"Now--tell me what it is." She knew by Anne"s surrender that, this time, it was not her mother.
"I don"t know."
"You _do_ know. Is it Jerry? Do you want Jerry?"
At the name Anne"s crying broke out again, savage, violent.
Adeline held her close and let the storm beat itself out against her heart.
"You can"t want him more than I do, little Anne."
"You"ll have him when he comes back. And I shan"t. I shall be gone."
"You"ll come again, darling. You"ll come again."
II
ADOLESCENTS
i
For the next two years Anne came again and again, staying four months at Wyck and four months in London with Grandmamma Severn and Aunt Emily, and four months with Grandpapa Everitt at the Ess.e.x Farm.
When she was twelve they sent her to school in Switzerland for three years. Then back to Wyck, after eight months of London and Ess.e.x in between.
Only the times at Wyck counted for Anne. Her calendar showed them clear with all their incidents recorded; thick black lines blotted out the other days, as she told them off, one by one. Three years and eight months were scored through in this manner.
Anne at fifteen was a tall girl with long hair tied in a big black bow at the cape of her neck. Her vague nose had settled into the forward-raking line that made her the dark likeness of her father. Her body was slender but solid; the strong white neck carried her head high with the poise of a runner. She looked at least seventeen in her clean-cut coat and skirt. Probably she wouldn"t look much older for another fifteen years.
Robert Fielding stared with incredulity at this figure which had pursued him down the platform at Wyck and now seized him by the arm.
"Is it--is it Anne?"
"Of course it is. Why, didn"t you expect me?"
"I think I expected something smaller and rather less grown-up."
"I"m not grown-up. I"m the same as ever."
"Well, you"re not little Anne any more."
She squeezed his arm, hanging on it in her old loving way. "No. But I"m still me. And I"d have known _you_ anywhere."
"What? With my grey hair?"
"I love your grey hair."
It made him handsome, more lovable than ever. Anne loved it as she loved his face, tanned and tightened by sun and wind, the long hard-drawn lines, the thin, kind mouth, the clear, greenish brown eyes, quick and kind.
Colin stood by the dogcart in the station yard. Colin was changed. He was no longer the excited child who came rushing to you. He stood for you to come to him, serious and shy. His child"s face was pa.s.sing from prettiness to a fine, sombre beauty.
"What"s happened to Col-Col? He"s all different?"
"Is he? Wait," Uncle Robert said, "till you"ve seen Jerrold."
"Oh, is Jerrold going to be different, too?"
"I"m afraid he"ll _look_ a little different."
"I don"t care," she said. "He"ll _be_ him."
She wanted to come back and find everybody and everything the same, looking exactly as she had left them. What they had once been for her they must always be.
They drove slowly up Wyck Hill. The tree-tops meeting overhead made a green tunnel. You came out suddenly into the sunlight at the top. The road was the same. They pa.s.sed by the Unicorn Inn and the Post Office, through the narrow crooked street with the church and churchyard at the turn; and so into the grey and yellow Market Square with the two tall elms standing up on the little green in the corner. They pa.s.sed the Queen"s Head; the powder-blue sign hung out from the yellow front the same as ever. Next came the fountain and the four forked roads by the signpost, then the dip of the hill to the left and the grey ball-topped stone pillars of the Park gates on the right.
At the end of the beech avenue she saw the house; the three big, sharp-pointed gables of the front: the little gable underneath in the middle, jutting out over the porch. That was the bay of Aunt Adeline"s bed-room. She used to lean out of the lattice windows and call to the children in the garden. The house was the same.
So were the green terraces and the wide, flat-topped yew walls, and the great peac.o.c.ks carved out of the yew; and beyond them the lawn, flowing out under banks of clipped yew down to the goldfish pond. They were things that she had seen again and again in sleep and memory; things that had made her heart ache thinking of them; that took her back and back, and wouldn"t let her be. She had only to leave off what she was doing and she saw them; they swam before her eyes, covering the Swiss mountains, the flat Ess.e.x fields, the high white London houses. They waited for her at the waking end of dreams.
She had found them again.
A gap in the green walls led into the flower garden, and there, down the path between tall rows of phlox and larkspurs and anchusa, of blue heaped on blue, Aunt Adeline came holding up a tall bunch of flowers, blue on her white gown, blue on her own milk-white and blue. She came, looking like a beautiful girl; the same, the same; Anne had seen her in dreams, walking like that, tall among the tall flowers.
She never hurried to meet you; hurrying would have spoiled the beauty of her movement; she came slowly, absent-mindedly, stopping now and then to pluck yet another of the blue spires. Robert stood still in the path to watch her. She was smiling a long way off, intensely aware of him.
"Is _that_ Anne?" she said.
"Yes, Auntie, _really_ Anne."
"Well, you _are_ a big girl, aren"t you?"
She kissed her three times and smiled, looking away again over her flower-beds. That was the difference between Aunt Adeline and Uncle Robert. His eyes made you important; they held you all the time he talked to you; when he smiled, it was for you altogether and not for himself at all. Her eyes never looked at you long; her smile wandered, it was half for you and half for herself, for something she was thinking of that wasn"t you.
"What have you done with your father?" she said.
"I was to tell you. Daddy"s ever so sorry; but he can"t come till to-morrow. A horrid man kept him on business."
"Oh?" A little crisping wave went over Aunt Adeline"s face, a wave of vexation. Anne saw it.
"He is _really_ sorry. You should have heard him d.a.m.ning and cursing."
They laughed. Adeline was appeased. She took her husband"s arm and drew him to herself. Something warm and secret seemed to pa.s.s between them.
Anne said to herself: "That"s how people look--" without finishing her thought.
Lest she should feel shut out he turned to her.