My cook is so afraid of mice.
Now you"ll admit it"s very nice To feel your cook"s afraid of mice.
Democracy
Democracy is this--to hold That all who wander down the pike In cart or car, on foot or bike, Or male or female, young or old, Are much alike--are much alike.
Feminism
"Mother, what is a Feminist?"
"A Feminist, my daughter, Is any woman now who cares To think about her own affairs As men don"t think she oughter."
The Warning
No, it isn"t home neglecting If you spend your time selecting Seven blouses and a jacket and a hat; Or to give your day to paying Needless visits, or to playing Auction bridge. What critic could object to that?
But to spend two precious hours At a lecture! Oh, my powers, The home is all a woman needs to learn.
And an hour, or a quarter, Spent in voting! Why, my daughter, You could not find your home on your return.
Evolution
Said Mr. Jones in 1910: "Women, subject yourselves to men."
Nineteen-Eleven heard him quote: "They rule the world without the vote."
By Nineteen-Twelve, he would submit "When all the women wanted it."
By Nineteen-Thirteen, looking glum, He said that it was bound to come.
This year I heard him say with pride: "No reasons on the other side!"
By Nineteen-Fifteen, he"ll insist He"s always been a suffragist.
And what is really stranger, too, He"ll think that what he says is true.
Intercepted
"Only the worst of them vote."
"Are not the suffragists frights?"
"Nietzsche"s the person to quote."
"I prefer love to my rights."
"Are not the suffragists frights?"
"s.e.x is their only appeal."
"I prefer love to my rights."
"No, we don"t think, but we feel."
"s.e.x is their only appeal."
"Woman belongs at the loom."
"No, we don"t think, but we feel."
"Doesn"t it rub off the bloom?"
"Woman belongs at the loom."
"Isn"t the speaker a bore!"
"Doesn"t it rub off the bloom?"
"Oh, it"s a fad--nothing more."
"Isn"t the speaker a bore!"
"Nietzsche"s the person to quote."
"Oh, it"s a fad--nothing more."
"Only the worst of them vote."
The Universal Answer
Oh, there you go again, Invading man"s domain!
It"s Nature"s laws, you know, you are defying.
Don"t fancy that you can Be really like a man, So what"s the use of all this fuss and trying?
It seems to me so clear, That women"s highest sphere Is being loving wives and patient mothers.
Oh, can"t you be content To be as you were meant?
{souls For {books belong to husbands and to brothers.
{votes
Candor
(_By an admirer of the late H.C. Bunner_.)
"I know what you"re going to say," she said, And she stood up, causing him some alarm; "You"re going to tell me I"ll lose my charm, And what is a woman when charm has fled?