"Just tell me. I won"t be mad."
Wicked laughed, a loud bray of sound that was nothing like the perfect masculine chuckle he usually allowed himself. "Don"t promise until you know." "I"ll know if you tell me," I said, and already there was a thread of anger in my tone. d.a.m.n it.
"Asher called Augustine in Chicago. He asked for soldiers," Wicked said.
"He let Auggie send his werelions back into our territory," I said.
Wicked and Truth nodded. Truth asked, "Do you understand what that means for St. Louis"s Rex and his pride?"
I lay in the bed and thought about it. I did know. "I sent Auggie"s lions back to Chicago in November because they would have taken over Joseph"s pride. He doesn"t have anyone strong enough to protect them from the brutes that Auggie has."
"I"m not sure they"d like being called brutes," Wicked said, "but it"s accurate." He smiled, a most unpleasant smile that turned his hand some face to something else. Something more basic, less practiced, more real. Wicked and Truth had honor; you could bank on that honor, trust it. If they"d been one inch less honorable, they would have been totally untrustworthy, and too dangerous to keep.
"Have they moved on Joseph"s pride?" I asked.
"Not yet," Graham said. "I think they"re waiting to talk to you first." "Me, not Jean-Claude," I said. "They talked to Jean-Claude. He"s removed his protection from the lions."
"It"s all up to you, babe," Wicked said.
"Micah is the head of the furry coalition," I said.
"Micah kicked them out, unless you make him put them back in," Graham said.
"When your Nimir-Raj found out what the St. Louis lions had done, he accused them of having broken the treaty with both the wolves and the leopards," Truth said.
Wicked continued the story. "Since they broke the treaty, they are no longer allies of the coalition. So the coalition members don"t owe them anything."
"So when Auggie"s lions attack, no one will come to their aid," I said, my voice soft.
"Exactly," Wicked said. He seemed pleased.
Graham said, "Joseph is outside, alone. He thinks you will be the weak link." I looked at Graham, because it was odd wording. "You think I should let Joseph and his people fry."
"They betrayed us," Graham said. I saw something in his face then, a hardness that I hadn"t noticed before. He could be a good bodyguard when he wasn"t trying to f.u.c.k something, but he wasn"t hard, or ruthless. Not until now.
I remembered what I"d said to Edward. I"d planned on taking revenge on the werelions. Edward was going to help me. But I"d met Joseph and his people, knew them. They were real, and they weren"t all a waste of time. Travis and Noel had helped feed me for months while I tried to find a more permanent lion. They were too weak to satisfy my lioness, but they were good kids.
"Do I send him away?" Graham asked, as if that was what he wanted to do.
I thought about it. It would be so easy to just refuse to see him. Then I could be ruthless and hard-hearted, and not have to look the man in the face who I was condemning to death. I might be able to keep Auggie"s lions from slaughtering all the pride, but one death would be an absolute must-Joseph"s.
"Send him in," I said.
"You think that"s a good idea?" Wicked asked. He managed to keep his voice neutral. "It"d be easier not to see him," I said. "Then why see him?" Wicked said. "Because it would be easier." "That makes no sense." "It makes sense to me," Truth said. I looked up at the other vampire. We exchanged a long look. He understood why I had to turn Joseph away in person: because if I couldn"t look him in the eye and tell him the truth, then maybe it was the wrong thing to do. I had to see him, to know whether I could stand by and let nature take its course with the lions in our city. The lions weren"t my problem, d.a.m.n it. They had betrayed us. They would have let us all die. Their moral superiority had been worth more to them than the lives of our vampires. I wouldn"t cause them harm, but I was done stepping in and saving them. Or that"s what I told myself when I told Graham to open the door.
CHAPTER 37
I WATCHED JOSEPH walk toward the bed. He was tall with dark blond hair cut short. He was dressed for a business meeting in a suit complete with tie. I was betting his wife, Julia, had picked the outfit. He started undoing the tie before he got to Wicked and Truth. They stopped him a little short of the bed. Normally, I might have thought they were being overly cautious, but my body agreed with them. I was healing, but only through a miracle of metaphysics; eventually you run out of miracles.
"Anita, how are you doing?" He tried for a neutral tone but it came out nervous.
"Ted Forrester has gone to find a doc. I may get out of bed today."
"That"s great," and the relief chased over his face. His hands flexed and unflexed. "Julia said you"d be all right. She said that you"d find someone else to feed on. She said you would all be all right, and you are." He was talking a little too fast, as if even he didn"t believe it.
"Who are you trying to convince, Joseph, me or you?" My voice was flat and my eyes empty. I"d had dinner with him at my house. I"d thought he was a good man. But in the end, he"d let us die.
"Anita." He tried to step closer to the bed, but the vampires stopped him.
"You"re close enough," Wicked said.
"I would never harm her."
I raised the hospital gown, showed him the healing wounds that crossed my stomach and ribs. "The only thing that made me powerful enough to heal this was Donovan Reece"s letting me feed on every swanmane in this country. He gave me the power to live through this."
Joseph"s face had paled. "I"m married, Anita. Julia and I take our vows very seriously."
"If you were human that would be fine, Joseph, but you aren"t human. You"re a werelion. A werelion who owed allegiance to his allies. We needed you, and you failed us."
He went to his knees. "Do you want me to beg? I"ll beg."
I shook my head. "My lioness has never wanted you, Joseph. Had you ever wondered why? Why wouldn"t she want the strongest lion she could find? That"s what she"s programmed to do." I felt the lioness stir down that long dark tunnel in my head, or in my gut. I thought calm thoughts at her, and she stilled. I was almost surprised that it worked. I said a little prayer of thanks, and went back to paying attention to the lion in front of me.
"I thought you left me alone out of respect for my wife."
I looked at him. There was nothing wrong with him. He was good looking enough, if a little too masculine for my preferences, but he had never moved me. My lioness had never even tried for him.
"My lioness reacted to your lion the way she does to all the lions, but she was never drawn to you, the way she was drawn to some of the Chicago lions."
"You react to the Chicago lions because you slept with them. And their master vampire."
"Is that what everyone"s saying?" I asked.
He looked puzzled. "It"s the truth."
"No, it"s half the truth. Augustine, yes, but I was very careful with his lions. I was careful because I didn"t want to f.u.c.k up your lions. I left his lions very alone, because I was worried about you and yours." "I knew you sent them back to Chicago, but I thought ... I am grateful that you turned them down for us." In my head, I could admit that it hadn"t been entirely for Joseph and his people. The lion that most attracted my lioness had sooo been bad news.
"I did it because you were my ally, and I thought it was somehow my fault that the other werelions were going to come and take over your pride. I"ve learned since then that Augustine has had your pride on his to-do list for a while now. Because you and your lions are too weak to defend yourselves, and all the other lions know it."
"I kept my people safe," he said.
"No, I kept them safe. Jean-Claude kept them safe. Richard kept them safe. The wererats have died keeping your city safe. The leopards nearly lost their queen. The swans risked everything. Where were the lions while the rest of us bled and died?"
"If you had asked we would have fought for you."
"Why would we want the lions to fight for us, Joseph? You"re too weak. You don"t train in combat, or weapons. You are werelions, so f.u.c.king what? We"re all wereanimals, but we offer more than just teeth and claws. What do the lions offer us, Joseph?" The anger stirred that place inside me, and I had to close my eyes and count, slowly, breathe, slowly. The stirring eased again. Two times in a row the beasts had quieted because I"d asked, or concentrated on being calm. Maybe I was finally getting the hang of this.
"We are lions," he said, but his voice was soft. "You are weak," and my voice was soft, too. Soft because I couldn"t afford the anger. Joseph reached his hands out toward me, between Truth and Wicked"s legs. "Do not let them kill us."
"Am I your Rex? Am I your Regina?"
"No," he said, and his hands began to lower.
"Then why do you turn to me for help?"
"Because I have nowhere else to turn."
"Whose fault is that, Joseph? Whose fault is it that after this many years your pride is so weak that you have to turn to humans and vampires, and other animal groups for safety?"
His hands were on his thighs now. "Mine," he said.
"No, not just yours. I"m betting your wife had something to do with it. Every time someone remotely stronger than you and your brother came along, she said no, didn"t she? She said that you didn"t need them, didn"t she?"
"Yes," he said.
"If you"d let some strength into your pride, you would have learned how to be a better king." "Or they would have killed me and taken the pride, taken .. ." "Your wife," I said.
He nodded.
"I heard that some of the lion takeovers work like that. I can see where she wouldn"t want to take the chance."
"Then you understand."
I shook my head. "I can"t afford to understand, Joseph. I can"t afford to let you hide behind my skirts anymore. Micah kicked you out of our alliance." I looked across the room to Graham by the door. "Graham, did the other animal groups vote with the leopards?"
"They said pretty much what you"ve said, that they have all lost people or had injuries and the lions just take resources and don"t give anything back."
"I gave Anita the choice of all our unattached young men. I paraded them out for her like some kind of slave auction."
I"d been fighting off feeling bad about this decision, until that moment. "Slave auction, is that how you saw it?"
"You"re picking men who will have to have s.e.x with you. If you have no choice, then you"re just a slave."
"I haven"t f.u.c.ked any of your young lions."
He looked at me like he didn"t believe that at all.
"Didn"t you ask them what they did for me?"
"We felt bad enough giving them to you. We didn"t need to hear any details."
"You self-righteous prig. I didn"t sleep with them because most of them are virgins, or d.a.m.n close to it. Corrupting the young just doesn"t appeal to me."
There was a knock on the door. Who could it be this time? Graham opened the door, and standing in the doorway was the reason for Joseph"s fear, and the other reason for me sending the lions back to Chicago that first time. Haven, alias Cookie Monster, walked into the room.
CHAPTER 38
HE WAS TALL, and a little slender for my tastes, but a leather trench coat gave him more bulk through the shoulders than I knew he had. His short, spiked hair was still shades of blue like Cookie Monster and spring skies. His eyes were still blue and laughing. He was still hand some. He was still dangerous.
Joseph got to his feet. Wicked and Truth put a hand on either of his arms. He didn"t fight them about it. They just looked toward the other man. They were actually blocking my view at that point. I was okay with that. The less I saw of him, the better.
"It"s against the rules for you to hold him for me." Haven"s voice was pleasant, as if he were asking about the weather. He probably had a pleasant face to go with the pleasant voice. He could look pleasant and amused right up to the time he hurt you. He was a professional thug, and had been for all his adult life. He was a mob enforcer and a were-lion. Like I said, dangerous.
"I beat you last time," Joseph said. That was true.
"You got lucky," Haven said, and the voice was sliding down to something less pleasant. "But I didn"t even know you were here. I came to see Anita." Truth and Wicked stepped aside, taking Joseph with them. I was suddenly lying there staring up at the other man. I had a moment of staring up into that deceptively blue gaze, such an innocent color, and then his gaze slid down my body. It wasn"t s.e.xual; I"d forgotten to lower my gown, so the wounds were still visible.
His face was very serious, and on the edge of that came a flash of anger through those sky-blue eyes. "Weretiger, huh?"
"Yeah."
He reached out, as if he would touch the wounds. I drew the gown back over my skin. He looked me in the face again. There was a look in his eyes that I couldn"t decipher. It was a serious look, whatever it meant.
Something stirred inside me, something that flashed tawny and gold in the dark end of the tunnel. I suddenly smelled dry gra.s.s and heat so hot it had a smell to it. I smelled lion.
"I"m trying to be good here," Haven said. "If you go all lioness on me, I can"t promise to be good."
"I appreciate that," I said out loud, but my hand ached to reach out to him. He was toning down his power level, and I was toning down mine, but the urge to touch him was still there. Micah had figured it out that my power wasn"t seeking a lion to be another animal to call like Nathaniel. The power was seeking what Micah was to me, a Rex to my Regina. Chimera had been the same way, I guess; he"d been the dominant in whatever group he took over. The mix of panwere and Belle Morte"s line of vamps seemed to have changed it from me trying to be dominant to everyone into trying to be a dominant couple with everyone.
"Take his hand."
I blinked up at them.
Truth repeated, "Take his hand."
"I"m not sure that"s a good idea."
Haven reached out to me. I could have moved back, but I was just a little late in moving. Maybe it was a Freudian slip, or maybe it was an entire wardrobe.
His hand wrapped around mine with room to spare. His hands were as big as Richard"s, the fingers longer, closer to the way Jean-Claude"s hands looked, but the size was all Richard. The feel of his hand in mine made something tight in my chest loosen. I had enough men in my life, d.a.m.n it. All I had to do was let go of his hand, but I didn"t let go.
Haven was staring down at our clasped hands as if he didn"t know what they were. He sounded distracted, like he was thinking about something very different from what his words said. "Your Nimir-Raj has kicked Joseph and his lions out of the coalition. I"ve checked with the wererats, the werehyenas, and your Ulfric. They"re all cool with me doing what needs doing."