Not so sure as he was about little Maisie Durham. He knew Maisie cared.
That was why she had gone out to India. It was also why she had been sent back again. He was afraid it might be why the Durhams had asked him to stay with them as soon as he had leave. If that was so, he wasn"t sure whether he ought to stay with them, seeing that he didn"t care for Maisie. But since they had asked him, well, he could only suppose that the Durhams knew what they were about. Perhaps Maisie had got over it.
The little thing had lots of sense.
It hadn"t been his fault in the beginning, Maisie"s caring. Afterwards, perhaps, in India, when he had let himself see more of her than he would have done if he had known she cared; but that, again, was hardly his fault since he didn"t know. You don"t see these things unless you"re on the lookout for them, and you"re not on the lookout unless you"re a conceited a.s.s. Then when he did see it, when he couldn"t help seeing, after other people had seen and made him see, it had been too late.
But this was five years ago, and of course Maisie had got over it. There would be somebody else now. Perhaps he would go down to Yorkshire.
Perhaps he wouldn"t.
At this point Jerrold realised that it depended on Anne.
But before he saw Anne he would have to see his mother. And before he saw his mother his mother had seen Anne and Colin.
ii
And while Anne in Gloucestershire was answering Jerrold"s letter, Jerrold sat in the drawing-room of the house in Montpelier Square and talked to his mother. They talked about Colin and Anne.
"What"s Colin"s wife doing?" he said.
"Queenie? She"s driving a field ambulance car in Belgium."
"Why isn"t she looking after Colin?"
"That isn"t in Queenie"s line. Besides--"
"Besides what?"
"Well, to tell the truth, I don"t suppose she"ll live with Colin after--"
"After _what_?"
"Well, after Colin"s living with Anne."
Jerrold stiffened. He felt the blood rushing to his heart, betraying him. His face was G.o.d only knew what awful colour.
"You don"t mean to say they--"
"I don"t mean to say I blame them, poor darlings. What were they to do?"
"But" (he almost stammered it) "you don"t know--you can"t know--it doesn"t follow."
"Well, of course, my dear, they haven"t _told_ me. You don"t shout these things from the house-tops. But what is one to think? There they are; there they"ve been for the last five months, living together at the Farm, absolutely alone. Anne won"t leave him. She won"t have anybody there. If you tell her it"s not proper she laughs in your face. And Colin swears he won"t go back to Queenie. What _is_ one to think?"
Jerrold covered his face with his hands. He didn"t know.
His mother went on in a voice of perfect sweetness. "Don"t imagine I think a bit the worse of Anne. She"s been simply splendid. I never saw anything like her devotion. She"s brought Colin round out of the most appalling state. We"ve no business to complain of a situation we"re all benefitting by. Some people can do these things and you forgive them.
Whatever Anne does or doesn"t do she"ll always be a perfect darling. As for Queenie, I don"t consider her for a minute. She"s been simply asking for it."
He wondered whether it were really true. It didn"t follow that Anne and Colin were lovers because his mother said so; even supposing that she really thought it.
"You don"t go telling everybody, I hope?" he said.
"My dear Jerrold, what do you think I"m made of? I haven"t even told Anne"s father. I"ve only told you because I thought you ought to know."
"I see; you want to put me off Anne?"
"I don"t _want_ to. But it would, wouldn"t it?"
"Oh Lord, yes, if it was true. Perhaps it isn"t."
"Jerry dear, it may be awfully immoral of me, but for Colin"s sake I can"t help hoping that it is. I did so want Anne to marry Colin--really he"s only right when he"s with her--and if Queenie divorces him I suppose she will."
"But, mother, you _are_ going ahead. You may be quite wrong."
"I may. You can only suppose--"
"How on earth am I to know? I can"t ask them."
"No, you can"t ask them."
Of course he couldn"t. He couldn"t go to Colin and say, "Are you Anne"s lover?" He couldn"t go to Anne and say, "Are you Colin"s mistress?"
"If they wanted us to know," said Adeline, "they"d have told us. There you are."
"Supposing it isn"t true, do you imagine he cares for her?"
"Yes, Jerrold. I"m quite, quite sure of that. I was down there last week and saw them. He can"t bear her out of his sight one minute. He couldn"t not care."
"And Anne?"
"Oh, well, Anne isn"t going to give herself away. But I"m certain...
Would she stick down there, with everybody watching them and thinking things and talking, if she didn"t care so much that nothing matters?"
"But would she--would she--"
The best of his mother was that in these matters her mind jumped to meet yours halfway. You hadn"t got to put things into words.
"My dear, if you think she wouldn"t, supposing she cared enough, you don"t know Anne."
"I shall go down," he said, "and see her."
"If you do, for goodness" sake be careful. Even supposing there"s nothing in it, you mustn"t let Colin see you think there is. He"d feel then that he ought to leave her for fear of compromising her. And if he leaves her he"ll be as bad as ever again. And _I_ can"t manage him.
n.o.body can manage him but Anne. That"s how they"ve tied our hands. We can"t say anything."
"I see."
"After all, Jerrold, it"s very simple. If they"re innocent we must leave them in their innocence. And if they"re not----"