby would be fine, when I"m older and married and through with fun, but she"s too young. She"s my age!
So you may understand her best, Jolie reminded her.
Yeah, I see the track ahead of her, to be a black wh.o.r.e like me, hooked on H! If you folk hadn"t come and put iron in my willpower, I never would have thrown that off!
Ilka approached the dance building. It was brightly lighted, and magic flares in the form of dancing figures floated above it. Couples were arriving and entering.
That looks great! Vita thought. I"d kill to get into a dance like that!
But you don"t know anything about it! Orlene protested. And with no date She"ll get picked up. Vita said. That"s the idea. It"s not as good as having a real date, but you do it any way you can.
Indeed, Ilka was looking around now, trying to spot a likely man without a date. This was the tricky part.
There were several young men near the entrance, dressed to dance. One was fat, one was ugly, and one was neither. All were white.
Ilka nerved herself. She knew that white preferred white, at least to be seen with in public; she risked a crude rebuff. But if she got lucky, one of these would take her.
Sure enough, the handsome one spied her and stepped forward. "Lose your date, girl?" he called.
"Not exactly," she responded. "You looking for one?"
"Maybe. You got money?"
"Not enough."
"You expect to be paid for?"
"Maybe." She knew it wasn"t smart of her to come right out and say it.
"Well, I"ve got the price of the dance. But it"s not cheap."
"Didn"t figure it would be."
"You want to go in with me?"
"Why not?"
"And come home with me?"
"Why not?"
He eyed her, looking down her front. It was a good front, pushed in and up for best effect; she had worked hard on that aspect, because she didn"t yet have all the fullness she hoped for. "I think you"re just looking for a ticket in, then you"ll lose me."
"That"s a lie!" But she knew girls did that sometimes. The thought had crossed her mind. What did she know of this character?
"Then come to my car first."
Nuh-uh! Vita thought emphatically. He"ll screw you twice: once in the car, again when he reneges on the deal!
Ilka picked it up, for Vita had directed it at her. "After the dance!" she said.
He scowled. "Listen, you black b.i.t.c.h-"
You should talk, you white pimp! Vita thought. You"re trying to get some free a.s.s!
Ilka heard that thought. She a.s.sumed it was her own, and was surprised at her insight. "Forget it, pimp!" she snapped. "I"ll go with one of these others."
"Yeah?" The boy"s face turned ugly. He raised his voice. "Hey, this hooker"s soliciting me! Isn"t that against the law?"
"You liar!" Ilka exclaimed, furious. "You were trying to get me into your car!"
"I"m going to turn you in!" he said.
Brother! Vita thought. They"ll believe him too! Get out of here. Ilka!
Ilka, responding to what seemed to be her own thought, turned and strode away. But she heard one of the others speak to the one who had approached her. "You fool, Frank-she"d"ve put out, if you"d played it straight!"
That"s for sure! Vita agreed. And gotten knocked up too. Crazy girl"s got no amulet, no sense!
But I wanted to go dancing! Ilka protested inwardly, the reaction setting in as she walked back along the street. It was the only way!
You"d have paid ten times what it was worth! Vita thought fiercely. A hundred times! What would you want with a b.a.s.t.a.r.d baby?
There was a shock in the host. Jolie thought it was Ilka, but then realized that it was Orlene. Orlene had been born to an unwed mother, and borne a son who barely missed similar status.
Who cares? the girl argued. At least I"d love the baby-and it would love me. I"d he somebody!
And there we have it! Orlene thought. A baby would give her ident.i.ty! A love relationship! As it did for me!
But you were prepared, Jolie reminded her. You were married, and had a good situation. Money was no problem. How would it have been on the street, with an illegitimate baby?
Disaster! Vita supplied. The girl"s a fool! She"d get tired of that baby in weeks, and maybe leave it in a garbage dump.
And she"d be starving herself, Jolie agreed. But even if she kept it-even if her domineering mother let her keep it-she"d still be adding to the population. And it"s because of her bad relationship with her own mother that she wants it. She wants to be a mother herself, to be the authority figure in her family. It"s foolish, it"s unworkable-but she"ll still do it. And so will a million other girls! I"d get by somehow! Ilka argued. Either way, it"s mischief, Orlene thought. At least we stopped one baby. Vita thought. Tonight, Jolie concluded. They all knew that it was a hollow victory. The girl would probably get pregnant on another occasion. What opinion could they offer Gaea that wasn"t already obvious? It would be impossible to have a ghost inhibit every wayward girl!
She was walking by a dark building. Suddenly a man appeared. He loomed up so quickly that she couldn"t even scream before his gloved hand clamped over her mouth. She struggled, but then felt the p.r.i.c.k of a knife at her side. "Quiet, b.i.t.c.h, or I"ll cut out your rotten heart!" the man hissed at her ear.
She had no choice; he was too strong, and the knife hurt. She walked where he shoved her: into the dark building.
Inside, he took her up a flight of steps and into a small room. He shut the door and turned on the light. Ilka blinked in the sudden brightness. This was evidently an interior room, without windows; no light would show outside. And what if it did? Surely the sound of her scream wouldn"t carry, and if it did, neighbors probably wouldn"t care.
He threw her away from him. Ilka stumbled, and tripped over a bed she hadn"t seen in the brightness. She flopped on it, her fear increasing now that the immediacy of the p.r.i.c.k of the knife was gone.
We"ve got to do something! Oriene thought. We got her into this, by turning her away from the dance.