Appeasing The Gods

Chinwe was worried, concerned for her son"s future. She tried all she could to communicate with him but he kept shutting her out. She hired the best nannies and took him to several hospitals, but all they did was sprinkle sugar coated lies and pump him full of drugs, which made him exceedingly sluggish. He was just a young boy; he shouldn"t have to live such a life. He should be naughty and free-spirited, that was how things were supposed to work.

She was meant to have a son that would carry on their legacy, how was he supposed to do that if he couldn"t acknowledge his own parent? She was aware of the whispers people made when her son threw tantrums. Sometimes it was so overwhelming she would bury herself in work and pray for patience, the worst part was he had never called her mother. She could be gone for days and he would not glance at her when she returned, her heart would shatter in a million pieces.

Chinwe got complains from his teachers, they couldn"t handle her son"s nature. He is either too wild or secluded; it was always something. He never wanted to be with his mates, he would cry for hours without taking a break. Every now and then she would scream at him, demanding he tell her what was wrong. She was hurting and desperately wanted to know what was happening, did he feel pain? Was that why he cried so hard?

Uche was solely appointed to care for Ikem, she sat a few inches from him and exasperation covered her countenance. He stared at the door ddling with his soft hands, she has a strong urge to hit him. On occasions when he threw his tantrums, she would strike him on the face. When questions were asked about his bruises, she would simply say "he fell". She was wise to restrain herself, he had not given her a reason to hit him yet but soon he will; she was counting on it. He should learn to behave and not act like an animal.

"At your age you have not even said a word, you are not even a child anymore. I blame your parents; they spoil you too much. If you were my child eh, you will be smart by force. See your big head" she poked his forehead but Ikem didn"t respond, he just sat still, staring at the door. "G.o.d will not even give me a child like you, I would have killed you since." She hissed snapping her ngers at him.

Twenty minutes past and she rolled her eyes in frustration. As she was about to tackle him, she noticed a gure at the entrance. Quickly she straightened her back and carefully caressed Ikem"s head, placing a gentle smile on her chapped lips. She resisted the urge to glance at who was watching them.

"Is this how he is?" she asked.

"Ah madam, I didn"t know you were around" she stood, feigning surprise "Most of the time, he likes staying alone" she threw a quick look at Ikem then back at his exhausted mother.

"Does he allow you touch him?" she narrowed her eyes at the maid.

"He doesn"t like to be touched, I have to wait awhile till I know he will let me touch him." she rubbed the back of her neck.

"How long does that take?"

"Two hours, sometimes more. After school, he likes to stay in the room and do nothing, if you interrupt him he will de nitely ght you" she explained staring back at him.

"You can go Uche" she folded her arms and hunched her shoulders. The short plump lady hurried out of the room.

Chinwe took a step and paused, she wondered if her presence might complicate things, she thought he hated her and maybe blamed her for his disability. If she had birthed him healthy, there would no drift between them. It was her fault, something was de nitely wrong with her. He was the reason she didn"t want to have more children, what if they came with special needs? She couldn"t do that to those poor unknowing children, or worse herself.
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She gasped as her heart wrenched and the veins in her neck banged in agony. Tears dropped from her chin down to her white cotton shirt, she sni ed trying her hardest to think positively, she heard footsteps and quickly wiped her damp face. Her husband snuck behind, ma.s.saging her shoulders and planting a tender kiss on her temple.

"How was your day?" he asked, eyes on his son.

"Frustrating" she sighed, an ache pulsed at the back of her head.

"You have not been happy… I want you to be happy. I called some professionals abroad and they can help, it seems promising. Don"t worry he will be ne, I will spend all the money in the world to make sure he gets all the help he needs" he said so full of a.s.surance and hope, she envied him. Why couldn"t she be more like her husband?

"What if he never gets better? I want him to have the best. I love him so much but I don"t know how to communicate with him", her voice trembled and her eyes became wet. "I wish he would just talk to me" she sni ed.

"He will! I know these professionals will change things for the better, their success stories are high"

"I don"t want them here; I am tired of bringing strangers in my home. They might make things worse. Maybe that is what Ikem is trying to tell me, I will quit my job so I can deal with what he needs and help my son heal" she said through her clenched her teeth, nodding with perseverance.

"Are you sure you can deal with this? It won"t be easy" he turned to face her.

"Well nothing amazing in this world comes easy. It is my job as mother to make sure my child is happy and loved" she said "I have been running away from this problem, thinking money can x it but now I know. I have to try and show him I love him" she tapped her chest.

"He knows you love him" he caressed her cheek.

"No he doesn"t. We both know I do but he doesn"t know that, he seems to understand things di erently. He let the G.o.d d.a.m.n maid touch him but never me" she raised her voice.

"Wow" he said softly and pulled his wife in a long embrace.

The strong feeling of fort.i.tude Chinwe had, gradually deteriorated. Ikem wouldn"t let her touch him and she would cry silently, watching him till she was willing to accept defeat. She called Uche to attend to him but kept a close eye on them. Chinwe slipped into depression, and found it hard to see to her child"s needs. She reluctantly left things to the nanny.

It was a sunny Sat.u.r.day and Chinwe nally found the strength to get out bed. Quietly she slipped through the hallway and slowed her pace, when she heard angry words from the maid.

She hurried to her son"s room just in time to catch the maid strike her son, rage turned her mad as she grabbed the woman by the hair, hitting her head on the wall. The maid screamed and before she could regain her composure, Chinwe slapped her so hard she lost her footing. Quickly she tackled the maid hitting her several times.

"How dare you? You b.i.t.c.h!" she yelled. In the heat of the moment she hurried grabbing a vase at the entrance. The heavy object aimed for the bruised woman, she turned a deaf ear to her pleading. Chinwe froze mid-air, realizing she was at the brink of taking a life. She slowly set down the object and ran to her son, hugging him ercely. To her surprise he was just as scared as she was and accepted her comfort with open arms.

"I will make sure you rot in jail; you will not get away with this. I swear to you" she cried. Later that day, the maid was taken to the police station. Ikem"s parent used their in uence to make sure the case was handled with proper care.

Ikem was back from school and just like always he would sit in his room, she tried undressing him but he would struggle with her. It was an act of rejection and it killed Chinwe. She thought he was angry at her for letting that vile woman hit him.

Slowly she touched his forearm in an attempted to remove his shirt, but Ikem threw a small punch at her. Chinwe yelped and quickly shielded her face with her palms; there was a darker shade of pink on her right eye. She stared at him with heavy tears slipping down her chin, pain fouled her entire system. She faced him in frustration.

"What do you want? Tell me!" she demanded, "Please I beg you in G.o.d"s name, talk to me. I will do anything you ask, just don"t ght me. I love you so much, all I am doing is to help you. I won"t harm you, I am your mama" she sni ed, for a second he stared at her then looked away like she never existed. She was discouraged to touch him; afraid he would reject her once again.

Chinwe took in a long breath then found the strength to touch his hand, he didn"t move. Softly she ma.s.saged it then patiently undressed him. He didn"t struggle but started to weep silently. It was as if he was struggling to suppress pain, never had she seen him that way. Chinwe burst into tears and quickly, she dashed out of the room. She couldn"t bear to see him cry in such agony.

Weeks piled up to a month, and she saw some progress. He didn"t ght her as much, and was getting accustomed to her warm touch, although he still wouldn"t look at her for long.

They began sessions every evening called "mummy and me time". Chinwe looked forward to it and at some point, so did her son. It was a period she spent with him uninterrupted. One evening she caught a small smile on his lips, Chinwe was so happy she hopped for minutes. It was the rst time he"d smiled at her.

She pointed out colourful crayons and asked him to draw. At rst he was hesitant but with time he started to obey simple instructions, he scribbled his crayons on the blank forms in his book. At night when she tucked him to sleep, she patted her chest softly and called herself "mama!"

Chinwe was in the kitchen one evening preparing some snacks for their session, she was running a little late and was aware Ikem was all about routine. She hoped and prayed silently he wouldn"t throw one of his ts, she paused as she felt a presence in the kitchen. She swivelled just to nd her son at the doorstep, staring at his feet. Chinwe bent; almost kneeling to see his handsome face. With crunched up knees and hurting ankles she just stared at him for a minute, trying to read his mind. She caressed his face and slowly he looked up at her.

"Mama!" he nally called, his words were slow and slurred but she heard him and knew what he said. At rst Chinwe thought she was delusional, her ears must be playing tricks on her. She gasped, afraid to speak.

"Please say that again" she whispered "lord please let him say that again"

"Mama!" he said, this time it came with a smile. She hugged him, standing on her feet with her little boy in her arms. She cried for what seemed like a long time, planting short kisses on his face and hugging him tightly. It was the best feeling in the world.