"Because something will fall out. It"s overflowing with stuff I should have packed off to the thrift store years ago."
"But someone might be..."
"Hiding in there?" Hannah gave a little laugh as she interrupted him. "Impossible. There isn"t room for one more thing."
"Okay. If you say so." Mike moved on to her bedroom. The first thing he did was head for her closet. "Is it okay to check in here?" he asked.
"Yes. Everything I cleaned out of here is in the guest room closet." Hannah was silent as Mike opened her closet and checked for intruders. When he"d slid the doors closed again, she followed him to her bathroom and waited while he checked that. "You made Jack feel good, asking him about the little animals he carves."
"It was interesting. He knows a lot about wildlife."
"Well, thank you for being so nice to him. Everybody there appreciated it."
As they walked back down the hallway, Mike slipped his arm around her and gave her a little hug. "You don"t have to thank me for being nice to Jack. I like Jack. It"s true he"s losing it a little, but he"s still got more on the ball than a lot of people."
"That"s true."
"I like everyone who was at The Cookie Jar tonight. Lisa"s like the girl next door. She"s sweet, and nice, and...and wholesome. And Herb"s a true-blue Minnesota guy. He"d give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. And then there"s Marge. She"s got a big heart and she wants to help everybody. And I think Patsy"s the same way. It makes me feel good to be around people like that."
Hannah smiled. "So you changed your mind about living in Lake Eden?"
"What do you mean?"
"When you first moved here, you thought it was too small, that it would be like living in a fishbowl."
Mike shrugged. "Well, it is like living in a fishbowl. But I really don"t mind. I like almost everybody here in Lake Eden."
"Everybody?" Hannah couldn"t resist teasing him a little.
Mike shrugged. "I said almost everybody. I even like Bertie Straub...in small doses."
Hannah laughed. Bertie wasn"t shy about giving people advice, and she didn"t have a tactful bone in her body. She"d decided that her niece was the right woman for Mike even though Mike wasn"t interested. And every time she saw Mike, she tried to force the issue.
Mike opened the hall closet, glancing inside, and shut it again. Then he checked out the kitchen and the laundry room. "Everything looks good," he told her.
"Great. Thanks for coming in to check." Hannah led him to the door, but she didn"t open it. Instead, she stepped closer and gave him a little hug. It was intended as a thank-you hug, the kind of hug you"d give your brother-in-law if he"d just fixed your garbage disposal. But Mike must not have recognized the imaginary blue band around the generic hug, because he pulled her up tight against him and tipped her face up to kiss her.
Uh-oh, he"s got the wrong idea, Hannah thought as their kiss deepened. And a few seconds later, she thought, Uh-oh, he"s got the RIGHT idea! And she knew she"d better break things up quickly.
"Sorry," Mike said, stepping away before she could even consider how to achieve the same result.
"That"s okay," Hannah said, hoping the little quaver in her voice didn"t give away how captivated she"d been.
"I"d better go now, while I still can." Mike walked to the door and turned. "You know I love you, don"t you?"
Hannah nodded. She knew Mike loved her...in his own way. She loved him too, but Mike"s love wasn"t exactly monogamous. Of course her love wasn"t exactly monogamous either since she also loved Norman. It was...complicated. Very complicated.
"I"ve got no right loving you. Not when I"m such a jerk." Mike stopped speaking and sighed deeply. "I don"t know what"s wrong with me, Hannah. You"re the best thing that"s happened to me since my wife died, and I keep goofing it up right and left. It"s like I don"t want to succeed in love again. And as long as I"m fickle, I don"t have to try."
Hannah didn"t know what to say. Mike was being brutally honest. Everything he"d said was true. "I...I think I understand," she said.
"You"re too good for me, Hannah. If you hook up with me, I"m just going to break your heart. You should marry Norman. He loves you. I"m sure about that. Norman"s a really nice guy and he"ll treat you right."
Again, Hannah was at a loss for words. She just stared at Mike, wondering what he"d say next. And then she realized what he"d already said. "You want me to marry Norman?"
"No! It"s not what I want, that"s for sure. But I think you should marry Norman. I know you want to get married. I"ve seen you with Tracey and Bethie, and I can tell you want kids of your own. Norman would make a great father."
"True," Hannah said, giving a tight little nod. "But I don"t want to get married to anyone! Not now. Maybe not ever. And you can"t palm me off on Norman like I"m some kind of bad poker hand!"
"I wasn"t..."
"Yes, you were!" Hannah interrupted him. "You were being all selfless and sweet, and trying to pull the wool over my eyes."
"What wool? What are you talking about?"
"You don"t want to marry me anymore, and this is a good way of breaking up with me. It makes you look like the good guy. Why don"t you just come out and say that you don"t want to marry me anymore?"
"But I do! I just don"t think I"d do right by you, that"s all." Mike put his hand on the doork.n.o.b, but he didn"t open it. Instead he turned back for a final word. "I"d be the happiest man in the world if you"d marry me, Hannah. I can"t think of anything that would be better for me. But it wouldn"t be better for you. You"d be miserable if you married me. Every time I turned around to look at a pretty woman, you"d wonder if I was going to make a move on her when you weren"t around. Think about it, Hannah. I"ve already let you down a couple of times in the past, and you"d have to be the biggest fool on earth to take a chance on me."
And with that said, Mike pulled her into his arms and kissed her until her mind was spinning with joyful abandon.
There was no way of telling how long the kiss lasted. And there was no way of doubting that Mike desired her. It was a lover"s kiss, a way of communicating the closeness they both felt. Hannah reveled in the feeling for breathless moments and then...suddenly...Mike was gone, and she realized that she was standing there alone with her fingertips touching her lips, swaying slightly, savoring the memory.
"Oh," Hannah gave a soft little cry. Mike was willing to sacrifice his own happiness to keep her from making what he thought would be a dreadful mistake. She felt like running after him, throwing her arms around him, and...
The feel of warm fur brushing against her ankles brought her out of her imaginings and back in touch with reality. Was Mike putting her on? Was this a little game he was playing? Did he want her to feel so sorry for him, she"d race after him, tell him it didn"t matter, and melt into his arms?
Hannah pondered the questions for a moment, and then she sighed deeply. There was no way she could know for sure. Thank goodness Norman was coming back soon! Of course she"d never ask Norman for advice on her relationship with Mike, but just knowing that Norman was there, steady and loving, gave an anchor to her confused emotions.
And that was when she saw that the red light on her remote phone was blinking rhythmically. She"d missed a call working late at The Cookie Jar and she hadn"t noticed it when she"d come in with Mike.
Hannah took time to reach down and pet the two cats, and then she headed for the end table by the couch to play back her message on the remote phone system she"d bought when her old-fashioned answer machine had finally given up the ghost.
"Hi, Hannah. It"s Norman." At the first sound of Norman"s voice, Cuddles jumped up on her lap and tried to lick the phone. "It"s your daddy," Hannah said, holding the phone a little closer so that Cuddles could hear.
"It"s almost seven and I guess you"re out somewhere for dinner. I"m just getting ready to leave the hotel and meet my friends for dinner."
Hannah frowned slightly. Norman"s voice sounded strained, but perhaps that was the connection.
"If it"s not too much trouble, can you keep Cuddles for another night? I"m going to stay over one more day. I have a couple of things I have to do and it"s going to take me longer than I expected. I"ll be back on Thursday and I"ll pick up Cuddles on Thursday after work." There was a pause and Norman cleared his throat. "Oh, yes. I already talked to Doc Bennett and he"s coming in to work for me, so you don"t have to worry about that."
Hannah"s frown deepened. Perhaps it was just her imagination, but Norman didn"t sound very happy. And he should have been happy meeting up with all his friends from dental school again.
"I guess that"s it." Norman cleared his throat again. "Have a nice evening. "Bye."
No I love you? No I miss you? No I"m thinking about you and I wish you were with me? Hannah replaced the phone in the charging station with a frown. She wasn"t sure what had happened to Norman in Minneapolis, but something was definitely wrong.
Of course she couldn"t go to bed, not with one boyfriend confusing the d.i.c.kens out of her by wanting to marry her but claiming he was saving her from herself by pushing her into another man"s arms, and the other boyfriend suffering with an unknown problem in Minneapolis, a problem that made him sound like a stranger instead of a man who could hardly wait to get back to her. In a situation like this, there was only one thing to do and she knew exactly what it was. She had to bake.
Hannah hurried to the kitchen and opened the pantry to survey the ingredients she had on hand. She"d received a recipe last month from a friend she"d known in college. History major Katie Strehler had always attended cla.s.s with a to-go cup of coffee in her hand. She"d been an even bigger coffee drinker than Hannah, and if Katie said her Mocha Nut b.u.t.terb.a.l.l.s satisfied that coffee urge, Hannah certainly wasn"t about to doubt her. She"d already stocked up on the ingredients she needed to make Katie"s cookies. They were on the top shelf, along with the recipe. Hannah read it through again to make sure she had everything, and then she carried it all out to the kitchen counter.
It didn"t take long to mix up the dough, and within five minutes Hannah had the first pan in the oven. Since it was silly to try a new recipe without at least tasting it, she put on a fresh pot of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table to wait for the cookies to come out of the oven. She"d just slipped the second pan into the oven and was preparing to roll the cooled cookies in powdered sugar when the door opened and Mich.e.l.le came in.
"It"s almost midnight!" Mich.e.l.le said, spotting Hannah at the kitchen counter. "Can"t you sleep?"
"I can"t sleep quite yet. I have to wait for another couple of pans of cookies to come out of the oven."
Mich.e.l.le sniffed the air appreciatively. "They smell great. What are they?"
"Mocha Nut b.u.t.terb.a.l.l.s. Do you want to try one?"
"Sure." Mich.e.l.le tossed her purse on the table and went to the coffee pot to pour herself a cup. "I"ll help you bake the rest. I"m too mad to go to sleep."
"Why are you mad?"
"It"s Lonnie. He"s being a real pain about wanting to get engaged right away. I think he"s afraid I"m going out with someone else."
"Are you?" Hannah asked the important question.
"I was, but I"m not right now. It"s just that I want to keep my options open. I don"t want to be tied down at this point in my life."
"Mmm," Hannah commented, keeping it neutral as she filled a plate with cookies. "Have a cookie and tell me what you think."
Mich.e.l.le took a cookie and bit into it. She gave a little moan of delight and popped the remainder into her mouth. "I"ve got three words to describe them."
"And they are...?"
"Mocha. b.u.t.ter. Yum!"
"That"s good enough for me," Hannah said, taking a cookie for herself. "So what are you going to do about Lonnie?"
"I don"t know."
"Do you love him?"
Mich.e.l.le took another cookie. "Yes, I love him. But he"s demanding too much of me. Maybe next year, or the year after. But not right now. I"m still trying out my wings."
"I know," Hannah said, hoping those wings weren"t flapping anywhere near Bradford Ramsey. One broken Swensen heart was enough.
"Men!" Mich.e.l.le muttered around her third cookie. "You can"t live with them, and you can"t live without them."
"That"s true, but it"s okay."
"It is?" Mich.e.l.le turned to stare at her.
"Sure it is...as long as the Mocha Nut b.u.t.terb.a.l.l.s hold out."
MOCHA NUT b.u.t.tERb.a.l.l.s.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F., rack in the middle position.
1 cup softened b.u.t.ter (2 sticks, pound) cup white (granulated) sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 Tablespoon instant coffee powder (I used espresso powder)***
cup cocoa powder (I used Hershey"s) teaspoon salt 1 and cups all-purpose flour (no need to sift) 1 and cups finely chopped pecans ****
----- powdered sugar (that"s confectioner"s sugar) to coat the baked cookies *** - If the only instant coffee you can get comes in granules or beads, crush them up into a powder with the back of a spoon before you add them to the cookie dough.
**** - Mother likes these with chopped walnuts. Andrea prefers pecans. I think they"re best with hazelnuts. Tracey adores these when I subst.i.tute flaked coconut for the nuts and form the dough b.a.l.l.s around a small piece of milk chocolate.
Soften the b.u.t.ter. Mix in the white sugar, vanilla extract, instant coffee powder, cocoa, and salt.
Add the flour in half-cup increments, mixing after each addition. (You don"t have to be exact. It won"t come out even anyway! Just make sure the flour is added in three parts.) Stir in the nuts. Do your best to make sure that they"re evenly distributed.
Form the dough into one-inch b.a.l.l.s (just pat them into shape with your fingers) and place them on an ungreased baking sheet, 12 to a standard sheet. Press them down very slightly (they"re supposed to look like b.a.l.l.s, but you don"t want them to roll off on their way to the oven.) Bake the cookie b.a.l.l.s at 325 degrees F. for 12 to 15 minutes, until they are set. (Mine took 14 minutes.) Move the cookies from the cookie sheet to a wire rack. Let them cool on the rack completely.
When the cookies are completely cool, dip them in powdered sugar to coat them. (If you roll them in powdered sugar while they"re still warm, they have a tendency to break apart.) Let them rest for several minutes on the wire rack and then store them in a cookie jar or a covered container.
Yield: Makes 3 to 4 dozen simply amazing cookies.
Hannah"s 1st Note: After Mich.e.l.le ate almost half a batch, she had a suggestion. She"s going to try making them and rolling them in sweetened powdered chocolate instead of powdered sugar. She thinks Ghirardelli makes a sweetened powdered chocolate that will work.
Hannah"s 2nd Note: I think these cookies would be incredibly tasty dipped in melted chocolate. Too bad there aren"t any left so that I can try it.
Chapter Seven.
Hannah put on her sleep shirt, rested her head on the pillow, shut her eyes, and the alarm went off. At least that was the sequence as she perceived it. A little subtraction, not as simple as one might think this early in the morning, proved her wrong. She"d actually gotten a grand total of four and a half hours sleep. It wasn"t enough. Her eyes still felt scratchy, and all of her muscles ached, not entirely because Moishe and Cuddles had tried to commandeer the entire mattress.
She forced her feet to cross the room and step into the tiled bathroom. Then she willed her hand to turn on the water in the shower. Seconds later, she was sputtering under the forceful spray, alive and awake enough to realize that she"d forgotten to turn on the k.n.o.b for the hot water and she was still wearing her sleep shirt.
Hannah turned off the water, peeled herself out of the wet garment, and adjusted the temperature of the spray. After she"d taken her shower, she hung up her soggy sleep shirt on the showerhead to dry. Five minutes later, dressed in jeans and a blouse, she padded into the kitchen in her slippers only to realize that the coffee she"d set to go off automatically last night was half gone.
"Good morning, Hannah. Sit down. I"ll get your coffee."
Hannah turned toward the voice. She blinked. Once, twice, and then she gave a half-hearted wave. Mich.e.l.le was sitting at the kitchen table holding a mug of coffee, and she looked as fresh as a croissant that had just come out of the oven. Her eyes were clear, her hair was glossy, and she was dressed in a pair of white slacks and a crisp yellow blouse.
As she watched, Mich.e.l.le jumped up and headed for the coffee pot. Hannah sat down on a chair and pondered an important question. It was obvious that Mich.e.l.le had been up for a while. She"d curled her hair and put on makeup. How could anyone look so beautiful after so little sleep? Michele was lovely in the morning, and that made Hannah feel old and ugly in comparison.
"I made breakfast," Mich.e.l.le said, carrying Hannah"s coffee to the table and setting it down. "It"s just scrambled eggs and cheese. Would you like some?"
Hannah nodded. She was incapable of speech. Mich.e.l.le had gotten up so early she"d had time to make breakfast. Not only was she beautiful at this ridiculously early hour of the morning, she was also organized and energetic.