Appeasing The Gods

I turned sixteen, in November, but I didn"t feel or look a year older. I made sure I served my father"s friends with the utmost courtesy my mother had taught me. I saw their eyes sliced through me, like a knife buried deep in a chicken"s neck. My father smirked with understanding, as Akanni; one of his father"s friends nodded in approval. It seemed frivolous at the time but as weeks began to mount, his interest in me grew. When he visited, my mother would gingerly send me out to entertain him with kola nuts and palm wine. He would lick his thick lips and dart his dark eyes at me. I was uncomfortable in his presence but no one cared enough to pay attention.

Akanni lavished me with gifts, I did not appreciate his e orts to buy my a ection. My parent celebrated the fact I had caught the eye of the wealthiest man in my village, there was gossip he was richer than the king. I was told Akanni was a famous trader in the city and rubbed shoulders with important people. He was respected in our community, and we knew it was only a matter of time before he owned a chieftaincy t.i.tle. Akanni was in his late forties, with a big belly and springy moustache that I despised so much. I wondered what he saw in me. I was thin, almost gaunt. I couldn"t call myself beautiful in good conscience.

My mother called me out of the hut, it was late. The mosquitoes had settled in their hiding places and crickets made their presence known by giving the night an air of mystic. She told me Akanni and I were engaged and our wedding was to commence in the next ve days, fear paralyzed me as I stared at my mother. I always knew I would get married at a young age but nothing could have prepared me for this moment—nothing at all. I tried pulling back the tears that draped on my lids. I inhaled deeply as I bade her goodnight before heading back to the hut.

My wedding day nally came. I was bought the best clothes and nest beads money could buy. My traditional wears sparkled in colors. My mother danced in her new AsoOke while my father was so excited, one would think he"d just bought a land. I sat still as my friends applied brown powder on my face, and gently traced my eyelids with black. They rubbed me with coconut oil so my dark skin would glitter, soon they gathered my belongings and left the room, giving me a little time to myself.

I looked up and for the rst time since I"ve heard of my arranged marriage, I exploded in tears. I knew my mother heard my cries, she was close by but I didn"t care, all I knew was my life would never remain the same again. A part of me wondered if my parent ever loved me at all. Did I honestly want to know the truth about their a ection for me? Would I survive it?

I was alone and grateful for the silent. Heavy sobs spilled from me as I bent my head. There were rumours about my betrothed, that he was hot tempered. The day before my wedding my friend came to me with a secret, she told me Akanni and his family belonged to a cult. I did not want to believe that my parents would agree to this marriage with such knowledge. I told my mother of my discovery but she informed me such rumours held no roots, "it is no true" she patiently told me. I knew she kept something away from me, but I hoped she was not lying about Akanni. The bamboo door slightly opened and Tunde"s head popped in, quickly I wiped my damp face and reconstructed my slumped shoulders, I tried to smile but my face froze.

"What are you doing?" he asked, entering the room.

"Nothing" I said. He narrowed his eyes on me.

"I know what you are thinking, I don"t want you to get married either" he sighed then folded his arms.

"I guessed I have always seen this coming," my chest tightened as I tried so hard not to cry. Tunde looked away, for a split second I thought I saw tears in his eyes. He moved closer to me then went on his knees. I saw sadness in those brown depths of his and I knew he could see mine.

"Trust me, I will do all I can for you. I will never watch you su er, be patience" he held my hands. I wailed as I couldn"t control my emotions, he was the one who always looked after me, but I knew he could not help me this time. Tunde embraced me and softly patted my back.

Akanni took me home. The women in his household welcomed me with frozen smiles. They led me to my husband"s room and I noticed the secret looks they exchanged amongst themselves. It wasn"t long before they stripped me naked and rubbed me with a piece of material soaked in herbs. They spoke in a language I didn"t understand, and at some point it sounded like incantations. I tried steeling myself against the panic that pounded deep within me. Soon the old women covered my nudity with a red wrapper and left me alone.

The bed was the softest I had ever felt and the sheets were made from the nest silk. There was a bench by the side of the bed and a lantern that lit the room. Soon, the strong wooden door opened and there was a man I had never seen before, although he bore a slight resemblance to Akanni. He was in a piece of red wrapper that clung to his waist, it was the same piece I had. His dark eyes were lled with such coldness it made me shiver. I wrapped my arms around myself, entirely confused.

"Where is my husband?" I nally asked.

"He would be with us shortly," he said. Hastily, he let the material around his waist fall. I gasped, as my eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape but my eyes returned to his aroused manhood. He smirked.

"This is not right, where is Akanni? I am sure he would be upset if he found you here with his new wife," I told him, trying my best not to get intimidated by him. He laughed hard, his shoulders rocked.

"He knows I am here," he said. "We share all our women and I have come to perform the rites of this family. Now lay back on the bed before I force you," his voice hardened. The dread I felt was so strong, I couldn"t move. What had my parents done? How can I escape this misfortune that befell me?

"Please, let me go back home," I trembled. I couldn"t begin to imagine how many men stood behind the door, waiting to take me. He pounced on me and I screamed, scratching his ugly face. He pinned my arms above my head and ripped the material from me. After minutes of torture, he stood over me beaming in amus.e.m.e.nt before walking out.

Another came in, he was much thicker in skin. I knew what his mission was and guessed my plea for freedom would be ignored. I fought him with all my strength but it was in vain. He was more violent than the rst, and I was extremely sore by the time he was done. Soon, he turned to leave but glanced back at me with greedy eyes. I was tired and felt death was the only release I needed. Finally, Akanni came in and he held a black calabash.

I was weak and the allures of slumber had its hold on me. I blinked several times, wading o the inevitable. I slightly stirred as his weight settled on the bed. He drank from the calabash then sprayed it on my body. I shut my eyes as the peppery water pried in, the smell was so spicy I sneezed. I uttered them open, just to nd him naked. I whimpered and muttered gibberish, slowly shaking my head, I tried to move but couldn"t. He brought out a boiled egg from the calabash, it was dark brown and he forced it down my throat, reluctantly I swallowed.

He inserted himself in me and rode slowly. At rst my sight was blurry then my heartbeat thudded slowly only to quicken in a minute. I began to lose my sense of reality. I was in high spirits and had no sense of direction. My hallucinations became vivid. Soon, I saw myself on a narrow path, surrounded by thick forest. I didn"t know where to go or where I was. A hand touched my shoulder and I shivered. It was Akanni! He smiled at me but I looked away, couldn"t bear the sight of him.

"Where are we?" I asked without sparing him a glance.

"That is not for you to know," he replied. I looked straight ahead but was unable to move. I saw a woman approach us. She seemed far away yet very close. Before I knew it, she stood before me. I was alarmed on how fast she got to us. I was under her scrutiny, obsidian eyes wandered all over me. She was in a black wrapper, her rough grey hair weaved in cornrows. She nodded slightly then brought out a long piece of red cloth embedded with cowries, she tied it on my left wrist and motioned Akanni to come forward. We stood side by side before she attached the piece of scarlet on his wrist.

"We accept her," she said. "Her life is tied with yours. Make sure she never leaves your side or you will face the consequences," she disappeared. We felt the ground shake beneath us, bearing cracks. The sound was deafening and the sky that was once blue, had darkened to a stormy grey. The earth enveloped us and we fell in an endless pit.

I woke in the morning, surprised to nd myself alive. I was in great pain and wondered how I would move past what I had seen and felt. Was I going to die? What was Akanni"s plan for me? Could I escape and if I did, where would go? I quivered as I lay on the blood-stained sheet. I was cold and feverish. It wasn"t long before three women came in, two grabbed my arms and helped me up. I yelped in agony as the third cleaned my sticky skin. A young girl came in; she couldn"t be more than seven.

One of the women hauled out the sheets and wrapped it in a skin bag, before handing it over to the young girl. She scurried out of the room as if her life depended on it. I couldn"t believe my predicament, and how these old women could watch me go through such torment. I started with tears again. They didn"t pay any attention to me and only went about their task, faces devoid of emotions.

They fed me a dark foul-smelling liquid and I let it spill, my eyes rested lazily on them. I wished I had the energy to spit on their faces. I was angry as one of them hissed at me and spoke in a language I didn"t understand; as she spoke longer I listened attentively. I realized it was Yoruba but the intonations were di erent, I was beginning to think she spoke in the familiar language all along. My grandfather had spoken in such a manner and I once asked him of what it meant, he told me it was not for my ears but for terrestrial creatures that have lived, since the world began to breathe. He mostly spoke that way when he was trying to communicate with his ancestors and the preparations of rituals. If he was alive, perhaps I wouldn"t have been forced to marry Akanni. Oh how I miss him terribly.

I understood little mentioned, one of the women declared something about my soul being captured. I tried to ght but they held me down. The woman with the bulgy eyes pressed the sides of my mouth forcing my lips wide opened. The other poured the horrible uid down my throat, while the last made sure I was still enough for the rite to be binding. The older female with the big eyeb.a.l.l.s continued her chant, I fought with all I had but it was pointless. The water burned as I swallowed rendering me weak. Soon the women left when they noticed I had taken my ll.

I felt foggy and stumbled o the bench. I crawled towards the door shaking my head as my vision blurred, I needed to escape somehow. I reached for the door, it was close—yet so far away. Stretching my hand was the hardest thing I could do, my body betrayed me once again and it wasn"t long before I gave in to an in nite swirl of darkness.

Days, perhaps weeks ew by, I wasn"t so sure because I was constantly drugged. I barely noticed what was going on around me. Whenever I thought my sanity returned, they would force me to drink the fetid herbs and my mind would lose its connection to the world again. I always woke with such grogginess I began to think I was paralyzed. There were times when it felt as if insects crawled underneath my skin and my body burned feverishly.

It was late at night and the e ects of herbs had begun to wear o , I heard someone come in. I suspected the women were about to feed me the usual and I softly sobbed in frustration, words slurred out of my mouth as I tried to stay focused. I was becoming an addict to the uid and felt my body was no longer mine. I looked up, her face slightly shadowy but I could tell I had never seen her before. She stared down at me and I saw compa.s.sion in her eyes. She slowly placed my head on her soft thighs and fed me some liquid. It was di erent from the ones I normally drank and was much thicker in nature.

"This will help you recover," she whispered in my ears. "You must pretend you are asleep, even when you are not. If they nd out what I am doing, they will kill me" she whispered and I nodded in response. I was grateful for her help, I desperately wanted to tell her that but my mouth wouldn"t move. A tear slowly rolled down my temple and settled in my ear. She smiled sadly before leaving the room.

Days went by and I felt my strength return. My guardian angel visited almost every night to take care of me. I lay on the bed most of the time trying to convince the older women I was weak and unconscious. One night the woman I considered my ally, crept into my room, only this time she came in with a lantern. The small wick dully lit up the room.

"It is time to go," she said. I was shocked at rst but quickly recollected myself. She dressed me in black, and I followed her through corners and holes till I was out of the large compound. I breathed in fresh air and for the rst time in my life I knew the true meaning of freedom. At rst I ran with no sense of direction. I thought about going home but I snapped away from the consideration. I"d rather die than go back to that h.e.l.l. Hurriedly I headed straight to the forest. Branches made their marks on my shoulders and face, but I couldn"t stop. I heard noises behind me but I was too scared to turn back. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me.
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I didn"t know how long I ran but my body trembled from fatigue. I realized that I was lost. The deep scent of the forest embraced me, and air so fresh it was unbelievable. I was frightened and alone in the woods, but not as terri ed as I was back at my husband"s house. It was better to take my chances out here, than back at the luxurious abode that had been my prison for months.

I found a spot to relax. The tree was huge with fanned out branches. I rested on it, my breath heavy as I tried to calm my nerves. I could barely keep my eyelids open. It wasn"t long before I found comfort in slumber. I drifted o and soon was awakened by a hand that grabbed me by the mouth. I froze, then wriggled as my mind tried to grasp what was happening. I wanted to scream, ght, kick, but couldn"t as I was wrapped around a strong male, he smelled of sweat and leather. He turned to face me and I was relieved. It was my eldest brother, Tunde. He stared at me sharply. A nger pressed to his lips, signifying I should be quiet. His wide eyes scanned the forest as we heard rustling of the leaves, we froze trying not to draw attention to ourselves. Soon as the forest was quiet, Tunde took me by the hand and led me deep into greenery.

"Moji, you are in danger!" he nally said to me. He turned to face me as his ngers clasped hard on his machete, sweat covered his body and eyes bled with sadness. "It is true our parents sold you out!" His gaze fell.

"I know they did it for the money. After all, father sees me as a thing to trade with," I said. To my surprise, my voice didn"t shake, only hardened.

"That is not the only thing. He owes Akanni. I don"t know what it is but it seems big," he said.

"Is he aware that the brothers share their women?" I asked, my façade cracking. "Does he know that I wish death upon myself? Is he happy that my life is not my own anymore? That I curse the day I came to this cruel world," I yelled. He embraced and nally I unleashed my emotions. He caressed my head as I sobbed hard, digging my nails in his skin and holding him as tight as I could. After long minutes, I sighed as I couldn"t cry any longer. Slowly, I pulled away from him.

"Akanni is very angry. Ofѐ le pa baba wa. He and some men came searching for you at our house and had threatened to take our father"s life on his next visit" he paused, then continued, "I should have done something quickly, I am aware of the tradition in their family. I am sorry it took me a while to send someone to help you," he lowered his gaze.

"So you sent her?" I asked and he nodded. I smiled in appreciation. "Why is he after me? I am not that important to him. I am just a girl he married. Why is he so upset? Can"t he nd someone else?"

"Because it is bad luck for the wife to be missing, that"s why they drugged them so they can"t leave and the wives end up needing the things they feed them. It is a ploy they have been using for generations. Everything turns sour if you leave him and worse would happen if you die. Every one of their family members will die", he explained. I was perplexed at rst then it all started to make sense, the trance and endless rituals.

"Why didn"t you inform me of this?"

"I didn"t know it was to this extent, I never knew they would harm you. After you got married I started to ask more questions and seek an escape for you. I had to get you out as soon as I could" he sighed, there were heavy bags beneath his eyes.

"Even if I did know about Akanni, I don"t know if I would have escaped. I don"t have the courage like you" I bit my lips, and closed my eyes "you are always the strong one"

"Don"t say that, you are always the smartest" he paused then continued "if I had taken you away on your wedding day, we wouldn"t make it out alive"

"Let"s run and never return," I said, lled with hope.

"That is exactly what we are going to do," he smiled, and together we ran. Two days pa.s.sed and we were deep in the woods and couldn"t tell where we were. The deeper we walked, the thicker the forest got. I wasn"t well. My body craved the foul smelling herbs they gave me and it was all I could think of. I slumped, unable to ght the thirst anymore. The feeling was so agonizing, I thought I would die from it.

"Stay strong," he reiterated till I blacked out. I woke with the feel of water on my chapped lips. It was late and my skin itched terribly from mosquito"s bites. My blistered skin was covered with branches and my brother stayed at my side to keep me warm. There was a point I began to swell with the idea of returning to my husband"s house. I shook my head trying to think clearly. We heard footsteps and whispers echoing through the forest.

Tunde helped me sit, my back against the tree and swiftly he stood to check if we still had a better chance of an escape. Torches pierced the darkness the forest guarded itself with. I took Tunde"s hand, about to stand, that was when my brother was tackled by a tall man. He placed the machete on his throat, daring my brother to move. I swallowed, unable to push past the lump that clung to my throat.

"Please, don"t kill him," I nally spoke. "I will go anywhere with you, if you let him go," I quaked. From his expression I knew the man was willing to kill my brother. I was frightened, so scared I thought my heart would give out.

"You don"t have a choice," he smirked. I had to think quickly, save the only family I cared about. Tunde glanced at his machete on the oor and then back at me. I could tell he was thinking of ways to ght back. It was a risky move and could easily have his throat slit. Others gathered around us and stretched out their weapons. I saw my brother surrender. I also did not see a way out but going back was not an option. Quickly, I took a sharp stick and placed it on my neck. Everyone drew their breath and froze. I got them exactly where I wanted.

"Let my brother go!" I demanded. They all stared at me as if I had gone completely mad and perhaps I was "I swear by the G.o.ds I will kill myself and you know what that means," I said, and no one moved or dared to speak. All attention was on me.

"Don"t do this," Tunde said disgruntled, his eyes held fear; not for himself but for me. I nodded softly, giving him a hint I had the situation under control. I pressed the stick hard on my skin and felt a cut, the sharp pain made me groan. A drop of blood slid down my throat.

"Let him go," one of them barked the order.

"But Akanni said we should kill him," he defended.

"What will you tell him when she kills herself? He would personally slaughter you and your entire family. Now let him go!" Slowly, the man stepped back, his machete still stretched forward. Tunde retreated from the weapon and stood by my side.

"Leave now! It wouldn"t make sense if we both die. You

will have a better chance of rescuing me. Please I beg of you, leave and come back for me. You are not ready now but you will be. I am telling you to save both our lives," I pleaded, sobs choked me violently but I put on a brave face. He stood in front of me crying. It was the rst time I had ever seen him shed tears.

"I will come back for you and I swear, I will destroy everything Akanni loves. Be patient and wait for me," he said then ed. Tunde ran so fast he disappeared in the thick forest. They all stared at me, waiting for me to drop the stick. I smiled sadly and slowly began to lower my hand. They sighed.

I closed my eyes and prayed for strength. I believed my brother and would stake my life on his return but I had to take matters in my own hands. Quickly, I stuck the branch in my throat. The shredding pain drove me at the verge of h.e.l.l. I choked as blood sputtered from my neck. The intense smell of it, was a dawn of reality I had committed an irrevocable action. I lay on the oor gasping for breath. Quickly, the men hovered around me, panic on their faces. Dying was much harder than I thought, it was excruciating and cold. For the rst time in my life I was in control, slowly I closed my eyes as a wave of silence hit me.