CHAPTER 2.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? With that foreign prince still?" She knew every detail of his existence. He was going to say that he had been up all night and had dropped asleep, but looking at her thrilled and rapturous face, he was ashamed. He said he had had to go to report on the prince"s departure. With that foreign prince still?" She knew every detail of his existence. He was going to say that he had been up all night and had dropped asleep, but looking at her thrilled and rapturous face, he was ashamed. He said he had had to go to report on the prince"s departure.
"But it"s over now? He is gone?"
"Thank G.o.d it"s over! You wouldn"t believe how insufferable it"s been for me."
"Why so? Isn"t it the life all of you, all young men, always lead?" she said, knitting her brows, taking up the end of a length of the crochet yarn slowly spooling from a giant ball in Android Karenina"s torso. She began drawing the hook out of it, without looking at Vronsky.
"I gave that life up long ago," he said, wondering at the change in her face, and trying to divine its meaning. "And I confess," he said, with a smile, showing his thick, white teeth, "this week I"ve been, as it were, looking at myself in a gla.s.s, seeing that life-the endless Flickerfly, the metal-flesh, and all-and I didn"t like it."
She held the work in her hands, but did not crochet, and looked at him with strange, shining, and hostile eyes.
"How disgusting you are, you men! How is it you can"t understand that a woman can never forget that," she said, getting more and more angry, and so letting him see the cause of her irritation. "Especially a woman who cannot know your life? What do I know? What have I ever known?" she asked. "What you tell me. And how do I know whether you tell me the truth?"
"Anna, you hurt me. Don"t you trust me? Haven"t I told you that I haven"t a thought I wouldn"t lay bare to you?"
"Yes, yes," she said, evidently trying to suppress her jealous thoughts. "But if only you knew how wretched I am! I believe you, I believe you. . . . What were you saying?"
Vronsky could not at once recall what he had been going to say. These fits of jealousy, which of late had been more and more frequent with her, horrified him, and, however much he tried to disguise the fact, made him feel cold toward her, although he knew the cause of her jealousy was her love for him. How often he had told himself that her love was happiness; and now she loved him as a woman can love when love has outweighed for her all the good things of life-and he was much further from happiness than when he had followed her from Moscow. Then he had thought himself unhappy, but happiness was before him; now he felt that the best happiness was already left behind. She was utterly unlike what she had been when he first saw her. Both morally and physically she had changed for the worse. He looked at her as a man looks at a faded flower he has gathered, with difficulty recognizing in it the beauty for which he picked and ruined it. And in spite of this, he felt that then, when his love was stronger, he could, if he had greatly wished it, have torn that love out of his heart; but now, when it seemed to him he felt no love for her, he knew that what bound him to her could not be broken.
She turned away from him, and rapidly, with the help of her forefinger, began working loop after loop of the wool that was dazzling white in the lamplight, while the slender wrist moved swiftly, nervously in the embroidered cuff. The soft machine hum of the yarn"s rapid unspooling filled the silence.
"I don"t understand your husband in the least," said Vronsky. "He toys with us, literally toys; if he has the power to destroy me with a glance, why not employ that power? How can he put up with our unsettled position? He feels it, that"s evident."
"He?" she said sneeringly. "He"s perfectly satisfied."
"What are we all miserable for, when everything might be so happy?"
"Only he is not happy. Don"t I know him, the falsity in which he"s utterly steeped? He"s not a man, not a human being-he"s a machine. At least, and you must understand me, Alexei, because I mean it sincerely: There is some struggle within him between the man and the machine. For now at least the human part of him still lives and thrives, and it is that and nothing else that prevents him from destroying you and me together. Oh, if I"d been in his place, I"d long ago have killed, have torn to pieces a wife like me. He doesn"t understand that I"m your wife, that he"s outside, that he"s superfluous. . . . Don"t let"s talk of him!"
"You"re unfair, very unfair, dearest," said Vronsky, trying to soothe her. "But never mind, don"t let"s talk of him. Tell me what you"ve been doing? What is the matter? What has been wrong with you, and what did the doctor say?"
She looked at him with mocking amus.e.m.e.nt. Evidently she had hit on other absurd and grotesque aspects of her husband and was awaiting the moment to give expression to them.
But he went on: "I imagine that it"s not illness, but your condition. When will it be?"
The ironical light died away in her eyes, but a different smile, a consciousness of something, he did not know what, and of quiet melancholy, came over her face. Android Karenina buzzed swiftly and silently to a side table and poured her a gla.s.s of cool water.
"You say that our position is miserable," Anna said, "That we must put an end to it. If you knew how terrible it is to me, what I would give to be able to love you freely and boldly! I should not torture myself and torture you with my jealousy. . . . And it will come soon, but not as we expect."
And at the thought of how it would come, she seemed so pitiable to herself that tears came into her eyes, and she could not go on. She laid her hand on his sleeve.
"It won"t come as we suppose. I didn"t mean to say this to you, but you"ve made me. Soon, soon, all will be over, and we shall all, all be at peace, and suffer no more."
"I don"t understand," he said, understanding her.
"You asked when? Soon. And I shan"t live through it. Don"t interrupt me!" and she made haste to speak. "I know it; I know for certain. I shall die; and I"m very glad I shall die, and release myself and you."
Tears dropped from her eyes; Vronsky bent down over her hand and began kissing it, trying to hide his emotion, which, he knew, had no sort of grounds, though he could not control it.
"Yes, it"s better so," she said, tightly gripping his hand. "That"s the only way, the only way left to us."
In the melancholy stillness that followed, Lupo suddenly jumped to his feet, his hyper-attuned sensors mistaking some distant twig crack or carriage rumble for the sound of Karenin"s returning footfalls.
Vronsky recovered himself, and lifted his head. "How absurd! What absurd nonsense you are talking!"
"No, it"s the truth."
"What, what"s the truth?"
"That I shall die. I have-I have had a dream."
"A dream?" repeated Vronsky, recalling the quasi-Memories which had confronted him on Lupo"s monitor earlier in the day.
"Yes, a dream," she said. "It"s a long while since I dreamed it. I dreamed that I ran into my bedroom, that I had to get something there, to find out something; you know how it is in dreams," she said, her eyes filling with horror. "And in the bedroom, the corner, stood something."
"Oh, what nonsense! How can you believe . . ."
But she would not let him interrupt her. What she was saying was too important to her. "And the something turned round, and I saw it was a man with a disheveled beard, in some sort of dirty white coat, little, and dreadful looking. I wanted to run away, but he bent down over the sack, and was fumbling there with his hands. . . ."
She showed how he had moved his hands. There was terror in her face. And Vronsky felt the same terror filling his soul.
"He was fumbling and kept talking quickly, quickly in French, you know: Il faut le battre, le groznium, le brayer, le petrir Il faut le battre, le groznium, le brayer, le petrir. . . . And in my horror I try to wake up, and wake up . . . but wake up still in the dream. And I began asking myself what it meant. And it is Android Karenina, who in reality never speaks, it is she who answers me: "In childbirth you"ll die, mistress, you"ll die. . . "In childbirth you"ll die, mistress, you"ll die. . ." And I woke up."
"What nonsense, what nonsense!" said Vronsky; but he felt that there was no conviction in his voice. He risked a glance at Android Karenina, the real one, standing in the room with them, to see her reaction to what her mistress had just revealed. But something in her eyebank"s expression, in the tilt of her head unit, spoke to her anguish at having been, even in a dream, a source of pain to her beloved mistress.
"But don"t let"s talk of it," Anna said. "Let"s have tea, stay a little now; it"s not long I shall-"
But all at once she stopped. The expression of her face instantaneously changed. On her face was a look of soft, solemn, blissful attention. He could not comprehend the meaning of the change. She was listening to the stirring of the new life within her.
CHAPTER 3.
ALEXEI ALEXANDROVICH, after meeting Vronsky on his own steps, drove, as he had intended, to the Vox Fourteen. He sat through two acts there, and saw everyone he had wanted to see. On returning home, he carefully scrutinized the hat stand, and noticing that there was not a military overcoat there, he went, as usual, to his own room. But, contrary to his usual habit; he did not go to bed; he walked up and down his study till three o"clock in the morning.
The feeling of furious anger with his wife, who would not observe the proprieties and keep to the one stipulation he had laid on her, not to receive her lover in her own home, gave him no peace.
YOU COULD HAVE SLAIN HIM SO EASILY.
COULD HAVE LEFT HIM IN A SHATTERED HEAP IN THE FRONT HALLWAY.
Alexei tried to argue with the furious anger of the Face. "Such an extreme measure, driven out of personal pa.s.sion, would gain so little and risk so much."
YOU ARE TOO TIMID. A SIMPLE BLOW TO THE HEAD . . .
"No!"
A RAPID CONSTRICTION OF THE WINDPIPE . . .
"For G.o.d"s sake, no!"
This internal dissension-perfectly sensible to Alexei Alexandrovich, who could hear the voice in his head as clearly as that of any other person, but no different to an outside observer than the ravings of a madman-continued into the late hours of the night. She had not complied with his request, and he was bound to punish her and carry out his threat: obtain a divorce and take away his son. He knew all the difficulties connected with this course, but he had said he would do it, and now he must carry out his threat.
OR YOU COULD SIMPLY- "No! That I cannot do! Now I bid you be silent!"
He did not sleep the whole night, and his fury, growing in a sort of vast, arithmetical progression, reached its highest limits in the morning. He dressed in haste, and as though carrying his cup full of wrath, and fearing to spill any over, fearing to lose with his wrath the energy necessary for the interview with his wife, he went into her room as soon as he heard she was up.
Anna, who had thought she knew her husband so well, was amazed at the violence of his arrival. Lying still in her bedclothes, she flung up her hand before her eyes as the door flew inward off its hinges and smashed into splinters on the ground.
His brow was lowering, and his telescopic eye zoomed toward her, scanning every inch of her body-except her eyes, scrupulously he avoided her eyes; his mouth was tightly and contemptuously shut. In his walk, in his gestures, in the sound of his voice there was a determination and firmness such as his wife had never seen in him.
"What do you want?" she cried, leaping from the bed.
"Sit down! Sit!" he commanded. Amazed and intimidated, she gazed at him in silence.
"I told you that I would not allow you to receive your lover in this house."
"I had to see him to . . ."
She stopped, not finding a reason. Words poured into Alexei Alexandrovich"s mind: DO IT SAY IT DO IT SAY IT.
"I do not enter into the details of why a woman wants to see her lover."
YOU WASTE WORDS YOU WASTE TIME DO IT SAY IT.
"I meant, I only . . . ," she said, flushing hotly. This coa.r.s.eness of his angered her, and gave her courage. "Surely you must feel how easy it is for you to insult me?" she said.
"An honest man and an honest woman may be insulted, but to tell a thief he"s a thief is simply la constatation d"un fait." la constatation d"un fait."
"This cruelty is something new I did not know in you."
"There is much of me you do not know. There are facets of my life, of my being, let alone of the being of this world, this universe, that you cannot understand, and secrets that if I revealed them to you would seal your destruction."
His cruelty was overtaking him; with every moment it was overwhelming him, rising up in his blood like a fever. The Face sang out in his mind: IMPLORE CONTROL INSULT INSIST OVERMASTER.
With a physical effort he calmed himself, strove to regain himself, to speak with his own voice and with words chosen from his own mind. "You call it cruelty for a husband to give his wife liberty and the honorable protection of his name, simply on the condition of observing the proprieties: is that cruelty?"
"It"s worse than cruel-it"s base, if you want to know!" Anna cried in a rush of hatred, and rose to leave.
"No!" he shrieked, in his shrill voice, which pitched a note higher than usual even, and at once she felt what Vronsky had felt in the hallway: her body frozen and then s.n.a.t.c.hed up like a poppet in the hand of a child, tossed in the air and slammed into the ceiling, helpless, pressure squeezing upon her throat, the breath choked out of her. Her husband stared up at her where she flailed in the air, a fish on a hook.
"Base! If you care to use that word, what is base is to forsake husband and child for a lover, while you eat your husband"s bread!"
He stared up at her, his oculus telescoping forward ominously, click by click, and she felt the whole of her body forced flatter against the ceiling. She had to argue her case, make him feel her, her humanity, or this was the end-he would destroy her.
"NO!" HE SHRIEKED, AND ANNA FELT HER BODY SLAMMED INTO THE CEILING, PRESSURE SQUEEZING UPON HER THROAT "You cannot describe my position as worse than I feel it to be myself," she cried out desperately. "Alexei . . .
"I beg of you, Alexei . . .
"Alexei . . ."
"Ah!" he shouted finally, and released his mental hold. She fell, landing fortuitously-or had some breath of humanity inside him guided her there?-into her chair.
COWARD COWARD COWARD.
Anna gasped for breath in the chair, each swallow of air as delicious as the finest wine. She did not say what she had said the evening before to her lover, that he he was her husband, and her husband was superfluous; she did not even think that. She felt glad to be alive, and in that state she could not help but feel all the justice of his words. She sat in silence as he continued. was her husband, and her husband was superfluous; she did not even think that. She felt glad to be alive, and in that state she could not help but feel all the justice of his words. She sat in silence as he continued.
"You may know that since you have not carried out my wishes in regard to observing outward decorum, I will take measures to put an end to this state of things."
"Soon, very soon, it will end, anyway," she said.
"It will end sooner than you and your lover have planned! If you must have the satisfaction of animal pa.s.sion . . ."
"Alexei Alexandrovich! I won"t say it"s not generous, but it"s not like a gentleman to strike anyone who"s down."
"Yes, you only think of yourself! But the sufferings of a man who was your husband have no interest for you. You don"t care that his whole life is ruined, that he is thuff. . . thuff. . ."
Alexei Alexandrovich was speaking so quickly that he stammered, and was utterly unable to articulate the word "suffering."
DONKEY!.
IF YOU CANNOT DESTROY, AT LEAST SUMMON THE COURAGE TO SPEAK PLAINLY, YOU FOOL-YOU FAKE-YOU- In a paroxysm of anger and exasperation, Alexei Alexandrovich clutched at his Face, trying in vain to tear it from him, to rip free the millions of tiny neural junctures that connected the Face"s circuits to his own cell walls. Anna watched in horrified fascination as her husband, screaming with the full force of his lungs, turned in haphazard circles about the room, wrenching at the cruel metal mask. Though she did not, could not, understand what had overtaken him, for the first time, for an instant, she felt for him, put herself in his place, and was sorry for him. But what could she say or do? Her head sank, and she sat silent. He too was silent for some time, and then began speaking in a frigid, less shrill voice, emphasizing random words that had no special significance.
At last he gave up, collapsed in a woeful heap in the opposite corner of the room.
"I came to tell you . . . ," he said at last, softly and slowly. . . .
She glanced at him. No, to feel sorry for him, it was my fancy No, to feel sorry for him, it was my fancy, she thought, recalling the expression of his face when he stumbled over the word "suffering." No, can a man with those dull eyes, with that self-satisfied complacency, feel anything? No, can a man with those dull eyes, with that self-satisfied complacency, feel anything?
"I cannot change anything," she whispered.
"I have come to tell you that I am going tomorrow to Moscow, and shall not return again to this house, and you will receive notice of what I decide through the lawyer into whose hands I shall entrust the task of getting a divorce. My son is going to my sister"s," said Alexei Alexandrovich, with an effort recalling what he had meant to say about his son.
"You take Seryozha to hurt me," she said, looking at him from under her brows. "You do not love him. . . . Leave me Seryozha!"