O worse, Sir, worse--Heav"n knows where it might end.
Perhaps _Ourself_ and our dear _Brother_ too, No longer might our Country"s Business do--
_E. M._ That, Sir, you"ve done already--rather, then, _Your_ Business would be done. _G. M._ Ungrateful Men!
We that have serv"d you at such vast Expence, } And gone thro" thick and thin. _E. M._ There"s no Defence, } Would serve your Purpose--Hence, then, good Sirs, Hence; } Fly, for the Evil Days at Hand, Pray fly-- _G. M._ What leave my Country to be _lost_?--Not I; The Danger"s yet but in Imagination, I hope one _Seven Years more_ to _save_ the Nation.
In vain you Patriot Oafs p.r.o.nounce my Fall, Like the great LAUREAT, _S"Blood I"ll stand you all_.
What tho" you"ve made the _People_ loath my Name, I live not on such slender Food as Fame; And yet that _People_"s _mine_--My Will obey, } Implicit Bow beneath my sovereign Sway, } Whilst these my _Messengers_ prepare my Way; } These all your Slanders will at Sight refute, They"re sterling Evidence which none dispute.
For these, Content, or to be d.a.m.n"d or Sav"d-- _E. M._--Nay if they will, why let "em be enslav"d: If they will barter all that"s Good and Great, For present Pelf, nor Mind their future State; If none Thy baleful Influence will withstand, Go forth, _Corruption_, Lord it o"er the Land; If they are Thine for better and for worse, On Them and on their Children light the Curse.
_G. M._ _Corruption_, Sir!--pray use a milder Term; "Tis only a Memento to be _firm_; The Times are greatly alter"d--Years ago, A Man would blush the World his _Price_ should know: Scruple to own his _Voice_ was to be bought; And meanly minded what the Million thought; Our Age more _Prudent_, and _Sincere_ is grown, The Hire they _wisely_ take, they _bravely_ own; Laugh at the Fool, who let"s his _Conscience_ stand, To barr his Pa.s.sage to the promis"d Land; Or, sway"d by Prejudice, or puny Pride, Thinks _Right_ and _Int"rest_ of a different Side.
_E. M._ _O Nation_ lost to Honour and to Shame!
So, then, Corruption now has chang"d its Name: And what was once a paultry _Bribe_, to Day Is gently stil"d an _Honourable_ Pay.
Blessings on that great Genius who has wrought This strange Conversion--Who has bravely bought Our Liberty from Virtue--Pray go on.
_G. M._ Of Commerce next you talk--pretend "tis gone, To _Foreign_ Climes--_Amen_, for what I care, Perdition on the Merchants--They must dare!
To thwart my Purpose--I detest them--_E. M._ How!
_G. M._ Yes--And I think I"m _even_ with "em now.
They would not be _convention"d_, nor _excis"d_, But they shall feel the Scourge themselves advis"d; They shall be swingingly _bewarr"d_, I"ll swear; And since they"d not my _little Finger_ bear, My _Loins_ shall press "em "till they guilty plead, And sue for Mercy at my Feet. _E. M._ Indeed!
_G. M._ Aye, trust me, shall they----_E. M._ But don"t tell "em so; } For they"re a stubborn _st.u.r.dy_ Gang you know, } _G. M._ O! they"ll be _supple_ when their Cash runs low.
Their _Purse_, which makes them proud and insolent, A trav"ling with their Commerce shall be sent-- _E. M._ Take Care they don"t send _you_ a trav"ling first; _G. M._ No, Sir, I dare "em now to do their Worst.
_Seven Sessions_ more I am at least secure-- _E. M._ Nay then you"ll crush "em quite?--But are you sure, There is a _Spirit_, Sir? _G. M._ What Spirit pray?
A _Spirit_ that the _Treasury_ can"t lay.
_E. M._ I"m answer"d Sir,--_G. M._ Next, Friend, one Word about Those spiteful Innuendoes you throw out, That squint at _Contracts_, _Forage_, and what not, "Tis _more_ than Time that those Things were forgot.
You should not link the _present_ with the _past_-- _E. M._ Yes when they make one _glorious Whole_ at last; When, tho" _Times differ_, _Actions_ still _agree_, And what Men _were_ they _are_--What they _will_ be, We safely may p.r.o.nounce--_G. M._ Well, Sir, but why On my dear Family and Friends this Cry?
Suppose they"ve Places, Wealth, and t.i.tles too, _Merit_ like Ours should surely have its _Due_.
That _squaemish_ Steward"s of all Fools the worst, That lays not up for his _own Houshold_ first; Nor takes a _proper_ Care of those _staunch_ Friends, By whose _good Services_ he gains his Ends.
Besides, who"d drudge the _Mill-Horse_ of the State; Curst by the Vulgar, envy"d by the Great; In one fastidious Round of Hurry live, And join, in Toil, the _Matin_ with the _Eve_; Be hourly plagu"d "bout Pensions, Strings, Translations, Or, worse! that _d.a.m.n"d Affair_ of _Foreign_ Nations.
Make _War_ and _Treaties_ with alternate Pain: First sweat to build, then to pull down again.
Who"d cringe at _Levees_, or in _Closets_--Oh!
Stoop to the _rough_ Remonstrance of the _Toe_?
Did not some Genius whisper, "That"s the Road "To Opulence, and Honours bless"d Abode; "Thus you may aggrandize yourself, and Race; "_Pension_ this _Knight_, or give that _Peer_ a _Place_."
_E. M._ So _Angria_, Sir, as justly might declare, He _plunder"d_ only to _enrich_ his _Heir_; Nor longer would his _Piracies_ pursue, Than "till he had _provided_ for his _Crew_.
_G. M._ Your Servant, Sir, I think you"re pretty _free_-- } _E. M._ Why Truth is Truth, Sir, and will out, you see; } _G. M._ Yes, s"death! but _couple Angria_ with _me_!
_E. M._ I"ll say no more on"t--_G. M._ No you"ve said _enough_; And what you next advise, is canting Stuff.
_Turn my Eyes inward_! not quite so devout; They"ve Task sufficient to look sharp _without_: And should the fatal Sisters cut my Thread Some _score Years_ hence--I trouble not my Head } _Where_ I"m entomb"d, or number"d with _what_ Dead; } I want no _Grave-Stone_ to promulge my _Fame_, Nor trust to _breathless Marble_ for a _Name_, BRITANNIA"S self a _Monument_ shall stand Of the _bless"d Dowry_ I bequeath my Land: Her Sons shall hourly my _dear Conduct_ boast; They _best_ can speak it, who will _feel_ it most.
But if some grateful Verse _must_ grace my Urn, Attend ye _Gazeteers_--Be this the Turn-- _Weep_, Britons, _weep_--_Beneath this Stone lies He, Who set your Isle from dire Divisions free, } And made your various Factions all agree_. }
_E. M._ That"s right, _G. M._ You"d have me quit too--No, I"ll still Drive on, and make you happy "_gainst your Will_.
As for your _may_ and _may_, Sir,--_may be Not_, Can my _vast Services_ be _There_ forgot?
As for those _lauded Successors_ you name, If once in Pow"r, they"d act the very _same._ _E. M._ That"s Cobweb Sophistry--Did they not fill The n.o.blest Posts? And had they not, pray, _still_, But that they greatly scorn"d to _league_ with those, Who were at once their King"s and Country"s Foes?
_G. M._ Well, Sir, as there is nothing I can say Will with your starch"d unbending Temper weigh; My last _best_ Answer I"ll in _Writing_ leave; Pray mark it--_E. M._ How! May I my Eyes believe?
_G. M._ You may--I thought I should convince you, _E. M._ Yes, That Fame for once spoke Truth--And as for _This_-- _G. M._ Furies! My _thousand Bank_, Sir, _E. M._ Thus I Tear, Go, blend, _Corruption_, with _corrupting_ Air.
_G. M._ Amazing Frenzie! Well, if this won"t do, What think you of a _Pension_? _E. M._ As of _You_.
_G. M._ A _Place_--_E. M._ Be gone, _G. M._ A _t.i.tle_--_E. M._ is a _Lie_ When ill conferr"d _G. M._ A _Ribband_--_E. M._ I defie Farewell then Fool--If you"ll accept of _Neither_, You and your _Country_ may be _d.a.m.n"d_ together.
FINISH