"But I tell you there is," persisted Davy. "It was in that question Marilla taught me last Sunday. "Why should we love G.o.d?" It says, "Because He makes preserves, and redeems us." Preserves is just a holy way of saying jam."
"I must get a drink of water," said Anne hastily. When she came back it cost her some time and trouble to explain to Davy that a certain comma in the said catechism question made a great deal of difference in the meaning.
"Well, I thought it was too good to be true," he said at last, with a sigh of disappointed conviction. "And besides, I didn"t see when He"d find time to make jam if it"s one endless Sabbath day, as the hymn says. I don"t believe I want to go to heaven. Won"t there ever be any Sat.u.r.days in heaven, Anne?"
"Yes, Sat.u.r.days, and every other kind of beautiful days. And every day in heaven will be more beautiful than the one before it, Davy," a.s.sured Anne, who was rather glad that Marilla was not by to be shocked. Marilla, it is needless to say, was bringing the twins up in the good old ways of theology and discouraged all fanciful speculations thereupon. Davy and Dora were taught a hymn, a catechism question, and two Bible verses every Sunday. Dora learned meekly and recited like a little machine, with perhaps as much understanding or interest as if she were one. Davy, on the contrary, had a lively curiosity, and frequently asked questions which made Marilla tremble for his fate.
"Chester Sloane says we"ll do nothing all the time in heaven but walk around in white dresses and play on harps; and he says he hopes he won"t have to go till he"s an old man, "cause maybe he"ll like it better then. And he thinks it will be horrid to wear dresses and I think so too. Why can"t men angels wear trousers, Anne? Chester Sloane is interested in those things, "cause they"re going to make a minister of him. He"s got to be a minister "cause his grandmother left the money to send him to college and he can"t have it unless he is a minister. She thought a minister was such a "spectable thing to have in a family. Chester says he doesn"t mind much ... though he"d rather be a blacksmith ... but he"s bound to have all the fun he can before he begins to be a minister, "cause he doesn"t expect to have much afterwards. I ain"t going to be a minister. I"m going to be a storekeeper, like Mr. Blair, and keep heaps of candy and bananas. But I"d rather like going to your kind of a heaven if they"d let me play a mouth organ instead of a harp. Do you s"pose they would?"
"Yes, I think they would if you wanted it," was all Anne could trust herself to say.
The A.V.I.S. met at Mr. Harmon Andrews" that evening and a full attendance had been requested, since important business was to be discussed. The A.V.I.S. was in a flourishing condition, and had already accomplished wonders. Early in the spring Mr. Major Spencer had redeemed his promise and had stumped, graded, and seeded down all the road front of his farm. A dozen other men, some prompted by a determination not to let a Spencer get ahead of them, others goaded into action by Improvers in their own households, had followed his example. The result was that there were long strips of smooth velvet turf where once had been unsightly undergrowth or brush. The farm fronts that had not been done looked so badly by contrast that their owners were secretly shamed into resolving to see what they could do another spring. The triangle of ground at the cross roads had also been cleared and seeded down, and Anne"s bed of geraniums, unharmed by any marauding cow, was already set out in the center.
Altogether, the Improvers thought that they were getting on beautifully, even if Mr. Levi Boulter, tactfully approached by a carefully selected committee in regard to the old house on his upper farm, did bluntly tell them that he wasn"t going to have it meddled with.
At this especial meeting they intended to draw up a pet.i.tion to the school trustees, humbly praying that a fence be put around the school grounds; and a plan was also to be discussed for planting a few ornamental trees by the church, if the funds of the society would permit of it ... for, as Anne said, there was no use in starting another subscription as long as the hall remained blue. The members were a.s.sembled in the Andrews" parlor and Jane was already on her feet to move the appointment of a committee which should find out and report on the price of said trees, when Gertie Pye swept in, pompadoured and frilled within an inch of her life. Gertie had a habit of being late ... "to make her entrance more effective," spiteful people said. Gertie"s entrance in this instance was certainly effective, for she paused dramatically on the middle of the floor, threw up her hands, rolled her eyes, and exclaimed, "I"ve just heard something perfectly awful. What DO you think? Mr. Judson Parker IS GOING TO RENT ALL THE ROAD FENCE OF HIS FARM TO A PATENT MEDICINE COMPANY TO PAINT ADVERTIs.e.m.e.nTS ON."
For once in her life Gertie Pye made all the sensation she desired. If she had thrown a bomb among the complacent Improvers she could hardly have made more.
"It CAN"T be true," said Anne blankly.
"That"s just what I said when I heard it first, don"t you know," said Gertie, who was enjoying herself hugely. "I said it couldn"t be true ... that Judson Parker wouldn"t have the HEART to do it, don"t you know. But father met him this afternoon and asked him about it and he said it WAS true. Just fancy! His farm is side-on to the Newbridge road and how perfectly awful it will look to see advertis.e.m.e.nts of pills and plasters all along it, don"t you know?"
The Improvers DID know, all too well. Even the least imaginative among them could picture the grotesque effect of half a mile of board fence adorned with such advertis.e.m.e.nts. All thought of church and school grounds vanished before this new danger. Parliamentary rules and regulations were forgotten, and Anne, in despair, gave up trying to keep minutes at all. Everybody talked at once and fearful was the hubbub.
"Oh, let us keep calm," implored Anne, who was the most excited of them all, "and try to think of some way of preventing him."
"I don"t know how you"re going to prevent him," exclaimed Jane bitterly. "Everybody knows what Judson Parker is. He"d do ANYTHING for money. He hasn"t a SPARK of public spirit or ANY sense of the beautiful."
The prospect looked rather unpromising. Judson Parker and his sister were the only Parkers in Avonlea, so that no leverage could be exerted by family connections. Martha Parker was a lady of all too certain age who disapproved of young people in general and the Improvers in particular. Judson was a jovial, smooth-spoken man, so uniformly goodnatured and bland that it was surprising how few friends he had. Perhaps he had got the better in too many business transactions... which seldom makes for popularity. He was reputed to be very "sharp" and it was the general opinion that he "hadn"t much principle."
"If Judson Parker has a chance to "turn an honest penny," as he says himself, he"ll never lose it," declared Fred Wright.
"Is there n.o.bODY who has any influence over him?" asked Anne despairingly.
"He goes to see Louisa Spencer at White Sands," suggested Carrie Sloane. "Perhaps she could coax him not to rent his fences."
"Not she," said Gilbert emphatically. "I know Louisa Spencer well. She doesn"t "believe" in Village Improvement Societies, but she DOES believe in dollars and cents. She"d be more likely to urge Judson on than to dissuade him."
"The only thing to do is to appoint a committee to wait on him and protest," said Julia Bell, "and you must send girls, for he"d hardly be civil to boys ... but I won"t go, so n.o.body need nominate me."
"Better send Anne alone," said Oliver Sloane. "She can talk Judson over if anybody can."
Anne protested. She was willing to go and do the talking; but she must have others with her "for moral support." Diana and Jane were therefore appointed to support her morally and the Improvers broke up, buzzing like angry bees with indignation. Anne was so worried that she didn"t sleep until nearly morning, and then she dreamed that the trustees had put a fence around the school and painted "Try Purple Pills" all over it.
The committee waited on Judson Parker the next afternoon. Anne pleaded eloquently against his nefarious design and Jane and Diana supported her morally and valiantly. Judson was sleek, suave, flattering; paid them several compliments of the delicacy of sunflowers; felt real bad to refuse such charming young ladies ... but business was business; couldn"t afford to let sentiment stand in the way these hard times.
"But I"ll tell what I WILL do," he said, with a twinkle in his light, full eyes. "I"ll tell the agent he must use only handsome, tasty colors ... red and yellow and so on. I"ll tell him he mustn"t paint the ads BLUE on any account."
The vanquished committee retired, thinking things not lawful to be uttered.
"We have done all we can do and must simply trust the rest to Providence," said Jane, with an unconscious imitation of Mrs. Lynde"s tone and manner.
"I wonder if Mr. Allan could do anything," reflected Diana.
Anne shook her head.
"No, it"s no use to worry Mr. Allan, especially now when the baby"s so sick. Judson would slip away from him as smoothly as from us, although he HAS taken to going to church quite regularly just now. That is simply because Louisa Spencer"s father is an elder and very particular about such things."
"Judson Parker is the only man in Avonlea who would dream of renting his fences," said Jane indignantly. "Even Levi Boulter or Lorenzo White would never stoop to that, tightfisted as they are. They would have too much respect for public opinion."
Public opinion was certainly down on Judson Parker when the facts became known, but that did not help matters much. Judson chuckled to himself and defied it, and the Improvers were trying to reconcile themselves to the prospect of seeing the prettiest part of the Newbridge road defaced by advertis.e.m.e.nts, when Anne rose quietly at the president"s call for reports of committees on the occasion of the next meeting of the Society, and announced that Mr. Judson Parker had instructed her to inform the Society that he was NOT going to rent his fences to the Patent Medicine Company.
Jane and Diana stared as if they found it hard to believe their ears. Parliamentary etiquette, which was generally very strictly enforced in the A.V.I.S., forbade them giving instant vent to their curiosity, but after the Society adjourned Anne was besieged for explanations. Anne had no explanation to give. Judson Parker had overtaken her on the road the preceding evening and told her that he had decided to humor the A.V.I.S. in its peculiar prejudice against patent medicine advertis.e.m.e.nts. That was all Anne would say, then or ever afterwards, and it was the simple truth; but when Jane Andrews, on her way home, confided to Oliver Sloane her firm belief that there was more behind Judson Parker"s mysterious change of heart than Anne Shirley had revealed, she spoke the truth also.
Anne had been down to old Mrs. Irving"s on the sh.o.r.e road the preceding evening and had come home by a short cut which led her first over the low-lying sh.o.r.e fields, and then through the beech wood below Robert d.i.c.kson"s, by a little footpath that ran out to the main road just above the Lake of Shining Waters ... known to unimaginative people as Barry"s pond.
Two men were sitting in their buggies, reined off to the side of the road, just at the entrance of the path. One was Judson Parker; the other was Jerry Corcoran, a Newbridge man against whom, as Mrs. Lynde would have told you in eloquent italics, nothing shady had ever been PROVED. He was an agent for agricultural implements and a prominent personage in matters political. He had a finger ... some people said ALL his fingers ... in every political pie that was cooked; and as Canada was on the eve of a general election Jerry Corcoran had been a busy man for many weeks, canva.s.sing the county in the interests of his party"s candidate. Just as Anne emerged from under the overhanging beech boughs she heard Corcoran say, "If you"ll vote for Amesbury, Parker ... well, I"ve a note for that pair of harrows you"ve got in the spring. I suppose you wouldn"t object to having it back, eh?"
"We ... ll, since you put it in that way," drawled Judson with a grin, "I reckon I might as well do it. A man must look out for his own interests in these hard times."
Both saw Anne at this moment and conversation abruptly ceased. Anne bowed frostily and walked on, with her chin slightly more tilted than usual. Soon Judson Parker overtook her.
"Have a lift, Anne?" he inquired genially.
"Thank you, no," said Anne politely, but with a fine, needle-like disdain in her voice that pierced even Judson Parker"s none too sensitive consciousness. His face reddened and he twitched his reins angrily; but the next second prudential considerations checked him. He looked uneasily at Anne, as she walked steadily on, glancing neither to the right nor to the left. Had she heard Corcoran"s unmistakable offer and his own too plain acceptance of it? Confound Corcoran! If he couldn"t put his meaning into less dangerous phrases he"d get into trouble some of these long-come-shorts. And confound redheaded school-ma"ams with a habit of popping out of beechwoods where they had no business to be. If Anne had heard, Judson Parker, measuring her corn in his own half bushel, as the country saying went, and cheating himself thereby, as such people generally do, believed that she would tell it far and wide. Now, Judson Parker, as has been seen, was not overly regardful of public opinion; but to be known as having accepted a bribe would be a nasty thing; and if it ever reached Isaac Spencer"s ears farewell forever to all hope of winning Louisa Jane with her comfortable prospects as the heiress of a well-to-do farmer. Judson Parker knew that Mr. Spencer looked somewhat askance at him as it was; he could not afford to take any risks.
"Ahem ... Anne, I"ve been wanting to see you about that little matter we were discussing the other day. I"ve decided not to let my fences to that company after all. A society with an aim like yours ought to be encouraged."
Anne thawed out the merest trifle.
"Thank you," she said.
"And ... and ... you needn"t mention that little conversation of mine with Jerry."
"I have no intention of mentioning it in any case," said Anne icily, for she would have seen every fence in Avonlea painted with advertis.e.m.e.nts before she would have stooped to bargain with a man who would sell his vote.
"Just so ... just so," agreed Judson, imagining that they understood each other beautifully. "I didn"t suppose you would. Of course, I was only stringing Jerry ... he thinks he"s so all-fired cute and smart. I"ve no intention of voting for Amesbury. I"m going to vote for Grant as I"ve always done ... you"ll see that when the election comes off. I just led Jerry on to see if he would commit himself. And it"s all right about the fence ... you can tell the Improvers that."
"It takes all sorts of people to make a world, as I"ve often heard, but I think there are some who could be spared," Anne told her reflection in the east gable mirror that night. "I wouldn"t have mentioned the disgraceful thing to a soul anyhow, so my conscience is clear on THAT score. I really don"t know who or what is to be thanked for this. I did nothing to bring it about, and it"s hard to believe that Providence ever works by means of the kind of politics men like Judson Parker and Jerry Corcoran have."
XV.
The Beginning of Vacation.
Anne locked the schoolhouse door on a still, yellow evening, when the winds were purring in the spruces around the playground, and the shadows were long and lazy by the edge of the woods. She dropped the key into her pocket with a sigh of satisfaction. The school year was ended, she had been reengaged for the next, with many expressions of satisfaction... . only Mr. Harmon Andrews told her she ought to use the strap oftener ... and two delightful months of a well-earned vacation beckoned her invitingly. Anne felt at peace with the world and herself as she walked down the hill with her basket of flowers in her hand. Since the earliest mayflowers Anne had never missed her weekly pilgrimage to Matthew"s grave. Everyone else in Avonlea, except Marilla, had already forgotten quiet, shy, unimportant Matthew Cuthbert; but his memory was still green in Anne"s heart and always would be. She could never forget the kind old man who had been the first to give her the love and sympathy her starved childhood had craved.
At the foot of the hill a boy was sitting on the fence in the shadow of the spruces ... a boy with big, dreamy eyes and a beautiful, sensitive face. He swung down and joined Anne, smiling; but there were traces of tears on his cheeks.
"I thought I"d wait for you, teacher, because I knew you were going to the graveyard," he said, slipping his hand into hers. "I"m going there, too ... I"m taking this bouquet of geraniums to put on Grandpa Irving"s grave for grandma. And look, teacher, I"m going to put this bunch of white roses beside Grandpa"s grave in memory of my little mother... because I can"t go to her grave to put it there. But don"t you think she"ll know all about it, just the same?"
"Yes, I am sure she will, Paul."
"You see, teacher, it"s just three years today since my little mother died. It"s such a long, long time but it hurts just as much as ever ... and I miss her just as much as ever. Sometimes it seems to me that I just can"t bear it, it hurts so."
Paul"s voice quivered and his lip trembled. He looked down at his roses, hoping that his teacher would not notice the tears in his eyes.
"And yet," said Anne, very softly, "you wouldn"t want it to stop hurting ... you wouldn"t want to forget your little mother even if you could."
"No, indeed, I wouldn"t ... that"s just the way I feel. You"re so good at understanding, teacher. n.o.body else understands so well ... not even grandma, although she"s so good to me. Father understood pretty well, but still I couldn"t talk much to him about mother, because it made him feel so bad. When he put his hand over his face I always knew it was time to stop. Poor father, he must be dreadfully lonesome without me; but you see he has n.o.body but a housekeeper now and he thinks housekeepers are no good to bring up little boys, especially when he has to be away from home so much on business. Grandmothers are better, next to mothers. Someday, when I"m brought up, I"ll go back to father and we"re never going to be parted again."
Paul had talked so much to Anne about his mother and father that she felt as if she had known them. She thought his mother must have been very like what he was himself, in temperament and disposition; and she had an idea that Stephen Irving was a rather reserved man with a deep and tender nature which he kept hidden scrupulously from the world.
"Father"s not very easy to get acquainted with," Paul had said once. "I never got really acquainted with him until after my little mother died. But he"s splendid when you do get to know him. I love him the best in all the world, and Grandma Irving next, and then you, teacher. I"d love you next to father if it wasn"t my DUTY to love Grandma Irving best, because she"s doing so much for me. YOU know, teacher. I wish she would leave the lamp in my room till I go to sleep, though. She takes it right out as soon as she tucks me up because she says I mustn"t be a coward. I"m NOT scared, but I"d RATHER have the light. My little mother used always to sit beside me and hold my hand till I went to sleep. I expect she spoiled me. Mothers do sometimes, you know."
No, Anne did not know this, although she might imagine it. She thought sadly of HER "little mother," the mother who had thought her so "perfectly beautiful" and who had died so long ago and was buried beside her boyish husband in that unvisited grave far away. Anne could not remember her mother and for this reason she almost envied Paul.
"My birthday is next week," said Paul, as they walked up the long red hill, basking in the June sunshine, "and father wrote me that he is sending me something that he thinks I"ll like better than anything else he could send. I believe it has come already, for Grandma is keeping the bookcase drawer locked and that is something new. And when I asked her why, she just looked mysterious and said little boys mustn"t be too curious. It"s very exciting to have a birthday, isn"t it? I"ll be eleven. You"d never think it to look at me, would you? Grandma says I"m very small for my age and that it"s all because I don"t eat enough porridge. I do my very best, but Grandma gives such generous platefuls ... there"s nothing mean about Grandma, I can tell you. Ever since you and I had that talk about praying going home from Sunday School that day, teacher ... when you said we ought to pray about all our difficulties ... I"ve prayed every night that G.o.d would give me enough grace to enable me to eat every bit of my porridge in the mornings. But I"ve never been able to do it yet, and whether it"s because I have too little grace or too much porridge I really can"t decide. Grandma says father was brought up on porridge, and it certainly did work well in his case, for you ought to see the shoulders he has. But sometimes," concluded Paul with a sigh and a meditative air "I really think porridge will be the death of me."
Anne permitted herself a smile, since Paul was not looking at her. All Avonlea knew that old Mrs. Irving was bringing her grandson up in accordance with the good, old-fashioned methods of diet and morals.
"Let us hope not, dear," she said cheerfully. "How are your rock people coming on? Does the oldest Twin still continue to behave himself?"
"He HAS to," said Paul emphatically. "He knows I won"t a.s.sociate with him if he doesn"t. He is really full of wickedness, I think."
"And has Nora found out about the Golden Lady yet?"
"No; but I think she suspects. I"m almost sure she watched me the last time I went to the cave. I don"t mind if she finds out ... it is only for HER sake I don"t want her to ... so that her feelings won"t be hurt. But if she is DETERMINED to have her feelings hurt it can"t be helped."
"If I were to go to the sh.o.r.e some night with you do you think I could see your rock people too?"
Paul shook his head gravely.
"No, I don"t think you could see MY rock people. I"m the only person who can see them. But you could see rock people of your own. You"re one of the kind that can. We"re both that kind. YOU know, teacher," he added, squeezing her hand chummily. "Isn"t it splendid to be that kind, teacher?"
"Splendid," Anne agreed, gray shining eyes looking down into blue shining ones. Anne and Paul both knew "How fair the realm Imagination opens to the view,"
and both knew the way to that happy land. There the rose of joy bloomed immortal by dale and stream; clouds never darkened the sunny sky; sweet bells never jangled out of tune; and kindred spirits abounded. The knowledge of that land"s geography ... "east o" the sun, west o" the moon" ... is priceless lore, not to be bought in any market place. It must be the gift of the good fairies at birth and the years can never deface it or take it away. It is better to possess it, living in a garret, than to be the inhabitant of palaces without it.
The Avonlea graveyard was as yet the gra.s.s-grown solitude it had always been. To be sure, the Improvers had an eye on it, and Priscilla Grant had read a paper on cemeteries before the last meeting of the Society. At some future time the Improvers meant to have the lichened, wayward old board fence replaced by a neat wire railing, the gra.s.s mown and the leaning monuments straightened up.
Anne put on Matthew"s grave the flowers she had brought for it, and then went over to the little poplar shaded corner where Hester Gray slept. Ever since the day of the spring picnic Anne had put flowers on Hester"s grave when she visited Matthew"s. The evening before she had made a pilgrimage back to the little deserted garden in the woods and brought therefrom some of Hester"s own white roses.
"I thought you would like them better than any others, dear," she said softly.
Anne was still sitting there when a shadow fell over the gra.s.s and she looked up to see Mrs. Allan. They walked home together.
Mrs. Allan"s face was not the face of the girlbride whom the minister had brought to Avonlea five years before. It had lost some of its bloom and youthful curves, and there were fine, patient lines about eyes and mouth. A tiny grave in that very cemetery accounted for some of them; and some new ones had come during the recent illness, now happily over, of her little son. But Mrs. Allan"s dimples were as sweet and sudden as ever, her eyes as clear and bright and true; and what her face lacked of girlish beauty was now more than atoned for in added tenderness and strength.
"I suppose you are looking forward to your vacation, Anne?" she said, as they left the graveyard.
Anne nodded.
"Yes... . I could roll the word as a sweet morsel under my tongue. I think the summer is going to be lovely. For one thing, Mrs. Morgan is coming to the Island in July and Priscilla is going to bring her up. I feel one of my old "thrills" at the mere thought."
"I hope you"ll have a good time, Anne. You"ve worked very hard this past year and you have succeeded."
"Oh, I don"t know. I"ve come so far short in so many things. I haven"t done what I meant to do when I began to teach last fall. I haven"t lived up to my ideals."
"None of us ever do," said Mrs. Allan with a sigh. "But then, Anne, you know what Lowell says, "Not failure but low aim is crime." We must have ideals and try to live up to them, even if we never quite succeed. Life would be a sorry business without them. With them it"s grand and great. Hold fast to your ideals, Anne."
"I shall try. But I have to let go most of my theories," said Anne, laughing a little. "I had the most beautiful set of theories you ever knew when I started out as a schoolma"am, but every one of them has failed me at some pinch or another."
"Even the theory on corporal punishment," teased Mrs. Allan.
But Anne flushed.
"I shall never forgive myself for whipping Anthony."
"Nonsense, dear, he deserved it. And it agreed with him. You have had no trouble with him since and he has come to think there"s n.o.body like you. Your kindness won his love after the idea that a "girl was no good" was rooted out of his stubborn mind."
"He may have deserved it, but that is not the point. If I had calmly and deliberately decided to whip him because I thought it a just punishment for him I would not feel over it as I do. But the truth is, Mrs. Allan, that I just flew into a temper and whipped him because of that. I wasn"t thinking whether it was just or unjust ... even if he hadn"t deserved it I"d have done it just the same. That is what humiliates me."
"Well, we all make mistakes, dear, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us. There goes Gilbert Blythe on his wheel ... home for his vacation too, I suppose. How are you and he getting on with your studies?"
"Pretty well. We plan to finish the Virgil tonight ... there are only twenty lines to do. Then we are not going to study any more until September."
"Do you think you will ever get to college?"
"Oh, I don"t know." Anne looked dreamily afar to the opal-tinted horizon. "Marilla"s eyes will never be much better than they are now, although we are so thankful to think that they will not get worse. And then there are the twins ... somehow I don"t believe their uncle will ever really send for them. Perhaps college may be around the bend in the road, but I haven"t got to the bend yet and I don"t think much about it lest I might grow discontented."
"Well, I should like to see you go to college, Anne; but if you never do, don"t be discontented about it. We make our own lives wherever we are, after all ... college can only help us to do it more easily. They are broad or narrow according to what we put into them, not what we get out. Life is rich and full here ... everywhere ... if we can only learn how to open our whole hearts to its richness and fulness."
"I think I understand what you mean," said Anne thoughtfully, "and I know I have so much to feel thankful for ... oh, so much ... my work, and Paul Irving, and the dear twins, and all my friends. Do you know, Mrs. Allan, I"m so thankful for friendship. It beautifies life so much."
"True friendship is a very helpful thing indeed," said Mrs. Allan, "and we should have a very high ideal of it, and never sully it by any failure in truth and sincerity. I fear the name of friendship is often degraded to a kind of intimacy that has nothing of real friendship in it."
"Yes ... like Gertie Pye"s and Julia Bell"s. They are very intimate and go everywhere together; but Gertie is always saying nasty things of Julia behind her back and everybody thinks she is jealous of her because she is always so pleased when anybody criticizes Julia. I think it is desecration to call that friendship. If we have friends we should look only for the best in them and give them the best that is in us, don"t you think? Then friendship would be the most beautiful thing in the world."
"Friendship IS very beautiful," smiled Mrs. Allan, "but some day ..."