"Still, Anne, I"m certain he"d have cared--if that"s any comfort to you.
You didn"t make it up out of your dear little head. We all thought it.
Father thought it. I believe he wanted it. If he"d only known!"
She thought: If he"d only known how he had hurt her, he who had never hurt anybody in all his beautiful life.
"Dear Uncle Robert. There"s no good talking about it. I knew, the minute Jerry said he didn"t want me to go to India with him."
"Is that why you didn"t go?"
"Yes."
"That was a mistake, Anne. You should have gone."
"How could I, after that? And if I had, he"d only have kept away."
"You should have let him go first and then gone after him. You should have turned up suddenly, in wonderful clothes, looking cheerful and beautiful. So that you wiped out the memory he funked. As it is you"ve left him nothing else to think of."
"I daresay that"s what I should have done. But it"s too late. I can"t do it now."
"I"m not so sure."
"What, go _after_ Jerrold? Hunt him down? Dress up and scheme to make him marry me?"
"Yes. Yes. Yes."
"Eliot, you know I couldn"t."
"You said once you"d commit a crime for anybody you cared about."
"A crime, yes. But not that. I"d rather die."
"You"re too fastidious. It"s only the unscrupulous people who get what they want in this world. They know what they want and go for it. They stamp on everything and everybody that gets in their way."
"Oh, Eliot dear, I know what I want, and I"d go for it. If only Jerrold knew, too."
"He would know if you showed him."
"And that"s just what I can"t do."
"Well, don"t say I didn"t give you the best possible advice, against my own interests, too."
"It was sweet of you. But you see how impossible it is."
"I see how adorable you are. You always were."
iv
For the first time in her life Adeline was furious.
She had asked Eliot whether he was or was not going to marry Anne Severn, and was told that he had asked her to marry him that afternoon and that she wouldn"t have him.
"Wouldn"t have you? What"s she thinking of?"
"You"d better ask her," said Eliot, never dreaming that she would.
But that was what Adeline did. She came that night to Anne"s room just as Anne was getting into bed. Unappeased by her defenseless att.i.tude, she attacked with violence.
"What"s all this about Eliot asking you to marry him?"
Anne uncurled herself and sat up on the edge of her bed.
"Did he tell you?"
"Yes. Of course he told me. He says you refused him. Did you?"
"I"m afraid I did."
"Then Anne, you"re a perfect little fool."
"But Auntie, I don"t love him."
"Nonsense; you love him as much as most people love the men they marry.
He"s quite sensible. He doesn"t want you to go mad about him."
"He wants more than I can give him."
"Well, all I can say is if you can"t give him what he wants you"d no business to go about with him as you"ve been doing."
"I"ve been going about with him all my life and I never dreamed he"d want to marry me."
"What did you suppose he"d want?"
"Why, nothing but just to go about. As we always did."
"You idiot."
"I don"t see why you should be so cross about it."
Adeline sat down in the armchair at the head of the bed, prepared to "have it out" with Anne.
"I suppose you think my son"s happiness is nothing to me? Didn"t it occur to you that if you refuse him he"ll stick for years in that awful place he"s going to? Whereas if he had a wife in England there"d be a chance of his coming home now and then. Perhaps he"d never go out again."
"I"m sorry, Auntie. I can"t marry Eliot even to keep him in England.
Even to please you."
"Even to save his life, you mean. You don"t care if he dies of some hideous tropical disease."