Comes from the three times I got drunk back in the fall of "ninety-three when my cousin was here from Albany fer a visit. I _had_ to entertain him, didn"t I? An" there wasn"t any other way to do it in this jerk-water town, was there? An" ever since then the windbags in this town have been prayin" fer me an" pityin" my poor wife. That"s what a feller gits fer livin" in a--"
"Now, now!" admonished Anderson soothingly. "Don"t git excited, Alf. You deserve a lot o" credit. Ain"t many men, I tell you, could break off sudden like that, an"--"
"Oh, you go to gra.s.s!" exclaimed Alf hotly.
Anderson inspected him closely. "Lemme smell your breath, Alf Reesling,"
he commanded.
"What"s the use?" growled Alf. "Wouldn"t last fer twenty-three years, would it?"
"Well, you talk mighty queer," said the marshal, unconvinced. He couldn"t imagine such a thing as a strictly sober man telling him to go to gra.s.s. He was the most important man in Tinkletown.
Further discussion was prevented by the approach of Mr. Crow"s daughter, Susie, accompanied by a tall, pink-faced young man in a resplendent checked suit and a dazzling red necktie. They came from Brubaker"s popular drugstore and ice-cream "parlour," two doors below.
"h.e.l.lo, Pop," said Susie gaily, as the couple sauntered past their half-halting seniors.
"H"are you, Mr. Crow?" was the young man"s greeting, uttered with the convulsive earnestness of sudden embarra.s.sment. "Fine day, ain"t it?"
Mr. Crow said that it was, and then both he and Alf stopped short in their tracks and gazed intently at the backs of the young people. Even as they stared, a fiery redness enveloped the ears of Susie"s companion.
A few steps farther on he turned his head and looked back. Something that may be described as sheepish defiance marked that swift, involuntary glance.
Mr. Reesling broke the silence. There was a worried, sympathetic note in his voice.
"Got on his Sunday clothes, Anderson, and this is only Wednesday. Beats the Dutch, don"t it?"
"I wonder--" began Mr. Crow, and then closed his lips so tightly and so abruptly that his spa.r.s.e chin whiskers stuck out almost horizontally.
He started off briskly in the wake of the young people. Alf, forgetting his own apprehensions in the face of this visible manifestation, shuffled along a few paces behind.
Miss Crow and her companion turned the corner below and were lost to view.
"By gosh," said Alf, suddenly increasing his speed until he came abreast of the other; "you better hurry, Anderson. Justice Robb"s in his office.
I seen his feet in the winder a little while ago."
"They surely can"t be thinkin" of--" Mr. Crow did not complete the sentence.
"Why not?" demanded Alf. "Everybody else is. And it would be just like that Schultz boy to do it without an invitation. Ever since this war"s been goin" on them Schultzes have been blowin" about always bein"
prepared fer anything. German efficiency"s what they"re always throwin"
up to people. I bet he"s been over to the county seat an" got a license to--"
Anderson interrupted him with a snort. He put his hand on his right hip pocket, where something bulged ominously, and quickened his pace.
"I been watchin" these Schultzes fer nearly a year," said he, "an" the whole caboodle of "em are spies."
They turned the corner. Susie and her companion were on the point of disappearing in a doorway fifty yards down Sickle Street.
Anderson slowed up. He removed his broad felt hat with the gold cord around it, and mopped his forehead.
"That"s the tin-type gallery," he said, a little out of breath.
"Worse an" more of it," said Alf. "That"s the surest sign I know of. It never fails. Mollie an" me had our"n taken the day before we was married an"--an"--why, it"s almost the same as a certificat", Anderson."
"Now, you move on, Alf," commanded the marshal. "How many times I got to tell you not to loiter aroun" the streets? Move on, I say."
"Aw, now, Anderson--"
"I"ll have to run you in, Alf. The ord"nance is very p"ticular, an" that notice stuck up on the telephone pole over there means you more"n anybody else. No loiterin"."
"If you need any evidence ag"in that Schultz boy, just call on me," said Alf generously. "I seen him commit an atrocity last week."
"What was it?"
"He give that little Griggs girl a lift in his butcher wagon," said Alf darkly.
Anderson scowled. "The sooner we run these cussed Germans out o" town the better off we"ll be."
Alf ambled off, casting many glances over his shoulder, and the marshal crossed the street and entered Hawkins"s Undertaking and Embalming establishment, from a window of which he had a fair view of the "studio."
Presently Susie and young Schultz emerged, giggling and snickering over the pink objects they held in their hands. They sauntered slowly, shoulder to shoulder, in the direction of Main Street.
Mr. Hawkins was in the middle of one of his funniest stories when Anderson got up and walked out hurriedly. The undertaker had a reputation as a wit. He was the life of the community. He radiated optimism, even when most depressingly employed. And here he was telling Anderson Crow a brand-new story he had heard at a funeral over in Kirkville, when up jumps his listener and "lights out" without so much as a word. Mr. Hawkins went to the door and looked out, expecting to see a fight or a runaway horse or a German airplane. All he saw was the marshal not two doors away, peering intently into a show-window, while from across the street two young people regarded him with visible amus.e.m.e.nt. For a long time thereafter the undertaker sat in his office and stared moodily at the row of caskets lining the opposite wall. Could it be possible that he was losing his grip?
Miss Crow and Mr. Otto Schultz resumed their stroll after a few moments, and the marshal, following their movements in the reflecting show-window, waited until they were safely around the corner. Then he retraced his steps quickly, pa.s.sed the undertaker"s place, and turned into the alley beyond. Three minutes later, he entered Main Street a block above Sickle Street, and was leaning carelessly against the Indian tobacco sign in front of Jackson"s cigar store, when his daughter and her companion bore down upon his left flank.
Mr. Alf Reesling was a few paces behind them.
As they came within earshot, young Schultz was saying in a suspiciously earnest manner:
"You better come in and have anodder sody, Susie."
Just then their gaze fell upon Mr. Crow.
"Goodness!" exclaimed Susie, startled.
"By cheminy!" fell from Otto"s wide-open mouth. He blinked a couple of times. "Is--is that you?" he inquired, incredulously.
"You mean _me_?" asked Anderson, with considerable asperity.
"Sure," said Otto, halting.
"Can"t you see it"s me?" demanded Mr. Crow.
"But you ain"d here," said the perplexed young man, getting pinker all the time. "You"re aroundt in Sickle Street."
"Alf!" called out Anderson. "Look here a minute. Is this me?" He spoke with biting sarcasm.
Mr. Reesling regarded him with some anxiety.
"You better go home, Anderson," he said. "This sun is a derned sight hotter"n you think."