And then for half an hour, his writer"s mind insisted on working over and over that detestable conversation between _Marna_ and her father, and changing it a little, just a little touch here and there, to make it fit smoothly upon Mrs. Wing and Mary....
"I tell you," said the lonely authority, suddenly, bringing his fist down on the table with a thump,--"this whole Movement"s a failure if it lessens _woman"s lovableness_! I tell you the whole object of this Movement is to make women _more lovable_!"
For he, of course, had never thought--like the author of "Marna" for example--that pa.s.sionate love was the only sort of love worth mentioning. In that narrow sense, in her sufficiently cheap faculty for stirring the senses of men, it was clear that woman, whatever she did or left undone, would always remain "lovable." But as to love in broad and human terms--well (to keep the subject wholly impersonal); could any one in his senses call _Marna_ a lovable being? No, her creator, in his determination to show how strong and "free" she was, had quite unconsciously made her a harsh and vain self-worshiper, revolting to decent persons. Had he, as we might say, thus inadvertently given the whole thing away? Was it finally true that a woman could not claim and lead her Own Life, except at a heavy price--paid down in her best treasure? Was the ruthless Career-Maker but the logical other-form of the waiting, the too pursuing, Maker of Homes?
From his drawer, Charles presently pulled out the former exercise-book which had enjoyed the great rise in the world. In this book, he had written no sentence since his remembered Notes on Flora Trevenna. Now he set down with a firm hand:--
What is called the Woman"s Movement is seen, in the last a.n.a.lysis, to be only every woman"s struggle between two irreconcilable impulses in her own nature.
Having written that sentence, the young man stared at it long. To him it was like a bright beam of light, turned upon the roots of his peculiar problem. For if these two impulses were in truth irreconcilable, why need he go on struggling to reconcile them in a heroine he could unreservedly admire?
XVI
With the sun of a new noon, with the recurring need of obtaining sustenance from one"s environment, there came again the more practical problems of this weary world.
At ten minutes past one on this day, Tuesday, Charles went slipping from the house of the little Deming boys to that of the old lady who was studying French. She lived, luckily, but three doors away. She was a very lively old lady, and possessed her tutor"s high regard. But that she might represent help to him, that she could personify the tutelary G.o.d of Bachelors rushing at last to his aid, had simply never crossed his mind.
The old lady"s regular lesson-hour was, of course, two-thirty o"clock.
But, as it happened, she had had her last instruction in the French language for some time to come, it having popped into her head, and that of the old gentleman her husband, to go to Palm Beach for a three weeks"
vacation. Hence her tutor"s presence in her drawing-room at this unwonted hour seemed to be due to mere chance (though who knows?). In short, as he saw it, he had merely "stopped by" to deliver a list of irregular verbs, which the old lady was to master completely while at the Beach.
Having stopped, Charles did not start again upon the instant: far from it. Friday"s and Monday"s run of luck had not been expected to keep up indefinitely, at the best. And Donald"s blundering remark betraying his ruse had inevitably suggested the idea of experimenting a bit with opposite tactics, to wit: quietly turning his schedule backward, for variety"s sake, and starting to lunch very late. Thus it was that Charles, having said all he had to say to the old lady, lingered to say it all again, and again, clinging verbosely to his oldest living pupil as it were, while one eye shot perpetually out the front window, close beside which he had taken up his position.
For the third time, the old lady promised to be studious on her holiday.
"Don"t you remember how well I knew the plurals of the _-ou_ nouns yesterday?" said she, chipper as a boy. "Well, my husband had heard them every one to me the night before!--that was how I did it! Well, don"t you see, I"ll make him hear me the verbs every afternoon while he"s taking his nap--over and over!"
"Exactly, ma"am. Do just that. Have him hear them over and over--every afternoon. That"s the only way really to master them--the only possible way. And as I say--be sure to take along your dictionary and your Fontaine"s "Fables," and read three or four pages every day--except Sunday. I said that just now, I know. But, ma"am, it"s one of those things that--ah--can"t be said too often--"
Here the tutor"s eye, reconnoitering out the window again, fell upon a motor-car just coming to a standstill before the old lady"s door. He started, nervously. But, of course, this was not the Fordette: it was five times too big, at least.
And he said, in a quickened voice: "Whose car is that standing out there?"
"Why, mine, of course! Eustace stops for orders before going down to bring my husband up and I just sign to him out of the window if there"s nothing. Indeed I hoped you wouldn"t make me read my "Fables" while I was away, but I will if you say so, for of course I"m going to learn French. And you take care of yourself, young man. You haven"t looked well to me for several days."
"I"m not quite well, ma"am, I fear," said Charles. "I was just thinking I"d better let Eustace drive me down with him, if you don"t mind.
I--ah--scarcely feel like walking to-day."
"Of course. And have him bring you up again when he takes my husband back, why don"t you? My dear young man, I reproach myself. I"d have had him call for you at the Demings" and take you down every day, but you know you always said you loved to walk."
"I did--I used to--but--ah--I rather think I"ve been overdoing it, of late. I"ve been walking more than is good for me. Well!--thank you very much. I"ll go and get right in, shall I?"
Having wished his aged pupil a happy journey once more, Charles started toward the door, much pleased with his lucky stroke. And then, all at once, a splendid idea burst upon him, a vast and brilliant possibility.
And in exactly the same instant, he heard the chipper voice of the old lady speaking again behind him, rather thoughtfully:--
"I wish I could persuade you to use my car altogether while we"re away.... But I suppose you"d think that fearfully--fearfully _effete_!"
"WHAT?"
It must have seemed odd to her, the instantaneousness with which her tutor sprang round. And then he began to move back toward her, very slowly, round unwinking eyes glued upon her.
"Ah--_what did you say_?"
"You look astounded. I suppose you"re offended at the suggestion. Now, really--why not take my car while I"m away?" said the old lady. (What a dear, what a darling old lady she was, to be sure!) "Why are you young men so reckless with your health, breaking it down with all this foolish walking, up and down--"
"Oh, ma"am!" stammered Charles. "I--I hardly know what to say. I"m not offended in the _least_--feeling as I do at present. But I--I really--"
"Then I"ll make you do it!" she said, with the greatest energy. "I"m going to exert all my will-power--I"m chock full of it, I warn you!--and make you use the car regularly from now on, and stop this walking.
Promise me! I"ll have Eustace report to you every morning for his orders, and you are to use him as your own ..."
The tutor stood like a man entranced. Before his mind"s eye there were unrolling the most enchanting pictures: pictures of the same series that had fascinated Angela"s mind"s eye when her brother had offered her the Fordette, but of precisely the opposite intention; pictures of himself whizzing securely from point to point, here or there at his careless ease, all walking henceforth reduced to the mere hurried crossing of sidewalks....
"But I--I"m afraid it would be an imposition! I don"t deny it would be a--a pleasure--a benefit--feeling as I--"
"Then that"s settled! Imposition, nonsense! As it happens, you will be doing us a favor. Why, wasn"t my husband saying only last night that Eustace, having n.o.body at all to look after him, was certain to spend these three weeks in one long spree, and be worn to a shadow when we get back? His habits are so unfortunate, I warn you about that--"
"It"s so--_awfully_--kind of you, ma"am! I hardly know how to--"
"Not another word!--leave all the rest to me. And you really don"t look well, young man. Now, shall I have Bruce make you something,--oh, very nice,--before you start down? Oh, why, bless you, I take a julep myself whenever I feel the least bit like it!"
Then the ardor of his grat.i.tude really touched the old lady, even though it seemed excessive for her small courtesy. Later, looking out the window, to sign to Eustace, she saw that the young man was actually laughing to himself with pleasure, as he went down the front steps. She thought him a very strange young man.
He gave his machine-G.o.d standing orders, which, after all, proved simple enough. Eustace and the Big Six were to pick him up at the little Deming boys" every day at one o"clock, and drive him to lunch; Eustace and the Big Six were to call for him at Mrs. Herman"s every afternoon at half-past three, and take him to and from the Choristers". Those, positively, were the only danger-points, these the small arrangements by which peril was to be circ.u.mvented. And he had not overrated the value of his brilliant gift from fortune; the arrangements, being made, were executed with the happiest success. In the fine big limousine of the old lady (_la grande jolie limousine de la vieille_) Charles pursued his daily rounds in complete security, and he hardly saw the shadow of another meeting now.
Or rather, there was the possibility of but one more meeting; and, that scarcely seemed to matter, now that he had so clearly won back his voluntary celibacy.
At Saltman"s bookstore, he had purchased a fresh copy of the odious "Marna," and in his new kindness and good-will toward all, he finally resolved to return the book in person, and to ask for Angela at the door, to boot. Utter freedom of the city upheld his native dislike for being a mere rude boor. And by one simple venture, he could honorably liquidate all claims, pay at one stroke all the various calls demanded of him: the book-call, the party-call, and the call in acknowledgment of the Kiss.
Even if Angela should happen to be at home when he called, the isolated meeting could hardly lead to trouble. But, after all, of course, the point was to fulfill rather the letter of a call than its essential spirit. Charles thought it decidedly for the best that Angela should not be at home at the time. Thus he further procrastinated, awaiting an afternoon so sweet and balmy that every owner of a self-propelling vehicle would be morally certain to be out in it.
And then, while he so dallied about the Call, while his own days continued to reel off smooth as clockwork, a faint new cloud began to steal over his first careless happiness. Having finally saved himself, the unheroic bachelor felt his deadened consideration for others slowly and reluctantly stirring into life.
The first time he in his speedy limousine pa.s.sed captive Donald in the Fordette, Charles was even more pleased than he had been that other day, at Miss Grace"s window. By chance, he overhauled the little conveyance on the second day of the new era, as he shot away from the Choristers" at half-past four o"clock; and, captivated by the sight of the simpleton engineer in his own old place, he could not resist leaning forward as he drew abreast, knocking on the window and waving gayly to the two nice normal cousins of Mary. He saw that Angela, recognizing him, gave him one swift surprised stare. And then the old lady"s Big Six leapt by her, as the limited leaps by a tank in the night, and he sat back convulsed with a brilliant diplomat"s delights.
He, indeed, had put her on. Clearer and clearer it grew that he could beat Mary Wing at match-making, if at nothing else under the sun.... Let her look to herself!
But the second time Charles had this interesting experience--just two days later, on his drive to Berringer"s--he did not knock on the window, or laugh, or even smile. No, this time he sat still on his luxurious seat, looking straight ahead. And presently he found himself arguing, very earnestly and conscientiously, and somewhat as follows:--
While it might be true that for the moment Angela liked him best (entirely owing to the tender feelings aroused by the Kiss) no one could deny that a match between her and Donald would be a far more suitable thing. In fact, such a match would really be very suitable, indeed, whatever cold-blooded eugenists like Mary Wing might think. Talk as you liked, Donald was not at all the man to be happy with a girl who firmly and continually "made a fellow use his cocoa." On the contrary, Donald was the mere simple, primitive male who wanted a woman that he could "protect," feel superior to and be coddled and attended by. And any fair-minded person must admit that Angela, whatever little faults or foibles she might seem to have, was precisely this sort of girl. Harsh nonsense about her Sacred Duty to the Race was not in her.
Did she, indeed, have any faults--real faults of character, that is?
Womanly though she was, she was no idler, no parasite like Miss Grace, for instance, but a genuine worker, accustomed to pay her own way by the practice of a highly specialized and difficult business. This business, at best, was a monotonous and grinding one; she herself was a stranger, poor and lonely. Was it so wicked, then, that in her leisure-hour she should wish to drive out occasionally, and meet her young friends?