"Soledad scouted for her, maybe," he said.
I nodded. "Right, right."
Nathaniel came up to us, alone. I asked, "Where did Zerbrowski go?"
"I got him talking about the party at his house. I asked what food his wife wanted us to bring. I think he"s more worried about you bringing us both to the party than he admits, because it distracted him from your super-secret phone call. What"s really happening?"
I told him. "I"m afraid no matter what cops I send in, she"ll mind-f.u.c.k them. It"s so subtle, she just emphasizes what you"re already feeling. It seems not to activate the holy items."
"Because she"s not adding anything," Nathaniel said.
"What?" I asked; we all looked at him.
"She"s not putting power into you, she"s giving more power to what"s already inside you. Maybe that"s why the holy objects don"t go off?"
I smiled at him. "When did you get so smart?"
He shrugged, but looked pleased.
"What if we call out Mobile Reserve and she f.u.c.ks their minds? I can"t guarantee that she won"t turn them against each other, or more likely the congregation, and once I call them, they sort of take over. I"ll lose control of the situation."
"I"m not sure you have control of the situation now," Micah said.
"Thanks," I said.
He touched my shoulder, gently. "Anita, what you"re really trying to decide is, is it the police you need to be backup, or is it Jean-Claude"s vampires and our shapeshifters?" I nodded. "You"re right, you are exactly right. That is what I"m trying to decide." "Won"t Zerbrowski and the rest of the uniforms suspect something when you run out of here?" Nathaniel asked.
"I have nearly total discretion on how any warrant of execution is served. I don"t have to include any other police. But the Harlequin have fixed it so that the warrant really isn"t in effect here."
"It"s a shame you can"t deputize civilians, like in the old movies," Nathaniel said. I had the grace to look embarra.s.sed. "I was sort of disappointed I couldn"t do that, too. It would have been so d.a.m.n convenient."
"Whatever you are going to do, it has to be done now," Micah said.
I felt paralyzed. I couldn"t decide. It wasn"t like me in an emergency. I stepped away from both of them so they weren"t touching me. I took a deep calming breath, and another. All I could think about was how I"d almost gotten Peter killed. He might be a lycanthrope, at sixteen. Would I get Malcolm killed? I didn"t want to risk anyone else. I couldn"t bear the thought of Zerbrowski dead and having to face his family. I couldn"t. . .
Hands grabbed me, and I was suddenly staring up into Nathaniel"s face. "I can feel it," he said. "She"s shoving doubt into you." His hands gripped my arms tight, his face was so intense. I was suddenly filled with certainty. A certainty built of unshakable faith. He believed in me. He believed in me utterly and completely. I tried to be frightened that anyone would believe so perfectly in me, but the fear could not last on the tide of his belief. He simply knew that I would do what was right. He knew that I would save Malcolm. He knew that I would punish the bad and save the good. He simply believed. It was one of the most comforting things I"d ever felt. There was a small part of me that screamed in the background, His faith isn"t in G.o.d, it"s in you. Again, I tried to be afraid, or struggle against it, but I couldn"t. I felt his certainty, and there was no room for doubt in it.
I stared up at him and smiled. "Thank you," I said.
He gave me that smile, the one that he might have had if his life had been gentler. It was a smile that he"d only found in the last few months. I"d helped him find that smile. Me, and Micah.
Micah came to stand close to us but made no move to touch. "The power is coming off you in waves. It feels similar to what happens when you touch Damian, sometimes."
I nodded and looked back at Nathaniel. I"d never wondered what I"d gained from Nathaniel being my animal to call. Damian, as my vampire servant, gave me his control, honed over centuries of being at the mercy of one of the most s.a.d.i.s.tic vampire masters I"d ever heard of, which was saying something pretty terrible. I"d never thought to ask what Jean-Claude gained from Richard. From me, a certain ruthlessness; we sort of doubled our natural practicality. When we"d all survived tonight, I"d ask what he gained from Richard. But in that moment, I simply kissed the man in my arms. Kissed him not for l.u.s.t, though that was always there, but because no one else could have made me believe in myself.
CHAPTER 41
I THOUGHT I"D have trouble ditching the police, but no one wanted to play with me. I got nervous glances from some of them, or ignored, or even downright hostile stares. No one questioned where I was going with Micah and Nathaniel. None of the officers were ones that I knew well, but it was still unnerving. Helpful, in that moment, but it didn"t bode well for future police work.
"They think you"re one of us," Micah whispered.
"And it makes that much difference to them?" I said.
"Apparently, yes," he said.
Nathaniel hugged me one-armed as we walked past the people who had come here because a cop had been hurt. They"d come because I was one of them. The looks on their faces said, clearly, that I wasn"t one of them anymore. Did it hurt my feelings? Yeah, it did. But I"d worry about my reputation later; right now there was a fight to finish.
I realized I was about to walk out without the only police backup I"d be taking: Edward and, oddly, Olaf. I didn"t want to be in a car with Olaf. The s.p.a.ce was too small to share with him. As if I"d thought too hard about him, he walked through the doors of the exit. Edward was right behind him, but for a moment Olaf looked at me. For a moment I saw his eyes bare, no hiding. The look in his eyes, on his face, stopped my breath in my throat. There were so many things to be afraid of tonight, but in that instant I was afraid of Olaf, truly and completely afraid.
Micah started to step in front of me, doing that guy-protection thing. With almost anyone else, I"d have let him do it, but not for Olaf. I moved so that Micah was beside me, where he"d started. I stepped out in front of both my men, so that the only target for Olafs eyes was me. Me, he liked; he didn"t like my boyfriends. They were just in his way. Call it a hunch, but I was betting that people who were just in Olaf"s way didn"t last long.
His eyes changed from that look that would haunt me to something that was almost, almost, admiration. In some strange way I understood him better than most. Edward understood him, too. It should have worried both of us that we understood someone like Olaf.
Edward hurried to get ahead of the bigger man. He was talking as he walked. "I think you need to get out there and rescue your friend from the lieutenant."
"What friend?"
"Graham," he said, and Edward"s eyes melted around the edges, showing me the anger that was underneath. Anger about Peter, anger about Olaf, anger about what? I couldn"t ask, and when I got a chance later, he"d probably lie anyway.
Edward took my arm, something he had never done that I could re member. He took me by the elbow like I was a girl and needed to be led. I might have protested, except I caught sight of Olaf"s face. He watched Edward touch me, touch me like I was a girl, which he"d never seen before, because it wasn"t how Edward touched me, ever. I was a lot of things to Edward, but I was never a girl. Edward led me past the looming presence of Olaf. Micah and Nathaniel trailed us. Olaf watched us with a considering look on his face. I was through the doors and into the cold of the parking lot beyond before I realized that Edward had done what I wouldn"t let Micah do: he"d protected me, put himself between me and Olaf. It hadn"t been as obvious as Micah"s attempt, but I didn"t pull free of Edward even after I figured it out. Of all the men I knew, Edward could handle himself, even against giant-sized serial killers.
Graham was a big guy, knew it, liked it. But standing beside Dolph, he looked small. It made me wonder for a second how tiny I must look standing beside Dolph. Edward let go of my elbow as we got to the argument. It wasn"t quite a fight, yet, but it had the feel of some thing that might turn into one. We didn"t have time for this s.h.i.t. Jean-Claude and his vampires were on their way to the church. We had to go.
"Since when does a federal marshal need a bodyguard?" Dolph asked, his voice deepening with anger. His big hands were already curled into fists.
The energy of Graham"s beast was trailing the air like tiny, searching hands. Pats and tickles of energy touched my skin. Nathaniel shivered beside me. Micah would control it better, but he"d feel it, too. The fact that it was only small touches of power meant Graham was really fighting to control himself. I wasn"t so sure the same could be said of Dolph.
Edward let me walk a little ahead of everyone so that I stood just out of reach, but close enough to be heard by Dolph and Graham.
"Hey, Dolph, I"ll take Graham off your hands."
Dolph gave me a glance, but didn"t seem to want to look away from the man in front of him. I"d seen him try to pick a fight once with Jason. It hadn"t worked, because Jason didn"t get upset that easily. Graham did.
Detective Smith walked up beside me. He was rubbing his arms, as if he were cold. It was December, but it wasn"t that kind of cold. Smith was psychically gifted, no specific ability that I knew of, but he sensed lycanthropes and other otherworldly stuff. Standing out here with an arguing werewolf had probably not been comfy for him, but Smith was a good sport.
"Lieutenant, I think Marshal Blake is leaving. She"ll take her guard with her, and that way you won"t have to worry about what he"s doing here." Smith made his voice light, trying to sound harmless. He was pretty good at harmless, not much taller than me, blond hair, young for his age. He was the newest detective on the squad. Where was Zerbrowski? He was the best at managing Dolph"s moods.
"I want to know why a federal marshal needs a bodyguard," Dolph said through gritted teeth.
Graham looked at me. The look said, What do I say?
Unless I was willing to fess up to being Jean-Claude"s human servant or Richard"s lupa, I didn"t know what to say. I seldom lie well if I don"t see the lie coming a long way off.
Micah stepped into the charged silence. "It"s my fault, Lieutenant. I love her, and she almost died. I"m sorry if my hiring Graham to be by her side upset you, but I know you"re married. I"m sure you under stand how frightened I was when I saw her lying in that bed." Some times I forgot how smoothly Micah could lie. Of course, the only real lie in the mix was that he had hired Graham personally. The rest was probably true.
"You aren"t married to Anita."
"Micah"s been living with me for seven months."
"Talk to me when you"ve made a year," he said.
"You were always onto me to find a steady boyfriend who had a pulse. I found one, so now what"s your problem?" "When did humans stop being good enough for you, Anita?" I shook my head and made a push-away gesture. "I"m not having this fight tonight, Dolph. Come on, Graham, let"s go." We went. Dolph didn"t have any reason to hold us, except his hatred of the monsters. But being hated isn"t against the law. Good to know.
CHAPTER 42
EDWARD DROVE INTO the parking lot of the Church of Eternal Life, with Olaf riding beside him. I"d opted to sit in the middle seat with Micah and Nathaniel. Graham was in the back by himself. Edward hadn"t even questioned why I let Olaf ride shotgun. I think he didn"t want to watch Olaf stare at me either. It takes a lot to creep out Ed ward, but whatever Olaf had done while I was cut open had done it.
The parking lot was so full that we had to park illegally, close to the small green area with its benches and growing trees. In the December cold it was a bleak little s.p.a.ce, or maybe my reaction was partly that the last time I"d stepped on the church"s gra.s.s I"d shot a vampire to death with a handgun. It takes longer with a handgun. They tend to squirm and cry. Not one of my best memories. I shivered in the short leather jacket that Nathaniel had brought for me. The jacket would have been warmer if I"d been willing to zip it up, but I wanted to be able to get to my weapons more than I wanted to be warm.
You could tell who was carrying weapons by whose coat was flap ping open in the winter cold. Nathaniel was zipped tight, but he"d continued his matching theme with his short leather jacket, so we still looked like we were going to a Goth club prom. The disturbing part was that Olaf matched us: black on black, leather jacket, boots.
Nathaniel had zipped up, Olaf hadn"t. Micah had belted his lined trench coat. Graham"s leather was fastened tight, too.
The church rose above us white and bare. The lack of decoration always made the church seem unfinished to me. No holy objects al lowed when most of your congregation are vampires.
We walked up those wide, white steps to the double doors. Graham insisted on opening the doors for us. I didn"t have patience to argue, and I was pretty certain Edward didn"t argue because he knew cannon fodder when he saw it. He was hard-to-kill cannon fodder, but Graham wasn"t armed, and I wasn"t in love with him. From Edward"s point of view it changed how he would treat him. Truthfully, me, too. I wanted everyone to come out alive tonight, but if it came to choices, who you loved counted. If you"re not willing to admit that out loud in side your own head, then you should stay out of firefights and keep your family at home. Be honest, who would you save? Who would you sacrifice? We let Graham swing wide those double doors. He didn"t even try to take cover. He stood framed in the light, his body dark with that nimbus of brightness around it. He turned back to me with a smile, as if he"d done a good thing. I said a prayer that Graham didn"t get himself killed tonight. Yeah, we were supposed to be doing meta physical battle, no weapons, but there were ways to kill with meta physics. I"d seen it done. h.e.l.l, I"d done it a time or two. Illegal, that, if it"s a human that dies. I won"t tell if you won"t.
Nathaniel reached for my left hand. He was warm, warmer than he should have been, fever warm, but there was no sweat on his palm. It wasn"t nerves. It was power. It climbed up my arm, across my body in a wave of heat that made my skin dance in goose b.u.mps. I made a small stumble on the steps. Micah grabbed my arm. He meant it to be helpful, but the power leapt from me to him. And it wasn"t a power meant for him. Damian was meant to be on the other side of me for this. He was meant to cool this fire, but Micah"s was never a magic that cooled me down. The power found the only thing it could recognize. It found his beast. I could actually see his leopard roaring up inside him like a black flame, roaring to life, spilling upward inside him. Micah could control it, but the velvet pouring of his beast brought mine. I was caught between two wereleopards. There was no other animal to distract my beasts.
I almost screamed it. "Not now!"
Olafs deep voice said, "What is that?" I didn"t have time to look around and see if there was something else coming. Edward would take care of it. I believed that.
Micah managed to tear himself away from my arm. He went to his knees on the steps, as if he were having more trouble than normal con trolling his own beast. It wasn"t close to fall moon. It shouldn"t have been such an effort.
Graham was coming toward us. He was coming in a blur of speed, but my leopard was rising faster. It was tearing its way up through my body. I needed to cool this heat. I almost reached for Jean-Claude. He was vampire. He was the chill of the grave, but he never affected me that way. He was always pa.s.sion to me. I needed to think. I reached for my other vampire. I reached out to Damian. I reached out with desperation. I screamed in my head, Save me, save us, kill this heat.
I felt him stagger when my call hit him. I knew someone grabbed his arm to keep him from falling. But my power hit him, and he gave me what I demanded. He gave me that coolness. That utter control that he had learned in years of servitude to the master that created him. He gave me the control that had helped him survive, and betray nothing by thought, word, deed, or glance. He gave me that control in a sweep of cold, steely willpower.
The visual in my head was of my leopard finding a metal wall in her path. She snarled at it and reacted like any self-respecting leopard would if a giant wall suddenly appeared in the forest path. She ran. The leopard ran back the way she had come, to hide in that empty, full, dark place where all the beasts seemed to wait inside me. It was like the blackness of s.p.a.ce before the light found it, except it was inside me somewhere. I don"t explain the show, sometimes I just watch it.
A woman"s voice, halfsinging, beautiful and pure and strangely joyous, spoke from inside the open doors. "Let it begin at last, our con test, Jean-Claude. Your servant has struck the first blow."
I yelled, "It was an accident." But it was too late. I had done meta physics. Either she didn"t realize how little control I had over some of my powers, or she was using it as an excuse to start the fight. Either way, s.h.i.t.
Graham offered me his hand, and I took it. He dragged me and Nathaniel up off the steps. His hand in mine was just a hand, just warmth. Maybe he wasn"t armed, and maybe he didn"t understand how to take cover, but in that moment no one else with us could have dragged me to my feet without complicating things. I looked up and found Edward with his hand on Olafs stomach, or lower chest. Olaf would have helped me off the steps, and Edward had stopped it. He looked at me, and the look was enough. They weren"t psychic enough to tell the difference between beasts rising and the ardeur rising, not in its early stages. Edward didn"t want to have it spread to him, and he was going to make certain it didn"t spread to Olaf. I pushed the thought away, into that crowded cage that all the other thoughts had gone into for the last few days and hours. Think about it later. We were running up the steps. Graham had my right hand, but we weren"t sup posed to be pulling guns tonight, right?
CHAPTER 43
FACES TURNED TO us as we stumbled through the door. There was no vestibule, so the three of us were just suddenly in view of the crowd. Nathaniel and I were breathing as if we"d run a mile. Only Graham was calm at my side. Edward and Olaf fanned out to either side of us. Micah moved wide around us all. Was he still fighting off his beast? I trusted him to handle it. I had to trust him, because there were things happening that I didn"t trust anyone else to handle.
The area behind the pulpit had become a stage. There were three people on stage in masks. What could only be Columbine and Giovanni were to the left. She was elegant in a skintight version of the Harlequin"s motley, all red, blue, white, black, and gold with a short half skirt to pretend at modesty. A gold tricorn hat had multicolored b.a.l.l.s to echo the colors of the rest. Her mask left a white chin and crimson mouth bare. The man beside her was much taller than she was, dressed in a white masklike the one they"d sent us in the first box. His face was an empty blankness trapped in the black hooded cloak that covered him to his ankles. A black tricorn hat completed the out fit. They stood in a contrast of bright and dark, color and not.
The third masked figure was on our side of the stage, standing be side Jean-Claude and his vampires. Damian and Malcolm were close at his side, behind Asher. But the last masked figure wasn"t a vampire.
He looked more like he was about to do bondage than go to Carnival.
The mask was leather and hid most of the face, covering even the back of the head, a hood instead of a mask. It was the broad shoulders framed by the leather vest, and the slightly paler version of his summer tan, that let me know it was Richard. He"d come to stand at Jean- Claude"s side after all. Jake and some of the other bodyguard werewolves stood behind him.
Asher stood on the other side of Jean-Claude, his hair catching the lights like spun gold. Remus and a handful of other werehyenas stood behind him. Most of Jean-Claude"s vampires were scattered around the stage. But Elinore and a few others weren"t there because Jean-Claude had made them stay away. If we died tonight and managed to take the Harlequin with us, he trusted Elinore to rebuild the city"s vampires. Truth and Wicked were there, along with Haven and his werelions. Rafael and his wererats were there, on the stage. There was an ocean of wereanimals around our side of the stage. The two Harlequin looked so outnumbered. Part of me was sad that it wasn"t going to be a stand-up fight. It looked like we might win that kind of fight. Of course, the Harlequin standing in the church had scouted us; they knew our resources. Maybe there was more than one reason they"d offered a metaphysical fight instead of a physical one.
My pulse had started to slow. We started up the aisle, Graham a little ahead of us all, Nathaniel and I still hand in hand. Micah was still giving us room. I"d have loved to touch him, but he was right. We didn"t need another visit from our leopards. Edward and Olaf brought up the rear. I thought we"d get to the stage. I thought I"d get to touch Jean-Claude, and Damian, but Columbine thought otherwise.
Her power poured over the congregation like invisible smoke. My breath caught in my throat. I felt her power touch some of the vampires. They were choking on her power. I was choking on her power. I dropped Nathaniel"s hand and grabbed for the back of a pew. What ever was happening, I didn"t want it spreading to Nathaniel.
"Anita," he said, "what"s wrong? I feel power, but..."
I shook my head. I couldn"t talk past the feel of her power. It was al most delicate, like choking on feathers; light, airy, and deadly. Vampires were standing in the pews or falling to the floor. I fought to stand and stared at the vampire in her colored clown outfit. If something that elegant could be called a clown. I realized I wasn"t choking. It wasn"t death the power offered, but it was the end of free will. Her will was so large, so powerful, that it would be slavery. I could feel it. She would control us as surely as I could control a zombie that I had raised. Her power was something close to mine. She could control vampires, so why was it hitting me this hard?
Her power was a dainty fingertip sticking into my mind, pushing against my will. "Be mine," it whispered. "Be mine."
Nathaniel touched me. His power shivered over my skin, chasing back that cold touch. I could think again, feel again, take a deep breath again.
My own power roared to life. My necromancy, and something else, something that was necromancy, and not. I thrust that power into the delicate, coaxing touch. There was nothing delicate about what I did. I smashed into her power with a hammer, straight through that deceptive softness. Hit it, and found the steel nail underneath the lie of gentleness. It was all lies. There was nothing gentle, nothing kind. Submit, the power breathed. Be mine, I"ll take care of you, I"ll take away all your problems, be mine. I screamed down those lying words. I drowned her voice in my head in sheer power, like dynamiting a hotel because you didn"t like your room. Her power collapsed, retreated, and I was suddenly standing in the aisle when I hadn"t realized I"d moved.
I was standing with Nathaniel"s hand in mine. I could taste pulses, blood flowing sluggish in a dozen veins. Vampires turned and looked at me, because they had no choice. I"d smashed her power and re placed it with my own. The dozen vamps hadn"t fed yet tonight, so slow the beat, so sluggish the pulse. We needed food.
Nathaniel"s hand convulsed around mine, bringing me back from that thought. Had he shared it? I could suddenly smell their skin, half a dozen different perfumes, someone"s sweet shampoo, the sharp scent of cigarettes, aftershave. I could smell their skin as if I"d put my face just above their arms, their necks. Jean-Claude had kept me from drowning in the sensations of them last time I"d come to the church. Why wasn"t he helping me now? I turned to the stage and found him looking, not at me, but at Columbine and Giovanni. Something was happening. Were they talking? I couldn"t hear them. It was as if all my senses were narrowed down to scent and touch and vision.
I felt her power draw inward, like you"d take a breath before blowing out a candle. Except this candle was a few hundred vampires. That power spilled outward, and it was like water moving around the rocks of the vampires that Nathaniel and I could sense. We could save them, but the rest. . . the rest were lost.
Damian cried out, in my head, a scream. Nathaniel and I turned and found Malcolm wrapped around Damian, Malcolm"s mouth shoved into Damian"s throat. Malcolm shoved his power into the less powerful vampire, but taking his blood meant he was blood-oathing to him. It made no sense. Then the power hit us. Hit me.
It was like a door blew open inside my head. Nathaniel cried out, and I echoed him. My power, our power, blew outward over the other vampires. Malcolm had created almost every vampire in here. He had trusted no one else. Now he blood-oathed himself not to Damian, but to me. He was using his power to send mine over the rest of his flock. He was giving them all to me to keep Columbine from taking them. But I think Malcolm didn"t understand what blood-oathing to me could mean. Maybe he thought that blooding himself to me and not Jean-Claude would make it a weaker bond, but I"d never blood-oathed someone without Jean-Claude"s guidance. I only knew one way to do anything, and that was all the way.